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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / About To Divorce Him, Please I Need Your Advise (5283 Views)
Is He Not Meeting Up To Expectations? Divorce Him! / "My Husband Uses ‘Aboniki’ Balm As Lubricant" – Woman Files For Divorce / Woman To Divorce Husband Over Bride Price (2) (3) (4)
About To Divorce Him, Please I Need Your Advise by Nobody: 1:41am On Aug 06, 2014 |
. 2 Likes |
Re: About To Divorce Him, Please I Need Your Advise by obowunmi(m): 1:44am On Aug 06, 2014 |
Get divorced, simple. 3 Likes |
Re: About To Divorce Him, Please I Need Your Advise by Nobody: 1:53am On Aug 06, 2014 |
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Re: About To Divorce Him, Please I Need Your Advise by obyrich(m): 2:04am On Aug 06, 2014 |
He was calling you and praying for you every night and at the same time having intimacy with you? That's enough to know he was a fake Christian. I hate divorce much as I detest deceit. I suggest you separate. If he doesn't change, then do the needful. 3 Likes |
Re: About To Divorce Him, Please I Need Your Advise by Kanwulia: 2:28am On Aug 06, 2014 |
Only one question for you. Do you have a job? Or is your husband the only job you have? ![]() 5 Likes |
Re: About To Divorce Him, Please I Need Your Advise by mstik(f): 2:45am On Aug 06, 2014 |
Divorce- easier said than done ![]() Talk to him, try to get his attention. Tell him how you feel and you can get close family and friends involved. Goodluck 2 Likes |
Re: About To Divorce Him, Please I Need Your Advise by Dreal1247: 2:57am On Aug 06, 2014 |
The truth is that most men can do anything to get a woman, immidiately that is done, it is a different ball game. Acknowledge the fact that you are the wife and unconditionally need to submit in obedience and humility. Dont expect the boy friend that you had to be the husband that you marry. Though if you are lucky enough, thank heavens. Forget the issue of divorce as you night end up with someone worse. Draw closer to God and believe him for better days ahead. Remember, the best person to train a child is the mother. Another woman can even poison him to death i wish you the best. 6 Likes |
Re: About To Divorce Him, Please I Need Your Advise by Nobody: 4:35am On Aug 06, 2014 |
munarule: Hello wonderful people, pls I seriously need your advise. I married this man last 4yrs and God bless us with a son who is 3yrs old. Before the wedding,he was doing everything to win my heart and was also claiming to be born again by calling me every night to pray for me. Am a kind of romantic person so i allowed him to hv sex with me to know his skills on bed. I was sure that he can satisfy me on bed before I accepted his proposal cos hv vow never to allow another man hv sex with me once am married. The problem started since the day he paid my bride price,he want me to be treating him like king while he treat me like slave(though he's 11yrs older than me). He doesn't appreciate me anymore and the most annoying part of it is that he's now claiming single on fb,proposing marriage to different ladies. I no longer see him as friend and confidant,he now make love to me twice or thrice a month. am just 28 and I need to enjoy marriage. Am dying silently pls tell me what to do and pls dnt tell me to go and report him to our pastor cos hv done that several times. God bless you. Sae reaso, why u have to get mmarried to ur friend; some1 u can tell his nxt move; not juming into marriage cus of peer influnce n society; or age; anyway, d harm has bbeen donne. Somme 1 raised an important pppoint; re u working? Or u solely dependent on himm? Dat is very crucial; cus men respect woen, who happen to bring something 2 d table, not taking d little dey keep on d table. Alsoj have u deppreciated in ur physical appearance n qualities? Those sweet curves n boobs u used to have ; did d delivery cause any abberation 4rm ur kool self; this is also very impportant, cus men, as we happen to be are attracted by sight and not solely by emotions as our female counterpparts, so pls check urself if u happen to be defaulting in any of d aforementioned try fixing it.. Cus 4rm all I can tell; he isn't attracted 2 u nomore, n happens not 2be proud portraying U as his wife ; (4 some1 proud enof 2 tek u 2 d alter, n made dat solemn vow) sommething must have gone wrong sommewhere; Try fixing 1 of those ; n come bbck 2 tenk me later 1 Like |
Re: About To Divorce Him, Please I Need Your Advise by purplesummer(f): 5:47am On Aug 06, 2014 |
Dreal1247 has almost said it all. Divorce is not a good thing, this is marriage OP and as unfortunate as it sounds, you have to stay, look after your son and continue to pray for your husband. As Dreal1247 has said, draw closer to God and take solace in Him. It's well. 2 Likes |
Re: About To Divorce Him, Please I Need Your Advise by Nobody: 5:53am On Aug 06, 2014 |
Here comes another pity party. He has all the symptoms he's showing now during courtship,only you were too blinded to notice it.. I don't pity any married couple,cos they deserve whatever spouse they get,afterall bird of feathers they say flock together. Get use to him. |
Re: About To Divorce Him, Please I Need Your Advise by Nobody: 7:03am On Aug 06, 2014 |
Op, you had sex before marriage cause you wanted to know if he's good on bed, hmmm...... marriage is not all about sex, now he can satisfy you on bed but you want more than that satisfaction to stay married, go and work on yourself. 2 Likes |
Re: About To Divorce Him, Please I Need Your Advise by samonom(m): 7:09am On Aug 06, 2014 |
pls dear, dnt go for divorce, talk with him on your observation, be submissive, respect him & show him love, pray for him, it is just a phase that will go out soonest., to stop hurting yourself avoid looking at his phone. it will be alright soon tke 3 Likes |
Re: About To Divorce Him, Please I Need Your Advise by Nobody: 7:10am On Aug 06, 2014 |
munarule: Hello wonderful people, pls I seriously need your advise. I married this man last 4yrs and God bless us with a son who is 3yrs old. Before the wedding,he was doing everything to win my heart and was also claiming to be born again by calling me every night to pray for me. Am a kind of romantic person so i allowed him to hv sex with me to know his skills on bed. I was sure that he can satisfy me on bed before I accepted his proposal cos hv vow never to allow another man hv sex with me once am married. The problem started since the day he paid my bride price,he want me to be treating him like king while he treat me like slave(though he's 11yrs older than me). He doesn't appreciate me anymore and the most annoying part of it is that he's now claiming single on fb,proposing marriage to different ladies. I no longer see him as friend and confidant,he now make love to me twice or thrice a month. am just 28 and I need to enjoy marriage. Am dying silently pls tell me what to do and pls dnt tell me to go and report him to our pastor cos hv done that several times. God bless you Seprate from him for now and leave wit ur son to an unknown destination till he comes bak to his senses 8 Likes |
Re: About To Divorce Him, Please I Need Your Advise by samonom(m): 7:36am On Aug 06, 2014 |
pls dear, dnt go for divorce, talk with him on your observation, be submissive, respect him & show him love, pray for him, it is just a phase that will go out soonest., to stop hurting yourself avoid looking at his phone. it will be alright soon tke. play d song below. a song of hope & encouragement. |
Re: About To Divorce Him, Please I Need Your Advise by kandiikane(m): 7:43am On Aug 06, 2014 |
purplesummer: Dreal1247 has almost said it all. Divorce is not a good thing, this is marriage OP and as unfortunate as it sounds, you have to stay, look after your son and continue to pray for your husband. As Dreal1247 has said, draw closer to God and take solace in Him. With this advice You are the type of woman that will suffer and continue to suffer in your marriage looking haggard and fat, praying whilst your husband continues to pummel young girls in your marital bed. Your husband is cheating, pray. Your husband beats you, pray. Your husband treats you like shit and doesn't love you, pray, God loves you. Probably the same bullshyt mentality that caused so many deaths by the Ebola virus. Rather than doing the necessary you are down on your knees praying. If you pray without action you will continue praying right down to your grave. @ op, do what's best for you. Only you know what you need and want. Don't stay to suffer just for the sake of trying to salvage the little pieces. 16 Likes |
Re: About To Divorce Him, Please I Need Your Advise by Nobody: 7:43am On Aug 06, 2014 |
Most people who have no experience in marriage will easily come online to dish advice to a married person. ![]() Most people who are married yet having no value for their marriage will also come online to advice this OP. Ishilove, chaircover, MRbrownJAY et al. Abeg come advice this OP. |
Re: About To Divorce Him, Please I Need Your Advise by Nobody: 7:44am On Aug 06, 2014 |
Kanwulia: Only one question for you.e |
Re: About To Divorce Him, Please I Need Your Advise by Kanwulia: 7:54am On Aug 06, 2014 |
munarule: This is your main problem, not your husband! ![]() An idle mind is always the devil's workshop. ![]() Blokos-SHHHHHIARRRING nor be work o! ![]() 2 Likes |
Re: About To Divorce Him, Please I Need Your Advise by Nobody: 7:58am On Aug 06, 2014 |
munarule: Hello wonderful people, pls I seriously need your advise. I married this man last 4yrs and God bless us with a son who is 3yrs old. Before the wedding,he was doing everything to win my heart and was also claiming to be born again by calling me every night to pray for me. Am a kind of romantic person so i allowed him to hv sex with me to know his skills on bed. I was sure that he can satisfy me on bed before I accepted his proposal cos hv vow never to allow another man hv sex with me once am married. The problem started since the day he paid my bride price,he want me to be treating him like king while he treat me like slave(though he's 11yrs older than me). He doesn't appreciate me anymore and the most annoying part of it is that he's now claiming single on fb,proposing marriage to different ladies. I no longer see him as friend and confidant,he now make love to me twice or thrice a month. am just 28 and I need to enjoy marriage. Am dying silently pls tell me what to do and pls dnt tell me to go and report him to our pastor cos hv done that several times. God bless you Dear friend, please I'd advice you speak to your husband, seek sound marital counselling based on your faith (religion), also learn to weigh things having to do with marriage from the lighter more positive side. I DON'T advocate for divorce because its against my faith which warns "what GOD has joined together [in marriage] let no man put asunder". I'd advice you to wait for Ishilove, chaircover and MRbrownJAY to come advice you too. Don't listen to folks pushing you to divorce they don't know the implication most probably. |
Re: About To Divorce Him, Please I Need Your Advise by Mynd44: 8:19am On Aug 06, 2014 |
samonom: pls dear, dnt go for divorce, talk with him on your observation, be submissive, respect him & show him love, pray for him, it is just a phase that will go out soonest., purplesummer: Dreal1247 has almost said it all. Divorce is not a good thing, this is marriage OP and as unfortunate as it sounds, you have to stay, look after your son and continue to pray for your husband. As Dreal1247 has said, draw closer to God and take solace in Him. I find it hard to believe that these two posted this while awake. **shrugs** 14 Likes |
Re: About To Divorce Him, Please I Need Your Advise by Nobody: 8:36am On Aug 06, 2014 |
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Re: About To Divorce Him, Please I Need Your Advise by 5minsmadness: 8:43am On Aug 06, 2014 |
Such an extremely one sided story. The man was praying for you every night. OK. Then you let him have sex with you to measure his sexual prowess. Am sure this happened more than once. If he was a playa he would have dumped you after sleeping with you. But he was serious so even after the sex he still went ahead and married you. Even did traditional, court and church wedding! That shows a responsible person. Then SUDDENLY he changed. You are 28, he is 39. I think the one you are saying he is asking you to respect him as 'king' while you are the 'slave' is an exaggeration. Do you actually accord him his respect in the house? Are you sharp-tongued? You say you don't have a job so do you take care of the house while he is away? Do you prepare his meals? Or do you sit at home all day watching africamagic? You havent said he is a drunkard or he beats you or is a useless layabout. He just changed like that? If this story is true, you have to be honest with yourself. If he is putting 'single' on his Facebook status for you to see than it probably means he is just as frustrated with the marriage as you are. Don't see a pastor, they are not marriage counsellors. Look for a real marriage counsellor or better yet if you are interested in going on with the marriage you two should sit your asses down and iron out your issues. Talk about your problems! That's what couples do! 5 Likes |
Re: About To Divorce Him, Please I Need Your Advise by Nobody: 8:50am On Aug 06, 2014 |
Kanwulia: Only one question for you. Marriage is for women the commonest mode of livelihood, and the total amount of undesired s3x endured by women is probably greater in marriage than prostitution............Bertrand Russell |
Re: About To Divorce Him, Please I Need Your Advise by Nobody: 8:51am On Aug 06, 2014 |
purplesummer: Dreal1247 has almost said it all. Divorce is not a good thing, this is marriage OP and as unfortunate as it sounds, you have to stay, look after your son and continue to pray for your husband. As Dreal1247 has said, draw closer to God and take solace in Him. samonom: pls dear, dnt go for divorce, talk with him on your observation, be submissive, respect him & show him love, pray for him, it is just a phase that will go out soonest.,This is d kind of mentaality, dat has kept us where we are as a nation; citizens dat dia sense of judgement and logical reasoning hs been flawed by stupid n baseless religious sentiments, where youths cannot come out to clamour n reach 4 d change dey need, buh will rather coward in dia closet "Praying" .. I really see no hope ( "why freedom is a gift 4rm God it must be secured by men" - obama) Also to think both of u are women n offering dis preposterous advice; to a fellow lady; n later expect a man; or will want a man to respect U in a home? If u don't think respect in a marriage should be mutual, if u don't think a woman also has a take in how a marriage should be, if u see a marriage as solely been centered on d man, while d woman swallows everything n conforms 2 anything; just to still stay put... In dis exposed age, where most women re very educated n independent (Alakija's,Iweala's)... If those re ur reasoning; in dis current age n time; den in all honesty, I think u are a total disgrace to womanhood; U should go and ask ur God 4 forgiveness.. (Repulsive comments everywhere) 16 Likes |
Re: About To Divorce Him, Please I Need Your Advise by PassingShot(m): 9:47am On Aug 06, 2014 |
Yomieluv: Here comes another pity party. Wicked you. ![]() ![]() ![]() But some sense dey there sha. |
Re: About To Divorce Him, Please I Need Your Advise by cococandy(f): 10:03am On Aug 06, 2014 |
You're an adult and should be in control of your life. Your case is not new so if you go around the section,you'll see people with similar situations like yours. Read and get tips from what posters posted there. No need to go into long posts https://www.nairaland.com/1843578/husband-already-cheating-three-3/2#25255271 There are lots more too if you look well. |
Re: About To Divorce Him, Please I Need Your Advise by MARKone(m): 10:35am On Aug 06, 2014 |
**clearsTroat** Errr....OP, a wise man once said, you cannot eat your cake and have it. **clears treat again** You said you are a romantic person, and you wanted to test your bobo's brokos and his s€x "skill" before you accept his proposal. I will assume he passed his test in flying colours(rainbow style) otherwise you won't be here lamenting on how unromantic your husband has turned out to be. My advice since ur marriage was conditional based on his s€x skills, enjoy the kpekus while it lasts, and don't 4get to treat him like a ![]() munarule: Am a kind of romantic person so i allowed him to hv sex with me to know his skills on bed. I was sure that he can satisfy me on bed before I accepted his proposal |
Re: About To Divorce Him, Please I Need Your Advise by Blockus: 10:35am On Aug 06, 2014 |
munarule: Hello wonderful people, pls I seriously need your advise. I married this man last 4yrs and God bless us with a son who is 3yrs old. Before the wedding,he was doing everything to win my heart and was also claiming to be born again by calling me every night to pray for me. Am a kind of romantic person so i allowed him to hv sex with me to know his skills on bed. I was sure that he can satisfy me on bed before I accepted his proposal cos hv vow never to allow another man hv sex with me once am married. The problem started since the day he paid my bride price,he want me to be treating him like king while he treat me like slave(though he's 11yrs older than me). He doesn't appreciate me anymore and the most annoying part of it is that he's now claiming single on fb,proposing marriage to different ladies. I no longer see him as friend and confidant,he now make love to me twice or thrice a month. am just 28 and I need to enjoy marriage. Am dying silently pls tell me what to do and pls dnt tell me to go and report him to our pastor cos hv done that several times. God bless you [b]You have no real problems from what I can see. In summary; 1. You crave more sex from your husband 2. You dont trust your husband hence you have been snooping around on his facebook page and stuff. 3. You listen to rumours cos how else would you know he has been proposing to other women?! SOLUTION.. I see no real problems here. Your husband is a flirt and that is not necessarily bad depending on your mind frame. Marriage is though. It requires a shiitload of work to keep the romance burning. Your husband being older than you by so much would naturally have a father-complex over you his 11 year old wife. You have been married for 3-Years so its only normal that the romance phase would have elapsed by now. However, you can still get back on that train if you so desire. 1. Ignore facebook messages, Twitter and all that other social network bullshit. If you are too insecure to overlook suggestive messages from him or to him, delete him from your friends or even better stop visiting his page. You need to learn how to trust in your husband all over again. STOP SNOOPING. When you start checking his facebook messages, BBM, Twitter, e.t.c, it simply means you dont trust him. I once dated a girl who was never trusting of me. She kept hounding me, snooping and spying on me both online and offline. Infact, one day she confronted me and started accusing me of cheating and all worth not and pulled out a photo of me in a club dacing with a chick who just so happened to be my bestfriends girl ![]() 2. Sex in a relationship takes two people to happen. You should be more sexually assertive. Find his trigger button, smooch your way into sex. Rape him if you have to. Create at atmosphere for sex to happen. Go buy yourself a ton of sexy negligees, lingerie, wear nice scents and fragrance and make this a habit not just for sex night but for all nights. Become a LovePeddler for your husband. Suck his diick whislt he is driving, caress his diick whilst he is watching T.V, do sexy stuff gaddammit. ![]() 3. Stop listening to gossip and get closer to your husband. Share your pains with him, share your everything with him. Basically do everything you can to keep the relationship. Change your mindset. If you want to leave, please pack your things and leave. If you want a divorce, go to the State High Court and seek legal counselling there from the multitude of Lawyers there. If you want to stay married, better up your game and put in work. In every marriage, one person works harder to carry the two, maybe in yours, this is your cross to carry. #Goodluck.[/b] 6 Likes |
Re: About To Divorce Him, Please I Need Your Advise by Nobody: 10:36am On Aug 06, 2014 |
Raymondenyi: God has answered my prayers ohhhhh. MEN are now speaking up. Men who were raised as men and not "tigers" and"dogs". They attempt to use mob mentality to rope other men into their own indiscipline rather than take responsibility for their own actions 8 Likes |
Re: About To Divorce Him, Please I Need Your Advise by Nobody: 11:01am On Aug 06, 2014 |
Blockus:Thank you beautiful people for your advises,may God continue to protect your home. hv tried begging him several times to forgive me all my wrongs(even if have offended him). I dnt ask him for money except he willingly give me. I opened his fb inbox one night when he was sleeping and i saw his erected dick picture which he sent to a girl and he was telling the girl that he will flog her very well. He doesn't show care or love to me again,dnt even care if am happy. If this is all what marriage is all about, i will keep enduring it till I breath my last cos I dnt love him anymore |
Re: About To Divorce Him, Please I Need Your Advise by Blockus: 11:10am On Aug 06, 2014 |
munarule: If you dont love him anymore... MADAM, PACK YOUR BAGS AND LEAVE. Now for you to leave your matrimonial home on the Upside; Get evidence those e-mails and texts and more. Go to the high court in your state and get advice on how to go about getting a divorce. Get a good Lawyer and let him pursue your case and get you Child Custody and 'Maintenance' (alimony).. Then voila.. Remember, Divorce takes time as a Judge would first seek out all means of reconcilation before annulling a marriage. The Main grounds for getting a divorce includes; 1. Infidelity 2. Abuse 3. Impotence 4. ................ 3 Likes |
Re: About To Divorce Him, Please I Need Your Advise by Bootybuttchic(f): 11:18am On Aug 06, 2014 |
Kanwulia:kanwulia most times u talk.....but i think you lack intelligence ![]() 8 Likes |
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