Bonjelomo:
Bro!

Na u get ur pikin, according to Naija's Child Rights Law!
B'olode o ku, ojude re o le wu koriko..l'ai ku egiri, ko si baba eni to le f'awo e se gbedu!

I don't understand how your state manages child's welfare issues. But over here in Lagos, the odds are in YOUR FAVOUR.

The case is called Access Denial. It is usually handled at ZERO COST. You don't even need any damn lawyer.

Walk down to the Child Rights/Welfare office. Make a case.

Dem no born dem well make them no show up with ur pikin.

You will be given ACCESS RIGHTS at your desired venue. Most likely 2 hours, 2ce every months, u go just gatz buy Jedi for the Officer wey go dey in charge. lols.

But be ready to pay the regular monthly upkeep, cos the office of child's welfare office doesn't play with that.

As a female child, when the child is 5, she will start following u home for weekends.

Baba u are the winner here.

When ur child is 7, u will apply to get her Custody. All you need to prove is Responsibility. Lobatan!

I swear, just negodu...na u get ur pikin.

iloputaife:


What I wrote up there is merely what I consider a brief summary so as not to make the story unduly long...

I will have you know that I paid a significant portion of the medical expenses despite the fact that she knew of the medical condition she had but chose to hide it from me.

You certainly do not expert me to give you a rundown of all the moneys I spent on my daughter but if you must know I bore the costs of her diapers, naming ceremony, birthday parties, clothes, shoes etc.

Please do not make hasty assumptions and refrain from calling me names otherwise you would find out that this forum is not as anonymous as you think!

Kidaholic:
That family isn't the right place for your daughter, they would raise her to be a father-hating type. It's quite understandable for your baby mama to be rude to you but for her own mother to be in total support of her is rather disappointing, just go for the legal case after all the child is also yours as well as hers.

TEYA:

And who mentioned domestic abuse here? Or are you naturally wired to believe every woman is a victim of domestic violence? Lol no court will deny a man the right to seè his child. Even where the father is violent, he will still be granted the liberty of meeting the children in a secure environment. She may have custody but it is his right to see his child. Dey there dey decieve yourself.

TEYA:

And who mentioned domestic abuse here? Or are you naturally wired to believe every woman is a victim of domestic violence? Lol no court will deny a man the right to seè his child. Even where the father is violent, he will still be granted the liberty of meeting the children in a secure environment. She may have custody but it is his right to see his child. Dey there dey decieve yourself.

1two3:


You are a Fool, did the OP require any financial aid from you

realtalk19:



welfare office in ikorodu is crap,I confided in them when I wanted child support and after sending letter of invitation 2wice to him.he Neva showed up.only to be told I av to wait till whenever he decides to show up or I settle tins wit him in peace cos there is nothing they can do since he refused to show up.i got relly pissed off and dissapointed.

as long as the man isn't responsible and contributing anytin then he has no business asking me to agree with him on when to see his child.he shuld wait till the child is 18yrs then the child decides.

( I agree only responsible father's shuld be allowed access to their kids peacefully. Both parents shuld reach an agreement concerning the child's welfare not feelings between them)

SUPERPACK:
i blame your dad for not using condom the day they made a fool like you.

realtalk19:



welfare office in ikorodu is crap,I confided in them when I wanted child support and after sending letter of invitation 2wice to him.he Neva showed up.only to be told I av to wait till whenever he decides to show up or I settle tins wit him in peace cos there is nothing they can do since he refused to show up.i got relly pissed off and dissapointed.

as long as the man isn't responsible and contributing anytin then he has no business asking me to agree with him on when to see his child.he shuld wait till the child is 18yrs then the child decides.

( I agree only responsible father's shuld be allowed access to their kids peacefully. Both parents shuld reach an agreement concerning the child's welfare not feelings between them)

realtalk19:



welfare office in ikorodu is crap,I confided in them when I wanted child support and after sending letter of invitation 2wice to him.he Neva showed up.only to be told I av to wait till whenever he decides to show up or I settle tins wit him in peace cos there is nothing they can do since he refused to show up.i got relly pissed off and dissapointed.

as long as the man isn't responsible and contributing anytin then he has no business asking me to agree with him on when to see his child.he shuld wait till the child is 18yrs then the child decides.

( I agree only responsible father's shuld be allowed access to their kids peacefully. Both parents shuld reach an agreement concerning the child's welfare not feelings between them)

grandstar:


I'm a firm supporter of Justice and for some reason, this isn't Justice but conquest.

He should sit down and talk to the woman and see if a marriage can work. He should suggest it to her and see her reaction. If she seems kin on it, that's some progress. He should even go ahead and pay the bride price.

However, all parties must work on resolving all hurt feelings. The man must open up about how her parents have hurt his feelings and they too must open up and see closure. All must be ready to truly forgive and move on.

If there's a dramatic change in the lady's behavior and she becomes loving, respectful and submissive, then he should go ahead and formalise the marriage by registering it in court. Bride price isn't marriage under constitution(Read Titus 3:1)

What is best for all 3 parties (the child most importantly) is marriage. I'm sure they'll all be happy, most important the founder Jehovah to whom every family in heaven and on Earth owes it's name!

NevetsIbot:


What nonsense are you spewing here. the thread is about a man who wants to see his child and has been denied of that right and you are here talking about the only thing your tiny feminist mind can process.

Aunty!! Dating might or may not lead to marriage... Get that into your dull brain.

Op sir... If someone was withholding me from seeing my own baby girl.. I'd rain hell on her and her family. Go the legal way and make them bend!!!!

keepingmum:
Your child has been supported since birth by her grandparents.
They provide shelter, feeding, clothes and education for her yet you are on a sosha media doing instagram daddy, buying ribena, biscuit and indomie once in 2 years and you think that makes you a daddy??


Whether you are in good terms with the mothet or not, your child will eat everyday, her diapers will be changed everyday, the house will need electricity and she will use water to bath, drink , for her clothes to be washed.
She ll need vaccines, coughs and colds which children often contract need to be treated yet you are sitting on your high horse, as a proud anambra man: complaining that they didnt respect you.
Please does respect pay those bills above?

Why didnt you use your highly regarded state respect to pay her delivery bills in hospital? Or use it for her feeding?

Did you take over paying her tuition in the Sept following April she started sch since your gross is the timing?

Have you bern supporting financially with bank records to proove it monthly since she was born? Or because the mother didnt dance to your tune as the self crowned Anambra Prince that you are , a child you call your own should starve and be homeless cos daddy aint happy with mummy and her grandparents?

Oga go and see your lawyer ohh, cos you have a long way to go and proof before you ll be considered fit enough for joint physical custody

Bonjelomo:


Don't twist it!

The father of the child has equal rights to the latter, just as d mother does.

This will foster the proper development of the child.

The child's rights office will ensure this!

Bonjelomo:


If the father of the child refuses to show up, then apply to the family court, via the office of Child's right.

Child's right whether denial of responsibilities or access denial is a serious LEGAL mater in Nigeria.

Don't confuse the OP.

He has full access to his daughter ANYTIME ANYDAY, even b4 d child is 18.

He she just be ready to take responsibilities as a father

iloputaife:
It’s a long story but I will try to keep it brief.
About 6 years ago I dated a lady from Delta State from the Urhobo tribe. Along the line she got pregnant.
Although the relationship did not end in marriage I did not at any time deny responsibility for her pregnancy and I went with my mother to see her father when he requested a meeting

Due to a serious medical condition she had the pregnancy was a very difficult one but she eventually had a beautiful healthy baby girl. She spent a total of 32 days in the hospital and run up a bill of over N1 million which was eventually paid with some help from her family.
Due to her prolonged stay in hospital she was forced to resign from her job but she was lucky to get another job several months later.
After the baby was born she continued living with her parents cos I was still adamant I was not going to marry her however, I was seriously willing to give it serious reconsideration.

What made me suspend the decision to formalize our relationship was that I noticed that she was becoming unnecessarily rude and insultive to me.
I will give an instance, there was this one time she called me on a Wednesday while I was at the library preparing for a professional exam to tell me that the baby’s provisions had finished and that I should send some money and I said I wasn’t going to send any money cos I had previously sent money about 2 or 3 days before; the next thing she did was to start raining insults on me on the phone.
Later that weekend on Saturday I went to visit her and our baby at her parents house and after I had sat down in the living room her mother accosted me and said “I no like the way way you dey talk to my daughter” and just as I was getting ready to defend myself this lady flared up and started shouting “you’re crazy, You’re crazy, stupid man” etc.
I immediately stood up and made to take my leave and much to my surprise this lady followed me out of the house into the compound raining insults on me.

While all this was going on her mother was present but she did not make any effort to ask her to stop. I found this very intriguing and shocking at the same time cos I am from the eastern part of Nigeria, Anambra state and where I come from no woman will stand by and watch her daughter insult her husband or father of her child.
This happened about 6 months after our daughter was born and she was lying on the sofa in the living room when it happened.

I should emphasize here the lady in question is a well spoken and relatively well exposed graduate and not some lay about but it just so happens that for some reason pigin English is the lingua franca in most Niger Delta homes.
I stayed away for over 3 months after this incident happened but I was surprised when I eventually went back and her father did not bother to ask me why I stayed away for so long.

Things continued this way until our daughter was a little over 2 years old and was about to start school.
We had a discussion and agreed that she should start school in September of that year, however, I was surprised when all of a sudden my baby mama’s mother came out of the blues and said that our daughter should be enrolled to start school in April and I kicked against it since it was not the original plan and I was not ready to let her dictate to me how to run my affairs.
They enrolled her in April and paid the fees since I said I would stick with the original plan.

From then on our relationship soured further and I stopped visiting altogether but my mother who incidentally is quite fond of the lady continued to visit them until eventually she too stopped cos they made her feel unwelcome through subtle body language.
Please note that prior to the breakdown in our relationship I had always been involved in my daughter’s life, I went to the hospital the day she was born, I participated at her christening, then her first and second birthday parties.
One of my mother’s complaints was that whenever she visits they will be making comments in their language while she’s seated there with them.
Much later after our daughter started school I sent some money for the payment of my daughter’s school fees and my baby mama sent the money back to my account and as a result I just ignored and left her to her own devices.
Much later after I had stayed away for a while I decided to open an education fund account for our daughter and I was told to bring her passport photograph and a copy of her birth certificate.

I asked her mother to send me a copy of her birth certificate and she refused and as a result I could not open the account.
About 2 or 3 months after this incident when schools were on a long holiday she decided to take our daughter on holidays to the United Arab Emirates and part of the requirements was that the father must sign a Consent Form cos our daughter bears my surname; when she called and told me about it I agreed to sign it on the condition that she would give me a copy of our daughter’s birth certificate.
I went to their house, gave them a copy of the bio data page of my international passport and signed the forms on the assumption that I was dealing with someone with integrity.

After about 1 week she still had not sent me a copy of the birth certificate as agreed so I sent her a reminder on WhatsApp and she blocked my number immediately.
As a result of this I suspended all communication with her until I was about to leave Lagos for an engagement which lasted about 2 years.
Before I left I bought some cartons of biscuits and packs of Ribena fruits drinks which our daughter would take to school as refreshments.
When I got there her parents were very hostile and almost refused accepting the stuff but I left them in their compound after they had been offloaded from the car.

There are some other incidences which I have omitted for brevity.

Now the issues is that want to see my daughter but I have no desire to visit them at home.
I sent a text message to my baby mama to request to see my daughter in a public place of her choice and she ignored it.

I want to further pursue this matter legally but I want to know if there are further remedial actions I can take before I resort to this.

I am willing to explore other means first cos if I go the legal route then there is no turning back for me no matter the cost or inconvenience.

Once I start legal process on the matter I will not look back until we get to the logical conclusion of this matter.

I want people who are experienced in child custody cases to give me their opinion.

Please move this to front page:-

realtalk19:


so u expect me to kip wasting my precious time chasing shadows. a man just wants access to the child and no contribution at all. such man doesn't av shame and dignity.

the op side of story still doesn't justify the story.the other side is needed to conclude..

I still stand on no access to the child u av no responsibility on until the child is 18yrs. don't just type and feel u ar right till u find ur self in the same situation

realtalk19:


do u mean an irresponsible and violent father? what proper development ar u talking about? when a child is likely to be psychologically damaged when witnessing violent scenes.

welfare office in ikorodu is ineffective and I say this because I was dissapointed with their actions.except u av money or connection.

plz stick to what u know not what u Havnt been tru

Noblefirstlady:
But some people are wicked sha . This is your own side of the story and I'm still weeping for the lady. Imagine what will happen if I hear her own part of the story.

realtalk19:


so u expect me to kip wasting my precious time chasing shadows. a man just wants access to the child and no contribution at all. such man doesn't av shame and dignity.

the op side of story still doesn't justify the story.the other side is needed to conclude..

I still stand on no access to the child u av no responsibility on until the child is 18yrs. don't just type and feel u ar right till u find ur self in the same situation

tunjilana:
Oga...U have every right as much as she has...but cos of the age of the child, no court will grant u custody except u can prove the mother is unfit(insanity, prostitution e.t.c.)

......

Marriage or bride price has nothing to do wity child access in front of the law...Just sue for Access denial...and even if she claims u are not the father, tue court will order a DNA and once proven...U will be given visitation right and right to decision making...it is 2 of u involved not parents...as far as tge law is concerned...


Be that as it may...It is necessary to workout peace between U and her and her parents...mostly for tye sake of ur child...hostility and toxic environment wont help ....I am not saying oay bride price or marry her ooo...Pls dont put urself in danger...anyone with resentment in them can harm U ...so diplomatically seek peace....leave petty fights...appeal to her emotions...act stupis if need be ...but use the law to get what u want and afterwards infor.ally seek peace... Then go get urself a good woman so u can have a family to raise ur child....cos las las as d child grows he will still come home....Just b a good and committed man...buy gifts for him...put your child on trips...make the child consistently ask the mom about U...maximise every time to make an impact with him

....

Kidaholic:


Wasn't his mom visiting back then when they (parent and child) would be side talking with their language and giving his mom awful body language? As a matured parent that they ought to be, couldn't they have told her what the problem is?

Honestly, its very disappointing from the lady's parent and I think that pursuing this legally is the best

walcut:
So how does this help op?

lefulefu:
not if d mother and grandmother spoil her mind about d father.

realtalk19:



seeing his child will surely be when the child is 18yrs. especially when he's irresponsible. u are the one who is deceived because u avnt been Tru such circumstance.u ar just giving a blind opinion

Melian:


You're still speculating? Me I'm certain op is a mad man. Only a mad man will impregnate a lady and dump her like a piece of furniture. "I don't want to marry her but I want access to my daughter". He's mad o. Is this how his mother brought him up? Without a father? If op is from a broken home, perhaps I'll empathise with him. Otherwise, he doesn't deserve to use his eyes see pussy ever again, let alone touch it.

You don't impregnate a woman and dump her. It's evil. Single mothers face stigmatisation. If you know she isn't worthy, don't Bleep it. If you must Bleep it use a condom.