Heritagee:
Almost everybody saw it as being heartless and irresponsible then but she needed to do it to support her husband who was studying then. The boy was left with a grandma and her niece who did excellent even more than what the mother would have done . After all, he joined his parents after 4 months.
It is not easy for any mother to leave her child/ren. I left my 4-year old boy with my mum and I still feel terrible about it, cried for days after my arrival but it's for better. Na condition dey make crayfish bend o my brother, no mother will be happy to leave her child/ren in the care of someone else

That will not be a difficult decision for an irresponsible mother.

Mothers have this unique bond with their babies which nobody else can replicate or even replace especially at that tender age.

To hell with that foreign education if my baby will be left behind, how on earth will you even sleep with your two eyes closed if that baby is not next to you?

You people keep going on about sacrifices and hard decisions..let me ask you this..will anybody die if you don't travel abroad that year?

justwise:


Quite frankly I don't think you get me and you are mixing two issues together here, leaving a two months baby to travel abroad for studies is cruel and irresponsible, yes it's not against immigration rule but it's against humanity.

I did not advise the lady against traveling to join the husband, I was only telling her to wait abit as job is hard to come by now in the UK and that I can't think of any justifiable reasons why those 3 young kids should be left behind.

You can't make a sacrifice in detriment of your own kids, yes I know some Nigerians who left their kids in Nigeria or send them back to school in Nigeria but those kids are fully formed young adults and not babies who can barely walk let a lone talk.

“He who wears the hat, knows where it pinches”

justwise:


That will not be a difficult decision for an irresponsible mother.

Mothers have this unique bond with their babies which nobody else can replicate or even replace especially at that tender age.

To hell with that foreign education if my baby will be left behind, how on earth will you even sleep with your two eyes closed if that baby is not next to you?

You people keep going on about sacrifices and hard decisions..let me ask you this..will anybody die if you don't travel abroad that year?

Tell them loud and clear.
What irresponsibility!
To travel abroad no be by force.
Situations are hard, Why didn't u plan ahead?
Leave children out of this.
Are u really sure those children are ok psychologically?

Nothing, I mean nothing moulds an adult as his childhood yrs.
Those yrs mum and daddy would have been there, they weren't. The resentment lives forever.
Hatred breeds. We Nigerians should learn child psychology.

When my husband travelled out and we didn't join some months after like we planned, it was hectic for me and the kids.
Sometimes, my first child will start crying that his daddy has left him and not coming back again. With all the promises his dad made. He will be excited 2 days and all will be well, the next day we will start all over again.
(It wasn't about the money as they don't lack anything)
What do u tell a kid like that? Do u know what is building up already? He at least expressed himself. What of those that can't and have it all bottled up to latter become a juvenile delinquent.
Sometimes we ask what we did wrong that made the children turn out they way they did but this is one of the major reasons.
The feeling of abandonment.

The man is still atoning for his sins.

There is no difference between the person who abandoned her 2 months old to travel out from Nigerian politicians. The same mentality. Transferred down to the kids and the cycle continues and here we are, still seeking greener pastures outside the shores of Nigeria when we can't even be humane.

Parenting Lecture 101......... Front seat for me, please........

RalphJean:

No matter what Standard is used for measurement. Infact, even if there is no standard. Let’s call a spade a spade. It is inhuman and irresponsible for a parent to leave a 2-month old baby (nay, NEONATE) to go hustle.
It’s not fair on the little one.

others will say let call a spade . Anyone who left one , two or more children in nigeria is very irresponsible. Since the parent brought them to the world both should have ensured to relocate at the same time. Instead of splitting the family ... children less than 10 are in their formative years so should not be deprived or seperated from their parents . It was unfair to the child. How could someone do that. How dear the parent. Really irresponsible... hiss . In fact stupid parents

You see how hurtful and judgemental that is... it easy to judge others .

When in fact is not easy for any parent to leave a child be it 2 months or 10 years. Leave is leave but they do it for whatever reason. some will even say it best to leave a smaller baby with your mum and plan to take the child as soon as you can. What a 2 month going to remember when they are 2 years. Others will say the older the child is the more resentment and other issues can occur whem u relocate the child back. There is no clear cut in these things . My friend who left her 4 months i saw her cry nightly. She almost had a mental breakdown but that was the sacrifice they choose to go through as a family. The boy who is no longer a baby remembers absolutely nothing about nigeria and for them it paid off .

Let the parents be the judge of how they manage their family . It not an easy decision to make... no parent choose to do it. I actually salute those who do it for a short while they settle

justwise:


Call it judgmental or whichever name you like I'm cool with it but my point still remain that a 2 month old baby should not be treated that way.

How will you keep in touch with a two month old baby as a mother? You can't call to speak to him/her, you can't even do video call because that little baby will not recognise you.

This has very little to do with Nigerian condition but a lot to do with a flawed decision.

Hello mr justwise.. I sent you an email yesterday.. Please can you kindly check your mail box and reply. Thankyou

Soso98:

Hello mr justwise.. I sent you an email yesterday.. Please can you kindly check your mail box and reply. Thankyou

Justwise does not respond to emails...... Post the matter opendentially............

Bujebudanu1, wetin you dey find for here?....

Lexusgs430:
Bujebudanu1, wetin you dey find for here?....

As you can see on my profile, my most frequent section is the travel section.


I like travel experiences /stories cos am hoping to take that step someday and very soon


Back to your question.na d discussion carry me come here.i like tatafo too much

I no dey enter the UK thread.cos me no like Dem .one bit.na d reason u no dey see me here

I like life experiences alot my bro.make I no wetin to expect

bujebudanu1:


As you can see on my profile, my most frequent section is the travel section.


I like travel experiences /stories cos am hoping to take that step someday and very soon


Back to your question.na d discussion carry me come here.i like tatafo too much

I no dey enter the UK thread.cos me no like Dem .one bit.na d reason u no dey see me here

I like life experiences alot my bro.make I no wetin to expect

I feel you Bro...... Travelling they say is another form of education + orientation............

Shawtykel:
Happy Valentine to this wonderful family..

Please I have an issue that's bothering me and I'll need an advice whether to go ahead or not.
My husband is in UK on a tier 4 visa, we have three kids.
Can I apply alone and come back to pick my kids after we've been able to save up hopefully in three months?
Are there implications to this of not taking my kids @ the moment?
Any case like mine ever? Just wondering

P.S my kids are 4years and 2years old twins

In response to some of your questions, I really do not know much concerning a Tier 4 visa, but I do know you can very well apply alone and come back for your children later. Except changes have been made to the application process, I did not see where a question was asked about why you wouldn't be traveling with your child/ren.
And yes there are loads of instances like yours.
All the best

I would not support leaving children behind in the first instance, irrespective of their ages but having been in such position myself, I can tell you that it is not an easy task, especially when there are many variables to factor in. Is it a pleasant thing to do, absolutely not... But I know it will be worth it for me!!!

People are entitled to their opinions but I would rather allow individual parents to be the decision makers in their family.

No mother would want to leave her child/ren behind but then it happens.

I understand where you are going to and how you are feeling. In 2017 i was given a tier 4 visa but my son was refused. I couldn't go without him,the thoughts of it made me sick. I had no other option than to curtail my visa. So is painful for a mother leaving her children behind.

justwise:


That will not be a difficult decision for an irresponsible mother.

Mothers have this unique bond with their babies which nobody else can replicate or even replace especially at that tender age.

To hell with that foreign education if my baby will be left behind, how on earth will you even sleep with your two eyes closed if that baby is not next to you?

You people keep going on about sacrifices and hard decisions..let me ask you this..will anybody die if you don't travel abroad that year?

Hello all,

Please I need your advise on this. If a person who has been to the UK on several occasions, has had a student visa, 6months visas on 3 occasions, 2 years once, and then renewed a 6months visa. coz the person planned a visit around the time and couldn’t afford a 2years or more visa. Unfortunately, the person couldn’t go on the planned trip after obtaining visa for some reasons. So, the visa ran out without using it.
Now, the person wants to apply for a tier 2 work visa, do you think the non usage of the last visa of 6months will have any effect on this visa application. Is there a need to explain the non usage of the visa in this application?

MamaTheMama:
Hello all,

Please I need your advise on this. If a person who has been to the UK on several occasions, has had a student visa, 6months visas on 3 occasions, 2 years once, and then renewed a 6months visa. coz the person planned a visit around the time and couldn’t afford a 2years or more visa. Unfortunately, the person couldn’t go on the planned trip after obtaining visa for some reasons. So, the visa ran out without using it.
Now, the person wants to apply for a tier 2 work visa, do you think the non usage of the last visa of 6months will have any effect on this visa application. Is there a need to explain the non usage of the visa in this application?

Not using a visa issued is not a ground for refusal. I believe it's just something some Nigerians cooked up.

Oga Lexus,

My sister is filling a uk visit visa application form. There’s a part that asked what permission her relative (me) possesses to be in the UK: permanent or temporary.

I got my uk spousal visa last year. Is my visa temp or perm?

Aphrodite007:
Oga Lexus,

My sister is filling a uk visit visa application form. There’s a part that asked what permission her relative (me) possesses to be in the UK: permanent or temporary.

I got my uk spousal visa last year. Is my visa temp or perm?

Temporary

Aphrodite007:
Oga Lexus,

My sister is filling a uk visit visa application form. There’s a part that asked what permission her relative (me) possesses to be in the UK: permanent or temporary.

I got my uk spousal visa last year. Is my visa temp or perm?

Only ILR and British passport will be perm / settled status.... any other are classified as temporary

Aphrodite007:
Oga Lexus,

My sister is filling a uk visit visa application form. There’s a part that asked what permission her relative (me) possesses to be in the UK: permanent or temporary.

I got my uk spousal visa last year. Is my visa temp or perm?

Temporary, because it is subject to curtailment restrictions..........

LagosismyHome:


I looked at the official document and it doesn't state that spouse dependant must apply with children. It states dependant can apply together or separately

If your kids are in goods hands i think you can go ahead and submit your application. Just ensure you meet all the requirements

@LagosismyHome, thanks a lot for this

Heritagee:
I don't think you need to explain why you are not applying with the kids. I know of someone who left a 2-month old baby to join her husband. The baby joined them when he was 6 months

Wow!! 2 months and I'm already feeling guilty leaving my 4 and 2 years old behind.. Well, as long as the child is in safe hands and better care, it shouldn't be a problem.. Like a lot of people said here, circumstances are different and one wouldn't know how difficult it was for her to make such a decision..
In the end, it paid off as all family are residents in US.. Thank God for her.
Thanks a lot @Heritagee

justwise:


That is heartless and irresponsible

Sir @justwise you wouldn't understand the situation until you find yourself in one..
People don't just wake up to such decisions.. Trust me it's really a hard one but then knowing this hustle is been done for them for a better future and passport, would make you consider the latter.
Thanks a lot

Shawtykel:


Sir @justwise you wouldn't understand the situation until you find yourself in one..
People don't just wake up to such decisions.. Trust me it's really a hard one but then knowing this hustle is been done for them for a better future and passport, would make you consider the latter.
Thanks a lot

Those thugs in street of London stabbing each other to death daily all have British passport of PR still hundreds are 6fit down now and one thing lacking is parental responsibility.

adesbaba:





Thanks sir...but how do you see business courses in U.K with respect to employment

There are jobs for business courses, only that, Non-EU requires knowing the rightful channel to get these jobs. Honestly, as a student who seeks employment after graduation should start as early as possible, and shouldn't narrow their job search to a particular professional field.

Just wondering. I'm on a tier 2 visa and 2yrs+ in the UK. Just had a baby girl.Thank you! Thank you. I wanted to get her as dependent on my visa, but then i am hearing i don't necessarily need to get a visa. That i can wait till i get my ILR and perhaps file for her then.... The rumor goes on to imply, if she will not be travelling, i can just register her and no need for Dependent status. Can anybody verify this for me please?

please Seniors, between Eastbourne and Leicestershire which is more affordable and family friendly
cc
justwise
Lexusgs430
fatima0

zeezaa:
please Seniors, between Eastbourne and Leicestershire which is more affordable and family friendly
cc
justwise
Lexsusgs430
fatima0

Peterboroughshire

DaveChapelle:
Just wondering. I'm on a tier 2 visa and 2yrs+ in the UK. Just had a baby girl.Thank you! Thank you. I wanted to get her as dependent on my visa, but then i am hearing i don't necessarily need to get a visa. That i can wait till i get my ILR and perhaps file for her then.... The rumor goes on to imply, if she will not be travelling, i can just register her and no need for Dependent status. Can anybody verify this for me please?

Congrats, you finally gave your babe belle.
You do not need to apply for here as long as she will not leave the country.
My child went straight to citizenship after one of us got ILR.

DaveChapelle:
Just wondering. I'm on a tier 2 visa and 2yrs+ in the UK. Just had a baby girl.Thank you! Thank you. I wanted to get her as dependent on my visa, but then i am hearing i don't necessarily need to get a visa. That i can wait till i get my ILR and perhaps file for her then.... The rumor goes on to imply, if she will not be travelling, i can just register her and no need for Dependent status. Can anybody verify this for me please?

Technically as far as the child doesnt travel this is doable as i know a couple of people doing this..

however that means u cant even go on family holiday in europe or naija trips.

justwise:


That is heartless and irresponsible

Hmmm, I second that.

That child should still be breastfeeding.

dustydee:

Congrats, you finally gave your babe belle.
You do not need to apply for here as long as she will not leave the country.
My child went straight to citizenship after one of us got ILR.

Was test driving the Car, scratched it, so had to buy it innit!