Hi ,I rly need some advice on what to do with me and my mothers relationship.

Since my childhood I knew my mother never really favored me it was always my elder sister.I have 2 sisters one is younger and the other is older than me. Three years ago I got married and and just gave birth last year anyways I always knew my mom disliked me for some reason even tho I was the most obedient to her than my other sister which I never reallyyy understood! On so many occasions they have disrespected her in public talked back and hurt her feelings to the point where she sobs and sobs and theres me always comforting her and by her side but she treats me like I'm not there!

anyways my elder sister got married again (shes a divorcee) and moved to a third world country , it was a love marriage and my mom was unhappy with their marriage she didnt want her to live there but her husband earns enough to give her a comfortable life but still my mom was very unhappy as she was her favorite daughter she always wanted her to get married to our far relatives son whose from the u.k, but instead I did ,but not to the same guy my mom wanted for my sister but my husband too is a far relative. anyways last year when I gave birth my mother and my younger sister came to help with the baby ,I just gave birth and I was extremely deprived of sleep so one night she told me to get some rest and they will stay up with the baby ,I slept for good 3 hours when I woke up to the crying of my baby I stood up and went to check before I went inside the room

I heard my mom say to my sister how she wishes the life iam living for my elder sister instead how she wishes it was the opposite and that iam not fit for this life or deserving I obviously was shocked and backed away never mentioned it to her acted like nothing happened I was confused sad angry why not me? Iam I also not her daughter? I still dont understand to this day!

I always send her money, buy her gifts take her outisde take loans from my husband to give it to her when she needs money always treat her like the most important person in my life! I was very very confused to the point I started having thoughts of me not being her biological daughter ,when I was young she would never praise anything that I do I use to make her favorite dish she would not say anything or find faults in it on another occasion when I started getting good grades she would tell me do u think ur smart now? Instead of praising me cuz that's what parents do right


I still love her to death and just wish she showed me a little bit of compassion I dont dare ask her why do you dislike me what have I ever done to you!

Please help me understand I'm desperate.am I overthinking? How do I handle this?

Daniaramiz34:
Hi ,I rly need some advice on what to do with me and my mothers relationship.

Since my childhood I knew my mother never really favored me it was always my elder sister.I have 2 sisters one is younger and the other is older than me. Three years ago I got married and and just gave birth last year anyways I always knew my mom disliked me for some reason even tho I was the most obedient to her than my other sister which I never reallyyy understood! On so many occasions they have disrespected her in public talked back and hurt her feelings to the point where she sobs and sobs and theres me always comforting her and by her side but she treats me like I'm not there!

anyways my elder sister got married again (shes a divorcee) and moved to a third world country , it was a love marriage and my mom was unhappy with their marriage she didnt want her to live there but her husband earns enough to give her a comfortable life but still my mom was very unhappy as she was her favorite daughter she always wanted her to get married to our far relatives son whose from the u.k, but instead I did ,but not to the same guy my mom wanted for my sister but my husband too is a far relative. anyways last year when I gave birth my mother and my younger sister came to help with the baby ,I just gave birth and I was extremely deprived of sleep so one night she told me to get some rest and they will stay up with the baby ,I slept for good 3 hours when I woke up to the crying of my baby I stood up and went to check before I went inside the room

I heard my mom say to my sister how she wishes the life iam living for my elder sister instead how she wishes it was the opposite and that iam not fit for this life or deserving I obviously was shocked and backed away never mentioned it to her acted like nothing happened I was confused sad angry why not me? Iam I also not her daughter? I still dont understand to this day!

I always send her money, buy her gifts take her outisde take loans from my husband to give it to her when she needs money always treat her like the most important person in my life! I was very very confused to the point I started having thoughts of me not being her biological daughter ,when I was young she would never praise anything that I do I use to make her favorite dish she would not say anything or find faults in it on another occasion when I started getting good grades she would tell me do u think ur smart now? Instead of praising me cuz that's what parents do right


I still love her to death and just wish she showed me a little bit of compassion I dont dare ask her why do you dislike me what have I ever done to you!

Please help me understand I'm desperate.am I overthinking? How do I handle this?

She's your mother. You treat her as she is supposed to be treated.. Do your best but never make yourself uncomfortable to please her..


Expect your reward for been good to her from your Creator..



...
And, be careful.. . Don't divulge your secrets to her nor tell her about your family issues.. Take care of your family yourself and like I said, be careful...


Love her, treat her well and be very careful.. be careful.. be careful..




Ignore her tantrums and live a good happy life. Don't bother yourself about her loving you or not.. you loving her is what matters

Upper101:
Please Read below

Mynd44 ... Violence of rule 18

Is it also impossible to stay away from her? Please answer me

It is naive to stay away from your mum without understanding the reason (s) behind her impartial and depraved indifference to you. I urge you to cheerfully and resolutely confront her; have a heart-to-heart discussion with her. You have already alluded she may not be your biological mother. It is a possibility. Still, you must talk to her because you are no longer a baby. If possible, tell her you heard her express displeasure about the marital bliss and harmony you enjoy. What a mother she is!

She's not your biological mother.

You must be careful with your personal activities with her.

donstan18:

Why you no go church today?

Not everyone will love you. The main thing is to love yourself.
If your relationship with your mum is causing you heartache, perhaps you abandon that relationship for a while and cut her out of your life. At least till you're able to resolve the emotions and well earned distrust you have of your mother
Learn to love yourself ,and ignore your haters.

Chronicles of a middle child.
I can relate to your story.
As sad as it is there is nothing you can do about it. Love her but don't live your life to please her

eyinjuege:
Not everyone will love you. The main thing is to love yourself.
If your relationship with your mum is causing you heartache, perhaps you abandon that relationship for a while and cut her out of your life. At least till you're able to resolve the emotions and well earned distrust you have of your mother
Learn to love yourself ,and ignore your haters.

I think she is your mum, maybe you probably look like your dad. Does she have a good relationship with your father? This may be the reason.

Daniaramiz34:
Hi ,I rly need some advice on what to do with me and my mothers relationship.

Since my childhood I knew my mother never really favored me it was always my elder sister.I have 2 sisters one is younger and the other is older than me. Three years ago I got married and and just gave birth last year anyways I always knew my mom disliked me for some reason even tho I was the most obedient to her than my other sister which I never reallyyy understood! On so many occasions they have disrespected her in public talked back and hurt her feelings to the point where she sobs and sobs and theres me always comforting her and by her side but she treats me like I'm not there!

anyways my elder sister got married again (shes a divorcee) and moved to a third world country , it was a love marriage and my mom was unhappy with their marriage she didnt want her to live there but her husband earns enough to give her a comfortable life but still my mom was very unhappy as she was her favorite daughter she always wanted her to get married to our far relatives son whose from the u.k, but instead I did ,but not to the same guy my mom wanted for my sister but my husband too is a far relative. anyways last year when I gave birth my mother and my younger sister came to help with the baby ,I just gave birth and I was extremely deprived of sleep so one night she told me to get some rest and they will stay up with the baby ,I slept for good 3 hours when I woke up to the crying of my baby I stood up and went to check before I went inside the room

I heard my mom say to my sister how she wishes the life iam living for my elder sister instead how she wishes it was the opposite and that iam not fit for this life or deserving I obviously was shocked and backed away never mentioned it to her acted like nothing happened I was confused sad angry why not me? Iam I also not her daughter? I still dont understand to this day!

I always send her money, buy her gifts take her outisde take loans from my husband to give it to her when she needs money always treat her like the most important person in my life! I was very very confused to the point I started having thoughts of me not being her biological daughter ,when I was young she would never praise anything that I do I use to make her favorite dish she would not say anything or find faults in it on another occasion when I started getting good grades she would tell me do u think ur smart now? Instead of praising me cuz that's what parents do right


I still love her to death and just wish she showed me a little bit of compassion I dont dare ask her why do you dislike me what have I ever done to you!

Please help me understand I'm desperate.am I overthinking? How do I handle this?

my mum acts more worse than yours and obviously in my face. do what makes u happy with wisdom and in all love and forgive without expecting anytin in return. she still remains ur mum.she will surely face reality one day and ask for your forgiveness.

Smh....... Women in every ramification are always needlessly weird!!

Lol you are married and with your husband and still desiring the love of a foolish woman that doesn’t love you one bit

My own mother never sent me to school but sent my younger sis to school, gave her pocket money. Inlived with different uncles and aunties, till o was 23 when I rented my first apartment. I even first my sis do Nysc. Look for your happiness ignore idiots. My mum is an idiot. I deleted her memory long ago

It's impossible for a mother to hate or dislike her biological daughter like that, something is wrong somewhere.

She may not be your real mother, stop forcing yourself on her and drawing her close to you. Take care of her but give her some distance before she uses African magic to frustrate ur life as she wished

mrblessed:
It is naive to stay away from your mum without understanding the reason (s) behind her impartial and depraved indifference to you. I urge you to cheerfully and resolutely confront her; have a heart-to-heart discussion with her. You have already alluded she may not be your biological mother. It is a possibility. Still, you must talk to her because you are no longer a baby. If possible, tell her you heard her express displeasure about the marital bliss and harmony you enjoy. What a mother she is!

what a useless advice

It's like cinderalla story...apart from the child birth... I'm guessing you are the sensitive type.. Just hit "I don't care button" and u will be just fine

eyinjuege:
Not everyone will love you. The main thing is to love yourself.
If your relationship with your mum is causing you heartache, perhaps you abandon that relationship for a while and cut her out of your life. At least till you're able to resolve the emotions and well earned distrust you have of your mother
Learn to love yourself ,and ignore your haters.

Gospel truth, I use to be in her shoes, if not that I look like my dad and have my mum's skin color, I wouldn't have believed they are my parents, Op grow thick skin and develop an I don't care attitude, you don't need validation from anyone for your existence, do your thing and live your life for yourself, husband and child.

There are some things you don't keep enduring. There is no big deal making her Understand you know she doesn't like you that much. Let her know that you heard the conversation but it's alright.

Yours is a small story compared to My Mil to My husband her first son.If i told You out of her 10 kids My husband is her exact lookalike but mehn even her older children run from her.If i told You that She maltreated him so much that her own marriedyounger sis came and forcefully took him away from her care so thst She wont kill hIm one day.Fortunately he is her Most successful child today.

My husband has done All to please her but whatever it is.I came in and wanted to make peace but She showed me her package,since then we mind our biz.
what we do;Whatever your duty as her child do it but Dont kill yourself over it.It shouldnt affect the harmony between your siblings ,They didnt cause it and Dont ever disturb yourself over it.
If You want a mother figure,adopt ur mil If She wont mind.

That must be very painful to you. I can’t even imagine. Because people always crave their parents’ love especially their mothers.
You just have to confront her to get to the bottom of the matter. Not knowing why she treats you that way will not give you peace.

What will you lose if you confront her? You are not a baby

Maybe you are your father's love child and not her biological child!

I'm sorry, but I can't just understand why a mother will be that way with her own child. Something is just not right!

What's a love marriage?

My grandmother never loved my mother, my mother always cry and wonder why her mother never showed her small love. One day I asked my granny why she dislikes my mother?
This was her reply
" your grandfather married a second wife without telling me, the day I gave birth to your mother "

Imag

Daniaramiz34:
Hi ,I rly need some advice on what to do with me and my mothers relationship.

Since my childhood I knew my mother never really favored me it was always my elder sister.I have 2 sisters one is younger and the other is older than me. Three years ago I got married and and just gave birth last year anyways I always knew my mom disliked me for some reason even tho I was the most obedient to her than my other sister which I never reallyyy understood! On so many occasions they have disrespected her in public talked back and hurt her feelings to the point where she sobs and sobs and theres me always comforting her and by her side but she treats me like I'm not there!

anyways my elder sister got married again (shes a divorcee) and moved to a third world country , it was a love marriage and my mom was unhappy with their marriage she didnt want her to live there but her husband earns enough to give her a comfortable life but still my mom was very unhappy as she was her favorite daughter she always wanted her to get married to our far relatives son whose from the u.k, but instead I did ,but not to the same guy my mom wanted for my sister but my husband too is a far relative. anyways last year when I gave birth my mother and my younger sister came to help with the baby ,I just gave birth and I was extremely deprived of sleep so one night she told me to get some rest and they will stay up with the baby ,I slept for good 3 hours when I woke up to the crying of my baby I stood up and went to check before I went inside the room

I heard my mom say to my sister how she wishes the life iam living for my elder sister instead how she wishes it was the opposite and that iam not fit for this life or deserving I obviously was shocked and backed away never mentioned it to her acted like nothing happened I was confused sad angry why not me? Iam I also not her daughter? I still dont understand to this day!

I always send her money, buy her gifts take her outisde take loans from my husband to give it to her when she needs money always treat her like the most important person in my life! I was very very confused to the point I started having thoughts of me not being her biological daughter ,when I was young she would never praise anything that I do I use to make her favorite dish she would not say anything or find faults in it on another occasion when I started getting good grades she would tell me do u think ur smart now? Instead of praising me cuz that's what parents do right


I still love her to death and just wish she showed me a little bit of compassion I dont dare ask her why do you dislike me what have I ever done to you!

Please help me understand I'm desperate.am I overthinking? How do I handle this?

.
This is exactly what the enemy wants you to think. And you're thinking it. You can choose to see it differently. Only wisdom can explain the rest.

UjuJoan2:
Maybe you are your father's love child and not her biological child!

I'm sorry, but I can't just understand why a mother will be that way with her own child. Something is just not right!

But we all have birth Mark's that look alike and I know its from here cause she has it too,I always thought of getting DNA done but never had the courage,my dad did cheat on my multiple times

Oyindidi:
Is it also impossible to stay away from her? Please answer me

No not possible!

blessedaunty:
I think she is your mum, maybe you probably look like your dad. Does she have a good relationship with your father? This may be the reason.

My dad really gave her a hard time but I don't think her dislike for me comes from there i always felt like my mother didnt like my relationship with my grandmother, my grandmother brought me up as a child not that my mother couldn't take care of me but in our culture it's very normal to give one child or have one child stay with the grandmother for sometime which was until I was a teenager ,I would visit my family at times tho,anyways my grandmother would let all her grandkids know that she loved me the most ALL THE TIME and when she moved to the u.s for her treatments she would call and ask for me all the time and cry saying I always see her in my dreams,my moms expression always use to change to like an angry one like she didnt want to hear !


Part of me thinks since shes the only child of my grandmother and grandad (my grandma married twice) she wants my grandmas love all to herself.

op I feel sorry you feel this way.

If you need closure then you need to ask why she dislikes or hates you but then I'd say you don't need closure...probably it may be hard but then you need it for sanity sake.
Forget about what she has done to you or forgive rather and then put her at arms length. Don't let her come too close because right now she's worse than your enemy and could leave you to the hands of death if your other sister is concerned.

ps.. no amount of love you show her would satisfy her like your siblings so go away,fade away and live your life.

I smile cos nothing is new under the sun. While growing up, I always use to question why my mum is so hard on me, nothing I do is good. Even after university, I remember going out of my way to prepare her a special dinner, she refused to eat it giving a stupid reason.
I can't say much because it's a sensitive topic for me but today, I live free cos I damned it all. Shu