So I'm currently in Lagos for almost a month now, came in for some stuffs. Being a God loving young man, I located my church domination the very first week I arrived. I've attended all weekly activities and Sunday services just like back home. I'm not a perfect human, but I don't play with God time, in fact it's been like 5 years I missed Sunday service last until today.

I woke up this morning with zero zeal and motivation to go to church, I can't explain why, I haven't experienced that for years.

So today I decided to stay back home for no reasons doing absolutely nothing, by 11:00 am Lagos heat was about suffocating me. There's nothing like NEPA light here, (I've not heard the beautiful Up NEPA national motto since I've been here) to put the fan on. when the heat was becoming on bearable, I was sweating like a rat in her menstrual circle. so, I left my room to take a nap under this huge tree in the compound, I don't know when I slept off all I know is I was still awake as of 11:35.

I felt a tap on my leg, accompanying with this angelic voice "Bro offpoint, Bro offpoint" (I'm switching to pidgin)

naso so I wake up, bamm na my church members 6 of dem 3 guys and 3 ladies... ah I check my phone time na 1:15.... I don sleep far like this?
I woke up with hard on, my díck was highly erected, it was at it peak, it's prime time and felt like it has added 4 extra more inches. ah na yawa bi this o, whenever I woke up with hard on it could last for 30 minutes.

ah, na Jessy short I wear o, no clothes on, I left my clothes indoor before I go sleep there...
My babayaro dey obvious, the guy stand gerigba like Mount Everest and galant like American soldier... I don die, how will I go in and get dem chair? worst thing is as dem wake me I don stand up on my feet already before I no sey my babayaro don stand up too.. e just dey point at my visitor gun... aaah, ground abeg open up and swallow me.

as one ask me Bro offpoint what happened, you weren't in the church today?

me dey battle how my stuff go go down, "sorry let me get you guys chair it's really hot inside" I don find excuse to japa...
but the problem is how the hell will I walk with an erected dįck to my room? the tree is like 5 rooms to my mine and everybody don return back from church.

God I felt so embarrassed, I wished I could just die or the earth should just open wide and swallowed me.

naso I carry my tin waka till I reach my room, inside room the guy no gree drop down, I poor water nothing happens, jump up and down that wan come increase am the more... ah, 5 minutes bros no gree and people dey wait me under tree.... I no get choice again na black tape I come use wrap am to my lap, come carry jeans wear before I carry chair go give them.

I spent the whole day regretting why I didn't go to church, wetin dem go think sey I dey dream about. God! I felt so embarrassed throughout their stay.

chai

Lol, fiction!

Bro off point So you introduced yourself in church as off point
Next time you want to put down some figment of your imagination,at least settle down and write it in such a way that it will be close to reality lol

Greatzeus:
Bro off point So you introduced yourself in church as off point
Next time you want to put down some figment of your imagination,at least settle down and write it in such a way that it will be close to reality lol

Bro there's nothing fictional about what I wrote up there, if you need see the tape I used I can upload the picture for you.

About my name, yeah I replaced that... I can't put my name down on nairaland I have a lot enemies here or monitoring spirits here.

Offpoint1:

Bro there's nothing fictional about what I wrote up there, if you need see the tape I used I can upload the picture for you.

About my name, yeah I replaced that... I can't put my name down on nairaland I have a lot enemies here or monitoring spirits here.

Ok bro,it was " bro off point" that knock me off now

Bothoffpoint and on point, una dey cwaiz

What exactly where u dreaming about?I thought such stuffs only happens early in the mornings.

Bro offpoint

Offpoint

ReneeNuttall:
What exactly where u dreaming about?I thought such stuffs only happens early in the mornings.

lol, nothing o. not only in the morning, it could happen when we are in deep sleep and mostly when the bladder is filled up our AK-47 will be up too.

Offpoint1:

lol, nothing o. not only in the morning, it could happen when we are in deep sleep and mostly when the bladder is filled up our AK-47 will be up too.

that's good, baba pls message me on that our biz things

Greatzeus:
Bro off point So you introduced yourself in church as off point
Next time you want to put down some figment of your imagination,at least settle down and write it in such a way that it will be close to reality lol

you set expect make him put down his real name Abu? you go wait tire

ReneeNuttall:
What exactly where u dreaming about?I thought such stuffs only happens early in the mornings.

sometimes it can happen in day time depending on your system. and in most cases the person may not even have dream related to that.

bro offpoint may ur manhood live on

alizma:

sometimes it can happen in day time depending on your system. and in most cases the person may not even have dream related to that.

Wow! Thank God say i be girl.

Offpoint1:

lol, nothing o. not only in the morning, it could happen when we are in deep sleep and mostly when the bladder is filled up our AK-47 will be up too.

Lol

alizma:

sometimes it can happen in day time depending on your system. and in most cases the person may not even have dream related to that.

Wow! Thank God say I no be guy! See gbege

where Nairaland see all these people?

ghadaphy:
that's good, baba pls message me on that our biz things

drop me your number here, dem ban my account.

ReneeNuttall:

Wow! Thank God say I no be guy! See gbege

lol, you can't compare our daily visitor to your monthly own naw...
una own come with wahala, pain, changes in your physicals, headache, some fever, dizziness and many more

Offpoint1:

lol, you can't compare our daily visitor to your monthly own naw...
una own come with wahala, pain, changes in your physicals, headache, some fever, dizziness and many more

Eeehn but its not that bad drugs can take care of 70% of the wahala and its not embarrassing when properly curtailed.

ReneeNuttall:

Eeehn but its not that bad drugs can take care of 70% of the wahala and its not embarrassing when properly curtailed.

I grab your point now, but I still prefer being a guy. seeing my babayaro do it daily push ups every morning gives me joy.

Mehn, this kind thing don happen to me in 2015 when I was still a jambite! I travelled to my friends place a day before the Jamb exam (my friend is a female). I slept in her place and in the morning when I woke up around 8:00 am, my dick come stand ehn... The thing hard gan, and e no gree calm down! Exam wey I suppose get in the afternoon, I run comot cos of the embarassment! After the exam sef I no go back there, na for phone I tell her say I dey travel back home!

lincsnuel:
Mehn, this kind thing don happen to me in 2015 when I was still a jambite! I travelled to my friends place a day before the Jamb exam (my friend is a female). I slept in her place and in the morning when I woke up around 8:00 am, my dick come stand ehn... The thing hard gan, and e no gree calm down! Exam wey I suppose get in the afternoon, I run comot cos of the embarassment! After the exam sef I no go back there, na for phone I tell her say I dey travel back home!

I understand brother, I totally understand.

Count it all joy for worthy of suffering shame for the sake of your manhood. Be glad, for your fame shall spread in Church, and verily, a sister in Church shall found your preeq worthy of service to her.

ah! devil is a liar!
i was also at church not too long ago, naso the thing stand o. suddenly the pastor's mic went of and i had to quickly go give him another one. i couldnt walk straight that day o. na so i take bend down reach him side.

bro i can attest to that especially in the morning i have join up and down hope for it to constrast

ReneeNuttall:

Wow! Thank God say I no be guy! See gbege

aside from the little embarrassment from it, especially when it happened to the knowledge of people who are not matured enough to understand that it is normal and a sign of being healthy(sex wise), it is a good thing to whoever has such experience. It call for concern if a man is not having such experience. Doctors in the house can attest to that.

alizma:

aside from the little embarrassment from it, especially when it happened to the knowledge of people who are not matured enough to understand that it is normal and a sign of being healthy(sex wise), it is a good thing to whoever has such experience. It call for concern if a man is not having such experience. Doctors in the house can attest to that.

So I heard,although av witnessed that of my brothers a lot, but its mostly in the mornings. Haven't noticed it at noon .So I was kinda surprised when op said Sunday afternoon ha!......thanks anyways. Once again una dey try.In my next life I will still come as a girl o(if there is anything like reincarnation),I'm not cut out for all this.

ReneeNuttall:


So I heard,although av witnessed that of my brothers a lot, but its mostly in the mornings. Haven't noticed it at noon .So I was kinda surprised when op said Sunday afternoon ha!......thanks anyways. Once again una dey try.In my next life I will still come as a girl o(if there is anything like reincarnation),I'm not cut out for all this.

say this after having your own kids