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#WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives - Jokes Etc (3) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / #WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives (52742 Views)

What Was The Worst Beating Your Parents Ever Gave You And Why? / What's The Worst Thing You've Overheard While Pretending To Be Asleep? / Remember The Worst Beating Of Your Life Your Parent Give You (2) (3) (4)

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Re: #WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives by BankyGee(m): 9:09pm On Mar 19, 2019
luminouz:
Oh..mine was an April Fool's prank...on my way home from school..I bought eggs,dirtied my clothes, used
bandages from school clinic which I stained with red ink. Some yards to the house,i cracked the eggs ,put them in my mouth and let em dribble down my chin. With a mudafvcked up look on my face,I entered the sitting room and fell down screaming 'mummy'. Unfortunately,mumsy was with a friend and on seeing me they both yelled and came running. I allowed them to yank me up and I opened my EYES and yelled 'April fool' with egg yolk dribbling everywhere. Their reactions were instantaneous and synchronized as if they rehearsed it beforehand. They both dropped me and I never saw the two slaps(mum-forehand,her friend backhand) till they exploded in my face.
luminouz my man grin

1 Like

Re: #WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives by psalmsmiles(m): 9:11pm On Mar 19, 2019
alexistaiwo:
Though I have the most innocent look you can find.

I am as bad as they come.
Back in the days, I dey chop beatings back to back.

Infact I don't know which is worse.


The day I had my two wrists broken for leaving household chores to watch football.

The day I was caught in a PlayStation game house.

The day I received 50 strokes from three different teachers because I was reported by my mum.

The day I was beaten and had my back cut with razor and raw pepper was inserted (scars are still there)


I have more than 40 instances to chose from.


Last last what does not kill you will make you stubborner
your last statement cant be more truer..
Sometimes,i wonder if our parents ever passd thru childhood. Truth is, the more u beat a child 4 comittin an offence,the more hardend their hearts gets.
I wonder who told africans that beating "cures" stubborness from a child. little wonder we have such excess hardened criminals over here...

15 Likes

Re: #WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives by Kharol1234: 9:12pm On Mar 19, 2019
#worstbeatingofmylife.......was sent to buy to buy 3crowns milk to take pap, so i went to get it unknwingly to me d milk has expired took it home wen dae opened it, it was tastin sumhw, so dad said i should return it me d shy type na i dae shame to go bak. Mumu me i trowey d 3crown got home and told dem dae collected it and said i should go, my dad was like dem no giv u anoda 1 i said yes.. E said oya make we go d shop my body don dae shake already me dae bak he was in front, i take style go bak go pick d tin milk wer i trowey am my dad explained d woman was e no reach here oo wer d milk sef i said see am so dae brought anoda milk... As we wer goin home na unknwingly to me na my papa just giv me slap for bak.....my spirit left my body it took like 5mins my spirit came bak..... D slap took me to heaven and hell @ d same tym...

42 Likes 4 Shares

Re: #WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives by Sambaby7640: 9:12pm On Mar 19, 2019
Jackde:
When I dey primary school I lied to my friend that I bet barca will beat arsenal in d CL final after barca had won d cup...her sister heard n threaten to report me to my school teacher..as a stubborn boy I no send tot she no get d mind to go report me...to my greatest surprise d next morning for school na so I see d gal for my class...na so I take chop serious beating on top wetin I no do
Oboy your own funny die. Untop wetin you no do

1 Like

Re: #WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives by DabuIIIT: 9:13pm On Mar 19, 2019
luminouz:
Oh..mine was an April Fool's prank...on my way home from school..I bought eggs,dirtied my clothes, used
bandages from school clinic which I stained with red ink. Some yards to the house,i cracked the eggs ,put them in my mouth and let em dribble down my chin. With a mudafvcked up look on my face,I entered the sitting room and fell down screaming 'mummy'. Unfortunately,mumsy was with a friend and on seeing me they both yelled and came running. I allowed them to yank me up and I opened my EYES and yelled 'April fool' with egg yolk dribbling everywhere. Their reactions were instantaneous and synchronized as if they rehearsed it beforehand. They both dropped me and I never saw the two slaps(mum-forehand,her friend backhand) till they exploded in my face. The slap-fest continued from both women till around after the 10th slap,my mumsy now remembered say I be her pikin and snarled at the other woman saying 'do u think ur beating a goat ni'? And she punctuated it with another slap. I couldn't sleep that night cuz my face looked like I was stung by a 1000 bees. For 3 days after,my brothers dey call me 'puff puff' face! grin


Lai Mohammed

grin

2 Likes

Re: #WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives by segzyndpep(m): 9:14pm On Mar 19, 2019
kaziblake:
Mine was when I told my dad that my grandma was a witch and that she initiated me into it so I have extraordinary power .My dad believed it and ran away same with my siblings,I said it because then my grandma was very wicked, she beat me and tell my mum awful things about me..I later confessed that it was a lie and that day I saw hell, everyone was beating me that I caused confusion at home.

U wicked no be small

5 Likes

Re: #WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives by Noblefirstlady: 9:14pm On Mar 19, 2019
alexistaiwo:
Though I have the most innocent look you can find.

I am as bad as they come.
Back in the days, I dey chop beatings back to back.

Infact I don't know which is worse.


The day I had my two wrists broken for leaving household chores to watch football.

The day I was caught in a PlayStation game house.

The day I received 50 strokes from three different teachers because I was reported by my mum.

The day I was beaten and had my back cut with razor and raw pepper was inserted (scars are still there)


I have more than 40 instances to chose from.


Last last what does not kill you will make you stubborner
There is nothing you did that should warrant such evil punishment I mean the razor and pepper part

5 Likes

Re: #WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives by emsco91(m): 9:19pm On Mar 19, 2019
that faithful day, I went to play p.s 2.. my uncle came back from work n I was nowhere to be found....
he then traced me to that game house... gbam!!! at first I thought I was dead but he behaved normal which wasn't normal.... I followed him sheepishly home....
then he was like Emma go n carry that kettle n boil water for me ... then, I thought it was over... as I entered the room walla!!!!! he locked the door....... from that day on, I den realized that IT IS NOT OVER UNTIL ITS OVER..... � �

100 Likes 6 Shares

Re: #WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives by luminouz(m): 9:22pm On Mar 19, 2019
BankyGee:

luminouz my man grin
wink

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: #WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives by luminouz(m): 9:23pm On Mar 19, 2019
DabuIIIT:


Lai Mohammed

grin
Lie for what shocked

1 Like

Re: #WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives by Elliot2(m): 9:27pm On Mar 19, 2019
seangy4konji:
I am cuming
where did u see bf on this thread that u r cuming?

1 Like

Re: #WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives by Purplehyde(m): 9:30pm On Mar 19, 2019
the devil is a liar!
A friend of mine used to steal his parents money jest to play video game.. Wetyn concern me, I follow am go game house for like a week! When Casala burst, I denied the guy Buh they reported the case to my mom! “No be only one person Dey train pikin o” that’s my mom favorite line! The beating I recieved that day ehn, no be Wetyn mouth Dey talk

22 Likes 2 Shares

Re: #WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives by bravesoul247(m): 9:31pm On Mar 19, 2019
Davash222:
Was doing hide and seek with my siblings. Got eyes tied with black cloth. Popsy returned and I grabbed him shouting ‘I catch you, I catch you’.

Well, long story short, I took two tablets of paracetamol that night.
he beat you cos you grabbed him?

1 Like

Re: #WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives by QueTeddy: 9:32pm On Mar 19, 2019
Mine na passion cause am...
Always liked pressing phone when I was younger... So one day my Grand ma send me Fufu around 7 in the evening... On the way, one bros call me say make I con help am do something for phone... Na phone I press from 7 till 11:30... Sotey dem sleep for fufu house. I dey front of house when my guy tell me say "where you go since?, your uncle Don find you tire, you Don die today." Even me sef know say I die that day.

33 Likes

Re: #WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives by Nobody: 9:37pm On Mar 19, 2019
SweetJoystick:

which crescent you been stay?

B.
Re: #WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives by Kiddogarcia(m): 9:37pm On Mar 19, 2019
It was eight years ago,election was near,and there were campaign every where.na so i carry the okocha inside me go field,boi was bossing the game,we were beating everyteam set after set.na so we just hear gunshot gbam.everyone dispersed,as i was running home,na xo i meet momsie for road,wey im dey find me come field,the first slap wey i collect no be here.we got home and i met her junior brother,na xo mom start to dey report wetin i do,and wetin i no do.i swear the beating wey i recieve that day,ended my football career

51 Likes 1 Share

Re: #WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives by teacherbim(f): 9:37pm On Mar 19, 2019
#Theworstbeatingofmylife happened in 2024 when I just finished my Waec and I was expecting letter from Waec because I also enrolled for G. C. E. On that unfortunate day,when I got home from lesson,I entered the room met my dad eating EBa, I greeted him but he didn't answer, he later asked me if I was expecting any letter I said yes, I was expecting a letter, my dad nodded his head and said very good, he handed the letter to me, called my elder brother and he asked me to start reading it loud, the letter was from a class mate of mine in Secondary school, it was a love letter, I started stuttering so dad was angry that at that age I'd started doing rubbish with boys, that he would show me pepper and that was the year I clocked 18yrs when I remember that, I told my dad'' daddy but it is an offense to open my letter because I've already clocked 18yrs.omg!that 18yrs I said was like a bomb with the EBa and ewedu hand, my dad gave me three thundering slaps and was asking what my age was, I kept saying pry 6,not quite long my mom came bk from market and asked what was happening my dad explained to him that I said I'd already clock 18yrs so I can fornicate with boys any how, ha! Mammi shouted aye mi nibs kilon he 18yrs,i received beating with her rubber slippers till it got cut. My dad later took me to my uncle that lived in the next street, immediately we got there my dad explained to him that I said I had clocked 18yrs oooo so I could fornicate with boys anyhow and that my uncle is very educated, he was also like 18 yes ke, meaning what? he called out his son to get him Koboko that was when the wife stopped him that he should not beat me at all. I can never forget the besting I received that and till now my elder brother still call me aunty 18yrs. Oh! African parents are tough and wonderful but I'm trying so hard not to be too tough on my kids

93 Likes 5 Shares

Re: #WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives by Nobody: 9:37pm On Mar 19, 2019
Hmmmm I was in pry 3 when I took #10 from mum's purse to buy Mr goody goody chai mum beat me like I'm a criminal used razor blade to cut me put pepper in my eyes and private parts after several pleas from neighbours she left me but continued at night I picked pen (punishment) till dawn. After that incident I don't touch people's things without permission

13 Likes 4 Shares

Re: #WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives by Bellgal: 9:41pm On Mar 19, 2019
IkemChris:
Back then in primary school, we were in this maths class(primary 4) and the person teaching us was known in the school as the most wicked human God created (Both staffs and students can attest to this fact back then) as we were quitely learning in this class LO and Behold NEPA brought light (after one week of total Black out) devil come push my mouth to shout UP NEPA my people till this moment the tattoo that was drawn with coboko 2.2 still dey my body ooooo
My belly ooooooo...... Chai!!!!! I no laugh oooo

6 Likes

Re: #WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives by SweetJoystick(m): 9:44pm On Mar 19, 2019
pDudd:


B.
Ok. A here.

1 Like

Re: #WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives by Nobody: 9:44pm On Mar 19, 2019
Mine was the day I spent my dad three days old #300 change hoping he has forgotten and boom he remembered that same third day. Omo come see beating.. Like say na World Bank I defraud.

38 Likes 3 Shares

Re: #WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives by Eexus: 9:45pm On Mar 19, 2019
So SARS neva beat anybody for here

4 Likes

Re: #WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives by Nobody: 9:46pm On Mar 19, 2019
trevorhorace:
Was told to buy 5 liters of kerosene
I bought 1litre and used change for game house
After 2hrs of Crash Team Racing, got home and filled up remaining 4litres with well water. With story of being among 10 million people on the queue at the filling station. Didn't know my dad had an A in chemistry. I got busted. Following day I had lost my last milk tooth and gotten a face like quasimodo. Remembering this still gives me the shivers. cry

shocked

Madt influence.... Water+Kerosene

4 Likes

Re: #WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives by Antony061(m): 9:48pm On Mar 19, 2019
Mine was d day i stole momsi money she came back nd was asking wh took her money. Omo i deny am reach ground she believed me nd said maybe she misplaced it. Haa i was happy! B4 u no it Boom!!! My sister ran in shouting mummy itz is a lie his d 1 i saw him. haa day dat was hell! u no d worst part? she didn't beat me o! she waited 4 my 2 uncles and my dad to come back b4 dey start d beating

14 Likes 2 Shares

Re: #WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives by Ayotemide(f): 9:49pm On Mar 19, 2019
rxmusa:
The worst beating of my life was when I opened our dad's radio and removed that engine that rotate cassettes and used it to make fan, I made 3 angle frame and inserted at top of the engine, I used 2 wires to connect to a battery. Gbam! My fan works (I became an engineer amongst my friends) but the radio was dead.

When my dad returned home and saw my handiwork, he experimented the concept of "corrective punishment" with me

That was mighty smart, I am impressed joor.

5 Likes

Re: #WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives by LtCZAR: 9:49pm On Mar 19, 2019
I was in SS1, One government school in Oriade, Old Ojo Road. When my Dad came to school to look for me and went straight to the staff room asking of me, that am a science student. He was told by the teachers that I was in Art Class. They called me and I saw His face, with the look of, they are lying on you Abi.
I confirmed it to him I was in Art Class truly.
Throughout that semester before I go to school, my dad would give me morning dose 10 strokes daily.

27 Likes 3 Shares

Re: #WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives by Funkybabee(f): 9:49pm On Mar 19, 2019
I can't even count differents type of beating shey na when they asked us to go and grind pepper while due to our careless it all fell on the ground or when we forget to cook for her ni abi when we collect something from visitor to eat eh.... Melo melo ninu adepele lols.. African mother eh.. My dad don't have time for beating

5 Likes

Re: #WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives by kenAlmighty: 9:50pm On Mar 19, 2019
I was washing my dad's car one Sunday morning, I was just pressing the moon roof open and close, suddenly the roof refused to close, I left it like dat, dad came tried closing it but no way, so we had to drive like dat to church, as we were coming back from church it started raining heavily, but my dad kept driving and just shaking his head, on getting home he called my uncle to come over and help him beat me, and my uncle hated me then with passion. I didn't go to school for 3 days

65 Likes 8 Shares

Re: #WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives by freemi(m): 9:50pm On Mar 19, 2019
Officialgarri:
Moi moi was ready . grin grin grin

I don laff tire , water dey commot from my eye grin grin grin
swears. Chei no fit laff sef grin

1 Like

Re: #WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives by Nobody: 9:57pm On Mar 19, 2019
Tell that to my late mother.

Thank God for fast reflexes, you have no idea how many times I had to dodge hot water and missiles.
Noblefirstlady:

There is nothing you did that should warrant such evil punishment I mean the razor and pepper part

6 Likes

Re: #WorstBeatingOfMyLife: Nigerians share worst beating of their lives by Funkybabee(f): 9:58pm On Mar 19, 2019
psalmsmiles:

your last statement cant be more truer..
Sometimes,i wonder if our parents ever passd thru childhood. Truth is, the more u beat a child 4 comittin an offence,the more hardend their hearts gets.
I wonder who told africans that beating "cures" stubborness from a child. little wonder we have such excess hardened criminals over here...



Haaaa u never see factory reset beating eh...never in ur life do it again

3 Likes

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