Do people really change from bad to good? Or, does such change mean pretense? Can you marry someone you know was of bad character that shows sign of change for good?

Change in character is the ability to mask your real character.

of course people change, but to be sincere with you knowing the pretenders Is a little difficult in which only God can help.

Humans are complex creatures. These days most coupled do not make the effort to explore flaws, bad habits, personality traits and character.
Most bad traits are already there, most choose to ignore them, seek to pray these flaws away or think that marriage will change the person. That’s just being uncharastically shortsighted and naive.
That said
Marriage can change someone, the arrival of children, the stress of balancing roles and responsibilities realising you married a mistake that can make some resent their marriage or it could be the making of them. Forcing them to change a lot of aspects of their character to make room for development into a better person.

But that takes a certain type of person most just throw the towel in and walk. Without trying to be a better person.

grad2012:
of course people change, but to be sincere with you knowing the pretenders Is a little difficult in which only God can help.

Many times the signs are there ....most choose to ignore them.

There is a proverb that says " by their works you shall know them ". You need to study people and the deeds that they do, for in that lies true character of a person .

Virginity lost can never be replaced,OP I know it's a girl you are talking about

Constancy of change is only applicable to innate things - this is all about dependability of change. So to your question, the answer is yes and no, depending on one's ethical leanings - no apologies:

* Egoist - No amount of change can permanently stop an egoist from being greedy. One that belongs here will always mete out pernicious acts towards people around him/her - irrespective of the depth of emotional connection s/he shares with one. Emotional and material abuses are inevitable here. Sycophancy, perfidiousness and pretense (talk about a slow poison) are some of their major hallmarks.

* Narcissist - No amount of change can permanently stop a narcissist from being selfish and hypocritical. One who belongs here will always mete out both emotional and psychological abuses towards anyone s/he shares close relationship with. Sanctimoniousness and insatiableness are their major hallmarks - nagging and whining are inevitable.

* Egotist - No amount of change can permanently stop an egotist from being hypocritically disingenuous. One who belongs here will always mete out sly and self-centered acts while cockily voicing against them, and will always be contentious because of his/her conceitedness/domineeringness. Wannabe alpha males and wannabe female feminists/termagants belong here. Both psychological, emotional and material abuses are inevitable here - psychological projection (blame shifting) is always evident here too.

* An altruistic and conscientious person is the only one that can permanently change from bad to good, because thoughtfulness/selflessness is his/her attribute - attribute is innate but attitude isn't.

So, yes, I can marry a lady who's of the altruistic and conscientious ethical leanings, irrespective of her present and past behaviors.

.

pandv:

Do people really change from bad to good? Or, does such change mean pretense?

Yes people do but genuine ones are few..it takes a very hard or bitter experience to change some ppl.. These experiences aren't common.

pandv:
Can you marry someone you know was of bad character that shows sign of change for good?

No. Except I personally witnessed his/her hard-knock or breaking experience and compare his responses with the pre-experience lifestyle... this will definitely take time. Marriage is too delicate a life institution to take such risks, that's why I said No.

[quote author=LordKO post=76980887]


Really?

Oluromantic:

Yes people do but genuine ones are few..it takes a very hard or bitter experience to change some ppl.. These experiences aren't common.

No. Except I personally witnessed his/her hard-knock or breaking experience and compare his responses with the pre-experience lifestyle... this will definitely take time. Marriage is too delicate a life institution to take such risks, that's why I said No.

Truly marriage is too delicate

MissRaine69:
Humans are complex creatures. These days most coupled do not make the effort to explore flaws, bad habits, personality traits and character.
Most bad traits are already there, most choose to ignore them, seek to pray these flaws away or think that marriage will change the person. That’s just being uncharastically shortsighted and naive.
That said
Marriage can change someone, the arrival of children, the stress of balancing roles and responsibilities realising you married a mistake that can make some resent their marriage or it could be the making of them. Forcing them to change a lot of aspects of their character to make room for development into a better person.

But that takes a certain type of person most just throw the towel in and walk. Without trying to be a better person.

So, can you marry such a person?

IamD18:
Change in character is the ability to mask your real character.

You think so?

LordKO:
Constancy of change is only applicable to innate things. So to your question, the answer is yes and no, depending on one's ethical leanings - no apologies:

* Egoist - No amount of change can permanently stop an egoist from being greedy. One that belongs here will always mete out pernicious acts towards people around him/her - irrespective of the depth of emotional connection s/he shares with one. Emotional and material abuses are inevitable here. Sycophancy, perfidiousness and pretense (talk about a slow poison) are some of their major hallmarks.

* Narcissist - No amount of change can permanently stop a narcissist from being selfish and hypocritical. One who belongs here will always mete out both emotional and psychological abuses towards anyone s/he shares close relationship with. Sanctimoniousness and insatiableness are their major hallmarks.

* Egotist - No amount of change can permanently stop an egotist from being hypocritically disingenuous. One who belongs here will always mete out sly and self-centered acts while cockily voicing against them, and will always be contentious because of his/her conceitedness. Wannabe alpha males and wannabe female feminists/termagants belong here. Both psychological, emotional and material abuses are inevitable here.

* An altruistic and conscientious person is the only one that can permanently change from bad to good, because thoughtfulness/selflessness is his/her attribute - attribute is innate but attitude isn't.

So, yes, I can marry a lady who's of the altruistic and conscientious ethical leanings, irrespective of her present and past behaviors.

are there books I can read about all these things

Shelumiel:
There is a proverb that says " by their works you shall know them ". You need to study people and the deeds that they do, for in that lies true character of a person .

But pretenders can do such.

grad2012:
of course people change, but to be sincere with you knowing the pretenders Is a little difficult in which only God can help.

Is there no way to know pretenders outside God's help?

This OP if she is woman she is a retired harlot looking for a nice guy that will marry her.

pandv:

Do people really change from bad to good? Or, does such change mean pretense? Can you marry someone you know was of bad character that shows sign of change for good?

Yes, people do change from bad to good without pretence. Yes, I can marry such a man because I can differentiate good from bad.

Themellowone:


Yes, people do change from bad to good without pretence. Yes, I can marry such a man because I can differentiate good from bad.

How do I know a pretender?

Jcole1985:
Virginity lost can never be replaced,OP I know it's a girl you are talking about

Mr virgin you are wrong. LOL

In Tupac's said, "I see no changes".

LordKO:
Constancy of change is only applicable to innate things. So to your question, the answer is yes and no, depending on one's ethical leanings - no apologies:

* Egoist - No amount of change can permanently stop an egoist from being greedy. One that belongs here will always mete out pernicious acts towards people around him/her - irrespective of the depth of emotional connection s/he shares with one. Emotional and material abuses are inevitable here. Sycophancy, perfidiousness and pretense (talk about a slow poison) are some of their major hallmarks.

* Narcissist - No amount of change can permanently stop a narcissist from being selfish and hypocritical. One who belongs here will always mete out both emotional and psychological abuses towards anyone s/he shares close relationship with. Sanctimoniousness and insatiableness are their major hallmarks.

* Egotist - No amount of change can permanently stop an egotist from being hypocritically disingenuous. One who belongs here will always mete out sly and self-centered acts while cockily voicing against them, and will always be contentious because of his/her conceitedness. Wannabe alpha males and wannabe female feminists/termagants belong here. Both psychological, emotional and material abuses are inevitable here.

* An altruistic and conscientious person is the only one that can permanently change from bad to good, because thoughtfulness/selflessness is his/her attribute - attribute is innate but attitude isn't.

So, yes, I can marry a lady who's of the altruistic and conscientious ethical leanings, irrespective of her present and past behaviors.

alphamales are not egotistic go and google the meaming of alphamale.

kollinzgee:


alphamales are not egotistic go and google the meaming of alphamale.

Conceitedness is God's gift to small-minded people like you. A "wannabe alpha male" isn't the same thing as an alpha male, just as a "wannabe feminist" isn't the same thing as a feminist. . . so wannabe alpha man vamoose now and look for your ilk elsewhere.

generationz:

are there books I can read about all these things

No.

pandv:

Do people really change from bad to good? Or, does such change mean pretense? Can you marry someone you know was of bad character that shows sign of change for good?

It doesn't means pretense. I can marry him if I'm truly convinced of his good behaviours, na to shine my eyes

aanuoluwami14:


It doesn't means pretense. I can marry him if I'm truly convinced of his good behaviours, na to shine my eyes

How can one know a pretender or a non pretender?

Elderlucifer:
This OP if she is woman she is a retired harlot looking for a nice guy that will marry her.

If I catch you there, sorry will be your name.

OP tell me your gender before I give you answer.

Nahh old habits die hard..Once it's UN the blood, it's there for ever.only we just outgrow them sometimes..

Azzari7:
Nahh old habits die hard..Once it's UN the blood, it's there for ever.only we just outgrow them sometimes..

Maybe you can explain better.

pandv:


Maybe you can explain better.

People don't change.sometimes we just feel we're bigger than somethings and have no reason to do them anymore.but that doesn't mean we've stopped it.