I live in the midst of friends that have always had varying opinions, about both serious and frivolous issues. They'd always argued on different issues, and I'm always seen as the judge with the final verdict, probably because I hate arguments (I can only argue football).

Yesterday, on my way to watch the champions league, I met them arguing on "persistence when trying to woo a lady".

1...One of them said, if he asks a lady out and she refuses, he will never go back to her again (that going back to her again will make her disrespect him even more. After all, their are many fishes in the river). Ladies hate guys who pester them

2....The other debater said, persistence shows how much you love her, no matter how she treats you. That this "never say die" attitude proves you are a real man. The ladies wouldn't want to look cheap, perhaps the reason why they drag for long. The patient dog they say, eats the fattest bone.

3...The last one said, he will combine both I.e he will persist and give her space to think. after a short while, he will come back. He believes, giving the space is to allow enough time to miss him.

As all of them were waiting for the verdict of the impartial judge (me), then we heard gooooooaaal!!!!..We forgot everything and hurriedly entered the viewing center.

They might likely remember the discussion and ask for my opinion...

So what's your opinion about the topic?

Dignity over pussy.

Pride and ego is what kills most of you men before death.

2buffagain:
Dignity over pussy.

Saffi:
Pride and ego is what kills most of you men before death.

So because he have said the truth that dignity over pussy, pride and ego kills most men. Persistence is never a way to woo a lady, you will end up wooing liability. For a relationship to be meaningful, efforts must go both way. If you're not interested, I bounce off. Life is more than fighting useless battles.

Making your dreams a reality isn't easy so your dream girl may not be easy as well

I wooed the last two girls i liked for over a year...and nothing still happened. In both cases, we got along so much that i felt all that remained was an "official" yes. But alas! The last one had her intro a month ago.

Whereas, my first and only girlfriend that i dated for two years gave me a yes after two days!! And we so loved ourselves!


So, persistence doesnt guarantee anything. If a girl truly and realy loves you, it shouldn take her more than a month or two to say yes.


There are billions of women around the world, dont let one selfish hold you to ransom and delay your life.

Adeinfo:

So because he have said the truth that dignity over pussy, pride and ego kills most men. Persistence is never a way to woo a lady, you will end up wooing liability. For a relationship to be meaningful, efforts must go both way. If you're not interested, I bounce off. Life is more than fighting useless battles.

I concur sir...

Saffi:
Pride and ego is what kills most of you men before death.

Lol....

In yesteryears a man will see or meet a woman, do some findings on her to establish that she is deserving and when/if satisfied with his report (and the report of her family character wise), he will shoot his shot. The girl for a reason or the other will most likely not yield at first (most times she wants to be sure that the man is worth it or she may have a pool of suitors asking her hand in marriage), and it is very common for the man to persevere and be persistent in his pursuit.

But nowadays, we are in age where most ladies place premium on material things and other factors. A girl that a man hasn't done holistic background investigation on to establish that she is deserving in attitude and character isn't worth the perseverance.

TonyeBarcanista:
In yesteryears a man will see or meet a woman, do some findings on her to establish that she is deserving and when/if satisfied with his report (and the report of her family character wise), he will shoot his shot. The girl for a reason or the other will most likely not yield at first (most times she wants to be sure that the man is worth it or she may have a pool of suitors asking her hand in marriage), and it is very common for the man to persevere and be persistent in his pursuit.

But nowadays, we are in age where most ladies place premium on material things and other factors. A girl that a man hasn't done holistic background investigation on to establish that she is deserving in attitude and character isn't worth the perseverance.

Ummmm.....This is deep....

Following... I really need to know what the best option is.

I met someone recently that I like but I don't wanna seem like a desperate guy, and I don't wanna appear like a stalker.

Anyway...I've decided to take a step back and hope that she will seek me out. I don't know if this is the best move

One rule doesn't apply to all. But I mostly go with the 1st with few exceptions. I ask, you say no...I'm off.

Na so I pester one girl during uni so tay ,upon all her clear warnings that she has changed as we were formally good friends. I bulldozed my way into the relationship & raced out with a powered bike..with her aiming missiles at me ...all within a month...we never talk till now.

Bros...To hell with a bird in hand....plenty dey for bush.

Why waste my time on a woman to say yes when I can find her likes in different places. Guys are just disgracing themselves in the name of masculinity

Reeks of disingenuous machismo and fake egotism on here.

Biglittlelois:
Reeks of disingenuous machismo and fake egotism on here.

Immature or uninterested females are not to be coddled.

The chase goes both ways.
He chases, she chases.

No man can convince a woman to do what she doesn't already want to do.
If he doesn't play into her illusion of *wanting him to prove himself*, she herself will start pursuing.

Because as a man, the only thing you have to concern yourself with in this life is being about your business.

The sun does not go circling around planets.
Planets come circling around the sun.

Dream girl

Guy your hormones are messing with you, making you think if you don't date her you will die

If she says no, biko leave her and move on.

Anything you try to do to win her over after she has said her first no will be counterproductive.

What you can do is this, if she says no then distance yourself from her completely, if she makes no effort at all to contact you, she's showing you that she has no interest at all, in that case you can walk out with a little of your pride.

Biglittlelois:
Reeks of disingenuous machismo and fake egotism on here.

But you girls will later come round and say, this guy is disturbing you

PaddyX:


But you girls will later come round and say, this guy is disturbing you

True wallai....Some of them can even go to the extent of embarrassingly telling you, it will never happen even if she has no one to date....

Most of my gfs told me something similar to this...I honourably resigned and moved on (showed them that without them, life will still be fun)...After couple of months without calls,chat and visits, they will pretend to mistakenly call me (Na lie)...I always picked their calls as though I was picking the call of a stranger.."So you've forgotten me and have deleted my number abi" will be what they will say...
From then on, "na me go dey run away from them ooo"

Note: When I was persistent, I did it outstandingly (I made sure I made an indelible mark).. Anytime I go visiting I buy stuffs, I did things that ordinarily I wouldn't do to no one....She will be enjoying it, but yet she will be forming....When I get to the point I perceive she has started feeling my presence, enjoying my company and generosity ( though she still don't show it that much), I will instantly cut off, withdraw and disappear. After few weeks or months she will call....Me too go form na....

Young man, I summon u 2my office immediately. Com here https://www.nairaland.com/1406518/how-beat-women & do d needful. I'm summonin u because u seem 2b d leader amongst ur circle of frnds.

That said, a man shudn't pursue a woman too much. Pursuing her too much shows desperation, idleness & ultimately weakness. No woman wants a man wit those 3 poor qualities.

Believe it or not, if u play d game well, women'll b d ones pursuing u sef because u hv d right mentality. If u want 2know more, com 2my office: https://www.nairaland.com/1406518/how-beat-women

kingkoboko:
Young man, I summon u 2my office immediately. Com here https://www.nairaland.com/1406518/how-beat-women & do d needful. I'm summonin u because u seem 2b d leader amongst ur circle of frnds.

That said, a man shudn't pursue a woman too much. Pursuing her too much shows desperation, idleness & ultimately weakness. No woman wants a man wit those 3 poor qualities.

Believe it or not, if u play d game well, women'll b d ones pursuing u sef because u hv d right mentality. If u want 2know more, com 2my office: https://www.nairaland.com/1406518/how-beat-women

Lol....I'm on my way....

this is not one size fits all. you have to observe her body language not what she says only.


if her she says no, but her body language and behavior scream yes, then you need to be persistent tactically.


but if she says no and her attitude and body language scream go to hell, then you need to find your square root.


stay woke

ecstasy357:
Following... I really need to know what the best option is.

I met someone recently that I like but I don't wanna seem like a desperate guy, and I don't wanna appear like a stalker.

Anyway...I've decided to take a step back and hope that she will seek me out. I don't know if this is the best move

. Let me refer you to markmanson.net. Check for the article how to attract women.

Dream girl
Baba stop wasting ur time on mere illusions, I remembered my experience doing my finals in uni, thought I might not get a suitable girlfriend after school (wetin make me reson that thing I no knw) so I met this wonderful beauty and I wooed her all year round , Guy I did everything in the book to please her,,, still got a No!!, the mental space I was in then words cannot describe,, for some reason I was thinking she was my destined future wife (stupid thing to do),it almost affected my self esteem as I started to think as a guy I was'nt good enough for her, well I finally decided to move on from her and guess what I realised in my later relationships "it takes two tango" right now my motto is if I'm wooing you,you should also be stylishly wooing me back, I ain't got time for timewasters (that's what I call them)
There is nothing wrong in persisting but read the signs clearly,if a girl is'nt into you she's not!!, no matter how hard you try especially if she's got a lot of prospective boyfriends

PS: the girl later called me and started guilt tripping about how her ignored her all this while, well I told her I really can't remember the particular MM I'm talking to as I knew a lot of MMs in school, she got the message and stopped calling.

ecstasy357:
Following... I really need to know what the best option is.

I met someone recently that I like but I don't wanna seem like a desperate guy, and I don't wanna appear like a stalker.

Anyway...I've decided to take a step back and hope that she will seek me out. I don't know if this is the best move

Not all ladies perceive and think the same way...All round niceness to the lady in question will help a lot...Make her feel and know how much of importance she is to you, through your gestures and your gists.....Text her more often. A lady might easily forget what you told her on the phone, but those breathtaking goodnight or good morning messages would go a long way in cementing your relationship...She will always go through those messages, though she may not tell you...Don't be stingy too...Don't just buy her edible stuffs alone, she will eat, poo and forget about it. Buy things that will make her remember you any time she sees or wears them.
If you are skeptical about asking her out one on one; your calls, gestures and messages should give her an idea...If she begins to give you an attitude, maturely and gentlemanly give her some space....Those wonderful gestures of yours will speak for you in the future....Don't cut off completely. Call or text her once in a while but on a casual basis. This will show the kind of person you are (you are always nice)...If she continues with the attitude, then bounce.. She's not worth the heart ache. She may or may not come looking for you... Always expect the latter and move on...

Note: Gestures alone might not be enough to make a lady love you....Tell her even if she gonna hate you...Some ladies might anxiously wait for you to say it, if you don't, they will move on with someone and continue seeing you as a nice casual friend with a kind heart...It's better you say it, so you wouldn't regret....I lost some of my crushes to my close friends because of sceptism and naievity....

I no dey ask pass once, no be pride

Apination:
I no dey ask pass once, no be pride

But you go first establish friendship na.....After that you ask....But if you just ask once, that means you just want to get your share of her honey pot and leave....That one na lust no be love. ....

Biglittlelois:
Reeks of disingenuous machismo and fake egotism on here.

This your English alone, will scare the living day light out of any guy that will come around you...You sound gentle, a woman of little words but extremely choosy....Guys wouldn't love looking at your face when trying to woo you, lest they become intimidated and jittery....