Roshina22:


Thank god for you girl ! I hope you have many good friendships because it would be an honor to be your friend. Principles matter.

Unfortunately I don't have many friends. Thanks, though.

Roshina22:

Thx aku

Please just make him stop his so called chats. even if he has good intention, the ladies might turn the table around .
explain things to him

PrincessJr:
Sorry madam, but your husband is promiscuous. He is already cheating on you. Those girls are his numerous lovers in Nigeria!

Please don't be so silly to conclude on what you don't know about

GrabHisBalls:
Nobody is saying you should delete contacts, but as a married man/woman, you ought to be sensitive about your actions. Marriage isn't the same as dating. It's something you take more seriously 'cause your actions would be telling on your marriage.

Just imagine a married woman always chatting with men on social media with "Dear" as her first greeting approach? Would you as a man be comfortable with that kind wife? Would you give yourself the same advise you gave her if in her shoes?

You people should be a bit logical before commenting on such threads. It's not a must you comment.

But on several threads, we have seen men on NL complaining about their wives chatting with males or having one particular guy who she regularly chat with..even at odd hours. 98% of your fellow women will be here bashing and calling the man insecure....asking if the wife can't keep or talk to her male friends again just because of marriage.

But look at you guys blowing hot and cold...because this situation could have been any of you in it.

Abeg make we hear word

GrabHisBalls:
Nobody is saying you should delete contacts, but as a married man/woman, you ought to be sensitive about your actions. Marriage isn't the same as dating. It's something you take more seriously 'cause your actions would be telling on your marriage.

Just imagine a married woman always chatting with men on social media with "Dear" as her first greeting approach? Would you as a man be comfortable with that kind wife? Would you give yourself the same advise you gave her if in her shoes?

You people should be a bit logical before commenting on such threads. It's not a must you comment.

I'm sorry you're still living in the past. I'm dating and my girl understands I have female friends. She understands that I can be nice around girls. It's up to her to trust in my love for her. And for me to avoid making her feel uncomfortable.

Anything I can't tell her about, I don't do. Shikina.

Communication between couples is important. We just can't keep straight faces when we have the opportunity to meet new people and network.

Roshina22:


Aunty people are free to do as they like so long as it’s done with respect and care of context. Nobody put anybody in a cage.

Exactly, you guys are married. Loosen up to each other. Talk about each others culture more. It will get to a level when he won't mind you going through his chats.

I've not met him or you. But from your statement he sounds like a nice guy. Proper Igbo you would have gotten angry at your jealousy. I'm Igbo so I know.

And since he's a whatsapp kinda guy, spice up your chats with him too. When he's away from home, chat him up. Send engaging or loving messages, pictures or even videos of yourself telling him how much you love him.

That's my advice.

Roshina22:

Yeah I love my baby and family

That being said I wish you the best.

bluefilm:


I don't care what makes you afraid or insecure.

All I know is that I cannot just stop talking to my friends just because I got married to you.

Inukwanum okwu bikonu.

who says it is me that has fears... You need metal and psychological understanding of family affairs ...Akuya

CandidNotes:
If all you said it true, then he most likely married you to get his green card. Which means you are just a means to an end and he is busy looking for the woman he would genuinely connect with. Sorry for the bad news but I just want to be straight with you. Even if he had a green card or citizenship before your marriage, he might be using you for a place to stay, money or he might even be after your life insurance. The guy you just described is using you, he does not love you.

Gbaaam, but these Americanas ladies won't hear. Leave Naija men alone,they won't. She knows deep down her heart that she is being used but will act otherwise. That's why she's all out and about looking for others to tell her what she already knows.
I know one very obese and not good looking woman that a friend is married to,ppl have warned her but she won't hear. The guys papers, Green card and citizenship is out, the guy has already perfected his way of bailing on her,no remorse. Since they operate a joint account, he wants to leave the money for her. He has a naija wife who he plans on bringing to the US.

Sparkle777:


Gbaaam, but these Americanas ladies won't hear. Leave Naija men alone,they won't. She knows deep down her heart that she is being used but will act otherwise. That's why she's all out and about looking for others to tell her what she already knows.
I know one very obese and not good looking woman that a friend is married to,ppl have warned her but she won't hear. The guys papers, Green card and citizenship is out, the guy has already perfected his way of bailing on her,no remorse. Since they operate a joint account, he wants to leave the money for her. He has a naija wife who he plans on bringing to the US.

Ok so when your nigerian lady friends marry outside of the their tribe or country affiliations, do they get bashed or say they are being used? How stupid is this argument. You’re calling your countrymen liars for marrying outside and generalizing, which is being racist even towards yourselves. Do you even know what Love is?

By the way how’s y’all relationships going with your apparent men that’s in your tribe are they good did they always stay or did they leave?

Please I even hear Nigerian men faithful with 4 children of their beautiful Nigerian spouse (of their own ethnic group) leaving their wife to go remarry someone else. But it’s a Two way street ... maybe we don’t hear the full story


If you think being a Nigerian is a prerequisite to another Nigerian loving you then your mind has been so closed and I even feel sorry for you. I hope you get a piece of open mind because this logic is sad.

You could mention plenty success stories (they are there) but you instead want to convince yourself of some small percentage of things going wrong.

It’s a lonely mentality for you

Unfortunately I don't have many friends. Thanks, though.

Good make them fight for your loyalty someone like you deserves something real

Roshina22:


Thanks I like ur response

thanks I appreciate

[quote author=Roshina22 post=78497203]My husband is Nigerian and I’m not he recently came to my country we are married and now I’m pregnant. I know quite a bit about culture in Nigeria as I’ve known many people there before, but something is new to me.

I may have a hard time trusting because of misunderstanding of culture but I get a feeling it may not just be that. He talks to so many women on WhatsApp and Facebook every day and likes there pictures. He even sometimes sends long emotional emails to his ex about moving on and when she cries he sends her emails about it being ok.

I told him to stop talking to her because he’s with me and our unborn child and not to have it affect our family...

But the thing is he chats with so many women on Facebook and what’s app and I’m so worried. Even when he does he hides his phone and deleted chats because he says “when you see the woman calling me saying hi dear it just means they say that to everyone”.
I know everyone in Nigeria can start off there sentence with hi dear, it could mean nothing but why does he need to talk to so many women online everyday? He said it’s rude to ignore people and if one bad word is said about him it could spread to anyone so he tries not to ignore to be nice. I saw him chatting ardently with a young girl from his village and he was asking her a lot of questions... I just didn’t understand why he had to be doing that and his response was “what if I want to be a politician one day”. It just makes me never want him to go back to Nigeria because I’m so aftraid one of these ladies he’s gonna meet up with and they will do something one day

I’m really afraid of being cheated on. I don’t chat with many men or entertain them. I don’t like their pictures and don’t feel the need to chat with so many men every day. If I ignore them it’s becquse they should know I love my husband.

My main question is is it normal for Nigerian men to chat with many many women online and on WhatsApp and Facebook like their pictures and chat away Like this? Sometimes late at night too... am I being lied to or at risk of being cheated on? Because it really feels like it. I’m already pregnant and dedicated so much time. Please this really bothers me what can I do? He won’t give up talking to them.

The thing is I don’t think his brothers are like this so why is he like that? I just don’t understand.

Roshina22:


Ok so when your nigerian lady friends marry outside of the their tribe or country affiliations, do they get bashed or say they are being used? How stupid is this argument. You’re calling your countrymen liars for marrying outside and generalizing, which is being racist even towards yourselves. Do you even know what Love is?

By the way how’s y’all relationships going with your apparent men that’s in your tribe are they good did they always stay or did they leave?

Please I even hear Nigerian men faithful with 4 children of their beautiful Nigerian spouse (of their own ethnic group) leaving their wife to go remarry someone else. But it’s a Two way street ... maybe we don’t hear the full story


If you think being a Nigerian is a prerequisite to another Nigerian loving you then your mind has been so closed and I even feel sorry for you. I hope you get a piece of open mind because this logic is sad.

You could mention plenty success stories (they are there) but you instead want to convince yourself of some small percentage of things going wrong.

It’s a lonely mentality for you

As for now you seem to fall into the small percentage.

Emaprince:
Do you females cut off your online male friends after getting married?

If it was the other way round, you will boldly tell the OP that he is insecure and worried over a harmless chat between Hus spouse and her friends. I have seen a lot of this on this NL...Heck, many of the married women in this Nairaland are in Romance flirting day and night.

You all are on FB and I.G posting up sexy pics for compliments and flirting with several males because you women are constantly on the look out for validation from different males. You want men to tell you how sexy you look. How big your yansh and boobs are...just like some of these married celebrities and OAPs.

But you want a man to remain dull and not talk to another female? GTFOH!!!

For your mind now, you think you have made some points, lol

If you don't want your wife to get compliments from the men give her the compliments and admire her so that she won't seek for it outside

Af for you men, you are serial chitts and you will ever remain so.
If the women decides to start chitting like you guys, let them have their ways too

They were not moulded but created and they have blood in them too

Roshina22:


It’s a dangerous place for stupid people who don’t have an independent mind, for intelligent people it’s fun

Exactly... My Facebook, Instagram, whatsapp are mainly to chat with old friends and advertise my business.

Nothing more.

Sometimes I do not go online on Facebook for 2 weeks, but the app is on my phone.

Everyone talking of scam, papers and all other Nonsense.

There are good men and women everywhere.

Thanks.

Roshina22:


Lmao was this supposed to be funny? Cause I chuckled. Some of y’all are kinda dumb on here

That includes you Morôn!

PrincessJr:
That includes you Morôn!

princess junior, so you’re not a princess you’re the junior of a princess? This world is so interesting

Roshina22:


princess junior, so you’re not a princess you’re the junior of a princess? This world is so interesting

U sound dumber now jeeez! Swerve and go help ur husband chain his dangling reptile. Only a dumbb-asś like you will buy into those silly excuses ur man gives for philandering, you fit him better!

PrincessJr:
U sound dumber now jeeez! Swerve and go help ur husband chain his dangling reptile. Only a dumbb-asś like you will buy into those silly excuses ur man gives for philandering, you fit him better!

thanks for the entertainment have a great day internet stranger

frozen70:


For your mind now, you think you have made some points, lol

If you don't want your wife to get compliments from the men give her the compliments and admire her so that she won't seek for it outside

Af for you men, you are serial chitts and you will ever remain so.
If the women decides to start chitting like you guys, let them have their ways too

They were not moulded but created and they have blood in them too

But women cheat more than men na.. The only difference is they are too secretive with it while men do it openly.

What are you saying? Women are worse.

Is there a Girl in this country without two or three BF?

Fourwinds:
who says it is me that has fears... You need metal and psychological understanding of family affairs ...Akuya

Just look at this idiot.

Who says I was actually referring to you?

No wonder you took it so personal.

In case you don't know, the "you" in my post is actually referring to anyone who considers themselves to be in a relationship with me. I am only trying to describe how I will relate to a jealous partner who is scared because I still talk or chat with my friends.

Roshina22:


I dunno who u are but you definitely felt that message and that’s why u responded.

I responded because I wanted to make a contribution which is why I made the suggestion that you should first try to let him know that his actions make you very very uncomfortable.

I don't know who you are too. I don't know where you've been. I don't know what you may have experienced in life. But that will not stop me from telling you the reality.

And here's the reality.

In Igboland, we have a saying that ''you will surely see what you want to see.''

Your whole thoughts is centered on your husband cheating on you, which explains why you deem each and every of his move as cheating not minding that the people he's even having the said conversations with are thousands of miles away from you guys but yet, you can't just let sleeping dogs lie.

Now, here's the truth.

Your husband will still leave you. At some point, he will get tired of your mistrust, your unnecessary and harassing questions, your possessiveness, your clingy attitude, your jealousy, your insecurities...

He will just simply opt out.

And then, your worst fears will become a reality.

It's only a matter of time...

bluefilm:


I responded because I wanted to make a contribution which is why I made the suggestion that you should first try to let him know that his actions make you very very uncomfortable.

I don't know who you are too. I don't know where you've been. I don't know what you may have experienced in life. But that will not stop me from telling you the reality.

And here's the reality.

In Igboland, we have a saying that ''you will surely see what you want to see.''

Your whole thoughts is centered on your husband cheating on you, which explains why you deem each and every of his move as cheating not minding that the people he's even having the said conversations with are thousands of miles away from you guys but yet, you can't just let sleeping dogs lie.

Now, here's the truth.

Your husband will still leave you. At some point, he will get tired of your mistrust, your unnecessary and harassing questions, your possessiveness, your clingy attitude, your jealousy, your insecurities...

He will just simply opt out.

And then, your worst fears will become a reality.

It's only a matter of time...

have fun in lala land with your big grand god like theories. remember lucifer went to hell because he tried to play god. bye

[quote author=lilianofentse post=78529801]Come to south Africa and you'll know what real cheating entails. Nigerian men cheat also but they know how to love thier wives fully. They don't beat thier wives as much as South Africa

..

Roshina just persevere ok, , it's gonna be fine.Love conquers and since you really love him, you will surely overcomAnyways, I'd like you to hook me up with any good female friend of yours ok.I'm a ladies man and I love real good.martiniyke12@gmail.com-my email add.

Roshina22:


Ok so when your nigerian lady friends marry outside of the their tribe or country affiliations, do they get bashed or say they are being used? How stupid is this argument. You’re calling your countrymen liars for marrying outside and generalizing, which is being racist even towards yourselves. Do you even know what Love is?

By the way how’s y’all relationships going with your apparent men that’s in your tribe are they good did they always stay or did they leave?

Please I even hear Nigerian men faithful with 4 children of their beautiful Nigerian spouse (of their own ethnic group) leaving their wife to go remarry someone else. But it’s a Two way street ... maybe we don’t hear the full story


If you think being a Nigerian is a prerequisite to another Nigerian loving you then your mind has been so closed and I even feel sorry for you. I hope you get a piece of open mind because this logic is sad.

You could mention plenty success stories (they are there) but you instead want to convince yourself of some small percentage of things going wrong.

It’s a lonely mentality for you

Nne, u came here asking ooh. Now u see answers, ur mouth don loud. Yet to see u answer the guys ex, abi u no see her reply?
Since u know u and ur hubby are one of a kind,then why come here to wail? Apparently u knew, married and got pregnant all in less than 5months...love indeed. Anyway, since u feel he is ur soul mate....Enjoy. I can't be arguing wit women like u biko.

Roshina22:
My husband is Nigerian and I’m not he recently came to my country we are married and now I’m pregnant. I know quite a bit about culture in Nigeria as I’ve known many people there before, but something is new to me.

I may have a hard time trusting because of misunderstanding of culture but I get a feeling it may not just be that. He talks to so many women on WhatsApp and Facebook every day and likes there pictures. He even sometimes sends long emotional emails to his ex about moving on and when she cries he sends her emails about it being ok.

I told him to stop talking to her because he’s with me and our unborn child and not to have it affect our family...

But the thing is he chats with so many women on Facebook and what’s app and I’m so worried. Even when he does he hides his phone and deleted chats because he says “when you see the woman calling me saying hi dear it just means they say that to everyone”.
I know everyone in Nigeria can start off there sentence with hi dear, it could mean nothing but why does he need to talk to so many women online everyday? He said it’s rude to ignore people and if one bad word is said about him it could spread to anyone so he tries not to ignore to be nice. I saw him chatting ardently with a young girl from his village and he was asking her a lot of questions... I just didn’t understand why he had to be doing that and his response was “what if I want to be a politician one day”. It just makes me never want him to go back to Nigeria because I’m so aftraid one of these ladies he’s gonna meet up with and they will do something one day

I’m really afraid of being cheated on. I don’t chat with many men or entertain them. I don’t like their pictures and don’t feel the need to chat with so many men every day. If I ignore them it’s becquse they should know I love my husband.

My main question is is it normal for Nigerian men to chat with many many women online and on WhatsApp and Facebook like their pictures and chat away Like this? Sometimes late at night too... am I being lied to or at risk of being cheated on? Because it really feels like it. I’m already pregnant and dedicated so much time. Please this really bothers me what can I do? He won’t give up talking to them.

The thing is I don’t think his brothers are like this so why is he like that? I just don’t understand.

Aunty he is just one of our numerous typical Cheats with PhD in lying. I feel sorry for you sha.
But the best solution is payback... Start and I swear he will be the one to beg you.

Sparkle777:


Nne, u came here asking ooh. Now u see answers, ur mouth don loud. Yet to see u answer the guys ex, abi u no see her reply?
Since u know u and ur hubby are one of a kind,then why come here to wail? Apparently u knew, married and got pregnant all in less than 5months...love indeed. Anyway, since u feel he is ur soul mate....Enjoy. I can't be arguing wit women like u biko.

Many people actually got married after 3 months of meeting each other and they are happy.

The person claiming the ex stayed for 4 years despite knowing the man is a womanizer? And she still wants the man back... Something must be good about the man.

He is chatting girls far away from him, probably old friends.

It is very good to be concerned when your lover or spouse is chatting more women or men.

In everything, respect the feelings of your husband or wife.

Dear Roshina22.
Any weapon fashioned against your marriage will never prosper.
Amen.