What would you advise a lady who is Afriad of sex, commitment in relationship and scared of getting married due to horrible past experience?
Do you think is normal? Please your view on this.

She should open up to her pastor/priest and seek for guidance and counselling.

wait it out, it passes.
just keep praying and working on yourself.

xendra:
wait it out, it passes.

just keep praying and working on yourself.

Good reply. Just wondering if it was a guy, would your response have been different?

celeb4reallife:
What would you advise a lady who is Afriad of sex, commitment in relationship and scared of getting married due to horrible past experience?
Do you think is normal? Please your view on this.

What is your age range?

celeb4reallife:
What would you advise a lady who is Afriad of sex, commitment in relationship and scared of getting married due to horrible past experience?
Do you think is normal? Please your view on this.

Only she can decide what she wants. If shes comfortable with her status i see no problem there. Make she just go register as a nun.

However, if she wants to change status quo, she should seek help from a therapist.

dingbang:
She should open up to her pastor/priest and seek for guidance and counselling.

Noted

xendra:
wait it out, it passes.

just keep praying and working on yourself.

Noted. Thanks

Osyxcel:


Good reply. Just wondering if it was a guy, would the response have been different?

I think it's application for both gender.

PuZZyNegro:


What is your age range?

An adult.

Sexual assault violates an intimacy that can shatter a victim's trust in all relationships so it is very normal to feel anxious/apprehensive about entering one afterwards. Also note that not all survivors of rape respond in the same way.

She should go at her own pace, see a therapist, prayer may help if that’s what she’s into but along with pragmatic, professional medical help, not in place of. She may also find that speaking to other victims in similar situations may help the process too.

celeb4reallife:
An adult.

How adult are you?

PuZZyNegro:


How adult are you?

.

ibkayee:
Sexual assault violates an intimacy that can shatter a victim's trust in all relationships so it is very normal to feel anxious/apprehensive about entering one afterwards. Also note that not all survivors of rape respond in the same way.

She should go at her own pace, see a therapist, prayer may help if that’s what she’s into but along with pragmatic, professional medical help, not in place of. She may also find that speaking to other victims in similar situations may help the process too.

Thanks for sharing

Osyxcel:


Good reply. Just wondering if it was a guy, would your response have been different?

Oh you mean if a guy is going through same? yea, I believe it's a process, most of this things tend to lighten with time, and if you meet the right person the process becomes quicker.

xendra:
Oh you mean if a guy is going through same? yea, I believe it's a process, most of this things tend to lighten with time, and if you meet the right person the process becomes quicker.

Spot on! In extreme cases, just like someone suggested, therapy should be considered. In the end, it all depends on meeting the right person, just like you said.

It depends on the age range, for a younger adult, the person can wait it out but for an older adult, the person might need serious counseling or need to even visit a therapist.

In my opinion..

Therapist.... He/she can talk to one it helps..A lot of people thinks it's a waste of money..I have seen someone mentioned pastors.. Pastors are not qualified therapists, people go to them in third world countries because they can't afford a real qualified therapist..

Reassurance... To take that baby steps again, He/she must start confessing within; that everyone is not like the EXS... within some period he/she will start beliving...one's reassurance that he/she was not at fault helps to ie (forgiving one's self )

He/she should not rush it... take one step at a time... a broken person needs patience and time to heal...

Thanks for sharing @ Richy4, @chiii8, @osyxcel

celeb4reallife:
What would you advise a lady who is Afriad of sex, commitment in relationship and scared of getting married due to horrible past experience?
Do you think is normal? Please your view on this.

Fear of sex and commitment/marriage are totally different issues.

Do you care to explain more?

bukatyne:


Fear of sex and commitment/marriage are totally different issues.

Do you care to explain more?

It was self explanatory enough Dear except if u wanted gist...In case you still don't understand, then let me try and explain

First probability ...it means that the lady was forced into sex without adequate preparation or when she was not ready for it by a partner or an inexperienced lover...And the experience was equal to hell here on earth...

Second probability... the Lady was a rape victim..

Third probability... She may have witnessed a close one that went through hell either being Raped or intense marriage crisis by a bad partner...

So the thought of that repeating it's self again scares the crap out of her.. i guess I don't need to explain the correlation between sex and marriage right?

Oh! By the way anyone going through that doesn't always wanna talk about it... expecially victims of rape..

I hope this has given you a bird view of what OP was talking about ...

Richy4:


It was self explanatory enough Dear except if u wanted gist...In case you still don't understand, then let me try and explain

First probability ...it means that the lady was forced into sex without adequate preparation or when she was not ready for it by a partner or an inexperienced lover...And the experience was equal to hell here on earth...

Second probability... the Lady was a rape victim..

Third probability... She may have witnessed a close one that went through hell either being Raped or intense marriage crisis by a bad partner...

So the thought of that repeating it's self again scares the crap out of her.. i guess I don't need to explain the correlation between sex and marriage right?

Oh! By the way anyone going through that doesn't always wanna talk about it... expecially victims of rape..

I hope this has given you a bird view of what OP was talking about ...

You will refuse to get in a fight yet you have a way of subtly irking someone. She asked you! Anyways, we hope all none of these your hypotheses happened to her. She might be like my cute friend who was just scared of sexxx due to all the stories we told her about the bad first time. Plus, the sight of a kini was too much for her to handle as an invasion into her privacy given that she once struggled with a tampon back in the days( tampons aren't popular here for lots of reasons). Long story short, it finally happened when she was 31yrs old...since then, she's turned to be the one with the best experience when it comes to sexxx. Each time it's gist time...she always talk quality .

OP, don't be so afraid. Just relax....let your mind take its time to be ready. No rush for sexx, relationship, marriage or anything relating to the boys. Their wahala is plenty especially when they aren't ready too. Cheers.

Don't talk to any pastor.
Many men and women of the pulpit are sexual predators in disguise.
We are in an age where information is free yet we act like we are in chains. Why?

There is nothing a pastor can say that cannot be found in a book.

Thanks@Richy45, @sisisioge, @Valcon88.
Pastor or religious leader is not one of the option here at all.
General view from well experienced and intelligent people like you all is good enough.

sisisioge:




You will refuse to get in a fight yet you have a way of subtly irking someone. She asked you! Anyways, we hope all none of these your hypotheses happened to her. She might be like my cute friend who was just scared of sexxx due to all the stories we told her about the bad first time. Plus, the sight of a kini was too much for her to handle as an invasion into her privacy given that she once struggled with a tampon back in the days( tampons aren't popular here for lots of reasons). Long story short, it finally happened when she was 31yrs old...since then, she's turned to be the one with the best experience when it comes to sexxx. Each time it's gist time...she always talk quality .

OP, don't be so afraid. Just relax....let your mind take it time to be ready. No rush for sexx, relationship, marriage or anything relating to the boys. Their wahala is plenty especially when they aren't ready too. Cheers.

You know me too well.. It was not my intention to pick a fight online...I hated online combat as a matter of fact. It's not my thing .. It's not even a gentlemanly thing to do... I'm not a fan of irritating questions too... u know that kinda question where one fakes as if he/she doesn't have the faintest idea on what the topic was...The Lady might not want to share if not, she would have done so..... As it is, She has given enough information that anyone wishing to give an opinion can speculate and work with... it's now her job to compile the information she gathered and take the ones relevant to her case.. Someone that is not a professional in that field subtly asking her to share that might not be the best idea...it might leave her vulnerable..