This one na nagging woman. I dnt see any thing that will push a man outside if the woman is cool.

You’re a mor0nic hypocrite

Earthquake2:


You're a sad person, she doesn't want to hit him

She just wants what's best for her

Needtolove:


Just this morning she had the nerve to come to my apartment with her room mate to clarify some house issues. The nerve of all of them. Really want to make them pay. Really want to make my husband suffer.

No doubt... your husband has disrespected you ... and making others do...in your home. Having a 4 month old makes it even worse. That's not normal for an African man...or any other man. Why would he be boasting of cheating?...and at the same time body shaming you? Real men don't do that period.
I advise you not to be planning any violence against him nor his side chick...or you may serve time for such an offence. Next time she comes around... be polite... ask her if she knows his status?...HIV status..... if she says no... then tell her she needs to find out... that he himself may not even know...then end the conversation with....I know what talking about.m

What if her husband is the devil you've been hearing about?

There is room for forgiveness and even more room when that person is remorseful and apologize.

kennygee:


You people who always stress on infidelity, isn't there room for forgiveness?

I use to say "if my husband cheats on me, I'll leave". But wisdom has taught me better.

The mess in her home might just be the devil's way of pushing her out of her home for a strange woman to enter.

It is not a battle she can fight with force and quarrels.

Born2Breed:


Now you have let out the steam,hope you are now okay.

Since you don't need ADVICE and want to quit the marriage, what are you waiting for?

When you are done,please show us the divorce paper and goodluck in your single motherhood or next marriage.

Me,I will only warn you, cos you didn't say you don't want warning...The day you quit the marriage, your neighbour will waka in jejely and take over.

And the neighbour taking over, what does that have to do with her well being IF she decides to leave the foolish man

The cheating is not even what is sickening
It's his brazen foolishness and the fact that MANY Women think it is O.K. to be treated like $hit in that way.

If he had "pretended" to be remorse or at least NOT disrespecting the wife after finding out, that would have been a different case....

But that brazen act of disrespect should not be tolerated by any woman at all.

And the neighbour taking over will even be at her detriment because like it's said in Yoruba
the cane dem use flog first wife is still available for service

one day he will get tired of her

And move to the next thing that freaks him

trapQ:
What if her husband is the devil you've been hearing about?

There is room for forgiveness and even more room when that person is remorseful and apologize.

your second paragraph is precisely the point I'm making

Woman went all out looking for evidence, she got what she was looking out for . If I catch my wife cheating, she's gone, in na she catch me too shae is gone na waoh

ojkalito:
Did you know life is short? Would you rather spend it with one who body shame you, abuse you emotionally and mentally or live independently and be free of the aforementioned?

you know the funny thing

most of the people suggesting she prays and stay put and all that are WOMEN while many of us calling out the foolishness of the man are MEN LIKE US

That should tell you something
the way a lot of women have been conditioned (by their mothers and other women in the society) is very unfortunate

the day women in general ditch such conditioning
Men in general will have no choice than to respect them at least

It's terrible

LordofNaija:
Woman went all out looking for evidence, she got what she was looking out for . If I catch my wife cheating, she's gone, in na she catch me too shae is gone na waoh

just imagine someone mindset

Bbbwings:
Which kin thrash be this

I'm surprised

mustwork:
I am a man but this pained me to my marrow. You don't deserve that after your baby.. pause and think please don't take any rash decision.

it pained me too

Frankiss44:



Even joblessness men mess up with wives that are bread winners, not just independent...


There is more to cheating that meets the ordinary eyes.. And it is getting worse these days because sex is so cheap right now

more like people are no longer disciplined

Gone are the days when it was a thing of pride to be chaste AS A MAN or WOMAN


Gone are the days when women will rather not sleep around

or men respect themselves and see a woman.who wants to lure him to bed as that dangerous woman the book of proverbs painted her to be...

Now everyone is looking for thrills and their lack of discipline is destroying them and families...

these days married women and men are messing themselves up...

Frankiss44:



Very silly putting all the blame on the innocent woman and not even a swipe at the goat that calls himself a husband... One thing is to cheat, another thing is to justify it and even insult the woman you married because of a slut that is probably sharing the pussy to every dick and Harry...


The man is goat and the woman needs some form of separation from him, even if divorce isn't the immediate solution.

That is one part the foolish man may not realize

That pussy he is fvcking is EVERY ONES pussy

JoannaSedley:
WHAT IS THIS FOR CHRIST SAKE
She should pray for him to do what exactly? To continue hurting her by being an African man?
Pray for him for hurting and body shaming the mother of his kids?
It is her fault that her husband is a community penis

This advise is beyond unbelievable.


Op, you are hurting deeply so get out of that house before they kill you or you kill them. That horseband of yours will open the door of your house for his concubines to kill or maim you when you least expect it.
Be careful.

This one leaves me speechless and quite dazed. Are men really this low. Who made her breast flat? Wasn't it him sharing baby's property?

Anyway op was he like this before marriage? Is he a Muslim? Its only them that can make this statement of polygamy brazenly. Even at that it was poorly presented.

What could he have told them for them to have guts to be coming into your house. As in flouting it in your face. I won't even be surprised if he has a 3 some on your matrimonial bed. What I see is a pig.

I would advise you inform your Pastor, his family too and yours should be informed.
I think you need to leave the house for now.

I can't advise you to quit your marriage but don't take that decision for now. Wait to recover from the shock first. Get spiritual counsel from your Pastor, I assume you are a Christian.

Remember he could infect you or have infected you with STD. Visit your doctor for medical assessment.

I hope you are financially buoyant cos that may be why he disregards you. Seek legal counsel too. Good luck.

Mumu. Let your wife cheat on you with your neighbor and call you pot bellied so you can take your own advice and try to win her love back.

Chiefochiefo:
The only problem am seeing here is you. Yes YOU!
It is you because you are porknosing, it is you because you are not minding your business, it is you because you left a four month old baby looking for a proof that is worthless, it is you because you have left your former life as a beautiful woman to a full time mama, and it is you because you fail to understand that a man whose wife just gave birth will have to leave her for sex for sometimes.
My advise is this, since he has told you your faults, try and make up, pretend like you don't mind his mess again, give yourself time, build up your morales, be jovial, focus on making yourself beautiful like when he first met you. Remember, women has the gift of beauty. Do this, your hubby will come back to you magically. It's an advise.

Ugosample:


And the neighbour taking over, what does that have to do with her well being IF she decides to leave the foolish man

The cheating is not even what is sickening
It's his brazen foolishness and the fact that MANY Women think it is O.K. to be treated like $hit in that way.

If he had "pretended" to be remorse or at least NOT disrespecting the wife after finding out, that would have been a different case....

But that brazen act of disrespect should not be tolerated by any woman at all.

And the neighbour taking over will even be at her detriment because like it's said in Yoruba
the cane dem use flog first wife is still available for service

one day he will get tired of her

And move to the next thing that freaks him

Most men cheats, its in their nature but they can be easily tamed.

Women who quit their marriages because of the dog mentality of most men,are not ready to stay married. What gives her the impression that her single motherhood or next marriage will fare better.

Women must have the "we die here" mentality. Men are extremely jealous even if they pretend they aren't. There are things the OP (who doesn't needs advice) can do that will tame that man and take his cheating habit not only very far away but very discreet about it.

He cheats with her neighbour and body shame her then she want to quit. Then making the man and the neighbour feel victorious.

Who does that?

First of all, let me apologise on his behalf. All I have to say is that some women will look sexy just to get married once married they careless about their looks.

My own is that women must continuously look good and attractive so their spouses won't cheat. Btw, marriage is for matured minds and not for everybody. That man should have known never to date a neighbor for national peace.

Boss13:


First I’m skeptical about the thread. Don’t know if it’s true or not. However, some women can be crafty and her aim is to kick the wife out. The wife is already considering that option and if she’s Hell bent on that, I wish her the best.

The husband messed up. You don’t bring your shit home. Respect your family.

very correct

Born2Breed:


Most men cheats, its in their nature but they can be easily tamed.

Women who quit their marriages because of the dog mentality of most men,are not ready to stay married. What gives her the impression that her single motherhood or next marriage will fare better.

Women must have the "we die here" mentality. Men are extremely jealous even if they pretend they aren't. There are things the OP (who doesn't needs advice) can do that will tame that man and take his cheating habit not only very far away but very discreet about it.

It is the nature of HUMANS to crave multiple partners

Just like other barbaric things that are in our nature but we CURB because we are higher animals

Laws are put in place to curb the nature and instincts of man just so you know

And it is social conditioning that has made it seem that it is okay to "cheat" / have multiple partners for a man, while it is frowned against for a woman.....

such conditioning have given MEN today and in recent past
the INCENTIVE to behave in such manner

I don't want to go too deep into sociology /anthropology tho
but those who understand do know that the instinct to act like animals are in us, as humans, and what makes us humans is the ability to TAME such nature and be disciplined /responsible


That said....

A good number of men do...

A good number Don't and will never do

This may be disconcerting to you, but that is the truth

A man who is given NO incentive to cheat will not
same as women

In cultures that do not shame women for their sexuality, or does not condition women the way women were conditioned in nigeria for instance,
even in marriage many still play away matches and they are sexually liberal


The point of this long story is that because the society (especially women) have created that conditioning for men / given them the incentive to cheat/behave in such manner, that is why they are doing so brazenly

If this LADY'S QUESTION na EXAMINATION, more than 90 percent of the people that commented would have failed woefully.

She clearly said she doesn't need any ADVICE, meanwhile 95% failed that part...

SageMK:
Sorry you have to go through this but I am glad you've made up your mind to divorce him. Life is just too short.

Anyway, allow me to correct a misconception you have.



African men aren't what your husband painted us out to be. The fact that he's a scumbag and he lacks decency have nothing to do with his race or the colour of his skin.

He knows you've feelings. He just doesn't care at all. So call out your husband for his crimes but do not bash us along. If only you scrutinized him well before marriage...

Thanks for that bro. I count myself out of his type of 'African man'. He's a pig.

opribo:
First of all, let me apologise on his behalf. All I have to say is that some women will look sexy just to get married once married they careless about their looks.

My own is that women must continuously look good and attractive so their spouses won't cheat. Btw, marriage is for matured minds and not for everybody. That man should have known never to date a neighbor for national peace.

This is what I often tell women around me tho

this is me flipping the script

When you get married to a man, you have signed up a responsibility to take care of his needs, he did same too

And one of the top 5 needs of a man is SEX

And when YOU do not cater to such need, or you don't see it as a priority (which btw a good number of women don t, hence that repulsive phrase "is sex food? " ) a man has needs and he is at greater risk of getting it elsewhere
taking care of yourself to attract him to you in the way you can (Does not have to be Kim Kardashian perfection tho) to cater to his need is one of the duties of a wife

It's like how women who don't get their emotional need catered to by theyr husband shift to their kids to cover that need (especially sons, and when such sons are about getting married, wahala sets in {troublemaker MIL } )

But men do not have such advantage, we cannot be nacking our offspring

I just think men and women in long term relationships (marriage id a form of long term relationship btw) should do all that can go cater to the needs of their spouse

And on a side note @opribo
I read of a woman who said she "outsourced" her responsibility to third party (Oyibo people and bizarre life )

since according to her she cannot fill in the gap, her husband is free to be one of these sex tourists who go to Thailand to attend to his needs

As long as its that far away
I was likr

but if that works for them, why not?

APOPTOSIS:
If this LADY'S QUESTION na EXAMINATION, more than 90 percent of the people that commented would have failed woefully.

She clearly said she doesn't need any ADVICE, meanwhile 95% failed that part...

many of us still dropped the advice because we know she is talking out of anger

when body cool down

sensibilities will return

Nice piece there.

quote author=kennygee post=79013719]Dear woman, I can imagine the emotional and psychological pain you're going thru, however, making a decision right now might not be wise cause it will be an emotional one.

Just keep praying for him and ask God for strength to overcome. It is only when there's a crack in the wall that a lizard can enter.

Start working out the little way you can, start dressing really nice, so nice you'll get compliments outside. It will improve your self esteem, wear make up, smell nice. It might not stop him from cheating but it will build up your self esteem and confidence so much that you'll see you're not the problem.

You'll be in a better place to decide if you want to stay with him or leave.

All the best.

I hope you have a job or a business sha?

Cause the best security a woman can have is her own money.[/quote]

Nice piece there.

quote author=kennygee post=79013719]Dear woman, I can imagine the emotional and psychological pain you're going thru, however, making a decision right now might not be wise cause it will be an emotional one.

Just keep praying for him and ask God for strength to overcome. It is only when there's a crack in the wall that a lizard can enter.

Start working out the little way you can, start dressing really nice, so nice you'll get compliments outside. It will improve your self esteem, wear make up, smell nice. It might not stop him from cheating but it will build up your self esteem and confidence so much that you'll see you're not the problem.

You'll be in a better place to decide if you want to stay with him or leave.

All the best.

I hope you have a job or a business sha?

Cause the best security a woman can have is her own money.[/quote][color=#990000][/color]
Nice piece

CHoccolaTE:
I have even heard of worse cases than OPs.
There was one married man that told his wife to call his side chic and apologise to her after the wife warned the side chic to leave her husband.

My former neighbour beat his wife till her nose broke and was bleeding all over her dress because the stupid man wanted to invite the girlfriend to the house and his wife locked the door and hid the key.


These are just few, I know many other horrifying cases of married men acting like beasts to their wives because in Africa nobody cautions them.
Funny thing is that the baby you bore is for his family and bears his name and will carry on his lineage. But he is body shaming you for losing your beauty after having the child.

Madam OP, if you are open to using diabolical means against him please do so. Or get people to severely beat him up and wound him seriously.
Or just ignore him and bear. If na me I will put little quantities of me and my babies piss and shit in his every meal I prepare for him along with using diabolical means against him.
I love revenge, I don't joke with it.

Psycho!!!

Come and marry me and see.......you will eat more than my poo by the time I finish with you.

And you dey advise person, bitter bitter Bshh.

Thank you all for your kind words, I am putting myself together piece by piece and saving up gradually. Still at the house because of my baby. I will wait it out, but am planning my exit. I won't do anything that will land me in trouble because of my baby. Learning to be selfish too.

Stevecyes:
Nice piece there.

quote author=kennygee post=79013719]Dear woman, I can imagine the emotional and psychological pain you're going thru, however, making a decision right now might not be wise cause it will be an emotional one.

Just keep praying for him and ask God for strength to overcome. It is only when there's a crack in the wall that a lizard can enter.

Start working out the little way you can, start dressing really nice, so nice you'll get compliments outside. It will improve your self esteem, wear make up, smell nice. It might not stop him from cheating but it will build up your self esteem and confidence so much that you'll see you're not the problem.

You'll be in a better place to decide if you want to stay with him or leave.

All the best.

I hope you have a job or a business sha?

Cause the best security a woman can have is her own money.[color=#990000][/color]
Nice piece

thank you, I have a job. In the past I prayed for him but my patience ran out so I stopped. Still don't feel like. I am the only one that matters now

Men why

I know uv read many comments.
Mine is......don't react or do anything now. Ignore what's happening. It is hard tho. But l repeat DO NOTHING NOW. Patience will lead u right.
So u won't av to say 'had l know'