Pls mature advice needed and pls no insults, I have already insulted myself enough.

I have already posted about this same guy here last year and I'm sorry for not following your advice

To cut the story short, I have been dating my bf for almost a year now and we always have unprotected sex but he always pulls out and I always take drugs

But I didn't take any last month because he pulled out and too much of contraceptive drugs is not good for the body, I didn't think anything will happen since he didn't cum inside me, my biggest regret.

Last week, I didn't see my period so I used the pt strip test and it was positive, I also went for blood test and it was still positive

I informed him about it and he told me to go for abortion, when I refused he was so mean to me and told me that it's not his business that I should not call or visit him again,
I was so sad, it felt like he literally ripped off my heart, I cried all day, I couldn't stop crying.

So I decided to go for the abortion, when I checked how its done online, I was so scared, I couldn't bring myself to kill a life inside me

So I decided to let his family know even though they don't know me, I called his elder sister to explain after hearing my side she called her brother to confirm and he lied that he just met me and we had sex only once that I have been sleeping with other guys I was so shocked to hear that, because I really love him to the extreme that other guys don't even exist,
I told her that we now have DNA test that I'm not scared because I know that the baby is his, she believed me and told me not to see her parents, that I should settle it with him first

He came to see me and started begging me not to involve his family that I should go for the abortion, but I can't kill my child that was conceived out of love, at least from my own side

I'm just confused because if I tell his parents that would mean marriage and I can't stay in a loveless marriage
Pls advice needed

Why involve us now, when you were opening your legs up and down , did you seek our advice?

I'm just confused because if I tell his parents that would mean marriage and I can't stay in a loveless marriage

....did I hear loveless??.........so you were just there to satisfy him whenever he's on heat ..... To him you were just like an "Evening Newspaper" .......... Cause I don't see reasons why you would be opening your God-most-cherished "KPEKUS" every now and then to a bloke who doesn't appreciate your alignment in his life.....I mean without protection?... Your life your choice tho .................____but you see that baby... if you wanna live a ghost/fright free life.... please let the innocent child inhale the air of freedom...... Abortion is not the Answer to you life right now...... admit that you have failed __but someday you shall live to testify......
The guy would try to convince you... but tell him the truth.... be ready to face the consequences .....carrying his own baby doesn't guarantee marriage...... it was just a mistake.... let it be as it was.... don't allow anybody to force you to an unlawful marriage.....

Again DON'T EVER THINK OF ABORTTING THE INNOCENT CHILD...stay safe ..........
am off_____

Withdrawal method...80% unwanted pregnancy na dis method.

Don't abort the baby, keep the baby and raise him/her on your own. Since he doesn't love you let him be, it's a very sad thing to be in a loveless marriage. He might realize he's mistakes and makes amends later you never can tell.

Go for an abortion and move-on

The baby will set you back, considering you wont be married and will be a single parent. Am believing you a student or career lady.

Just be brave and go for it. The future is now. If you bring in what you not ready for now, It will hunt you in the future.

The lines show that neither the guy nor you wants it

Thank me later

Abortion is a NO NO.. what if you die

you already made the first mistake by getting pregnant, don't add to it... keep the baby, who knows what God's plan for you is.

Benekruku:
Go for an abortion and move-on

The baby will set you back, considering you wont be married and will be a single parent. Am believing you a student or career lady.

Just be brave and go for it. The future is now. If you bring in what you not ready for now, It will hunt you in the future.

The lines show that neither the guy nor you wants it

Thank me later

Whatever you do, don't take this advice that i quoted. It's evil


That child might be your only source of immense joy in the future. Just pick up yourself and be ready to face challenges. It will be worth it.

You don't have to marry him, tell his parents and keep the baby, no one will force you to marry him, at least his parents will be paying for child support even if the guy doesn't want

Destined2win:
Whatever you do, don't take this advice that i quoted. It's evil


That child might be your only source of immense joy in the future. Just pick up yourself and be ready to face challenges. It will be worth it.

Can you see its all riddled with uncertainty


"Might" and same time "ready to face challenges"


Stare at he reality facing you and act.

Unseen hopes they can only sell to you. Reality they will shy away from.



When the chips are down, you wont see any of this hopes cos its easier said than how it actually stares at you in reality

Tell his parents!

clearly it's the only leverage you have now. The sister is only taking his side with the whole " sort things with him first" she knows him and would believe what he says over you.

Please don't let him and his sister treat you as a back alley slutt. You deserve better.

I would suggest you tell both his parents first, and see their reaction, and tell yours too so some sort of agreement could be reach about the future of the baby by both families.

But you should also consider that single parenting is hard, and cost intensive. Very few Nigerian men wants a lady with child already so this is a decision you must not take lightly.

You would train that child alone, as your BF wouldn't be contributing anytime soon, please don't let your life be tired down by this if you are afraid and feel you aren't ready for a child, go for an abortion.

But if you can afford the cost , shame and parents are supporting enough it's better to keep the child.

I will be honest with you, it's easy to say keep the child but the journey is lonely and miserable, but aborting isn't better too because you would always wish and miss that child.

Op, have you told any one in your family? I think you should as you would need some 'strength' from them during the pregnancy journey because i will advise you to keep your baby regardless...

Gone are the days when single mothers find it hard to settle down; i know a handful of ladies in their late 30s& unmarried whose major regret is aborting their unborn for whatever reason.

Besides there are other options, you can visit a counselor, motherless homes and speak with whoever is in charge, get further details and know your options.
I wish you strength and grace for the journey ahead.

As for d guy, don't let him coerce you to doing it, cos you'd bear the pains (psychological,mental, social,spiritual etc) alone...for the now my lady, PLEASE DO ALL YOU CAN TO KEEP YOUR BABY

Deepfeel:
You don't have to marry him, tell his parents and keep the baby, no one will force you to marry him, at least his parents will be paying for child support even if the guy doesn't want

Exactly my thoughts, most Nigerian parents are welcoming of children even though they might not be pleased at first.

prettyem:
Op, have you told any one in your family? I think you should as you would need some 'strength' from them during the pregnancy journey because i will advise you to keep your baby regardless...

Gone are the days when single mothers find it hard to settle down; i know a handful of ladies in their late 30s& unmarried whose major regret is aborting their unborn for whatever reason.

Besides there are other options, you can visit a counselor, motherless homes and speak with whoever is in charge, get further details and know your options.
I wish you strength and grace for the journey ahead.

As for d guy, don't let him coerce you to doing it, cos you'd bear the pains (psychological,mental, social,spiritual etc) alone...for the now my lady, PLEASE DO ALL YOU CAN TO KEEP YOUR BABY

Thanks for rally round a sister. Great advice.

The earlier you inform and involve his family the better, pls keep the child and go for the DNA test.

I didn't like your earlier words but what you said later made sense, thanks

phelonrays:
....did I hear loveless??.........so you were just there to satisfy him whenever he's on heat ..... To him you were just like an "Evening Newspaper" .......... Cause I don't see reasons why you would be opening your God-most-cherished "KPEKUS" every now and then to a bloke who doesn't appreciate your alignment in his life.....I mean without protection?... Your life your choice tho .................____but you see that baby... if you wanna live a ghost/fright free life.... please let the innocent child inhale the air of freedom...... Abortion is not the Answer to you life right now...... admit that you have failed __but someday you shall live to testify......
The guy would try to convince you... but tell him the truth.... be ready to face the consequences .....carrying his own baby doesn't guarantee marriage...... it was just a mistake.... let it be as it was.... don't allow anybody to force you to an unlawful marriage.....

Again DON'T TRY TO ABORT THE INNOCENT CHILD ..........
am off_____

I'm just giving him today to decide before seeing his parents, thanks

2special:
The earlier you inform and involve his family the better, pls keep the child and go for the DNA test.

and you also involve your own family members while going.

Thanks a lot, I'm in my early 20s and I know that if I abort it will hunt me for life, I really don't want to live that way

prettyem:
Op, have you told any one in your family? I think you should as you would need some 'strength' from them during the pregnancy journey because i will advise you to keep your baby regardless...

Gone are the days when single mothers find it hard to settle down; i know a handful of ladies in their late 30s& unmarried whose major regret is aborting their unborn for whatever reason.

Besides there are other options, you can visit a counselor, motherless homes and speak with whoever is in charge, get further details and know your options.
I wish you strength and grace for the journey ahead.

As for d guy, don't let him coerce you to doing it, cos you'd bear the pains (psychological,mental, social,spiritual etc) alone...for the now my lady, PLEASE DO ALL YOU CAN TO KEEP YOUR BABY

Exactly, his family would accept me since he is even the only son, they aren't doing bad, so the cost to take care of the baby isn't the issue,
I don't want to bring my parents into it till I see his parents first, I can't believe that some guys can be so heartless

Amakavula:
Tell his parents! clearly it's the only leverage you have now. don't let him and his sister treat you as a back alley slutt. you deserve better.

I would suggest you tell both his parents and yours so some sort if agreement could be reach about the future of the baby.

But you should also consider that single parenting is hard, and cost intensive.

And that BF of yours wouldn't be contributing anytime soon, please don't let your life be tired down by this if you feel you aren't ready for a child, go for an abortion.

But if you can afford the cost , it's better to keep the child.

donbachi:
Withdrawal method...80% unwanted pregnancy na dis method.

gbam

Deepfeel:
You don't have to marry him, tell his parents and keep the baby, no one will force you to marry him, at least his parents will be paying for child support even if the guy doesn't want

thats true, marriage is the last thing on my mind since he treated me badly, he just need to take care of his child, thanks

extralargehead:
Why involve us now, when you were opening your legs up and down , did you seek our advice?

Don't insult her, just give advice. she needs support now not scoring, learn to have empathy.

Benekruku:
Go for an abortion and move-on

The baby will set you back, considering you wont be married and will be a single parent. Am believing you a student or career lady.

Just be brave and go for it. The future is now. If you bring in what you not ready for now, It will hunt you in the future.

The lines show that neither the guy nor you wants it

Thank me later

what if they are complications and I can't give birth later, I will be the one to bear it while he carry on with his life, and how do girls who commit abortion live with the guilt of killing a child u conceived, I'm not sure I can go through it. Thanks

Benekruku:
Go for an abortion and move-on

The baby will set you back, considering you wont be married and will be a single parent. Am believing you a student or career lady.

Just be brave and go for it. The future is now. If you bring in what you not ready for now, It will hunt you in the future.

The lines show that neither the guy nor you wants it

Thank me later

what if they are complications and I can't give birth later, I will be the one to bear it while he carry on with his life, and how do girls who commit abortion live with the guilt of killing a child u conceived, I'm not sure I can go through it. Thanks

oluwadamilolah:
Don't abort the baby, keep the baby and raise him/her on your own. Since he doesn't love you let him be, it's a very sad thing to be in a loveless marriage. He might realize he's mistakes and makes amends later you never can tell.

I don't want him again, I just want him to man up and take responsibility for his child, after all he was the one that always wanted it raw, thanks

Silverlove1:
what if they are complications and I can't give birth later, I will be the one to bear it while he carry on with his life, and how do girls who commit abortion live with the guilt of killing a child u conceived, I'm not sure I can go through it. Thanks

Their cant be complications. Abortion and chile delivery have gone past those ages when one is scared about complications or side effects.

You just need to be in the right hospital with the right doctors. Its like ABC.

And you wont have the guilt of bring a child that wont have an idea of what fatherly love is? That probably will grow up with a step dad.



And we just talking about the yet to be formed baby here, How about her own future. Her mental state and psych. She is human too and deserves a life of her own without hinderances or set-backs

Amakavula:
Don't insult her, just give advice. she needs support now not scoring, learn to have empathy.

thanks sis

Benekruku:


Their cant be complications. Abortion and chile delivery have gone past those ages when one is scared about complications or side effects.

You just need to be in the right hospital with the right doctors. Its like ABC.

And you wont have the guilt of bring a child that wont have an idea of what fatherly love is? That probably will grow up with a step dad.



And we just talking about the yet to be formed baby here, How about her own future. Her mental state and psych. She is human too and deserves a life of her own without hinderances or set-backs

I guess that's true, but I believe that abortion is a mortal sin, and I have a feeling something would go wrong, I refused to listen to my instincts telling me to take the drugs now look at where I am now, I'm really scared. Thanks