Please nairalanders, I need your opinion and advice though i expect a lot of bashing because it is normal here on nairaland.

I met this girl two years back and we started dating since 2017. We have been into each other since then.

Recently i went to see her parents just to make my intentions known. After that, we both traveled to see my parents also.

Ever since we came back from my village i have been having this thoughts of divorce. I have this feeling that i will seek for divorce immediately after the wedding. I don't want to have a broken home. I don't want to cheat on my wife because if i eventually marry her with the way i am thinking now i must cheat on her which i don't want to happen in my marriage. I am thinking of quiting the relationship but i don't know how to go about it, how she will react, what her family members will say and react. I am so confused.

Please i need your advice.

Obviously, you only want to marry her out of pity.

Give yourself some time and think about all these, marriage is different from dating.


Use your head.

LasLas:
Please nairalanders, I need your opinion and advice though i expect a lot of bashing because it is normal here on nairaland.
I met this girl two years back and we started dating since 2017. We have been into each other since then. Recently i went to see her parents just to make my intentions known. After that, we both traveled to see my parents also. Ever since we came back from my village i have been having this thoughts of divorce. I have this feeling that i will seek for divorce immediately after the wedding. I don't want to have a broken home. I don't want to cheat on my wife because if i eventually marry her with the way i am thinking now i must cheat on her which i don't want to happen in my marriage. I am thinking of quiting the relationship but i don't know how to go about it, how she will react, what her family members will say and react. I am so confused. Please i need your advice.

A broken friendship (relationship) is better than a broken marriage.

Divorce came to mind because she did something either consciously or subconsciously and you hated it.

We wey dey the institution na prison we dey we no fit comot.
We dey push am like that. Wishing we weren't
But then again no one loves going down alone
So please marry. Make you feel wetin we dey feel

you are not ready for marriage yet. just continue with your dating until your mind tells you to settle down properly

Shibaraba:
Divorce came to mind because she did something either consciously or subconsciously and you hated it.

We wey dey the institution na prison we dey we no fit comot.
We dey push am like that. Wishing we weren't
But then again no one loves going down alone
So please marry. Make you feel wetin we dey feel

I am actually seeing some feminism traits in her and some other issues.... Sometimes now her talks irritates me

I'll park here. This is FP material. Where are the mods

ChiefGuru24:
You still Haven't told us what or why you're having such thoughts. If she has done nothing, then you're the one at fault for your incapability to control your sexual urges and so it will be pointless to carry on with the wedding unless you can fix yourself through counseling. But if she is at fault, then you let us know, then I'll teach you how to Fix her and get your relationship back to normal. Wish you luck

Feminism traits and the likes....

Marriage is a difficult institution . All women are the same, it just depends on how you handle them. It is easy to bend a man than a woman. No perfect human being. Just follow your heart.

Spiritually,someone is sitting on your marriage..how can you take your wife to be to your village to meet with parent.only to return back with the thought of ending it..it is not ordinary..when it comes to marriage,we pay more attentions to the physical,finances and human qualities negleting the spiritual side of marriage.both of you should seek the face of God.and pray.

donbachi:
Spiritually,someone is sitting on your marriage..how can you take your wife to be to your village to meet with parent.only to return back with the thought of ending it..it is not ordinary..when it comes to marriage,we pay more attentions to the physical,finances and human qualities negleting the spiritual side of marriage.both of you should seek the face of God.and pray.

thank you for such advice

abc115:
Marriage is a difficult institution . All women are the same, it just depends on how you handle them. It is easy to bend a man than a woman. No perfect human being. Just follow your heart.

Bros if i enter the marriage bros i think i won't last

LasLas:

Feminism traits and the likes....

Please cite a couple of examples where you saw the traits and also what kinda talks of hers that irritated you.
Marriage is not for the feeble minded o.
You sha saw something in her initially that made you want to take that plunge before.
Did she just change to a "feminist-like person" overnight?

Please answer the above and elaborate sir....

Orishirishi!

There are more confused men out there than I know.. so just like that you're thinking of a divorce, at least tell us if she did anything wrong. It is not by force to marry, if you know you're not ready to be in a committed relationship stay on your own and stop leading ladies on.

From what i can gather i guess she x not fine...

LasLas:

Feminism traits and the likes....

Babe done dey balance small come feel free to show herself. Lol.

donbachi:
Spiritually,someone is sitting on your marriage..how can you take your wife to be to your village to meet with parent.only to return back with the thought of ending it..it is not ordinary..when it comes to marriage,we pay more attentions to the physical,finances and human qualities negleting the spiritual side of marriage.both of you should seek the face of God.and pray.

Forget all these spirit abi na wine. This is very obvious.

Babe done achieve major milestone, meeting the parents. She is now feeling more relaxed and showing more of her true self. Our guy is seeing her in this new light, coupled with the usual cold feet you get when entering into a very major undertaking. That is the cause of his discomfort.

He just needs to honestly ask himself if he can relate with an assertive partner. If he cannot, then he should call it quits.

LasLas:

Feminism traits and the likes....

Feminism traits like what exactly? Please list them so it’s clear

You’ve been dating for 2 years, when exactly did the traits in her you dislike start manifesting?

Anyway you’re obviously not ready to get married to her, you have your reasons, fair enough. Please let her know as soon as you can so neither of you continue wasting any more time on each other.

Dp

Curlieweed:


Babe done dey balance small come feel free to show herself. Lol.

Not that she's really balance financially but from her statement and body language sometimes you will suspect such. I have actually told her that she's a ferminist and she laughed and told me she's not.... Am just scared because she might be hiding it now

LasLas:

Not that she's really balance financially but from her statement and body language sometimes you will suspect such. I have actually told her that she's a ferminist and she laughed and told me she's not.... Am just scared because she might be hiding it now

pls can u tell us specifically what she says or do that makes u feel she is a feminist or one with growing traits?

Don't start wat u can't finish bro.. it's better u discuss how u feel about her and make ur intensions clear.. women are meant to be controlled. If u don't see any positive result just let her know it's not gonna work and move on. Don't be sentimental about this cos it's ur future. Use ur head

"Feminism" one of the most misunderstood words in Nigeria

Hold on another 6 months. Don't take any rash decisions yet

Shibaraba:
Divorce came to mind because she did something either consciously or subconsciously and you hated it.

We wey dey the institution na prison we dey we no fit comot.
We dey push am like that. Wishing we weren't
But then again no one loves going down alone
So please marry. Make you feel wetin we dey feel

Really? That's terrible. I don't wish this for anybody.

lovelybugs:
"Feminism" one of the most misunderstood words in Nigeria

It is the new adjective for any woman that has a different opinion from a guy. Once you have a mind of your own and you are not an "oh yes" member, boom! You are a feminist

What feminist traits? I think quite a number of Nigerian guys misuse this word a lot. Or do you mean that she is showing traits if not being submissive?

donbachi:
Spiritually,someone is sitting on your marriage..how can you take your wife to be to your village to meet with parent.only to return back with the thought of ending it..it is not ordinary..when it comes to marriage,we pay more attentions to the physical,finances and human qualities negleting the spiritual side of marriage.both of you should seek the face of God.and pray.

Exactly, it doesn't look ordinary.

LasLas:
Please nairalanders, I need your opinion and advice though i expect a lot of bashing because it is normal here on nairaland.
I met this girl two years back and we started dating since 2017. We have been into each other since then. Recently i went to see her parents just to make my intentions known. After that, we both traveled to see my parents also. Ever since we came back from my village i have been having this thoughts of divorce. I have this feeling that i will seek for divorce immediately after the wedding. I don't want to have a broken home. I don't want to cheat on my wife because if i eventually marry her with the way i am thinking now i must cheat on her which i don't want to happen in my marriage. I am thinking of quiting the relationship but i don't know how to go about it, how she will react, what her family members will say and react. I am so confused. Please i need your advice.
@Lalasticlala....

Perhaps you haven't told us the whole story. What transpired in your village, if nothing at all, then someone or persons in your village is on your case. Please fast and pray, it's not easy or fair leading someone on for a whole 2 years. She must have ignored all other suitors just cos she believes this relationship was going somewhere. Please search your heart to know why you're feeling this way all of a sudden after going to your village. Then again a broken relationship is far much better than a broken marriage. Seek the face of God

LasLas:

Not that she's really balance financially but from her statement and body language sometimes you will suspect such. I have actually told her that she's a ferminist and she laughed and told me she's not.... Am just scared because she might be hiding it now

When you say feminist, what exactly did you see? A woman doesn't have to say Yes to all your whims ,just because she's a woman.