nwanneni:
madam,no one here said you earn too much.that will be a bogus claim.
But i will advise you to please take the job,money is very very important and please by all means,your husband has got to move in with you wherever you are going.
Know that he will be jobless for a while before he finds his footing.
But please tell us the truth,will you still value him in that state in your new domicile?
Because most times,when this happens,most women take advantage and start abusing the man left and right.
If you won't do That,please take him along and if possible,try help him out get a job and y'all live happy afterwards.
Them no dey take superiority go anywhere in life,especially in unions.
This is just my own opinion

nahzyla:


Or are they angry because I said I want to use the money to better my kids lives instead of saying I want to spend on my husband? Personally I too would prefer him to spend his money on the children before considering me because they are the most important people in our lives right now.

.

Acidosis:


na wa for you o


woman wey already dey insult her husband with different names like "akagun" (stingy koko) even while he provides and earn averagely??

I don't know this man but he would not accept that arrangement.

nahzyla:
[s]I honestly don't understand why many men in this thread are so angry

Is it because of the amount I said I would be receiving? You all don't think it's right for women to earn more than men? Oris it because I wrote 'my children' instead of our children? Does it even matter? My husband calls our baby 'my son', ' my boy', 'my capon' etc when we are at home or with other people and I don't even see the big deal, he isn't wrong to say that so why is my saying 'my children' now a sign of disrespect?

Or are they angry because I said I want to use the money to better my kids lives instead of saying I want to spend on my husband? Personally I too would prefer him to spend his money on the children before considering me because they are the most important people in our lives right now.

I honestly don't understand the outrage and the wrong conclusion about my disrespecting my husband. If I didn't have respect for him I would not even seek second opinion from people for a job that pays so much. I would just leave.[/s]

crackhaus:

What exactly is your purpose here then?

Your husband has not decided, in fact you just admitted that he seemed fine with your move from the last conversation.

I ask again, what exactly is your purpose here?

Do you wish to find out how to convince him, which would be really easy since he's already considering it?
Or do you wish to find out how best to just leave him, which is what your entire language is suggesting?

ibkayee:

Don’t mind them

I doubt married people go around saying ‘our’ when referring to their kids to people unless their spouse is literally next to them during that point in time or in the same vicinity for example. The way you worded it was not that deep, lmao what a reach

Best of luck with whatever decision you choose

nahzyla:


No be small reach.
Even in my compound here all the parents are always talking of their kids as my boy or my girl or my children and never 'me and my husband/ wife children. I don't know what country some of these men live in.
Thanks for ur contributions

nwanneni:
madam,no one here said you earn too much.that will be a bogus claim.
But i will advise you to please take the job,money is very very important and please by all means,your husband has got to move in with you wherever you are going.
Know that he will be jobless for a while before he finds his footing.
But please tell us the truth,will you still value him in that state in your new domicile?
Because most times,when this happens,most women take advantage and start abusing the man left and right.
If you won't do That,please take him along and if possible,try help him out get a job and y'all live happy afterwards.
Them no dey take superiority go anywhere in life,especially in unions.
This is just my own opinion

ornicus:


That depends on the man.the die hard chauvinists will take the contributions and still expect the wife to be a doormat. Friend I discussed previously - he and his wife built their house together, then the guy put it in his own name.

Acidosis:


Absolutely! It is a marriage (team work), not an avenue to compare who's better (competition). These are strong words on the marble.

Imagine what this one posted


He should hustle bla bla and concentrate on her kids. So the man's only crime now is that the wife got a better job. I bet her choice of words will change if by tomorrow, the man's earnings rise by 500%. "Her" kids will change to "Our" kids. Just imagine how she hurriedly concluded that the man does not want to hustle. So much for this marriage thing. If her salary rises to 1m after a year, the man should kill himself because he must earn more, as per competition? And if he doesn't, he risks losing his "manhood"?

author=ibkayee post=79255752]

nwanneni:
Na their way na
Where I use to live ehn Bro,e get this woman weh be hotshot lawyer then,e be like the hubby was out of work at the time cos me and am dey dey house wella then
She dey cruise one Nissan qashqai 015 then and the hubby dey manage one beatdown 07 accord.
We dey use to get monthly meetings with the landlord then,come see as the woman dey challenge everybody and even the hubby for the gathering,they hush am when e want talk till the landlord gats blast am to shut the hell up and give the hubby respect for public!unto say the old man na major baller.
Every time you see the guy all moody and looks like one who has given up hope.
Many women can no longer control that SUPREME feeling when they start making more money I swear!
It's the truth,and if you complain ehn,she go use her connection from men in her class to put you for panti direct
I hope say this madam no go do am sha

ornicus:


That depends on the man.the die hard chauvinists will take the contributions and still expect the wife to be a doormat. Friend I discussed previously - he and his wife built their house together, [/b]then the guy put it in his own name[b].

ornicus:


It also means there was probably never any love to begin with. Most naija marriage Las Las na marriage of convenience.

Then again, the true test of a man and woman is not how they handle poverty, but how they handle wealth.

nwanneni:
Anytime you touch Naija feminist them,them go dey shout we have our own money until e reach time to build house or commot 50m make better investment
You go see them go take automatic back seat and begin to cheer from afar.
ABI we have OUR OWN MONEY too na the one to stock fridge and cook soup?
Money weh no be even Alakija type

Acidosis:



@

This summarizes the response to your previous post. Check very well, many women did not marry for the sake of love. It's largely about the available with better financial security. When that security starts 'failing' or when they realize they can actually make that money they love so much, they unleash the demon within. The man becomes somewhat useless.

AntiBrutus:


Why should women marry for love?
I thought the bible you all love to quote, commanded the woman to SUBMIT and the man to LOVE.

There is nothing new in that. Aside money, there is little or nothing to respect MOST Nigerian men for. They know it themselves. That is why they hardly ever work on their attitude, just keep ranting on how they will make money and women will come calling.

Acidosis:


Who do you this thing AntiBrutus? I think we need to talk heart-to-heart

AntiBrutus:


How many Nigerians have money to buy a house or make 50m investment? Do you? Having your own money is having enough to sustain the life you live, be you male/female.

If you can stock your fridge and provide the basic everyday needs yourself...then you are doing fine as a NIGERIAN IN NIGERIA.

The question remains, aside money, what can Naija men offer their women. If money was everything, you all should be married by now, in a country where Naija girls love money, right? So, what is happening?

Acidosis:



@nwanneni

This summarizes the response to your previous post. Check very well, many women did not marry for the sake of love. It's largely about the available with better financial security. When that security starts 'failing' or when they realize they can actually make that money they love so much, they unleash the demon within. The man becomes somewhat useless.

This has been a fact since 1902!
Only a naive person will disagree.
Reason I'm not so keen on marriage.

nwanneni:
But you are the one that mentioned Ned and Dangote na so you knew all these and had to make that comment?
For a while,I thought Folorunsho Alakija had hacked your NL account and was the one commenting.
We ain't married because the so called independent women we keep meeting perhaps might turn out to be a ticking time bomb,the ones who will come to our houses to start competing with us,rather than contributing for our better tomorrow.
That is why we are still single and perhaps,some of us may be too young to start adding marital problems to our list of problems
Asides complications and a string of false standards,what can Nigerian women offer their men?

AntiBrutus:



So only you keep meeting bad women?

Why should you even want them to offer you anything? Thought you want nothing?
Pele.

AntiBrutus:


Deflections.
Answer the question I asked.

Did your God command women to LOVE?

Acidosis:


God command us to love one another.

And romantically, we all fall in love, don't we? Or falling in love to the average woman is meant for useless fruitless teenage and college relationships?

When a woman falls in love, submission flows naturally. Likewise, respect, care, adoration, etc. flow naturally when a man falls in love.

We struggle with these things because women have polluted their minds that marriage thrives only on money and a man without money is useless. We've become too educated and critical to allow love lead us. We forget too soon that marriage isn't even necessary and rational if we are to weigh the pros and cons from the viewpoint of commonsense.

Naturally, it doesn't make sense to live with another person for the rest of our lives because our tastes are bound to change at some points.

nwanneni:
And only you keep meeting bad men?
Asiah!

AntiBrutus:


Lmao. I expected this epistle. Same way God commanded them to submit one to the other.



Religion and logic can never mix.

Acidosis:


Logic has ruined and still ruining many marriages.

AntiBrutus:


When did I say I met bad men?
Care to show me?

AntiBrutus:


Please o ye biblical hypocrites.
Spare me the sermon

AntiBrutus:


Please o ye biblical hypocrites.
Spare me the sermon