Acidosis:


You mean love tends to give room for cheats to thrive..?

I've never encouraged anyone to put religion first. Love comes first for me.

I'm marrying for love and nothing more. Never will I be an option or a means to an end to anybody.

ornicus:


so what happens if you are both sharing the rent?

AntiBrutus:


Men are confused.
They don't even know what they want.

Look around you, so many jobless women that are submissive. Pick one and marry.

AntiBrutus:


Was I commanded to love and submit?

I raised it because you like quoting bible. Why don't you wanna quote it again?

Can you love and submit to the woman in your life?

ornicus:


That depends on the man.the die hard chauvinists will take the contributions and still expect the wife to be a doormat. Friend I discussed previously - he and his wife built their house together, then the guy put it in his own name.

Acidosis:


Two people cannot submit to each other, technically speaking. Someone must take the lead. Besides, na man dey marry woman put for house. If you want me to submit to you, come and marry me in my father's house.

AntiBrutus:


He is yet to answer a very simple question.

Typical of preachers, launch mind games when they don't want to ruin their previous stand.

No wonder it is hard for men, they gat no love for us...

Acidosis:



AntiBrutus, you need to understand how the Bible works. Change your twisted perception of the Bible and you would see the texts are in your favour.

Submission is hard for those who marry for other reasons but true love. You can't be in love and say you won't/can't submit.

Fall in love first, and we can start talking.

nwanneni:
Na their way na
Where I use to live ehn Bro,e get this woman weh be hotshot lawyer then,e be like the hubby was out of work at the time cos me and am dey dey house wella then
She dey cruise one Nissan qashqai 015 then and the hubby dey manage one beatdown 07 accord.
We dey use to get monthly meetings with the landlord then,come see as the woman dey challenge everybody and even the hubby for the gathering,they hush am when e want talk till the landlord gats blast am to shut the hell up and give the hubby respect for public!unto say the old man na major baller.
Every time you see the guy all moody and looks like one who has given up hope.
Many women can no longer control that SUPREME feeling when they start making more money I swear!
It's the truth,and if you complain ehn,she go use her connection from men in her class to put you for panti direct
I hope say this madam no go do am sha

nahzyla:
Thanks to all the people that contributed helpful advice, especially the females and the few understanding males. I will have a discussion with him to convince him of the importance of my going. I think that is best for both of us presently.


To the guy that said my marriage will crash, God forbid.
My marriage will never crash in the name of God. Whatever you wish on my marriage will return to you tenfold.

bukatyne:




I think most people want to eat their cake and have it.

And women should seek men who have high self esteem.

It is extremely important.

nwanneni:
since when did men and women start sharing rents and utility?
Let's be realistic please

nwanneni:
you just mentioned men that like to be polygamous.
As a matter of fact,most men hardly engage in things like that,rather they look for small small girls as concubines especially because when these feminists smell security in marriage(as in na me get this house kpatakpata),they start to tie wrapper up and down and begin to look like the man's mom.
No man likes the stress of going after small,dirty women if the love of his life decides to keep herself like how she was when Mr sweetboy fell in love with her.
I won't do it!I even hate small girls.maybe it's just me sha

No man likes the stress of going after small,dirty women if the love of his life decides to keep herself like how she was when Mr sweetboy fell in love with her.

Acidosis:


The question of submission does not come with many conditions. The only condition is, do not marry a man you cannot submit to. That means, do not marry a man you do not (genuinely) love.

sacx:
Take the job and also pray for your hubby so he can get a better paying job where he is based. If that happens, maybe he can get his kids to live with him so he can offer them the better things of life, while you hold the fort from your base. You could pay them a visit like twice a month if you find the time.

Ewww . Whatever it is you have become, I think hubby is a contributory factor to it. I saw that 'akagum' something too. You see your hubby as lazy and selfish, and perhaps he is. I advise all, both male and female, to treat their spouse right in plenty and scarcity, so there won't be need for resentment when the situation changes.

So do take the job, and don't see this change in fortune as an opportunity to settle scores with him. I hope you both learn to love each other.

bukatyne:


If you guys want to be honest, you will more that a large number of men maltreat and control their wives when they (the husbands) are the sole/major providers.

The wives learnt from the husbands.

ibkayee:

Lol oh boy

Acidosis:


Let's assume all you've said is true, at what stage does a man unleash the demon within? The day he realizes he can cook and take care of a baby?

Have you seen men throw caution to the wind because they suddenly realize they can cook and take care of the home?

liberalchick:
Abi, that escalated very quickly! Many are reaching here to confirm their biases.

ornicus:


i was actually thinking of nigerians relocating to canada
a lot of them will share bill by force
lets see what happens then



for where? our ex-milads are a classic example. ibb, abacha , etal. noe of those women are their first wives. if i'm not mistaken, dangote is divorced from his first wife. polygamy is a live and well, and people know the right Quranic or biblical verses to whip out.

in the same way, those small small concubines are sharper than you think. before you know wats happening, they have usurped madams role.it is not that hard, just fk the man's brains out.



that goes both ways. is the man in the shape he was when he met her? unless you are wealthy and can engage in athleisure, not everyone [man or woman] can keep in prisitine shape.

AntiBrutus:


Yes, I think that is one of it. If lots of them are dating you and you are not collecting, they are actually very uncomfortable. They think your mouth will be very sharp and they have no hold on you.

I take gifts o, but it will be something I can afford. No come collect my bb, give me iPhone X. Or change my Camry 2.2 to an AMG. That one is the gift of the devil, the type I flee from. This is the type they like to give; the one people will see and know there is a MAN in your life.

nwanneni:
another scam!
Like say self esteem dey buy house
It's not esteem y'all look for but security.
And security=$$$$
Why una no dey gree marry boys for ghetto with plenty self esteem

nahzyla:

Yes, the misleading title was deliberate.
I wanted to draw attention to the thread and get responses.

Too bad some people are already drawing ridiculous conclusions from the title.

nwanneni:
since when did men and women start sharing rents and utility?
Let's be realistic please

ibkayee:

So (genuinely) loving your husband and not being submissive are mutually exclusive?

nwanneni:
Personally,I won't marry a housewife.
You earn yours,I earn mine,let peace reign.
That is all we ask,no be say make you come dey tell us say you be "agu nwanyi" na.

bukatyne:


I know this was on the basis that women throw caution to the wind because they earn.

Your next question should be 'do women maltreat men because they can cook and take care of the home'?

You know the answer innit?

Acidosis:


How about we ask; do men maltreat women because they learnt how to cook and take care of the home?

Acidosis:


absolutely!

bukatyne:


What's 'agu nwanyi'?

You want to wife to work although not provide. Do you realize that she will require you to be hands on at home because she works outside?

bukatyne:


Are you in this Nigeria so?

nwanneni:
lioness..
And this is what they do;
-Sharing chores with me dey give me work.today na me dey wash plate,mop floor and kitchen.I no go do am.
Make the house better turn refuse dump!I don't care.
I can help out in emergencies and move heavy furniture,no p.
-giving ultimatum.she is wasting her time because I will make sure I break that ultimatum as much as possible make that thing web she go do happen.
There are better ways to pass messages
-insults,abuses(verbal and/or physical)
This one drives me nuts
-competition.me and she no dey compete na,its a union.
-Outrageous demands
Those are some things agu nwanyis do