Please @op don't fee bad.

Children of nowadays eee, i think they got these things from where they came from. Hehehe.

My 3 years old no dey see me UnCloth, he will run to pack my butts and scream. I have started spanking him for it, but he is not withdrawing still.

For molesting reasons I don't allow my house help to bath my kids. Never, no matter how tired I am, I bath them myself.

Second reason i bath them myself is for safety reason. I hate injuries in kids, so i don't want stories coming from i mistakenly .....

Stop the house help from bathing him and henceforth it should be you or your wife bathing your kids even your girl child please.

Above all, pray for your son, talk to him. Let him know you saw him.

Se.x education should be from day old now ooo.

Have read through the comments and will just let the OP know this: there's no art for you to know the real extent of the damage the maid has already caused your son.

Treat this case like you would if an adult had raped your 7 year old boy. This 'little' matter may be the beginning of a dysfunctional, mind-warped, distorted, sexualized mind and psyche.

Not writing to scare you. Take that boy for therapy. His mind cannot handle what he has experienced.

Save his mind

Treat as urgent.

I hope your ears listen.

Timih:
I'm very disturbed now

This might be long

I don't know if he's the one assaulting her or she's the one doing so.. I don't even know what is going on

I got back from work, went to the bathroom and when I came out, I saw my son entering a room. He was calling her name and entered. I've been suspecting something like this so I used the opportunity to peep. I saw my son sitting close to her, putting his hand across her neck, this time she was giving a faint smile while putting her palms on her face. Later the boy went to her back and started squeezing her breast from behind. Mehn.. I'm sad, shocked, bad.. Everything. I called him and I pretended not to see anything, why? I know if I react, I'll severely deal with him and that won't change anything because he's been poisoned already. I feel like I've failed as a father already.

He's 7 turning to 8,the girl is 14. I seriously don't know what to do about my son, in fact I can't eat to think well. I'll be sending away the girl though but I'm sure that won't stop my son from doing things. Especially in his school. I'm afraid of anything that may happen.

First time I noticed a strange relationship between them, i called him, talked to him about not showing his pen.is to anyone, to keep himself covered and all sort, asked him questions about anyone touching him in any manner and he said no. I asked him about his friends in school.. He named 8 of dem and 2 of them are girls.

I've failed as a father. My wife is not yet back but when I tell her, she will beat the boy and that won't change anything. I don't know where I went wrong. The maid bathes the boy, dresses for him too. Maybe that's where the issue lies. My wife just gave birth and that's why we employed a maid to help her and take care of the house till the baby is old enough.

I don't know where he got it from, I've stopped my wife from watching movies on dstv anytime he's with her.. She only watches redeemed channel and maybe news then when he's asleep, she face her movies. She asked why and i said there was a day I came back from work, and the way he greeted me was very strange... Normally, I relate with him as if we are age mates.. I can say my guy, how u dey na and he replies with daddy, I just gentle... Just normal guyman things but this one is totally different and no one needs to tell me he got it from the movies.. No one.

Maybe I have to take charge of bathing him

He's a very smart boy.. Very very smart and that's my fear.. And for him to be exposed to this has duely affected me.

Please help me.. Abuse me, curse me.. I don't have a choice.. Just help me

Pardon my English pls.. Just help

I feel your pain, Sir. You've handled it well so far. Only make him understand the grave consequences of his action, and the need to keep the opposite sex at arms length. And remember, prayer is key and will do wonders for him. Do not relent in fasting and prayer. His mother must know. She has an equal stake in this, and should know what she's inadvertently breeding.
Pls, be watchful. He might try it on his classmates or even siblings.

Listen, we have lost those days of discipline, even d bible make us to understand that, spare d rod, and spoiled d child. forget what has bin deposited in d child, and remove wat is deposited period, u can help ur child, and also help someone else child, what am saying punished both of them together OK. forget his smartness. this is were parents of the of dis days get it wrong. we are African, so him smartness nah to Bleep abi. d earlier d beta, tomorrow maybe 2 late. just saying.

@op, why should a female be bathing a boy of 7 or 8? Isn't he old enough to bathe himself? She has abused your son and your son needs psychological help. I can't believe you are saying you would send her soon. Soon? Someone that is destroying your son's life? Na wa for some families.

Timih:
I'm very disturbed now

This might be long

I don't know if he's the one assaulting her or she's the one doing so.. I don't even know what is going on

I got back from work, went to the bathroom and when I came out, I saw my son entering a room. He was calling her name and entered. I've been suspecting something like this so I used the opportunity to peep. I saw my son sitting close to her, putting his hand across her neck, this time she was giving a faint smile while putting her palms on her face. Later the boy went to her back and started squeezing her breast from behind. Mehn.. I'm sad, shocked, bad.. Everything. I called him and I pretended not to see anything, why? I know if I react, I'll severely deal with him and that won't change anything because he's been poisoned already. I feel like I've failed as a father already.

He's 7 turning to 8,the girl is 14. I seriously don't know what to do about my son, in fact I can't eat to think well. I'll be sending away the girl though but I'm sure that won't stop my son from doing things. Especially in his school. I'm afraid of anything that may happen.

First time I noticed a strange relationship between them, i called him, talked to him about not showing his pen.is to anyone, to keep himself covered and all sort, asked him questions about anyone touching him in any manner and he said no. I asked him about his friends in school.. He named 8 of dem and 2 of them are girls.

I've failed as a father. My wife is not yet back but when I tell her, she will beat the boy and that won't change anything. I don't know where I went wrong. The maid bathes the boy, dresses for him too. Maybe that's where the issue lies. My wife just gave birth and that's why we employed a maid to help her and take care of the house till the baby is old enough.

I don't know where he got it from, I've stopped my wife from watching movies on dstv anytime he's with her.. She only watches redeemed channel and maybe news then when he's asleep, she face her movies. She asked why and i said there was a day I came back from work, and the way he greeted me was very strange... Normally, I relate with him as if we are age mates.. I can say my guy, how u dey na and he replies with daddy, I just gentle... Just normal guyman things but this one is totally different and no one needs to tell me he got it from the movies.. No one.

Maybe I have to take charge of bathing him

He's a very smart boy.. Very very smart and that's my fear.. And for him to be exposed to this has duely affected me.

Please help me.. Abuse me, curse me.. I don't have a choice.. Just help me

Pardon my English pls.. Just help

Cc: funmisticqueen
Cc: khiaa

7yrs=JS1/2.....and your housemaid is responsible for bathing him. And he is apparently smart, like very very smart, according to you
You talk to him like a grown up and he is doing grown up things, now you are freaking out...... uncle why?
Bro just recalibrate. It's never late. Who said you are a failed dad? Common man....

B

Any intelligent person would know this story is another tale by moonlight. It would make an average script for a nolly wood movie.

genq:
I don't mean to gloat over your son's misfortune but this is what happens when a mother leaves the raising of her children to outsiders. Let me guess your wife is too busy to take care of the kids right? Because shes a "modern working class woman".

Go and ask women abroad how they manage to work full time and still raise their own children without househelp. Unlike these ones in Nigeria who after just one child, they can't do chores again. House helps are then put in place to assume the duties of a wife and mother.

Your son is one of many children out there suffering the consequences of these lifestyle choices.

You plus the people liking your post either have compression issues, can’t read more than a sentence or hate women because you totally lack what will attract women to you. No, it’s not money. It is love for yourself and others that gives confidence. The op said the hose help came because his wife just had a baby. What is it with the bashing? You want to know how women outside Nigeria cope with family as well as work? They have husbands that help with everything: cooking, taking out the trash, bathing the older child, feeding the new born, cleaning.... everything!!!!

Timih:
I'm very disturbed now

This might be long

Pardon my English pls.. Just help

Why punish the girl? From your story, your son is the one molesting the girl. Covering her face indicates she's shy even in private and your son is the one running the show.

Let your son and the girl be. Act like you saw nothing and if the only reaction from your wife is to beat him then don't tell her about it.

Why can't your 7 year old son bath himself? My nephew is same age and looks after his 2 younger sisters. I see you've failed as a father on many fronts and this is just the obvious one to you. This is not time for blaming though but I advise you make yourself a better father.

The next time such a thing happens, do not slip away instead pretend to walk in on them, act shocked and punish the 2 of them. Threaten to send the girl away if she repeats this and tell your son you'll report him to his school and have him flogged and shamed in public.

I hope the maid is attending school and isn't your stay at home servant?

Timih:
. Thank you for this.. He sleeps in my room alongside with my wife, so I'm very sure about him sleeping.. He's even afraid of darkness so there's no way he can crawl out to watch TV even though I keep the remote in a place his hands can't reach.. There's time for him to watch TV.. I don't deny him that.. I just don't watch the TV with him except football.. We watch that together all the time I'm around.. He's still angry about Nigeria's loss to Madagascar sha.. So I just tune in to a cartoon station and off I go with the remote... No way for him to watch any other thing unless they show another thing on the cartoon station

I hope he doesn't see any funny thing between mummy and daddy while he sleep or pretends to sleep in you people's bedroom?
You need to check yourself too to ensure he didn't pick it up from the bedroom
Also, your son can manage to bath himself. Yes he can. A 14 year old girl and a 7/8 year old boy, nothing remain inside. They are both kids
Let your wife manage the bathing or you do that for the next 2 weeks and afterwards, LET THE YOUNG MAN HANDLE IT HIMSELF!
Lastly, its not only films these days that are filled with rubbish. Have you seen the average Nigerian music videos and the nearly nuvde women in them. Kids watch these things and sing along, lets protect them. The world is filled with evil and kids these days are growing faster than we did in our generation. God bless your home sir

PS: Send the young girl away ASAP
Your wife may counsel her as you would your son but ensure she does not remain in your household

genq:


Good.

But just so you know, that 14 year old girl you employed is a CHILD just as your son is. It could very much be a mutual affair between them.

I know your madam will beat that girl once she hears of it but I must warn you that if she lays a hand on that girl child, she will never know joy over her own children. Mark my words.

I'm just warning you ahead of time. Protect and guide that girl like she is your own. If your wife cannot correct her in love, then send her back peacefully.

Wonders will never end!!!! You seriously believe that a 7 year old boy is in a mutual relationship with a 14 year old? That a boy of 7 knows what he is doing? That the 14 year old is not the one in control of the relationship?

Daisy17:


I disagree with you. Beating does not solve the problem. The dad has to create a safe space for the boy to feel comfortable enough to express himself and have an honest conversation. Beating will cause the child to close up. This is the reason why a lot of parents do not have close, open relationships with their kids. What will make a child be open when they know that it will lead to beating?

I don't know the part of Africa that you come from, but right her I am beating does. I would have been a cultist or prolly dead if not of the beating I received from mom.

perforetti:


Couldn't have been better said. Do yo live abroad? Cos you hit the nail on the head. People don't have helps here because it is expensive, and the ones who can afford it do get it. I have a 1 and half year old and I know how difficult it was to cope, I had my mum come to help for 8months and my mother inlaw currently helping, and will keep recycling our mothers visits to assist I and my mrs. also add daycare 2days in a week. It's not easy las las and people find it easy to jump to conclusions about why others make the decisions they do without knowin fully well people have different circumstances they are dealing with, and nobody knows it all or there's no particular way of doing one thing.

Yes I do live abroad. You are very lucky to have your mother and mother-in-law. I love your last sentence.

this is serious ��� pls just send the girl packing first

Timih:
. Thank you for this.. He sleeps in my room alongside with my wife, so I'm very sure about him sleeping.. He's even afraid of darkness so there's no way he can crawl out to watch TV even though I keep the remote in a place his hands can't reach.. There's time for him to watch TV.. I don't deny him that.. I just don't watch the TV with him except football.. We watch that together all the time I'm around.. He's still angry about Nigeria's loss to Madagascar sha.. So I just tune in to a cartoon station and off I go with the remote... No way for him to watch any other thing unless they show another thing on the cartoon station

Hope he has watched you and your wife doing it before now....pls dont beat the maid....u guys should all have a serious talk with both children...thereafter send the maid away...get an elderly woman that can come very early and help with the chores....my 2cent

Oga stop over dramatizing this issue
We all had one gal like us we did stuffs with as a kid
Both are kids
There is nothing to this rather than the daily porn ur wife exposed him to in home videos and musical videos
U are coming in a bit late by telling ur wife not to watch this and that
Are u at home always to be sure ur wife follows the rules
Oga leave the girl alone
Correct them
You saw them and couldn't shout at them even if you didnt hit them
Do u know the opportunity u have missed in correcting them in the art
Alpha males correct at once
Not some sissy talk of how it broke your heart
He is a child
He needs to be flogged immediately you catch him in the art
So now what will u do
U will call him to talk to him when he doesn't understand what u are saying because u the modern dad couldn't act immediately
Oga leave them alone
Wait for another opportunity to catch them again and this time flog him so he can understand the reason u are doing so
So much sissy for a daddy

tiredoflife:
Oga stop over dramatizing this issue
We all had one gal like us we did stuffs with as a kid
Both are kids
There is nothing to this rather than the daily porn ur wife exposed him to in home videos and musical videos
U are coming in a bit late by telling ur wife not to watch this and that
Are u at home always to be sure ur wife follows the rules
Oga leave the girl alone
Correct them
You saw them and couldn't shout at them even if you didnt hit them
Do u know the opportunity u have missed in correcting them in the art
Alpha males correct at once
Not some sissy talk of how it broke your heart
He is a child
He needs to be flogged immediately you catch him in the art
So now what will u do
U will call him to talk to him when he doesn't understand what u are saying because u the modern dad couldn't act immediately
Oga leave them alone
Wait for another opportunity to catch them again and this time flog him so he can understand the reason u are doing so
So much sissy for a daddy

God bless you. i agree with you in 1 area. No way will I catch kids doing such and quietly walk away.
God Almighty knows

I don't think your young female housemaid should be bathing your 7 yr old son in the first place. He's old enough to bath himself. He's capable of an erection at that age already.

Timih:
I'm very disturbed now

This might be long

I don't know if he's the one assaulting her or she's the one doing so.. I don't even know what is going on

I got back from work, went to the bathroom and when I came out, I saw my son entering a room. He was calling her name and entered. I've been suspecting something like this so I used the opportunity to peep. I saw my son sitting close to her, putting his hand across her neck, this time she was giving a faint smile while putting her palms on her face. Later the boy went to her back and started squeezing her breast from behind. Mehn.. I'm sad, shocked, bad.. Everything. I called him and I pretended not to see anything, why? I know if I react, I'll severely deal with him and that won't change anything because he's been poisoned already. I feel like I've failed as a father already.

He's 7 turning to 8,the girl is 14. I seriously don't know what to do about my son, in fact I can't eat to think well. I'll be sending away the girl though but I'm sure that won't stop my son from doing things. Especially in his school. I'm afraid of anything that may happen.

First time I noticed a strange relationship between them, i called him, talked to him about not showing his pen.is to anyone, to keep himself covered and all sort, asked him questions about anyone touching him in any manner and he said no. I asked him about his friends in school.. He named 8 of dem and 2 of them are girls.

I've failed as a father. My wife is not yet back but when I tell her, she will beat the boy and that won't change anything. I don't know where I went wrong. The maid bathes the boy, dresses for him too. Maybe that's where the issue lies. My wife just gave birth and that's why we employed a maid to help her and take care of the house till the baby is old enough.

I don't know where he got it from, I've stopped my wife from watching movies on dstv anytime he's with her.. She only watches redeemed channel and maybe news then when he's asleep, she face her movies. She asked why and i said there was a day I came back from work, and the way he greeted me was very strange... Normally, I relate with him as if we are age mates.. I can say my guy, how u dey na and he replies with daddy, I just gentle... Just normal guyman things but this one is totally different and no one needs to tell me he got it from the movies.. No one.

Maybe I have to take charge of bathing him

He's a very smart boy.. Very very smart and that's my fear.. And for him to be exposed to this has duely affected me.

Please help me.. Abuse me, curse me.. I don't have a choice.. Just help me

Pardon my English pls.. Just help

there's nothing you can do about it. What don is done! If I tell you how many years I de taste Toto u go get bp! punishment can't stop him rather it will make him more wild than you ever imagine and if you make him pretend all is well do you know what he does when you're away Man you can take a horse to a stream but you can't force it to drink water! That's simple truth!

Again what if he actual learn from you and your wife I remember a man that call wazobia for advice on what to do after his 10yrs old son cut him unclad with his wife. The funniest thing is that the boy was standing and watching the mother crying as the father was brutalizing her Gpot kikikiki wazobia 94.1 pH city no go kill person with laughter!!!

sir anything u can do to save ur son do it to d girl. for some saying d girl is wiser than boy. if it is so the oldest man will know everything and be the leader in everything. but it is not so. save her too. keeping quiet at her is not d best. Nobody knows tomorrow. Not saying she must stay with u. is an eye opener. be at alert. sin is not always practice because they see people do the same it comes from d mind. may God guide u better to train ur children.

Timih:
I'm very disturbed now

This might be long

I don't know if he's the one assaulting her or she's the one doing so.. I don't even know what is going on

I got back from work, went to the bathroom and when I came out, I saw my son entering a room. He was calling her name and entered. I've been suspecting something like this so I used the opportunity to peep. I saw my son sitting close to her, putting his hand across her neck, this time she was giving a faint smile while putting her palms on her face. Later the boy went to her back and started squeezing her breast from behind. Mehn.. I'm sad, shocked, bad.. Everything. I called him and I pretended not to see anything, why? I know if I react, I'll severely deal with him and that won't change anything because he's been poisoned already. I feel like I've failed as a father already.

He's 7 turning to 8,the girl is 14. I seriously don't know what to do about my son, in fact I can't eat to think well. I'll be sending away the girl though but I'm sure that won't stop my son from doing things. Especially in his school. I'm afraid of anything that may happen.

First time I noticed a strange relationship between them, i called him, talked to him about not showing his pen.is to anyone, to keep himself covered and all sort, asked him questions about anyone touching him in any manner and he said no. I asked him about his friends in school.. He named 8 of dem and 2 of them are girls.

I've failed as a father. My wife is not yet back but when I tell her, she will beat the boy and that won't change anything. I don't know where I went wrong. The maid bathes the boy, dresses for him too. Maybe that's where the issue lies. My wife just gave birth and that's why we employed a maid to help her and take care of the house till the baby is old enough.

I don't know where he got it from, I've stopped my wife from watching movies on dstv anytime he's with her.. She only watches redeemed channel and maybe news then when he's asleep, she face her movies. She asked why and i said there was a day I came back from work, and the way he greeted me was very strange... Normally, I relate with him as if we are age mates.. I can say my guy, how u dey na and he replies with daddy, I just gentle... Just normal guyman things but this one is totally different and no one needs to tell me he got it from the movies.. No one.

Maybe I have to take charge of bathing him

He's a very smart boy.. Very very smart and that's my fear.. And for him to be exposed to this has duely affected me.

Please help me.. Abuse me, curse me.. I don't have a choice.. Just help me

Pardon my English pls.. Just help

You are stupid. How dare you employ a child as a maid. Both your son and the maid are children. They might just be acting what they see on TV. The maid might have been sexually assaulted.

You better dont do anything for the maid.

In a saner country, you should be rotting in jail for child labour.

genq:
I don't mean to gloat over your son's misfortune but this is what happens when a mother leaves the raising of her children to outsiders. Let me guess your wife is too busy to take care of the kids right? Because shes a "modern working class woman".

Go and ask women abroad how they manage to work full time and still raise their own children without househelp. Unlike these ones in Nigeria who after just one child, they can't do chores again. House helps are then put in place to assume the duties of a wife and mother.

Your son is one of many children out there suffering the consequences of these lifestyle choices.

Please could you share the ideas, it will go a long way.

Í know a lot of people have made their input, but here's my 2 cent as a father the sole responsibility of teaching him morals doesn't lie on you though he respects you and kids in Nigeria usually have a certain fear for fathers that they don't have for mothers especially sons (this fear is associated with the discipline expected from the father).

Let him know the errors in what he did and be firm, if your new baby is a girl then you also have your work cut out for you. Let him know he's not to touch her and should be her protector.
how would you have felt if the f**dling had been with an houseboy or male?... I have a cousin who molests every female relative that stays with them, he did it to me in primary school (some twenty odd years ago) I recently learnt he's still doing it to other female relatives... His parents always turned a blind eye.

My brother pray, pray and pray.... Teach your son about the scriptures, help him to personalize the lessons therein... Get him children's Bible for his age group... Let him read a book of proverbs which corresponds to the day of the week to you every evening and let him explain what he understands after each reading e.g on the 16th day read proverbs 16 (it should be a thing you guys share you will see that you can teach him a lot about life this way) at the beginning of each new month, start afresh... teach him to have a personal relationship with God.

Don't erroneusly believe he picked this up on TV or from the maid, it might be from school or even his cousins (I might be wrong though)

Since you've pointed out that he's a smart boy, give him more responsibility around the house to occupy him, and let him know you believe in him hence the extra work.... smiles...

Teach him how to bath and dress himself, you bath and dress him several times, teach him to do same, then allow him bath and dress himself while you watch, then let him bath himself on his own and submit himself for inspection (let him know when he does it right or wrong and make corrections)...

Let your kids friends come around especially when it's convenient for you guys, so you can observe him around them. Don't just know your kids friends at school but also in church, you and your wife should take this a step further by knowing the parents of their friends.

Let him assist around the house, in the kitchen and let him assist mummy also, let him know you are giving him this new added responsibility not as punishment but cos you are proud of him.... He should pick up after himself, I know a kid who used to mop up any water he spilled at the tender age of 3.

This might actually turn out to be a good thing for you and your boy... You get to actively and responsibly shapen and groom him to be the responsible and accountable man...

There's this book called the 2 SIDES OF LOVE.... I can't remember the author. Buy it and read. It will help you a lot. Your son might need a tougher love than you are giving especially at his age or he may need a gentler love but you should know better since you know his personality

Finally unto the maid, she's also a child and might not know better however she's living the life she has been dealt with. Have your wife talk to the girl to give her sex education, pray with and for her. Do an HIV test on her, send her away, but send her away better than you guys met her...