Akposb:

This is sad to say the least.
Simple advice, work on your mind and try to "better" your relations with people.

You might be tempted to take drugs but I will advise that you pray and ask for a rest. You are good enough to stand out in the crowd.

ok,thanks a lot .I Will try and improve my relations with people

What does distrust mean to you and how can you handle it?
Can your spouse promiscuous cause distrust between the both of you?
Can pornographic videos and pictures bring a Dismay of trust between you and your partner?
What has your partner done to you that you don't want to forget and has made you never to trust him or her again?
Read up, the POWER OF TRUST.
>>>>>
https://allsinglesandmarried..com/2019/07/the-power-of-trust-in-marriage.html?m=1

RSVP:
So I was planing to visit a friend today and I woke up around 3am to iron my well starched shirt and I even had to polish my shoe oo . Then fast forward to ds moment. My mood just switch smh. Let's jzt say my server is down . Lol

So I'm folding my shirt back into my box then I'll put a call thru say I no go show again.. Reason?? No Reason

But In my head.. I don go come back already sha.

which kind life be dis sef smh.

quite funny I must say, but this stuff too happens to me.

there was this time I was about to go to a friend's place, I have taken by bath... about to wear my cloth, boom that feeling of going out just left me.

I sit back, whatsapped the guy that an emergency came out while deep down I knew nothing happened.

Rubbiish:

Lolsss
This guy is funny

how am I funny?

Xzbit91:


There is which is why I recommend that you start reading up on self improvement books for introverts, social anxiety materials. They've been already listed in the first few pages of this thread. You can also find YouTube videos relevant to your situation.

It's great that you've identified the areas of your life that need improvement. What matters now is what you do with that information.

But if I may ask, why are you afraid standing up for yourself? Is it that what they're saying about you is true? How hard do you find it to articulate yourself?

I m always scared of disgracing myself.

If its false, my response always made it look like it's true.

Very hard. I don't really understand what is wrong with me.

during my secondary school days i don't socialize and it is killing me alot..i tried to work things out by going out with my friends though we don't think same....what really worsen the matter was when I was admitted to the polythecnic.my dad told me I'll be staying put with his relatives... since I've changed my environment i don't usually get myself again...am always alone, no one to talk with.no friends except my mobile phone... it's really draining me alot am no longer thinking straight.....my relatives are blocking me from having friends,am depressed,pls help a brother

Hmmmmmnnnnn

Imogenn:
I really don’t know where all this stems from. I’ve always been that shy quiet kid from childhood. But it’s just gotten worse as I’ve transformed into adulthood.
Sometimes I feel I’m not adequate enough because I’m so quiet in a world full of confident people. I’m very conscious about my looks, as I’ve been told I’m ugly more than beautiful in my lifetime, that could be another reason. I feel everywhere I go, people must always have one negative/weird thing to say about me, so it’s just strange. I’m troubled.

You just have to learn to be comfortable in your own skin. It's okay to be self-conscious sometimes but don't dwell on it too much. Find something that interests you, develop yourself and see your confidence soar. Don't always expect the approval of others, and don't let them define the barometer of your life. All the best.

tunjilee003:
during my secondary school days i don't socialize and it is killing me alot..i tried to work things out by going out with my friends though we don't think same....what really worsen the matter was when I was admitted to the polythecnic.my dad told me I'll be staying put with his relatives... since I've changed my environment i don't usually get myself again...am always alone, no one to talk with.no friends except my mobile phone... it's really draining me alot am no longer thinking straight.....my relatives are blocking me from having friends,am depressed,pls help a brother

What you're going through is perfectly normal for one who is shy and introverted. But, it is imperative that you try to make contact with people instead of being on your phone. As a student, the classroom provides you a veritable opportunity to socialise. Ask your mates for help on courses you don't understand. Also offer to help those who are not as strong as you in other subjects. Always remember you have something someone needs and vice versa. All the best.

As an introvert, I fear I will end up single for life and it scares me. A lot actually!!! I seldom/don''t go out hence meeting a guy I like has been difficult. My life revolves around going to classes,church then straight back to my hostel. some of my Coursemate don't even know me. I am just tired and confused. I am always in a hurry to leave any social gathering..


Really, I am not enjoying this introvert lifestyle a bit and I blame my upbringing. I don't know what to do as I am just too shy for my liking.

Specialbaby:
As an introvert, I fear I will end up single for life and it scares me. A lot actually!!! I seldom/don''t go out hence meeting a guy I like has been difficult. My life revolves around going to classes,church then straight back to my hostel. some of my Coursemate don't even know me. I am just tired and confused. I am always in a hurry to leave any social gathering..


Really, I am not enjoying this introvert lifestyle a bit and I blame my upbringing. I don't know what to do as I am just too shy for my liking.

Lol, u are even lucky u are a girl and not a guy, if na guy how him won take approach babe? But already your own better because na guys go approach u and not the other way round

U know what? U are not getting any younger, it is time for u to leave your comfort zone

After, class or lecture do not be in a hurry to go home, after class just stay around the school evironment for like 35mins, and try to use that 35 to make new friends, most guys prepare to approach a lady in a less crowded environment, because of fear of rejection, so after class there will be less clowd because many people would have gone home

Also try to dress well, when u are in class and u notice u are one of the most dressed person in the class it will booast your self confidence and esteem


Also when inside the class to talk to those siting at your left and right hand side, talk to Dem, it does not matter what u say but how u say it, so u can talk anything or ask any question like, pls what the time? E.t.c


Also try and join choir in your church, good luck

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Specialbaby:
As an introvert, I fear I will end up single for life and it scares me. A lot actually!!! I seldom/don''t go out hence meeting a guy I like has been difficult. My life revolves around going to classes,church then straight back to my hostel. some of my Coursemate don't even know me. I am just tired and confused. I am always in a hurry to leave any social gathering..


Really, I am not enjoying this introvert lifestyle a bit and I blame my upbringing. I don't know what to do as I am just too shy for my liking.

I guess it feels like the whole world is having fun without you
Please do not despair. You have to learn to be comfortable in your skin. Don't be pressured. Look within to find your happiness and be diligent in your studies. You'll find out later that there's more to you than you know now. Give yourself time. All the best.

I have tried to work myself out but everything proved abortive. Sometimes I won't step out from Saturday till Monday morning. These have started to affect my wife and my little daughter.
I neither make, picked nor replied calls despite having call card even stored contacts.
The only thing I have and always with is my phone. I have no friends both in neighborhood and office because I'm always very shy and naive to talk.
What can I do?

All this started since childhood

abdrazak:
I have tried to work myself out but everything proved abortive. Sometimes I won't step out from Saturday till Monday morning. These have started to affect my wife and my little daughter.
I neither make, picked nor replied calls despite having call card even stored contacts.
The only thing I have and always with is my phone. I have no friends both in neighborhood and office because I'm always very shy and naive to talk.
What can I do?

All this started since childhood

Does your wife understand? Is she close to you and can you talk to her? Having a friend in your spouse can help you ease into socializing

Hiqma:


Does your wife understand? Is she close to you and can you talk to her? Having a friend in your spouse can help you ease into socializing

She doesnt understand. We aint so much in talking terms.

abdrazak:

She doesnt understand. We aint so much in talking terms.

Wow, sorry to hear that. How did you meet and why I'd you marry her? Doesn't sound like you two have a lot in common

abdrazak:
I have tried to work myself out but everything proved abortive. Sometimes I won't step out from Saturday till Monday morning. These have started to affect my wife and my little daughter.
I neither make, picked nor replied calls despite having call card even stored contacts.
The only thing I have and always with is my phone. I have no friends both in neighborhood and office because I'm always very shy and naive to talk.
What can I do?

All this started since childhood

Yours is strange
I believe shyness reduce as u grow older
How old are u & how did u approach ur wife?
U shouldn't be this shy at this level of ur life

abdrazak:

She doesnt understand. We aint so much in talking terms.

Bro, I feel your pain. The worst feeling is being misunderstood by your spouse. Many a time you just wish your wife could get into your head and understand what you're going through.

Hiqma:

Wow, sorry to hear that. How did you meet and why I'd you marry her? Doesn't sound like you two have a lot in common

That's for another day. Is it bad for someone to be an introvert?
Most times, its because of my mood swing.

ekitimanalways:

Bro, I feel your pain. The worst feeling is being misunderstood by your spouse. Many a time you just wish your wife could get into your head and understand what you're going through.

You really get it. I always feel if possible to open mind and let people see what is there or talking on someone's behalf.

abdrazak:

That's for another day. Is it bad for someone to be an introvert?
Most times, its because of my mood swing.

It's not bad at all. My own introversion in my opinion is even bordering on misanthropy because I find it very easy to dislike and write people off based on small offences they commit.
But I am currently trying my best to overlook minor faults and have at least three friends.
Its not good for a married person with children to live like an island, it would have worked when you were single and responsible for only yourself but when you have kids you have to take into consideration the fact that you will need help at some point to make your kids lives easier, either through advice on how to raise kids or suggestions for good schools, medicines, and such stuff that help you be a better parent.


This world is truly not an easy one for many introverts. But we must try our best to find just few people we get along with and who we can relate with from time to time.

Rubbiish:

Yours is strange
I believe shyness reduce as u grow older
How old are u & how did u approach ur wife?
U shouldn't be this shy at this level of ur life

I also believe shyness reduces but mine was exception.
She's a friend from childhood and progresses till we got married. I always feel shy to talk to stranger and express myself to people so that they can understood.
She tried her best but proves abortive.
Mind you, I am in my late twenties

SilverG33k:
Something happened today and I would love to share, its about a girl I collected her number....

First off, as an introvert, I've said this lots of time, introverts are the best personality, you can train yourself in a way others will see you as an attractive gentleman, far better than the loud extroverts.

I'm not the only introvert in school na, but that's not the case, she likes my own type of introversion.

So today, she accused me lots of time for being shy, being shy to call, to text, to even say hi

Guyman was just laughing, I was in awe, the voice inside me was giving crazy replies


Her: you are too shy to call
Voice inside me: I don't have the time

Her: 5 years in school and you don't have friends
Vim: lukadiswan, its either you're my close friend or I just know you, simple

Her: Since you collected my number you haven't called me. Are you that shy
Vim: What is wrong with this one, I don't even call my relatives

Her: You're too shy to approach someone you love
Vim: OMG, what have I got myself into?

Her: You saw me and pretended you didn't see me, you're too shy
Vim: I can't shout abeg, dey your dey

We talked for almost an hour, most of the times I defended my personality and sometimes I laugh at how the questions and acquisitions are being thrown at me, lol

The thing is, I recently started approaching ladies randomly and getting their number, I find it interesting nowadays but the real me doesn't have time for any relationship.

Her questions today were bullets and giving back her answers will just feel like I'm being harsh, I could tell her straight that I don't need friends and I won't feel bothered about it, I can even tell her I don't have time making friends, which is the truth but I don't want to sound harsh, she's kinda younger than me.

So guys, fellow introverts, trust me, having lots of friends is rubbish, have just few friends who can have your back all the time, there was a time one of my true friend's dad died, I sent messages every single day to her ever since on WhatsApp, and if she isn't online, I call her, if I start narrating what she did for me ehn...

I'd pick introvert over extrovert if I ever come back to this world

We rock fellas, we rock

So she said I should call her tonight, heaven knows I won't call her, I didn't like the way she questioned my personality, she actually wanted me to act like fellow extroverts, at that point I said no, can't happen... This matter just dey somehow and one mind is telling me I'll delete her number very soon, I hate stress.

if you can't be a friend without trying to change me, please I'm grown up now and I know how special I am, don't stress me abeg

lol.. I rearly call my relatives too

SilverG33k:
Something happened today and I would love to share, its about a girl I collected her number....

First off, as an introvert, I've said this lots of time, introverts are the best personality, you can train yourself in a way others will see you as an attractive gentleman, far better than the loud extroverts.

I'm not the only introvert in school na, but that's not the case, she likes my own type of introversion.

So today, she accused me lots of time for being shy, being shy to call, to text, to even say hi

Guyman was just laughing, I was in awe, the voice inside me was giving crazy replies


Her: you are too shy to call
Voice inside me: I don't have the time

Her: 5 years in school and you don't have friends
Vim: lukadiswan, its either you're my close friend or I just know you, simple

Her: Since you collected my number you haven't called me. Are you that shy
Vim: What is wrong with this one, I don't even call my relatives

Her: You're too shy to approach someone you love
Vim: OMG, what have I got myself into?

Her: You saw me and pretended you didn't see me, you're too shy
Vim: I can't shout abeg, dey your dey

We talked for almost an hour, most of the times I defended my personality and sometimes I laugh at how the questions and acquisitions are being thrown at me, lol

The thing is, I recently started approaching ladies randomly and getting their number, I find it interesting nowadays but the real me doesn't have time for any relationship.

Her questions today were bullets and giving back her answers will just feel like I'm being harsh, I could tell her straight that I don't need friends and I won't feel bothered about it, I can even tell her I don't have time making friends, which is the truth but I don't want to sound harsh, she's kinda younger than me.

So guys, fellow introverts, trust me, having lots of friends is rubbish, have just few friends who can have your back all the time, there was a time one of my true friend's dad died, I sent messages every single day to her ever since on WhatsApp, and if she isn't online, I call her, if I start narrating what she did for me ehn...

I'd pick introvert over extrovert if I ever come back to this world

We rock fellas, we rock

So she said I should call her tonight, heaven knows I won't call her, I didn't like the way she questioned my personality, she actually wanted me to act like fellow extroverts, at that point I said no, can't happen... This matter just dey somehow and one mind is telling me I'll delete her number very soon, I hate stress.

if you can't be a friend without trying to change me, please I'm grown up now and I know how special I am, don't stress me abeg

lol.. I rearly call my relatives too

Hiqma:


It's not bad at all. My own introversion in my opinion is even bordering on misanthropy because I find it very easy to dislike and write people off based on small offences they commit.
But I am currently trying my best to overlook minor faults and have at least three friends.
Its not good for a married person with children to live like an island, it would have worked when you were single and responsible for only yourself but when you have kids you have to take into consideration the fact that you will need help at some point to make your kids lives easier, either through advice on how to raise kids or suggestions for good schools, medicines, and such stuff that help you be a better parent.


This world is truly not an easy one for many introverts. But we must try our best to find just few people we get along with and who we can relate with from time to time.

That's exactly my fear now so that I won't use my own being to destroy my daughter's future. Reason being that she is more closer to me than her mom.

abdrazak:

That's exactly my fear now so that I won't use my own being to destroy my daughter's future. Reason being that she is more closer to me than her mom.

Can you join some clubs like religious clubs or rotary ( if you can give charity from time to time) or any other club you feel comfortable with.
You can meet people there. If you are the type that takes alcohol you can take some to relax a little in your first few interactions with people in your club so you get used to them and subsequent interactions won't be so hard.

In my own case na by force I force myself to socialise. I used to find that I struggle to know what to talk about or struggle to make small talk in social situations but I just forced myself to make the only two friends I have presently. Both of them know I am introverted but its like they don't care, thank God for that.

In our earlier interactions I would just go blank when with them and then the awkward silence I hate so much comes up again. But I bore the embarrassment and kept visiting them like that and forcing them to be my friend. I tried hard to be very nice though, so they will like me inspire of the fact that I used to be boring to them during visits.

Na little by little sha. Just hiding away will solve nothing, force yourself to get into social situations. Some of these interactions will embarrass you and hurt you but you must overlook and keep trying. If you must make progress.

You can have two or three short stories to tell in case you are in a situation where you have to talk, just keep the stories in mind. Or learn politics, know some of the things happening in society to bring up when gisting. Men love football so football is a good go to topic.


See how I typed heaven and earth here, but if na to talk am for real life na different thing

abdrazak:
I have tried to work myself out but everything proved abortive. Sometimes I won't step out from Saturday till Monday morning. These have started to affect my wife and my little daughter.
I neither make, picked nor replied calls despite having call card even stored contacts.
The only thing I have and always with is my phone. I have no friends both in neighborhood and office because I'm always very shy and naive to talk.
What can I do?

All this started since childhood

First tin First learn to accept who u are...Bro

Family is key bro fget unnecessary fake friendz...

Hiqma:


Can you join some clubs like religious clubs or rotary ( if you can give charity from time to time) or any other club you feel comfortable with.
You can meet people there. If you are the type that takes alcohol you can take some to relax a little in your first few interactions with people in your club so you get used to them and subsequent interactions won't be so hard.

In my own case na by force I force myself to socialise. I used to find that I struggle to know what to talk about or struggle to make small talk in social situations but I just forced myself to make the only two friends I have presently. Both of them know I am introverted but its like they don't care, thank God for that.

In our earlier interactions I would just go blank when with them and then the awkward silence I hate so much comes up again. But I bore the embarrassment and kept visiting them like that and forcing them to be my friend. I tried hard to be very nice though, so they will like me inspire of the fact that I used to be boring to them during visits.

Na little by little sha. Just hiding away will solve nothing, force yourself to get into social situations. Some of these interactions will embarrass you and hurt you but you must overlook and keep trying. If you must make progress.

You can have two or three short stories to tell in case you are in a situation where you have to talk, just keep the stories in mind. Or learn politics, know some of the things happening in society to bring up when gisting. Men love football so football is a good go to topic.


See how I typed heaven and earth here, but if na to talk am for real life na different thing

Thanks Hiqma for your advice and encouragement. God bless.

PS: sent pm

My introversion is a mental illness

JacksonMS:
My introversion is a mental illness

warisdisone saying

JacksonMS:
My introversion is a mental illness

Y'all making me feel like i'm the only one enjoying my introversion. Like dude!!, it's d best thing that has ever happened to me.

In a world that is gradually going crazy, if u loose ur sanity as an introvert, u are to blame. It's good you are here..welcome!!


Caspice.