My wife started behaving strangely immediately I lost my job in April 2017. She leaves home to her mum at the slightest disagreement without even communicating or making to express her feelings; and to worsen it, her mum gives her a great welcome with a room and parlour for her to stay, without even calling me to discuss what the problem. Whatever her daughter says is always the final, and she concludes on that.

My wife literarily destroyed my image before my in-laws to such an extent that I can't even visit them again. She tells them i insult her and her parents, and i make negative remarks about them, that i abuse her verbally at the slightest provocation. Several lies against me that I did not allow her travel out, I don't give her money, I told her not to have another kid, that I told her not to work, her mother has decided to keep her with her as I speak without even calling me to discuss, even despite all my appeals. She has been with her mum now for almost ten months(my wife is a fully grown legally married faithful woman of almost 40 years)

All these disrespect, probably cos I lost my job two years ago of which I fulfilled all responsibilities to the home. i don't drink, i don't smoke, don't womanise(even till now) I have never beaten her, I never another child out of my matrimonial home, and never impregnated another woman.

Rather than resolve her marital problem by discussing with her husband, she takes it to her family claiming emotional abuse. Fine, I agree I get provoked cos of her persistent shortcomings, and of course, frustration which leads to unguided vocal utterances towards her, but this could have been resolved easily without having to involve her whole family. Now what she keeps telling my family is that her family said she should still hold on at her mum's place. This is the 10th month since October 2018.

The last time my mum went to her mum's house precisely June last month, she was asked if she was still interested in her marriage, and she said yes, that she does not intend leaving her marriage; but we should give her time. Her mother practically told me to go and do something meaningful, and that there is time to marry, separate, reunite and hustle. Her mum is the one controlling her movements and everything about her for now; not even giving her room to give me audience.

Pls advise on what to do.

We are legally married.

Move on

Tunagee:
My wife started behaving strangely immediately I lost my job in April 2017. She leaves home to her mum at the slightest disagreement without even communicating or making to express her feelings; and to worsen it, her mum gives her a great welcome with a room and parlour for her to stay, without even calling me to discuss what the problem. Whatever her daughter says is always the final, and she concludes on that.
My wife literarily destroyed my image before my in-laws to such an extent that I can't even visit them again. She tells them i insult her and her parents, and i make negative remarks about them, that i abuse her verbally at the slightest provocation. Several lies against me that I did not allow her travel out, I don't give her money, I told her not to have another kid, that I told her not to work, her mother has decided to keep her with her as I speak without even calling me to discuss, even despite all my appeals. She has been with her mum now for almost ten months(my wife is a fully grown legally married faithful woman of almost 40 years)
All these disrespect, probably cos I lost my job two years ago of which I fulfilled all responsibilities to the home. i don't drink, i don't smoke, don't womanise(even till now) I have never beaten her, I never another child out of my matrimonial home, and never impregnated another woman.
Rather than resolve her marital problem by discussing with her husband, she takes it to her family claiming emotional abuse. Fine, I agree I get provoked cos of her persistent shortcomings, and of course, frustration which leads to unguided vocal utterances towards her, but this could have been resolved easily without having to involve her whole family. Now what she keeps telling my family is that her family said she should still hold on at her mum's place. This is the 10th month since October 2018.
The last time my mum went to her mum's house precisely June last month, she was asked if she was still interested in her marriage, and she said yes, that she does not intend leaving her marriage; but we should give her time.Her mother practically told me to go and do something meaningful, and that there is time to marry, separate, reunite and hustle. Her mum is the one controlling her movements and everything about her for now; not even giving her room to give me audience.
Pls advise on what to do.
We are legally married.

Ever heard of a word called 'Divorce'?......

Tunagee:
My wife started behaving strangely immediately I lost my job in April 2017. She leaves home to her mum at the slightest disagreement without even communicating or making to express her feelings; and to worsen it, her mum gives her a great welcome with a room and parlour for her to stay, without even calling me to discuss what the problem. Whatever her daughter says is always the final, and she concludes on that.
My wife literarily destroyed my image before my in-laws to such an extent that I can't even visit them again. She tells them i insult her and her parents, and i make negative remarks about them, that i abuse her verbally at the slightest provocation. Several lies against me that I did not allow her travel out, I don't give her money, I told her not to have another kid, that I told her not to work, her mother has decided to keep her with her as I speak without even calling me to discuss, even despite all my appeals. She has been with her mum now for almost ten months(my wife is a fully grown legally married faithful woman of almost 40 years)
All these disrespect, probably cos I lost my job two years ago of which I fulfilled all responsibilities to the home. i don't drink, i don't smoke, don't womanise(even till now) I have never beaten her, I never another child out of my matrimonial home, and never impregnated another woman.
Rather than resolve her marital problem by discussing with her husband, she takes it to her family claiming emotional abuse. Fine, I agree I get provoked cos of her persistent shortcomings, and of course, frustration which leads to unguided vocal utterances towards her, but this could have been resolved easily without having to involve her whole family. Now what she keeps telling my family is that her family said she should still hold on at her mum's place. This is the 10th month since October 2018.
The last time my mum went to her mum's house precisely June last month, she was asked if she was still interested in her marriage, and she said yes, that she does not intend leaving her marriage; but we should give her time.Her mother practically told me to go and do something meaningful, and that there is time to marry, separate, reunite and hustle. Her mum is the one controlling her movements and everything about her for now; not even giving her room to give me audience.
Pls advise on what to do.
We are legally married.

I'm sorry about your plight.
I hope the Lord almighty provide you with a good job and lots of money.
There are 2 sides to a story . So, I'll keep my opinion to myself for now.

Lexusgs430:



Ever heard of a word called 'Divorce'?......

Nah so e easy

Honestly this is sad, from all your write up, the problem started when you lost your job, meaning all was fine before then, meaning you enticed her with money when you both started dating, meaning there was never real love in the first place just love for material and financial gain, well,since she is still interested in the marriage, give her more time that she needs, do your part by calling and seeing her not just sending your mum to go there, make steps too towards getting her back cos it's obvious you both still want to be together, all the best.

P.S To all those guys that says "make money first then women will flow your way" this is the end result.

OsuEbonyi:

Nah so e easy

Bro, I thought of it, but my faith as a christian won't allow me. More so, am from a broken home so I know what separation is, and the effect on the kids. Thirdly, the courts can take some years to divorce couples, especially when they don't see any tangible reason, and in the end, they tell couples to go settle their differences, especially when one spouse still shows interest. Am in my early 40's

OsuEbonyi:

Nah so e easy

What makes it difficult?.....

Your whining, lack of balls but enough mouth to engage your wife in a needless banter is the reason why she and her mother have got zero respect for you, my brother.

If you could, just ignore them and forget the so-called wife with her mom.

Na dem go begin beg you say Eleru, wa gberu re o

Tunagee:


Bro, I thought of it, but my faith as a christian won't allow me. More so, am from a broken home so I know what separation is, and the effect on the kids. Thirdly, the courts can take some years to divorce couples, especially when they don't see any tangible reason, and in the end, they tell couples to go settle their differences, especially when one spouse still shows interest. Am in my early 40's

Are you more spiritual than Oyakhilome?......

Fountainofyouth:
Honestly this is sad, from all your write up, the problem started when you lost your job, meaning all was fine before then, meaning you enticed her with money when you both started dating, meaning there was never real love in the first place just love for material and financial gain, well,since she is still interested in the marriage, give her more time that she needs, do your part by calling and seeing her not just sending your mum to go there, make steps too towards getting her back cos it's obvious you both still want to be together, all the best.

P.S To all those guys that says "make money first then women will flow your way" this is the end result.

I did not entice her with money, I was working for a multinational and was also privilege to have my own home. I was just on the average earning about 80k, but living in my own house. Did not have a car when we got married

My wife started behaving strangely immediately I lost my job in April 2017.









yep I stopped reading at this point

divorce am immediately

probably married for d high paying job u had

Well, nobody knows the future.


But personally, whenever it is that I finally 'jam' that stage when I will have a lot of money, my interest in women will diminish greatly.


As the door to riches open, the door to my heart will close. Because any woman who shows love or approach to me then, I may not be sure what she is actually showing love to; me or the money? Especially when the lady knew me before I made money and used to act like I do not exist.


And I will hate it upon realizing that the woman I married, married me because of my money. In fact, I may send her out No place for such a despicable human being in my home.


Anyways, OP, if your story is true, you are welcome to the club cause you are not the first man women will show such attitude. If ur story is true, it is obvious she came for the money and now that the money is leaving, she is leaving. Believe me, such a woman is not worth a companion.


Well, people have different perceptions of divorce so I do not know abour you but what I want u to know is what I have said; if your story is true, such a woman should not be allowed in one's life as a man for the sake of progress, peace of mind and sanity. That woman is not worth taking as a wife. So it is left to you

Fountainofyouth:
Honestly this is sad, from all your write up, the problem started when you lost your job, meaning all was fine before then, meaning you enticed her with money when you both started dating, meaning there was never real love in the first place just love for material and financial gain, well,since she is still interested in the marriage, give her more time that she needs, do your part by calling and seeing her not just sending your mum to go there, make steps too towards getting her back cos it's obvious you both still want to be together, all the best.

P.S To all those guys that says "make money first then women will flow your way" this is the end result.

babe go don already dey make plans to jakpa so dis advice wey u dey give op might not work. i just pray one malaysian bigboy with benz no dey d picture cos if one dey then all we need say is rest in peace in advance to d marriage.

OladimejiRufai:
Well, nobody knows the future.


But personally, whenever it is that I finally 'jam' that stage when I will have a lot of money, my interest in women will diminish greatly.


As the door to riches open, the door to my heart will close. Because any woman who shows love or approach to me then, I may not be sure what she is actually showing love to; me or the money? Especially when the lady knew me before I made money and used to act like I do not exist.


And I will hate it upon realizing that the woman I married, married me because of my money. In fact, I may send her out No place for such a despicable human being in my home.


Anyways, OP, if your story is true, you are welcome to the club cause you are not the first man women will show such attitude. If ur story is true, it is obvious she came for the money and now that the money is leaving, she is leaving. Believe me, such a woman is not worth a companion.


Well, people have different perceptions of divorce so I do not know abour you but what I want u to know is what I have said; if your story is true, such a woman should not be allowed in one's life as a man for the sake of progress, peace of mind and sanity. That woman is not worth taking as a wife. So it is left to you

Bro, n o be story o! This is currently happening to me. Its the first time I would ever post about my life issues on social media. Just want to learn from opinions here in addition to what friends and families, pastors have said.

Don't you see her mother domineering attitude over her while you were courting? Your wife isn't the problem. It's her mother. That's why it's very very important to look at the family you want to marry into.

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When ubunja, lukui, myself and others are speaking, people like the OP and the frustrated woman called lilwetd.ick would call us frustrated, bitter and broke. Hope you can now see that no money, no love.

A woman cannot love a man except he if satisfies both or one of the following conditions:
1) He has plenty money.
2) He might not have much now but he shows great potential to acquire a lot in the nearest future.

It doesn't matter whether you are handsome or morally upright, if you satisfy these conditions or one of them, they will love you. No money, no love. Too bad you are just realising this.

Surrogate mums for giving you children; a nanny to take care of them until they can safely find their way around the house; and a wide variety of slay queens/prostitutes to pleasure you anytime you want and how you want would have been better.

Tunagee:


Bro, n o be story o! This is currently happening to me. Its the first time I would ever post about my life issues on social media. Just want to learn from opinions here in addition to what friends and families, pastors have said.

Friends, families, pastors, what have they said??


By the way, have you called Mynd44 Lalasticlala farano Rocktation??

I dont support verbal or emotional abuse, give her time to heal, marriage should be based on love not forced. Try to improve your income we all know money brings respect

Kendumazy:
Don't you see her mother domineering attitude over her while you were courting? Your wife isn't the problem. It's her mother. That's why it's very very important to look at the family you want to marry into.

The truth is, we only courted for like a year plus, so I did not see a lot of things about her mum,but till she left, she had always been a well brought up girl, an introvert, and extremely faithful.

Tunagee:


Bro, n o be story o! This is currently happening to me. Its the first time I would ever post about my life issues on social media. Just want to learn from opinions here in addition to what friends and families, pastors have said.

Is she working?

Kendumazy:


Is she working?

She started teaching when I lost my job, but prior, she was operating a shop. I heard she is working for her aunt presently

CaptainMitch:
I dont support verbal or emotional abuse, give her time to heal, marriage should be based on love not forced. Try to improve your income we all know money brings respect

Currently doing something

Tunagee:
My wife started behaving strangely immediately I lost my job in April 2017. She leaves home to her mum at the slightest disagreement without even communicating or making to express her feelings; and to worsen it, her mum gives her a great welcome with a room and parlour for her to stay, without even calling me to discuss what the problem. Whatever her daughter says is always the final, and she concludes on that.
My wife literarily destroyed my image before my in-laws to such an extent that I can't even visit them again. She tells them i insult her and her parents, and i make negative remarks about them, that i abuse her verbally at the slightest provocation. Several lies against me that I did not allow her travel out, I don't give her money, I told her not to have another kid, that I told her not to work, her mother has decided to keep her with her as I speak without even calling me to discuss, even despite all my appeals. She has been with her mum now for almost ten months(my wife is a fully grown legally married faithful woman of almost 40 years)
All these disrespect, probably cos I lost my job two years ago of which I fulfilled all responsibilities to the home. i don't drink, i don't smoke, don't womanise(even till now) I have never beaten her, I never another child out of my matrimonial home, and never impregnated another woman.
Rather than resolve her marital problem by discussing with her husband, she takes it to her family claiming emotional abuse. Fine, I agree I get provoked cos of her persistent shortcomings, and of course, frustration which leads to unguided vocal utterances towards her, but this could have been resolved easily without having to involve her whole family. Now what she keeps telling my family is that her family said she should still hold on at her mum's place. This is the 10th month since October 2018.
The last time my mum went to her mum's house precisely June last month, she was asked if she was still interested in her marriage, and she said yes, that she does not intend leaving her marriage; but we should give her time.Her mother practically told me to go and do something meaningful, and that there is time to marry, separate, reunite and hustle. Her mum is the one controlling her movements and everything about her for now; not even giving her room to give me audience.
Pls advise on what to do.
We are legally married.

another gbola has been hitting her punna she wants freedom to carry out her olosho acts

Martinez39:
When ubunja, lukui, myself and others are speaking, people like the OP and the frustrated woman called lilwetd.ick would call us frustrated, bitter and broke. Hope you can now see that no money, no love.

A woman cannot love a man except he if satisfies both or one of the following conditions:
1) He has plenty money.
2) He might not have much now but he shows great potential to acquire a lot in the nearest future.

It doesn't matter whether you are handsome or morally upright, if you satisfy these conditions or one of them, they will love you. No money, no love. Too bad you are just realising this.

Surrogate mums for giving you children; a nanny to take care of them until they can safely find their way around the house; and a wide variety of slay queens/prostitutes to pleasure you anytime you want and how you want would have been better.

@tunagee

Do bother about finding the right woman, THEY ARE ALL LIKE THAT. SOME DON'T HIDE IT WHILE SOME ARE PRETENDERS.

Problem number 1; you don’t drink, you don’t smoke, you don’t womanise, I hope you watch football, cos if u dont eeehn, na wahala u dey so oh. See ehn, for we brotherhood of the bar, we don’t entaitain this kindaissues. If I were I , I wouldn’t go looking for her again. This is time to test your skills( have your female friends come check u at home. Not that you want to do anything oh, but for reports to get to her that it seems another woman wants to take her place. She will leave her yeye mother), borrowing that phrase ‘if your story is true’.

You got no vice. Now she seems to be like the only thing u got, every now and then you seem lost and empty. Bros, get out there and start looking for a good woman who would love u for u. You don’t even know if she was the one that brought bad luck to u. Abeg celebrate her departure.

A friend of mine got married while he was jobless. Thank God he got a good family. They all rally round him and helped him out, though the wife had a job.. a month into their marriage, dangote fkndtirctions offered him a nice job and oga is doing well now. Thata the kinda luck a good woman come with. Everyone has foregotten that when he wanted to get married baba no get job. Bros, that woman isn’t for you. Go get a new woman who’s gonna be a source of open doors to u. Ire o

It's irresponsible for a grown woman of 40-years to leave her husband's home for her mother's for 10-months now and counting, not caring about your wellbeing or how you're faring. I suppose she took the child with her. You didn't admit any abuse or irresponsible behaviour on your part to have warranted such a move. The reasons you mentioned aren't enough for her to leave her matrimonial home, that is, if what you've written is the complete truth. She obviously doesn't want to be married to you anymore or has someone else she's not telling your about.

Martinez39:
@tunagee

Do bother about finding the right woman, THEY ARE ALL LIKE THAT. SOME DON'T HIDE IT WHILE SOME ARE PRETENDERS.

So there is no for 'better for worse again'
Somebody told me that all women always destroy their husbands image in their family when they have issues. Does it apply to all women?

elmagnifico411:
Problem number 1; you don’t drink, you don’t smoke, you don’t womanise, I hope you watch football, cos if u dont eeehn, na wahala u dey so oh. See ehn, for we brotherhood of the bar, we don’t entaitain this kindaissues. If I were I , I wouldn’t go looking for her again. This is time to test your skills( have your female friends come check u at home. Not that you want to do anything oh, but for reports to get to her that it seems another woman wants to take her place. She will leave her yeye mother), borrowing that phrase ‘if your story is true’.

You got no vice. Now she seems to be like the only thing u got, every now and then you seem lost and empty. Bros, get out there and start looking for a good woman who would love u for u. You don’t even know if she was the one that brought bad luck to u. Abeg celebrate her departure.

A friend of mine got married while he was jobless. Thank God he got a good family. They all rally round him and helped him out, though the wife had a job.. a month into their marriage, dangote fkndtirctions offered him a nice job and oga is doing well now. Thata the kinda luck a good woman come with. Everyone has foregotten that when he wanted to get married baba no get job. Bros, that woman isn’t for you. Go get a new woman who’s gonna be a source of open doors to u. Ire o

Wow! I appreciate your advise. But a responsible woman now would want me to divorce her and marry her; the court process, my age 44, having to go through all that marriage procedure and process again, that is, God forbid, I don't end up with someone even much more worse as a wife.

Tunagee:


So there is no for 'better for worse again'
Somebody told me that all women always destroy their husbands image in their family when they have issues. Does it apply to all women?

Women are not as physically strong as men and they have their manipulative prowess to compensate for that. Women are great at lying, smearing and deception for their own gain. When a woman accuses someone of rape, domestic violence, bad behaviour etc. try not to jump to take their side and look for the evidence. A woman would know she is lying yet she will still put up an Oscar winning cry, in all seriousness, to convince others that somebody raped her, assaulted her or her husband is this or that. The kind of lie they can come up with against you, for their own gain, would surprise you beyond anything .

All women are like that. "For better for worse" is just for mouth. No money, no love.

Tunagee:


Wow! I appreciate your advise. But a responsible woman now would want me to divorce her and marry her; the court process, my age 44, having to go through all that marriage procedure and process again, that is, God forbid, I don't end up with someone even much more worse as a wife.

Do you have children?