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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Wife Abandoned Her Matrimonial Home (65273 Views)
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Re: My Wife Abandoned Her Matrimonial Home by jojooo: 10:25am On Jul 19, 2019 |
If u cant find another job till now try and get a skill I mean try and learn a skill then get ur life back on track then ignore the woman to marry her family. Her attitude is a sign she only married u for her comfort. If I were u I will forget her and move on with my life. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Abandoned Her Matrimonial Home by Nnemuka(f): 10:26am On Jul 19, 2019 |
Fearcom:Go and sit down, foolish fool and the man isn't cheating ? bloody bully, go and speak to your mother like u did to me ewu |
Re: My Wife Abandoned Her Matrimonial Home by Nobody: 10:32am On Jul 19, 2019 |
@Tunagee I may not be married but I have a simple advise for you... Simply live your life. Try to get the negativity out and concentrate on making yourself better. It's obvious your wife is all about the good times and not the bad. Take advantage of the space and simply take care of yourself. Stop interacting with her family, stop telling family your problems... Simply lock up. Don't even call her. Just try to be happy, I'm sure she'll reach out when she realizes she abandoned her family. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Abandoned Her Matrimonial Home by ffo(m): 10:35am On Jul 19, 2019 |
Lexusgs430: is it not better to enter heaven with one hand than burn in hell with complete body. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Abandoned Her Matrimonial Home by Tellemall: 10:37am On Jul 19, 2019 |
Tunagee: You're verbally abusive and you wonder why she ran away. You even boldly say she's not intelligent. That's why you thought she would be stupid enough to continue taking insults from you. Now she's been intelligent enough to go away, and you're pursuing her and acting like the world is over. She has been through a lot. Did you know that the best advice to a person who is abused is for the abused to leave the abuser? You're so horrible she had to leave. Process that. You do not seem to get your problem. You are the problem. It's not her mother who is wise enough to know that an abusive marriage is not a marriage for her daughter . You are verbally abusive. Even if you follow the crooked advice to get another wife, the broom you used to chase your wife away will chase the next one, too. Your wife is there to teach you to be less abusive but you cannot even accept your faults and work on them. You call yourself a Christian, but your attitude of verbal abuse is not Christ like. The Bible says you should make peace with all men, but your "pastor" told you to ignore your wife and because it is what you are made of you agreed with faulty advice. He's dictating terms for you. If your wife listened to her pastor the way you do, you would call her unintelligent and easily influenced by others, the way you claim her mother is doing. Is that how your unique brand of Christianity told you to live? Or is it that you have never read your Bible and what it said about living peacefully? Some Christian you are. As your mother in law told you: go and make some money. And in addition, learn to stop abusing your wife. That is never intelligent. 9 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Wife Abandoned Her Matrimonial Home by Lexusgs430: 10:39am On Jul 19, 2019 |
ffo: Exactly..... Which is why he should chop his marriage off...... |
Re: My Wife Abandoned Her Matrimonial Home by ffo(m): 10:42am On Jul 19, 2019 |
Lexusgs430: Divorce itself is not Gods will. so "chopping" it off is wrong. |
Re: My Wife Abandoned Her Matrimonial Home by Tellemall: 10:48am On Jul 19, 2019 |
KingMicky3286: But you just mentioned that these women are rich. Aren't you a gold digger looking for made women? All women are after money. Green, white, pink, black, yellow, gray. What you call love might be something else she's after. |
Re: My Wife Abandoned Her Matrimonial Home by Lexusgs430: 10:48am On Jul 19, 2019 |
ffo: Kindly explain..... 1 Corinthians 7:15-17 - : Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace. For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife? Only, as the Lord has assigned to each one, as God has called each, in this manner let him walk. And so I direct in all the churches. |
Re: My Wife Abandoned Her Matrimonial Home by princejenks(m): 11:04am On Jul 19, 2019 |
money is respect man, just make that money and she and her parents will come begging, they wouldn't even remember all the things you typed up there, money makes women have short memory. Money stops nonsense! 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Abandoned Her Matrimonial Home by ffo(m): 11:05am On Jul 19, 2019 |
Lexusgs430: this is making reference and talking about separation not "divorce", and also about an unbelieving partner. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Abandoned Her Matrimonial Home by Lexusgs430: 11:07am On Jul 19, 2019 |
ffo: Unbelieving could also mean, not believing in the relationship........ 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Abandoned Her Matrimonial Home by Betapikin101: 11:08am On Jul 19, 2019 |
lilmax: 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Abandoned Her Matrimonial Home by Lexusgs430: 11:09am On Jul 19, 2019 |
ffo: Separation leads to divorce...... Divorce is the next step....... |
Re: My Wife Abandoned Her Matrimonial Home by ffo(m): 11:09am On Jul 19, 2019 |
Lexusgs430: Man and wife must not separate for any other cause than what Christ allows. Divorce, at that time, was very common among both Jews and Gentiles, on very slight pretexts. Marriage is a Divine institution; and is an engagement for life, by God's appointment. We are bound, as much as in us lies, to live peaceably with all men, Ro 12:18, therefore to promote the peace and comfort of our nearest relatives, though unbelievers. It should be the labour and study of those who are married, to make each other as easy and happy as possible. Should a Christian desert a husband or wife, when there is opportunity to give the greatest proof of love? Stay, and labour heartily for the conversion of thy relative. In every state and relation the Lord has called us to peace; and every thing should be done to promote harmony, as far as truth and holiness will permit. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Abandoned Her Matrimonial Home by ffo(m): 11:10am On Jul 19, 2019 |
Lexusgs430: hope you know that separation is different from divorce. The bible permits separation at worst case but not divorce (which is not Gods will for marriage) 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Abandoned Her Matrimonial Home by globatop: 11:12am On Jul 19, 2019 |
Tunagee: The mistake that make many stay with unloving relationships, faith has nothing to do in ur happiness. Your inlaw is bad and it will rub on ur wife, get good job or entrepreneur and stop looking her side. Broken home is not a crime staying in bad marriage is the biggest crime. Get working, you will take care of ur children even with the 2nd wife. All the bad children on the streets are not from broken home. I was able to take care of my children from age 4 to university level despite broken marriage. Pray for the grace. Polygamy is biblical, monogamy is cultural not religious. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Abandoned Her Matrimonial Home by globatop: 11:14am On Jul 19, 2019 |
Tunagee: The mistake that make many stay with unloving relationships, faith has nothing to do in ur happiness. Your inlaw is bad and it will rub on ur wife, get good job or entrepreneur and stop looking her side. Broken home is not a crime staying in bad marriage is the biggest crime. Get working, you will take care of ur children even with the 2nd wife. All the bad children on the streets are not from broken home. I was able to take care of my children from age 4 to university level despite broken marriage. Pray for the grace. Polygamy is biblical, monogamy is cultural not religious. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Abandoned Her Matrimonial Home by godliman: 11:22am On Jul 19, 2019 |
Tunagee:You said you are a Christian right? Here are my own opinion. 1. Pray to God for a new job or the wisdom to create one. 2. Keep visiting your wife and show her all the love you can as the bible commands 3. If in the past you have out of frustration or anger used some unpleasant words on her or family, please apologize to them. 4 Pray for your marriage and wait patiently for God to work. 5. Remember as a Christian, except for adultery, divorce is ruled out. Besides once divorced you cant remarry. 6. I am sure your faith is being tried in the furnace, let the fire refine your character and not ruin it. So avoid frustrations and be thankful even for the little God still gives. 7. Your wife's claim that you don't allow her to work, if true has to be rescinded. If could have been helpful now. 8. Your wife is proving to you that her love for you is not unconditional, yet learn to love her unconditionally, despite this sad discovery. 9. If you have excessively used your veto power as a husband, and she feel oppressed, consider listening to her concerns and relaxing your grip, but still maintain your principles if they are humane and sensible. God will soon lift up your head and cover you with his glory. Have faith 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Abandoned Her Matrimonial Home by Lexusgs430: 11:24am On Jul 19, 2019 |
ffo: You see that the Bible is a confused book..... People simply choose what part they believe in....... |
Re: My Wife Abandoned Her Matrimonial Home by fullofgrace(m): 11:32am On Jul 19, 2019 |
Just pray 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Abandoned Her Matrimonial Home by ffo(m): 11:37am On Jul 19, 2019 |
Lexusgs430: i guess you are the one confused here, not the Bible 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Abandoned Her Matrimonial Home by neyobills: 11:50am On Jul 19, 2019 |
Tunagee: Let me advice you from personal experience if your own side of the story is as true as it seems. One thing every man, must, realise either single or married is that, every lady has a plan B so stay a step ahead of their games make sure u have a plan C. Having a plan C might not be your thing due to your religious and personal lifestyle however this is exactly where they come in handy to help you heal from the emotional trauma that's why real men never stop exploring even when married because never say never is an, alien when it comes to women issues. The reason I am, writing this is because u have been sincere enough to admit your flaws and you it's obvious you would rather have your wife back,most importantly I want you to heal, because u need to heal before u can start to be useful, even if u get a great job in this state of mind chances are your productivity will be low which is not great for financial stability. In my own opinion due to my experience here is what u need to do. 1.Hustle harder not because of her but just because u might just be about to start a, whole new life entirely all over again which means two families in proxy and therefore more responsibilities. 2.Make sure u send something to your son through her as much as u can much preferably monthly at least not because it convenient but she won't be able to play the irresponsible card on you if the cookie crumbles. 3.Explore,life is too short to be fixated on some woman get a new wardrobe and keep yourself busy,dont be on a revenge plan to be in haste for just any lady, take your time and be open minded,be in a NSA relationship with her,you need some companionship and good sex to make you heal,however u might as well decided not to be sexual based on your discretion. After u are healed them take a, pen and piece, or paper and write down what u have, gained from her so far and what u might have lost,will u be better off without her,every good businessman,will analyse his ROI on any business and if a business is not as buoyant as u thought it should then u diversify. Dont call her unnecessarily but make sure u do at least once in a month just to ask after your kids,goof around,be relaxed when talking to her and not so uptight,act as if nothing happened and u all good. Lastly if your wife returns which I hope and pray happens soon because that's your dream anyway make sure there is NO SEX WHATSOEVER,for at least 3 months after her return so you would have slim chances of been responsible for another man's pregnancy at, it's worst,here is where your plan bees and sees come in as contingency and u won't appear as some needy thirsty little fox. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Abandoned Her Matrimonial Home by Ugosample(m): 11:52am On Jul 19, 2019 |
megareal: so the solution to "verbal abuse" is to pack out of your house for 10 months do you know run verbal abuse the man himself us getting from her and he IS enduring? the woman is largely at fault here the man has lost his job And I know how many wives get when a man loses his job so spare us that crap the op should try to salvage his marriage but IF she is no longer interested he should take a walk jeez women ![]() 3 Likes |
Re: My Wife Abandoned Her Matrimonial Home by Ugosample(m): 11:54am On Jul 19, 2019 |
LordAdam16: you are largely right |
Re: My Wife Abandoned Her Matrimonial Home by KingMicky3286: 12:00pm On Jul 19, 2019 |
I am not a Gold digger, She came to me, I never asked for money, I have a good job that brings dollars to me every month. I have made money before meeting her. She is not after my money, I am not after her money. Tellemall: |
Re: My Wife Abandoned Her Matrimonial Home by purples25(f): 12:02pm On Jul 19, 2019 |
I'm not happy with this woman, that is, if this story is actually true. See time now, to settle issues. She is doing as she wants. Family doing their marriage like its not a serious manner. Treating the man as if he has no authority. The thing that is sad is that, now, if this man divorces her and marries another woman, she will disturb them day and night saying that she is supposed to reap the fruit of her labour. We women feel we can go and come at the expense of someone else's life and plans. We should try to change. Not easy, the picture is hazy, I hope the marriage gets saved in fairness to each party. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Abandoned Her Matrimonial Home by Tellemall: 12:07pm On Jul 19, 2019 |
KingMicky3286: But you keep emphasizing that the girls where you are are rich and white. And how you spent 3M. In naira, of course. Forgive us for thinking it's about money. All women want money. Some want other benefits. That's why they come to you. Same thing goes for men. They always want something from you. |
Re: My Wife Abandoned Her Matrimonial Home by Jamescosmas(m): 12:11pm On Jul 19, 2019 |
Tellemall:Tell him ...u spoke my mind...He is the problem of the wife..once abuser always abuser... 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Wife Abandoned Her Matrimonial Home by IhateInjustice(f): 12:12pm On Jul 19, 2019 |
Tellemall: Don't mind him, too full of himself... He doesn't know that verbal abuse have the same effect as beating, if not worst. He claimed the wife was lying against him to his in-law but from the look of things it's not true. He is shocked that his wife could open up to her family about his real character. Op, you are a Narcissist ...you are the one with a problem . You make excuses of verbally abusing her but capitalize on the fact that she opened up to her family, what exactly do you want, for her to die silently while your unemployed self call her unintelligent and God knows what else you call her. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Wife Abandoned Her Matrimonial Home by Tellemall: 12:17pm On Jul 19, 2019 |
Jamescosmas: If we as men are telling him his fault as an abuser and he's listening to the advice of people who didn't see his confessions that he is one, he should get another wife and see if she won't report him to her mother as well. Except he marries an orphan, there's no in law who will tolerate his verbal abuse on their daughter. Especially when he is living off the daughter. Once an abuser always an abuser, bro. Simple. 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife Abandoned Her Matrimonial Home by godliman: 12:39pm On Jul 19, 2019 |
globatop:Stop giving bad ADVICE, POLYGAMY IS ADULTERY! 1 Like |
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