Fearcom:



The only maybe in this story is this: May be you're crazy. His Wife is cheating. Period

Lexusgs430:


Are you saying you would chop it off?....

Tunagee:


The truth is she has never been intelligent, and does very annoying things, hence my verbal abusive nature towards her. The worst part is that she allows her mother to be dictating terms for her

ffo:


is it not better to enter heaven with one hand than burn in hell with complete body.

Lexusgs430:


Exactly..... Which is why he should chop his marriage off......

KingMicky3286:
Yes

I left a girl I supposed to marry due to this similar situation. I engaged her and paid some money when I arrived Nigeria from Abroad, a month later, I traveled back to my base so that I can get her a visa to join me. She started trouble that I was delaying her visa process after I have spent 1.3m for her visa . She started using has words on me as her life depends on going abroad.

I lost my job in abroad because I have to move to nearby country to get her visa as she have not traveled before. I even did an international passport matching my surname to enable fast approval of documents. Some rich white ladies I left because of her also gave me some money to bring her over as they trusted my transparency In our relationship.

As I could not bear her rude attitude, I called their family and cut off the relationship. Now, I have peace of mind. I am going to marry a white lady now. They cares for those who are good to them.

Since I have been dating my girl now, I have not bought a pant or makeup for her. She don’t need my money or the things that some Nigerian ladies will kill you for if you didn’t buy it for them.

It’s better for a white lady to divorce me rather than an African woman.

I spent close to 3 million naira for 2 and half years just for upkeep of the Nigerian woman. But I have not spent up to 300$ for over 5 years with this white young lady.

She love me die . I will marry her.

Just leave that your wife in her mother’s house, do your things , if she didn’t hear from you, she will come back by herself, then give her conditions.

Disconnect her from your social media accounts so that she will not know anything about you first

ffo:


Divorce itself is not Gods will. so "chopping" it off is wrong.

Lexusgs430:



Kindly explain.....

1 Corinthians 7:15-17 - :

Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace. For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife? Only, as the Lord has assigned to each one, as God has called each, in this manner let him walk. And so I direct in all the churches.

ffo:


this is making reference and talking about separation not "divorce", and also about an unbelieving partner.

lilmax:
My wife started behaving strangely immediately I lost my job in April 2017.
when u get married make u divorce ur wife immediately una get issue. U see marriage matters are very complex u can't judge by a one sided story.If the wife says her own side u will probably be shocked.I still keep saying and I repeat there is no sensible woman that will be willing to let go of her marriage until she has fought for it with all her energy except u marry the insensible one which is ur lose.









yep I stopped reading at this point

divorce am immediately

ffo:


this is making reference and talking about separation not "divorce", and also about an unbelieving partner.

Lexusgs430:


Unbelieving could also mean, not believing in the relationship........

Lexusgs430:


Separation leads to divorce...... Divorce is the next step.......

Tunagee:


Bro, I thought of it, but my faith as a christian won't allow me. More so, am from a broken home so I know what separation is, and the effect on the kids. Thirdly, the courts can take some years to divorce couples, especially when they don't see any tangible reason, and in the end, they tell couples to go settle their differences, especially when one spouse still shows interest. Am in my early 40's

Tunagee:


Bro, I thought of it, but my faith as a christian won't allow me. More so, am from a broken home so I know what separation is, and the effect on the kids. Thirdly, the courts can take some years to divorce couples, especially when they don't see any tangible reason, and in the end, they tell couples to go settle their differences, especially when one spouse still shows interest. Am in my early 40's

Tunagee:
My wife started behaving strangely immediately I lost my job in April 2017. She leaves home to her mum at the slightest disagreement without even communicating or making to express her feelings; and to worsen it, her mum gives her a great welcome with a room and parlour for her to stay, without even calling me to discuss what the problem. Whatever her daughter says is always the final, and she concludes on that.

My wife literarily destroyed my image before my in-laws to such an extent that I can't even visit them again. She tells them i insult her and her parents, and i make negative remarks about them, that i abuse her verbally at the slightest provocation. Several lies against me that I did not allow her travel out, I don't give her money, I told her not to have another kid, that I told her not to work, her mother has decided to keep her with her as I speak without even calling me to discuss, even despite all my appeals. She has been with her mum now for almost ten months(my wife is a fully grown legally married faithful woman of almost 40 years)

All these disrespect, probably cos I lost my job two years ago of which I fulfilled all responsibilities to the home. i don't drink, i don't smoke, don't womanise(even till now) I have never beaten her, I never another child out of my matrimonial home, and never impregnated another woman.

Rather than resolve her marital problem by discussing with her husband, she takes it to her family claiming emotional abuse. Fine, I agree I get provoked cos of her persistent shortcomings, and of course, frustration which leads to unguided vocal utterances towards her, but this could have been resolved easily without having to involve her whole family. Now what she keeps telling my family is that her family said she should still hold on at her mum's place. This is the 10th month since October 2018.

The last time my mum went to her mum's house precisely June last month, she was asked if she was still interested in her marriage, and she said yes, that she does not intend leaving her marriage; but we should give her time. Her mother practically told me to go and do something meaningful, and that there is time to marry, separate, reunite and hustle. Her mum is the one controlling her movements and everything about her for now; not even giving her room to give me audience.

Pls advise on what to do.

We are legally married.

ffo:


hope you know that separation is different from divorce. The bible permits separation at worst case but not divorce (which is not Gods will for marriage)

Lexusgs430:


You see that the Bible is a confused book..... People simply choose what part they believe in.......

Tunagee:
My wife started behaving strangely immediately I lost my job in April 2017. She leaves home to her mum at the slightest disagreement without even communicating or making to express her feelings; and to worsen it, her mum gives her a great welcome with a room and parlour for her to stay, without even calling me to discuss what the problem. Whatever her daughter says is always the final, and she concludes on that.

My wife literarily destroyed my image before my in-laws to such an extent that I can't even visit them again. She tells them i insult her and her parents, and i make negative remarks about them, that i abuse her verbally at the slightest provocation. Several lies against me that I did not allow her travel out, I don't give her money, I told her not to have another kid, that I told her not to work, her mother has decided to keep her with her as I speak without even calling me to discuss, even despite all my appeals. She has been with her mum now for almost ten months(my wife is a fully grown legally married faithful woman of almost 40 years)

All these disrespect, probably cos I lost my job two years ago of which I fulfilled all responsibilities to the home. i don't drink, i don't smoke, don't womanise(even till now) I have never beaten her, I never another child out of my matrimonial home, and never impregnated another woman.

Rather than resolve her marital problem by discussing with her husband, she takes it to her family claiming emotional abuse. Fine, I agree I get provoked cos of her persistent shortcomings, and of course, frustration which leads to unguided vocal utterances towards her, but this could have been resolved easily without having to involve her whole family. Now what she keeps telling my family is that her family said she should still hold on at her mum's place. This is the 10th month since October 2018.

The last time my mum went to her mum's house precisely June last month, she was asked if she was still interested in her marriage, and she said yes, that she does not intend leaving her marriage; but we should give her time. Her mother practically told me to go and do something meaningful, and that there is time to marry, separate, reunite and hustle. Her mum is the one controlling her movements and everything about her for now; not even giving her room to give me audience.

Pls advise on what to do.

We are legally married.

megareal:
Why is nobody seeing that the OP verbally abused his wife, got angry and impatient at her for the slightest things? The woman probably had enough of being viewed as less than nothing and vamoosed to get a much needed peace and self pride back.
If you guys know just how terrible verbal abuse is, you wouldn't be blaming the woman. She probably is smart enough to have realized the effect his words were having on her emotionally and psychologically and made that decision.

OP, forget the myopic and one sided advice from blind and moronic individuals here, go to your wife and tell her what she really wants you to say; a promise that you will not abuse her in anyway again. A reaffirmation that she is human and can be prone to shortcomings but that you still love and respect her with all that. She needs you to change your condescending attitude towards her, you are just too shortsighted to see it.

LordAdam16:


Cut the sh*t out!

Virtually all romantic relationships are business contracts.

Financial pressure is by far the biggest challenge committed relationships face. And this is factual with studies affirming same. Trust me, you (and no guy) wants to find out if their lady would stick around or be their usual self if they lose their current financial standing for an extended period of time.

That's when you'd know marriage vows and proclamations of love are empty words.

-Lord

Tellemall:


But you just mentioned that these women are rich. Aren't you a gold digger looking for made women?

All women are after money. Green, white, pink, black, yellow, gray.

What you call love might be something else she's after.

KingMicky3286:
I am not a Gold digger, She came to me, I never asked for money, I have a good job that brings dollars to me every month.

I have made money before meeting her. She is not after my money, I am not after her money.

Tellemall:


You're verbally abusive and you wonder why she ran away. You even boldly say she's not intelligent. That's why you thought she would be stupid enough to continue taking insults from you. Now she's been intelligent enough to go away, and you're pursuing her and acting like the world is over. She has been through a lot.

Did you know that the best advice to a person who is abused is for the abused to leave the abuser? You're so horrible she had to leave. Process that.

You do not seem to get your problem. You are the problem. It's not her mother who is wise enough to know that an abusive marriage is not a marriage for her daughter . You are verbally abusive. Even if you follow the crooked advice to get another wife, the broom you used to chase your wife away will chase the next one, too. Your wife is there to teach you to be less abusive but you cannot even accept your faults and work on them.

You call yourself a Christian, but your attitude of verbal abuse is not Christ like. The Bible says you should make peace with all men, but your "pastor" told you to ignore your wife and because it is what you are made of you agreed with faulty advice. He's dictating terms for you. If your wife listened to her pastor the way you do, you would call her unintelligent and easily influenced by others, the way you claim her mother is doing. Is that how your unique brand of Christianity told you to live? Or is it that you have never read your Bible and what it said about living peacefully? Some Christian you are.

As your mother in law told you: go and make some money.

And in addition, learn to stop abusing your wife. That is never intelligent.

Tellemall:


You're verbally abusive and you wonder why she ran away. You even boldly say she's not intelligent. That's why you thought she would be stupid enough to continue taking insults from you. Now she's been intelligent enough to go away, and you're pursuing her and acting like the world is over. She has been through a lot.

Did you know that the best advice to a person who is abused is for the abused to leave the abuser? You're so horrible she had to leave. Process that.

You do not seem to get your problem. You are the problem. It's not her mother who is wise enough to know that an abusive marriage is not a marriage for her daughter . You are verbally abusive. Even if you follow the crooked advice to get another wife, the broom you used to chase your wife away will chase the next one, too. Your wife is there to teach you to be less abusive but you cannot even accept your faults and work on them.

You call yourself a Christian, but your attitude of verbal abuse is not Christ like. The Bible says you should make peace with all men, but your "pastor" told you to ignore your wife and because it is what you are made of you agreed with faulty advice. He's dictating terms for you. If your wife listened to her pastor the way you do, you would call her unintelligent and easily influenced by others, the way you claim her mother is doing. Is that how your uniq6ue brand of Christianity told you to live? Or is it that you have never read your Bible and what it said about living peacefully? Some Christian you are.

As your mother in law told you: go and make some money.

And in addition, learn to stop abusing your wife. That is never intelligent.

Jamescosmas:
Tell him ...u spoke my mind...He is the problem of the wife..once abuser always abuser...

globatop:


The mistake that make many stay with unloving relationships, faith has nothing to do in ur happiness. Your inlaw is bad and it will rub on ur wife, get good job or entrepreneur and stop looking her side. Broken home is not a crime staying in bad marriage is the biggest crime. Get working, you will take care of ur children even with the 2nd wife. All the bad children on the streets are not from broken home. I was able to take care of my children from age 4 to university level despite broken marriage. Pray for the grace. Polygamy is biblical, monogamy is cultural not religious.