Hi there,

Can someone please explain to me why educated Christian ladies make it so difficult for serious minded men to woo them? I'm not just speaking fresh from reading a post on social media or something i am talking about my own experience.

It's not easy at all for a man to find a godly woman in Nigeria in this day and age much less one he really likes who suits his natural choice. When they are under 30 they behave so proudly like God will send them a husband direct form heaven instead of on earth. The ones of 30 and above and self ordained pastors who will criticize you in everything so you regret crossing paths with them.

I've been looking since this year. Met 3 at different women i liked at different points. The first one, 32, criticized the life out of me heart. Change she won't but I am the one that must change to suit her. The second one, 29, was cool but got no answer from God when i prayed about her moreover she wasn't well educated, a stback in my ambitions.

The third i met just a week ago is the one driving me nuts. I'm Igbo, late thirties and she is Calarbar, 29. The fact that i am willing to cross the ethnic barrier to get her say a lot. But in 5 days of trying i have not been able to start up a conversation with this woman on whatapp *(we met there after we joined the same whatapp group and exited less than a day later for same reason.. the people there were worldly). It's not that she is cold or something, when i asked for her photos she obliged. But then if I ask so lengthy question, any at all she would shoot down with a non-committed one word answer. When i voiced my displeasure two days ago she apologized, saying she was in prayer. Do you want me to leave you alone? She said no. Is someone else in your life? she said no.

I let her be then. I told her when she's done with her prayers she should tell me. Today is the third day and she was last seen this morning on whatsapp but no message to me.


I don't understand and I'm tired. But one thing is for sure. God will give me a god woman to marry this year. One to make me happy and fill my life with good things. Amen.

You are chasing the wrong women sir.

Oche211:
You are chasing the wrong women sir.

Yeah, figured as much.

It is normal. They are more aware of the many dangers that comes with different unknown suitors.

Oche211:
You are chasing the wrong women sir.

Ojiniman:
Yeah, figured as much.

Dont relent. I am going to let you in on a little secret. I prayed to God with a checklist of what I want and need in a missus. Within a short while, less than six months after, God answered my prayer with everything, just as I asked on the list, checked. The first day, I met my missus, it was a conscious attempt with a friend, to go out, to meet girls, so we jumped into our cars, and boom, that was how I bumped into my missus and the rest is history.

So my dear fellow, do the prayer, remember to specify your wants and/or needs, then go out and about, alert and of course, with eyes peeled wide open. Doing the slide into someone’s DM in order to register interest, is allowed and game too.

MuttleyLaff:


Dont relent. I am going to let you in on a little secret. I prayed to God with a checklist of what I want and need in a missus. Within a short while, less than six months after, God answered my prayer with everything, just as I asked on the list, checked. The first day, I met my missus, it was a conscious attempt with a friend, to go out, to meet girls, so we jumped into our cars, and boom, that was how I bumped into my missus and the rest is history.

So my dear fellow, do the prayer, remember to specify your wants and/or needs, then go out and about, alert and of course, with eyes peeled wide open. Doing the slide into someone’s DM in order to register interest, is allowed and game too.

Thank you for this advice. I will make my own list tonight and use it in my midnight prayer

MuttleyLaff:


Dont relent. I am going to let you in on a little secret. I prayed to God with a checklist of what I want and need in a missus. Within a short while, less than six months after, God answered my prayer with everything, just as I asked on the list, checked. The first day, I met my missus, it was a conscious attempt with a friend, to go out, to meet girls, so we jumped into our cars, and boom, that was how I bumped into my missus and the rest is history.

So my dear fellow, do the prayer, remember to specify your wants and/or needs, then go out and about, alert and of course, with eyes peeled wide open. Doing the slide into someone’s DM in order to register interest, is allowed and game too.

Baba I hail o


The checklist prayer; my type of prayer.

The people of "the world", they don't know warris going on

You just continue with your hustle, cross your legs and tell God what you want in a partner. In a few months, boom baba will just special package the person to cross your part, somehow somehow.

They don't know warris going on.

I have always said, finding a spouse is the easiest thing for a Christian who has the Holy Spirit and understands that prayer is communication between father and child.

That is the easiest part of marriage. The though part then come in the journey itself because no one is perfect. That one can even be easy if you download expo from baba himself ( if you know what I'm talking about).

Alas it is the hardest part even for Christians. They would rather do sampling and resampling. Waste time they would have used for profitable things. Suffer emotional torture.

They are running on multiple OS na.
-The spiritual one.
-The academic one.

Then the natural feminine OS.

You sef check am. Them pack plenty principles for body. If you hack the academic one, the spiritual one dey wait you for front. You hack spiritual, the natural female instincts will come into full play.

Trump Wall dey learn work for where them dey... Defense is fortified.

Don't blame them, if you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything. They should sha take it easy, this includes their male counterparts.

He that finds a wife, finds a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord.

If a woman proves too difficult to woo, leave her alone; she isn't for you. Marriage isn't a 100 meters sprint, it's a marathon. This is why many married people get tired of their spouses and want a divorce.

If you are patient enough, God will favourably lead you to a woman who loves you sincerely just the way you are. But it's not automatic; you have to be really prayerful, patient and sensitive to God's timing.

They can sense your desperation. You have to take it slow. I believe you have a job, give it the best shot. Instead of long chats, try to call often and fix dates between you both to know each other more. Besides what do you mean you never heard from God for the second girl? Your mind was already biased about her being uneducated. You have to be sincere man before you can get a good woman.

jesmond3945:
They can sense your desperation. You have to take it slow. I believe you have a job, give it the best shot. Instead of long chats, try to call often and fix dates between you both to know each other more. Besides what do you mean you never heard from God for the second girl? Your mind was already biased about her being uneducated. You have to be sincere man before you can get a good woman.

Yeah, I was prejudiced alright but if God had said "go" i would have made the move. No regrets though, put her through school at this point in my life would have been a problem. Don't have time for that.

Ojiniman:


Yeah, I was prejudiced alright but if God had said "go" i would have made the move. No regrets though, put her through school at this point in my life would have been a problem. Don't have time for that.

like i said, you were already biased and God doesnt speak to a biased mind. Your heart must be neutral then God would speak. What if you trained her and she bacame someone great tommorow? I know so many who are doing that and they never looked back.

Uhmmm I will be reading comments.
Read my signature

jesmond3945:
like i said, you were already biased and God doesnt speak to a biased mind. Your heart must be neutral then God would speak. What if you trained her and she bacame someone great tommorow? I know so many who are doing that and they never looked back.

I'm not your regular Christian. I'm something of a seer on suspension. Long and very complex story. I assure you i know exactly what God does with biassed minds that ask him things. Circumstances differ, though. I am not worried at all about not getting an answer under the circumstance.

My USA based uncle, my late father's only brother, who is my sworn enemy today for reasons i cannot understand has a nurse for a wife. She was an O'level in the East when he married her in 1983 and took her overseas. I saw her graduation photos from Texas stat University about 10 years later. Today she has 4 grown kids, all US citizens.

My father was a teacher who home schooled his own wife, a student in a secondary school where worked in the 1970s.

If anyone know about training women after marriage its me. I will train my wife but not from O'level. I want to do that from BSc to Ph.D. I have my reasons. Moreover, this particular girl in question doesn't thick a few important boxes on my list. So the question you might want to ask me now is if i find one who ticks all those other important boxes but is at O'level will i be willing to train her.from ground up.... YES!


You see, I want to be someone very great tomorrow. I have everything i need already in place except a wife and it's affecting me in a bad way.

generationz:
Baba I hail o


The checklist prayer; my type of prayer.

The people of "the world", they don't know warris going on

You just continue with your hustle, cross your legs and tell God what you want in a partner. In a few months, boom baba will just special package the person to cross your part, somehow somehow.
They don't know warris going on.
I have always said, finding a spouse is the easiest thing for a Christian who has the Holy Spirit and understands that prayer is communication between father and child.

That is the easiest part of marriage. The though part then come in the journey itself because no one is perfect. That one can even be easy if you download expo from baba himself ( if you know what I'm talking about).

Alas it is the hardest part even for Christians. They would rather do sampling and resampling. Waste time they would have used for profitable things. Suffer emotional torture.

It is true "they don't know warris going on" but "eventuarry" they will I pray, because having a wife is not beans, not many men can handle, in her own right, a badass, strong, opinionated, powerful, successful and intelligent virtuous woman. I am beginning to think and doubt from this brother's comments that he has the capacity and grace for such a woman as a wife

MuttleyLaff:
It is true "they don't know warris going on" but "eventuarry" they will I pray, because having a wife is not beans, not many men can handle, in her own right, a badass, strong, opinionated, powerful, successful and intelligent virtuous woman. I am beginning to think and doubt from this brother's comments that he has the capacity and grace for such a woman as a wife

Not many men o.

But Those who can always enjoy us well


But wait o Boda Mutty, did you really pray for an opinionated woman?

If you did you are one of the rarest species of men in Nigeria

ugly men are the ones finding it difficult in wooing Christian women op.

Ojiniman:


I'm not your regular Christian. I'm something of a seer on suspension. Long and very complex story. I assure you i know exactly what God does with biassed minds that ask him things. Circumstances differ, though. I am not worried at all about not getting an answer under the circumstance.

My USA based uncle, my late father's only brother, who is my sworn enemy today for reasons i cannot understand has a nurse for a wife. She was an O'level in the East when he married her in 1983 and took her overseas. I saw her graduation photos from Texas stat University about 10 years later. Today she has 4 grown kids, all US citizens.

My father was a teacher who home schooled his own wife, a student in a secondary school where worked in the 1970s.

If anyone know about training women after marriage its me. I will train my wife but not from O'level. I want to do that from BSc to Ph.D. I have my reasons. Moreover, this particular girl in question doesn't thick a few important boxes on my list. So the question you might want to ask me now is if i find one who ticks all those other important boxes but is at O'level will i be willing to train her.from ground up.... YES!


You see, I want to be someone very great tomorrow. I have everything i need already in place except a wife and it's affecting me in a bad way.

You cannot come to God for a favour when you have already settled in your mind what action to take. You mentioned it clearly she was uneducated and you didnt have resources to pay her fees, why then are you bringing God in the matter?. She didnt tick your boxes because she was uneducated period. if she had a phd you would have overlooked somethings.

I was an accomplished professional and I wanted to settle down with an Ond holder, infact I paid her fees and so on but my family kicked against it. I didnt care and I was ready to brave the odds because when it comes to love it must be unconditional. She was the one who dumped me for another guy. It is the unconditional love you have for a woman that God sees and speaks and it is usually through her character especially how she relates with other people. If you like be a seer, without unconditional love God has no business with you.

What do you mean Olevel? Does Olevel define anyone? Some people didnt have the opportunity to go to school but they would make the best wife than all these slay mamas with Phd.

My advise is this, in this matter of marriage put unconditional love first, have a open neutral mind, dont base your choice on any material stuff like certificate if she is not for you her character would speak loudly.

MuttleyLaff:
It is true "they don't know warris going on" but "eventuarry" they will I pray, because having a wife is not beans, not many men can handle, in her own right, a badass, strong, opinionated, powerful, successful and intelligent virtuous woman. I am beginning to think and doubt from this brother's comments that he has the capacity and grace for such a woman as a wife

Interesting theory you've got up there. Since you've mentioned just about all the behavioral and intellectual qualities i am looking for in a wife let me give you the low down on the physical qualities so you may begin to understand or rather appreciate the challenge I'm facing at the moment.


I don't really care for facial beauty but have a thing for well endowed, light skinned, tall women. However lovely, I don't find dark skinned, small or even average sized women that attractive. but big sized women *(tall and full bodied) always get me, particularly when they are light skinned with prominent hips.

Igbo of origin, gentle matured, 25 to 30, throw in all the qualities you've mentioned already and you have a woman i need. Giver her to me, with God's approval and I will be married man before December when i have attend to some serious land disputes in my home town with men who all decades older than i am.

You see, sir, I am a leader born and chosen before God and man and such positions do not come lightly. I have suffered and made sacrifices that will shock you if you knew the half of it. My father died fairly recently and being the first son this has kicked me to the head of a very large extended family. I have rights and authority that succeeds that of over 50 people several of whom are older, married and based overseas, my aunts and only uncle included. Some of them do not like this, they want my power but can't get it unless I'm dead. Do you know what that means? Do you know how many times i have been served food in my home by different aunties and cousins only for God to send a stranger to tell me that one of them gave me poison he rendered useless and I am to be very careful? Do you know what it means for older people who call themselves uncles and aunties to plot against you and do things like start multi million naira projects on family land without my permission just to see what i will do and to subvert my authority? I handle all these people in real life and you on Nairaland don't think I can handle just one women i call my own? Lol.


Presently, I'm an author but that's only a temporary occupation. I have the calling to God's work which i have been running from for over two decades. It first came when i was 15 years old. I started hearing the voice of the spirit of prophecy at 17. The visions started before that. The gifts come and go but I'm not worried at all. Those gifts will be back in full, making me a force to be reckoned with once i answer God's call which i want to do after marriage. This i know well.


I'm not looking for a wife to stay in my kitchen and other rooms like Mr. Buhari, no. I'm looking for a first lady for my father's house and all the educated women there, one to cook safe foods for me and advice me in all things. A powerful woman with the physical and spiritual strength to support me in my ambition to do God's work on an unprecedented scale internationally. One who, in her beauty, will satisfy my fleshly desires and eliminate the problem of temptation (after running for 20 years and being punished heavily for it i will not be giving God any more chances to find me wanting on earth).

This woman must understand God because it is he that will show her what he has made me so she will understand what i am, what makes me different from ordinary men and the things i must do.

jesmond3945:
You cannot come to God for a favour when you have already settled in your mind what action to take. You mentioned it clearly she was uneducated and you didnt have resources to pay her fees, why then are you bringing God in the matter?. She didnt tick your boxes because she was uneducated period. if she had a phd you would have overlooked somethings.

I was an accomplished professional and I wanted to settle down with an Ond holder, infact I paid her fees and so on but my family kicked against it. I didnt care and I was ready to brave the odds because when it comes to love it must be unconditional. She was the one who dumped me for another guy. It is the unconditional love you have for a woman that God sees and speaks and it is usually through her character especially how she relates with other people. If you like be a seer, without unconditional love God has no business with you.

What do you mean Olevel? Does Olevel define anyone? Some people didnt have the opportunity to go to school but they would make the best wife than all these slay mamas with Phd.

My advise is this, in this matter of marriage put unconditional love first, have a open neutral mind, dont base your choice on any material stuff like certificate if she is not for you her character would speak loudly.

After much thought, I don't wanna go there. The money is not the issue at all, I earn enough in dollars as a writer right now and its better than minimum wage in Nigeria. If you look well too you'll see i mentioned wanting train my woman from Bsc level to Ph.D. That is what i really want.


You cannot come to God for a favour when you have already settled in your mind

I am living proof that God can shoot down a man's decision and exert his right inside that man's life. Every I am today i chose not a single one. God did. I fought him for so many years before surrender. I know what he can do and fear it.


My advise is this, in this matter of marriage put unconditional love first, have a open neutral mind, dont base your choice on any material stuff like certificate if she is not for you her character would speak loudly.

This is exactly what i am doing, bro.

1. Love and satisfaction first.
2. God's opinion next
3. Marriage finally

Ojiniman:
Interesting theory you've got up there. Since you've mentioned just about all the behavioral and intellectual qualities i am looking for in a wife let me give you the low down on the physical qualities so you may begin to understand or rather appreciate the challenge I'm facing at the moment.


I don't really care for facial beauty but have a thing for well endowed, light skinned, tall women. However lovely, I don't find dark skinned, small or even average sized women that attractive. but big sized women *(tall and full bodied) always get me, particularly when they are light skinned with prominent hips.

Igbo of origin, gentle matured, 25 to 30, throw in all the qualities you've mentioned already and you have a woman i need. Giver her to me, with God's approval and I will be married man before December when i have attend to some serious land disputes in my home town with men who all decades older than i am.

You see, sir, I am a leader born and chosen before God and man and such positions do not come lightly. I have suffered and made sacrifices that will shock you if you knew the half of it. My father died fairly recently and being the first son this has kicked me to the head of a very large extended family. I have rights and authority that succeeds that of over 50 people several of whom are older, married and based overseas, my aunts and only uncle included. Some of them do not like this, they want my power but can't get it unless I'm dead. Do you know what that means? Do you know how many times i have been served food in my home by different aunties and cousins only for God to send a stranger to tell me that one of them gave me poison he rendered useless and I am to be very careful? Do you know what it means for older people who call themselves uncles and aunties to plot against you and do things like start multi million naira projects on family land without my permission just to see what i will do and to subvert my authority? I handle all these people in real life and you on Nairaland don't think I can handle just one women i call my own? Lol.


Presently, I'm an author but that's only a temporary occupation. I have the calling to God's work which i have been running from for over two decades. It first came when i was 15 years old. I started hearing the voice of the spirit of prophecy at 17. The visions started before that. The gifts come and go but I'm not worried at all. Those gifts will be back in full, making me a force to be reckoned with once i answer God's call which i want to do after marriage. This i know well.

I'm not looking for a wife to stay in my kitchen and other rooms like Mr. Buhari, no. I'm looking for a first lady for my father's house and all the educated women there, one to cook safe foods for me and advice me in all things. A powerful woman with the physical and spiritual strength to support me in my ambition to do God's work on an unprecedented scale internationally. One who, in her beauty, will satisfy my fleshly desires and eliminate the problem of temptation (after running for 20 years and being punished heavily for it i will not be giving God any more chances to find me wanting on earth).

This woman must understand God because it is he that will show her what he has made me so she will understand what i am, what makes me different from ordinary men and the things i must do.

I know about all the specs you want/need in a woman for a wife because I did the due diligence of going through all the comments you've ever put up on NL. I know also about the challenges you have or whatnot. You come across as a genuine person with good intentions, but I see and detect in you subconscious male chauvinism signs. The telltale signs are, everything you say, is about you, virtually everything about this matter is centred around you, your fleshy desires erhn? What of hers hmm etcetera. Without being in marriage yet, you're already making some mistakes Oyaks did and which ended with cracks in his missus and his marriage, then the breakdown and collapse of the marriage altogether. I am not going to labour this because I know you are a gifted and smart man, besides, when one thing is said, the clever person, like you are understands three.

I am pleased you claim, you like having a wife, who in her own right, is a badass, strong, opinionated, powerful, successful and intelligent virtuous woman, but you seem to not realise that women put on weight and body later on in life. What's stopping you cooking for two and be stuffing your missus up to the body spec you dream of, hmm?

I am dropping pennies in the truth jar for you. Look inward, rebirth and/or reinvent yourself brother

MuttleyLaff:
I know about all the specs you want/need in a woman for a wife because I did the due diligence of going through all the comments you've ever put up on NL. I know also about the challenges you have or whatnot. You come across as a genuine person with good intentions, but I see and detect in you subconscious male chauvinism signs. The telltale signs are, everything you say, is about you, virtually everything about this matter is centred around you, your fleshy desires erhn? What of hers hmm etcetera. Without being in marriage yet, you're already making some mistakes Oyaks did and which ended with cracks in his missus and his marriage, then the breakdown and collapse of the marriage altogether. I am not going to labour this because I know you are a gifted and smart man, besides, when one thing is said, the clever person, like you are understands three.

I am pleased you claim, you like having a wife, who in her own right, is a badass, strong, opinionated, powerful, successful and intelligent virtuous woman, but you seem to not realise that women put on weight and body later on in life. What's stopping you cooking for two and be stuffing your missus up to the body spec you dream of, hmm?

I am dropping pennies in the truth jar for you. Look inward, rebirth and/or reinvent yourself brother

Take a look at the bride in this photo. The light skinned version of her will do for me. Maybe a bit taller and not so heavy since as you rightly pointed out, women do add weight as with time (thank you for that reminder).

https://www.nairaland.com/5339422/man-poses-curvy-fiancee-pre-wedding

There is nothing really strange about my fleshly desire it just a natural choice. Not marrying your natural choice is what makes many men commit adultery. I've seen too often to walk the same path.

A fake man of God can commit adultery with all the women in his church and still retain the power in him because that power is not of God. With true men of God, if they do it even once, they are done. My body is not stone. I will not be taking such risks.

No one is perfect bro, but i promise, I'm not self centered and I will try my best to learn about women and marriage as i go.

pocohantas:
They are running on multiple OS na.
-The spiritual one.
-The academic one.

Then the natural feminine OS.

You sef check am. Them pack plenty principles for body. If you hack the academic one, the spiritual one dey wait you for front. You hack spiritual, the natural female instincts will come into full play.

Trump Wall dey learn work for where them dey... Defense is fortified.

Don't blame them, if you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything. They should sha take it easy, this includes their male counterparts.

Lol

How apt!

Hi Ojiniman, I will like to make an enquiry from you. Please how can I contact you?

creolehunt:
Hi Ojiniman, I will like to make an enquiry from you. Please how can I contact you?

I don't do enquirers for now bro. I haven't got God's authority to do that yet and will never misled people about what I don't have.

I want to marry first then theological training next. Sorry, I am far from ready spiritually.