We got married in 2014, and since then things have not been easy. All what my wife dont do while we were courting are now her usuals.

How do I explain a situation my wife nag of everything? Distespect, shout, talk to me anyhow. How do I explain my wife seen washing my cloth (with a washing machine o) as a favour? We do not have intimate talk again. The only time my wife talk to.me heart to heart is when she want to give me the list of bills. And once that is done...she carry her face again.

The worse part of my travail is that she deprive me of sex. Without exaggeration we sometimes go on 3 months sex break...and anytime she allowed me, it would be like by force and its just once.

I am financially ok, living in my own house in lagos,bought a car for her. I am a Chartered Accountant, currently head of Finance/accounts in my company, and I dont think my physique is not presentable to be a husband.

We have 2 kids and I.love her so much.



Mature advice,please

let me think

A woman only behaves like this if 1)There is someone else in the picture. 2) You did something that has really offended her.

Sit her down and talk but start like this...Present her with a gift and then start the conversation with an apology..."pet name" ( I know I might have offended you,please forgive me...)

Women and psychological torture

You need to talk to her, something is not just right with her maybe you have changed in your relations with her unknowingly ..........and also you need to put your feet down as the head of the house. How can you do all your part well and she fails to do hers yet you still continue to pamper her.

You don buy market. Maybe you too should carry face for her. No take the quarterly seex when offered. Just pretend as if you aren't interested too...soon she would wonder and adjust.

I wonder how people end up with people they aren't interested in hugging everyday... Or shagging every other day. It is well.

Sorry about your marital wore but you need to sit her down and talk to her..Tell her how you feel neglated and ask her"what went wrong "..

Something might be bothering her sir and you might not know about it and concerning the sex part she might have low sex libido..

Are her parents still alive?didnt you notice any signs of these discordant behaviors when you were courting? I suggest you wake her up one midnight and ask her what the problem actually is. This is not the woman you got married to,apologize for whatever she feels you did to her and watch what she does next.
If this behavior continues I suggest you take it up with her friends or your pastor that wedded you.
My one cent

You can count on nairaland queens to make excuses for a terrible wife. Smh

Man up
Face her with all her attitude..

Tell her she isn't the person that you used to think she was.

If she doesn't change after the heart felt conversation



Tell her straight up that you would be exciting the next door.
Life is too short and beautiful to be leaving in bondage and sadness all in the name of love

overdrive:
Are her parents still alive?didnt you notice any signs of these discordant behaviors when you were courting? I suggest you wake her up one midnight and ask her what the problem actually is. This is not the woman you got married to,apologize for whatever she feels you did to her and watch what she does next.
If this behavior continues I suggest you take it up with her friends or your pastor that wedded you.
My one cent

When we were courting was a different ball game. She respect, sensible and at least give me sex when I want it

Just almost four years of marriage and you and your wife are going through such "trauma". It isn't a decade yet!!!

Advice..

If you want to live long enough to enjoy the marriage talk to her.. And if she still keeps behaving like this.. Threaten to walk out of the marriage..

And if she doesn't bulge, Uncle please move on with your kids

Bigbayour:


When we were courting was a different ball game. She respect, sensible and at least give me sex when I want it

the only reason I might act like that to my husband is if I find out he cheated on me and I don’t want to confront him yet.

Go on a date tonight and speak to her about it.

It’s official. I nor go marry again.



Na to find woman give belle make she gimme pikin.

As life hard reach for Nigeria, I can’t use my money to marry a woman to make it harder.


OP is dealing with the hard life outside(Nigeria) and inside(wife)

zeb04:
the only reason I might act like that to my husband is if I find out he cheated on me and I don’t want to confront him yet

Go on a date tonight and speak to her about it.

for 5 years?

Communicate.

Bros since you're comfortable and you can provide for another woman,please do yourself a favor and get another wife. Too much love and comfort make some women to misbehave.

Bigbayour:
We got married in 2014, and since then things have not been easy. All what my wife dont do while we were courting are now her usuals.

How do I explain a situation my wife nag of everything? Distespect, shout, talk to me anyhow. How do I explain my wife seen washing my cloth (with a washing machine o) as a favour? We do not have intimate talk again. The only time my wife talk to.me heart to heart is when she want to give me the list of bills. And once that is done...she carry her face again.

The worse part of my travail is that she deprive me of sex. Without exaggeration we sometimes go on 3 months sex break...and anytime she allowed me, it would be like by force and its just once.

I am financially ok, living in my own house in lagos,bought a car for her. I am a Chartered Accountant, currently head of Finance/accounts in my company, and I dont think my physique is not presentable to be a husband.

We have 2 kids and I.love her so much.



Mature advice,please

You don buy market. You still love her so much? Loool.
Your wife is in charge of your home, and your life. She runs it as she deems fit and you can’t do anything about it. 3months without sex? Are you sure you are not under a spell?
No man or woman deserves to be treated this way and not one who provides for his family. You need to take charge of your home. Take control and demand the respect and loyalty you deserve. Shout down, burn down, break down, tear down and destroy whatever stands in the way.
Your wife needs a small dose of your inner demon to bring her back to factory settings. It’s not too late to regain control.
If you have been a good and faithful husband, then you have a right to raise hell. It’s obvious you are a softie, women like this prey on softies. If you want to live long, you need to take action.
From the look of things, it’s very obvious your wife doesn’t love you. probably never did. You might also need to consider walking away if everything fails. People will suggest having a heart to heart with your wife; it’s pointless. You don’t ask or beg for love and respect; you earn it or take it by force.

Bigbayour:


When we were courting was a different ball game. She respect, sensible and at least give me sex when I want it

You married a wicked woman. Gosh I’m angry I swear. She hoodwinked you into marriage and is now showing her true colors. I say you surprise her. I wish I could give you just a bit of myself. She go come Dey beg you I swear to God.

DukeNija:


You don buy market. You still love her so much? Loool.
Your wife is in charge of your home, and your life. She runs it as she deems fit and you can’t do anything about it. 3months without sex? Are you sure you are not under a spell?
No man or woman deserves to be treated this way and not one who provides for his family. You need to take charge of your home. Take control and demand the respect and loyalty you deserve. Shout down, burn down, break down, tear down and destroy whatever stands in the way.
Your wife needs a small dose of your inner demon to bring her back to factory settings. It’s not too late to regain control.
If you have been a good and faithful husband, then you have a right to raise hell. It’s obvious you are a softie, women like this prey on softies. If you want to live long, you need to take action.
From the look of things, it’s very obvious your wife doesn’t love you. probably never did. You might also need to consider walking away if everything fails. People will suggest having a heart to heart with your wife; it’s pointless. You don’t ask or beg for love and respect; you earn it or take it by force.

Born2Breed:
A woman only behaves like this if 1)There is someone else in the picture. 2) You did something that has really offended her.

Sit her down and talk but start like this...Present her with a gift and then start the conversation with an apology..."pet name" ( I know I might have offended you,please forgive me...)

this one won’t work. It is clear she is no longer in love with him again

If You have checked yourself,asked her and She said nothing,prayed and watched warroom and nothing happened.

Oga ,bone too.When She brings that list,bone.When She needs money,bone.Let everybody bone.

If She sees You are not looking at her face and She isnot possessed,She will mend her home.Some of we women can be Very Stupid and Easily misled by friends Or what we see in the world/tv.


What is wrong with everybody these days

Born2Breed:
A woman only behaves like this if 1)There is someone else in the picture. 2) You did something that has really offended her.

Sit her down and talk but start like this...Present her with a gift and then start the conversation with an apology..."pet name" ( I know I might have offended you,please forgive me...)

Lmao. He should present a DISRESPECTFUL woman he is housing and feeding with gifts. All because he is deprived of a stale fishy vag

This one strong oooo

Oga from now don't attend to her list,
cut of all attentions to her.

LadySarah:
If You have checked yourself,asked her and She said nothing,prayed and watched warroom and nothing happened.

Oga ,bone too.When She brings that list,bone.When She needs money,bone.Let everybody bone.

If She sees You are not looking at her face and She isnot possessed,She will mend her home.Some of we women can be Very Stupid and Easily misled by friends Or what we see in the world/tv.


What is wrong with everybody these days

Babe your oil will not run dry. These days people are just misbehaving anyhow, both gender. So annoying

DukeNija:


You don buy market. You still love her so much? Loool.
Your wife is in charge of your home, and your life. She runs it as she deems fit and you can’t do anything about it. 3months without sex? Are you sure you are not under a spell?
No man or woman deserves to be treated this way and not one who provides for his family. You need to take charge of your home. Take control and demand the respect and loyalty you deserve. Shout down, burn down, break down, tear down and destroy whatever stands in the way.
Your wife needs a small dose of your inner demon to bring her back to factory settings. It’s not too late to regain control.
If you have been a good and faithful husband, then you have a right to raise hell. It’s obvious you are a softie, women like this prey on softies. If you want to live long, you need to take action.
From the look of things, it’s very obvious your wife doesn’t love you. probably never did. You might also need to consider walking away if everything fails. People will suggest having a heart to heart with your wife; it’s pointless. You don’t ask or beg for love and respect; you earn it or take it by force.

Salute

stupidity:
It’s official. I nor go marry again.



Na to find woman give belle make she gimme pikin.

As life hard reach for Nigeria, I can’t use my money to marry a woman to make it harder.


OP is dealing with the hard life outside(Nigeria) and inside(wife)

Sir, Relationship is a very difficult thing to nurture and maintain.. The maintainability is what makes the whole thing awesome for those who were brave enough to be on it.. (mind u, I'm not talking about boyfriend and girlfriend relationship) Just talking about marriage and partners...

Let us look at the key points/ issues that u raised..

She nags... Hmm!!! That basically sounds to me like every female that I know.. But in the mist of that nagging, try and listen. U might find out what annoys her the most..Something that u may have been doing deliberately/not so deliberate.. maybe u can put a stop to it.. A lot of us gentlemen were not gifted with the spirit of patience to listen.. I for one got selective hearing skills... I take the ones I like and tune the rest off..so I guess most of us went to the restrooms when God was dishing out listening skills and being patience while we were at the baby factory wherever that was.
SO TRY AND LISTEN MORE my man and u might figure something that was missing out.. except maybe if she was a habitual nagging lady..

Disrespect.. What's that all about? I wish you could have said more on this.. No one would like a military commander at home.. U guys were supposed to have dated for at least one year to know if you were compatible in that area.. Because what I see as disrespect might not be to another. .. eg I remembered when in those days when someone greets and u ask how are u? It was seen as being disrespectful..

if she refused to wash your clothes claiming to be tired, could that be seen as being disrespectful? If she got everything in the kitchen to cook and claimed to be having headache, but was watching all the movies on TV,.. was that classified as disrespectful... Some might see all these as being rude, Some might see it as laziness, some might see it as a subtle way to ask for a house help..whichever way it was, Your courtship should help in this situation assuming you were observing. there's no way u would have missed some of those 'symptoms'..

Poor sex life... I think u should ask her if she has a problem in that department.. Start by saying that you will book an appointment tomorrow for both of you to see a doctor. (That statement always wake every lady up.). Tell her u have noticed she got a low sexxx drive.. That u have spoken to a Dr who might fix that.. This might cause a lot of denial and argument.. she might not want to go but it will be a wake up call for her if she was doing it deliberately...

if u are not comfortable with your marriage.. Bring all the tools.. Nail, hammer, plyer, screw, screwdriver, nuts etc and fix it the best way that you can.. if it isn't salvageable, then do what others has been doing..

I usually don't give advice to married people since yours truly isn't married. But because you mentioned you love your wife I will give pointers.

Take your time to read this book; 5 Love Language by Gary Chapman.

From my observation, most women change after getting married because it is only then they begin to feel the weight of being the primary care giver of children and take the bulk of unpaid domestic work.


Money isn't everything. Money doesn't also mean much to certain people.