miss00000:
We met in school during my pre-degree and dated for 7 years before he proposed to me. Before the proposal, both our parents had been pestering us to get married and start having children.

We started trying 6months prior, and 6 months after proposing I got pregnant. Few months later we did our introduction and got married (registry) march this year.

About two years ago, he met a lady where he was supplying his goods. According to him, the lady has been doing everything in her power to push his business. Every time I suspect there was more to their friendship, he always assured me there was nothing, that she's just a friend. sometimes he would even travel with her to Abuja to sell his goods which I had to allow since it was helping his business.

8 months into my pregnancy I noticed a drastic change like coming home very late, he hardly eats at home, he barely talks to memos he's always on his phone. I knew something was wrong and every time I talk to him, he always assured me that everything was fine.

After the delivery and naming of my baby I expected things to go back to the way it was, but it became worse. he changes his phone password almost everyday and still hides his phones from me.

One day I cried and begged him to tell me what was going on, after hours of begging, the first question he asked me was "where was it written in the bible that marriage has to be between one man and one woman and not with different women", "why can't a man marry two or more wives if he has the resources to take care of them equally"(the lady is a muslim btw).

He confessed that he has been dating this lady for over two years and has no plan of leaving her, and theres a possibility he's going to marry her. I'm just 26yo with a one month old baby, I didn't sign up for this.

While growing up, my mum has always warned us against polygamy. although he's promised to be there for me and still wants our marriage to continue, but the thought of my husband being with someone else is killing me. I've tried to reason with him several times but I end up hurting even more. I've been praying but still no change. He's been trying to compensate with gifts and money but thats not what I want. he doesn't want me to tell anyone and I feel reporting him to his family will even worsen the case. We've always settled our issues ourselves without involving anyone. I've tried everything I can just to take my mind off it. I need someone to talk to, prolly a friend or a counsellor. I've been crying for days now, I've not been eating well and I have to breastfeed my child. I never knew my life would be this complicated. I don't know why he got married to me if he already had this in mind. I hate my life right now.

zeb04:
You are still 26, in the prime of your life. Wait until you are 40 with 3 more mouths to feed.

One day you wake up and realize you have given the best years of your life to an arrogant,unrepentant cheat.

You better leave. You are not even dead yet and someone else is already by the door.

But you can stay, have low self esteem and kill yourself with hypertension. Your reward is in heaven.

Whoeppme:
Go find his bank account, empty it then move on...if you can't empty the account yourself, Gboys full ground. Na only percentage we go collect... Waiting for your message.

No mind the dick head husband of yours. He is just a small boy. Hand never touch am e go behave...

uuzba:

I really pity the OP
You dated the guy for 6years
And in all that time, you didn't see his character?
When OP said when got pregnant BEFORE wedding, I knew something was wrong with both OP and husband
WAIT AND MARRY FIRST, you will not hear.
The man MAN CANNOT CONTROL his sexual urge, that is why he got you pregnant out of wedlock.
Now you've married, you thought it is over?
Shey you are seeing now that it isn't over?
He is trying to justify his uncontrollable sexual desire by quoting Bible.

You guys are so holy, why didn't you marry in church?

Aunty, this is your problem. You lied to yourself. You have to face whatever shit you get until your husband has a change of heart.

Sit down with him and tell him both of you did a bad thing from the start.
Confess, repent and start again

zeb04:
You are still 26, in the prime of your life. Wait until you are 40 with 3 more mouths to feed.

One day you wake up and realize you have given the best years of your life to an arrogant,unrepentant cheat.

You better leave. You are not even dead yet and someone else is already by the door.

But you can stay, have low self esteem and kill yourself with hypertension. Your reward is in heaven.

miss00000:
We met in school during my pre-degree and dated for 7 years before he proposed to me. Before the proposal, both our parents had been pestering us to get married and start having children.

We started trying 6months prior, and 6 months after proposing I got pregnant. Few months later we did our introduction and got married (registry) march this year.

About two years ago, he met a lady where he was supplying his goods. According to him, the lady has been doing everything in her power to push his business. Every time I suspect there was more to their friendship, he always assured me there was nothing, that she's just a friend. sometimes he would even travel with her to Abuja to sell his goods which I had to allow since it was helping his business.

8 months into my pregnancy I noticed a drastic change like coming home very late, he hardly eats at home, he barely talks to memos he's always on his phone. I knew something was wrong and every time I talk to him, he always assured me that everything was fine.

After the delivery and naming of my baby I expected things to go back to the way it was, but it became worse. he changes his phone password almost everyday and still hides his phones from me.

One day I cried and begged him to tell me what was going on, after hours of begging, the first question he asked me was "where was it written in the bible that marriage has to be between one man and one woman and not with different women", "why can't a man marry two or more wives if he has the resources to take care of them equally"(the lady is a muslim btw).

He confessed that he has been dating this lady for over two years and has no plan of leaving her, and theres a possibility he's going to marry her. I'm just 26yo with a one month old baby, I didn't sign up for this.

While growing up, my mum has always warned us against polygamy. although he's promised to be there for me and still wants our marriage to continue, but the thought of my husband being with someone else is killing me. I've tried to reason with him several times but I end up hurting even more. I've been praying but still no change. He's been trying to compensate with gifts and money but thats not what I want. he doesn't want me to tell anyone and I feel reporting him to his family will even worsen the case. We've always settled our issues ourselves without involving anyone. I've tried everything I can just to take my mind off it. I need someone to talk to, prolly a friend or a counsellor. I've been crying for days now, I've not been eating well and I have to breastfeed my child. I never knew my life would be this complicated. I don't know why he got married to me if he already had this in mind. I hate my life right now.

majamajic:
hmmm

madridguy:
Your husband is the type that make woman to be looking for remote control all over places. Just a year marriage he's already talking about second wife.
I will suggest you discuss the issue with your parent for quick intervention.

davnery123:
Madam beer it with time God will touch his heart he will change for good they is no perfect marriage every body has his or her own ups and down so take heart and be strong

zeb04:
You are still 26, in the prime of your life. Wait until you are 40 with 3 more mouths to feed.

One day you wake up and realize you have given the best years of your life to an arrogant,unrepentant cheat.

You better leave. You are not even dead yet and someone else is already by the door.

But you can stay, have low self esteem and kill yourself with hypertension. Your reward is in heaven.

bekpo:
Since ur marriage was registry, u r d wife no other. He can't marry a second wife d law doesn't allow for that. Just make sure d marriage certificate is safe with u. If he tries or attempt to go for a second wife, first get ur family to b informed. If he doesn't rescind d decision, get a lawyer to write him and remind him of d implications of running fail of d marriage Act. He should let him know that bigamy is a serious criminal offence that will land him in prison and tarnish his future.

donifez:
After reading the other post where the man complained of his wife cheating on him and now reading this, I can only say, most of us are HYPOCRITES.

cococandy:
You surprised?

Richy4:
Reading some of the heart breaking stories here on Nairaland sometimes makes me imagine/ wonder what the Reverend Fathers must have been hearing during confessions..

I can't just imagine how a man will look into his wife's eyes and say that he won't let got of the other woman.. That is the highest disrespect that...I'm speechless..

OP please tell me that you are not jobless.. because I can't see what will make a talented, young, beautiful 26yr old daughter of the land to remain in that house and swallow garnished Sh!t.. If he can't let go of her you should have shown some class and withdraw honourably..

Some times I blame parents for interfering and putting unnecessary pressure on their kids to get married.. it's not compulsory that every relationship must end in marriage..

Take your baby, Go to your parent's home and cool off temporarily...While you were there, Think if it was possible for you and your baby's to have a good life and future without him in the picture.. this is because He has made up his mind to have a second wife, The other woman has agreed to be in his life... So now the decision is yours to make if u want to be be the first wife or separate from that bull$h!t

If you were my sister, I would seriously advise that you don't allow your parent to reconcile this matter.. Let him finish what he has started.. because if they forced him to leave the other woman, his business might suffer..and his anger would be on u.. if you asked for an upkeep money... He will angrily tell u he doesn't have... He might be bold to tell you that the person helping him on his business is no longer there, where do u expect him to get money.. That I believe will hurt u..

If u are not working, dust your certificate and Start submitting CVs. At least within 5months u might get something... You rent a little granny flat and settle with your son.. suggesting that you go to your parents house was just for u to think.. not for u to bash him in any way... and it's not for intervention..

missjo:
If I had to guess,I'd say you are mostly dependent on that filth of a husband for your financial sustenance.

Khemhyte:
Another one here. Your marriage is too early to experience this now. And to think baby creates more bonding between husband and wife instead he is creating a drift inorder to embrace another Eve in such a recent period.

He is solely yours, don't be intimidated by his words, your actions will either make him proceed or stay put.
Since he has stylishly made his intention known to you, have a deep talk with him first, why he want to do so, if he needs your support in his business...put cry cry and weakness aside; have heart to heart talk with him. I think him being close to that lady is the fire here with a burning effect on you without smelling the smoke in time.

Inform your people and his parent aswell, don't do solo now biko. If your relationship with his parent is a good one then you are on a winning side and you will come out victorious.
And don't forget that prayer is the Master Key.
Snap into Action Madam!