Khemhyte:
Another one here. Your marriage is too early to experience this now. And to think baby creates more bonding between husband and wife instead he is creating a drift inorder to embrace another Eve in such a recent period.

He is solely yours, don't be intimidated by his words, your actions will either make him proceed or stay put.
Since he has stylishly made his intention known to you, have a deep talk with him first, why he want to do so, if he needs your support in his business...put cry cry and weakness aside; have heart to heart talk with him. I think him being close to that lady is the fire here with a burning effect on you without smelling the smoke in time.

Inform your people and his parent aswell, don't do solo now biko. If your relationship with his parent is a good one then you are on a winning side and you will come out victorious.
And don't forget that prayer is the Master Key.
Snap into Action Madam!

Why don't you pray her out of this

He couldn't control his sexual urges (you too), so he got you pregnant. He still can't, so he's knacking another lady. A leopard can not change its spots. I don't have any advice for you. Whatever you do, you will bear the consequences

Excellent advice. I thought I was the only one thinking this way. This is a clear case someone trying to marry a second wife, not cheating.

OP forget these NL feminists and chronic Mamachelors. Most of them don't have husbands. Don't abandon your marriage. Work things out with the help of a trusted Counselor. He might just abandon the idea of a second wife, who knows

Baselm:
Why would any sane person advise her to leave her matrimonial home, because the husband is emotionally attached to another lady?? All these NL oloshos forming feminist advice.
I will advise you to stay in your place and continue with whatever you have going on for you, channel your love to your child and get a job or face your business and continue to pray.
Focus more on your life than the prayers, it should be a side hustle.
If you must, confide in your pastor and parents to pray with you and probably counsel him.
Leave when your life is being threatened, otherwise don't leave, do the things that make you happy, he will come to his senses soon.

If you leave
1) you abandoned your home for someone else to take over. you have made them winners
2) you will deprive your child of the love of both parents.
3) as much as polygamy scares you, have you given having different baby Daddys a thought? or have you given being Single for a large part of your life a thought?

STAY FOR AS LONG AS YOU ARE SAFE AND FOCUS ON PERSONAL IMPROVEMENT, YOUR CHILD AND EVERYTHING THAT MAKES YOU HAPPY

1StopRudeness:


Oyindidi, I’m not about to get into gender equality matters with you, because men and women are not the same but this is hard for people like u to comprehend because u see the topic too superficially

I can’t give a man such advice becos this is Nigeria, women don’t marry two husbands. There’s no one size fit all advice....The man will come around, and if he doesn’t life goes on, what’s the big deal... the babe needs to keep her sanity and happiness intact.... and if out to go start over with another man will make her happy she can go ahead


Where is lalasticlala seff

I don't think it would be easy for her to find another husband as a single mom,

I will advice you young woman of 26years Old that there is a reason for a season,Don't think too much about it God Almighty is in Control, Let your husband decide don't go for a divorce its spoils record of a Married Woman.

Dddd

mikeuz:
And you came to Nairaland for advice. My dear wrong place.wrong move. If you are real, please seek advice somewhere else. Many of the people here don’t have boyfriend or girlfriend, not talking of wife or husband, or are even fathers or mothers. Many are social media kids, many are frustrated. Please seek for advice from respectable persons you know.

You've heard it all. Many will advice you on what they have little or no experience about. Problem in marriage comes in phases as the marriage progresses, who told you the only problem you face anything n marriage is a cheating husband? I know some marriages(Christian home) where the wife would have even pray the husband cheats than the treatment she's getting. All these advice of divorcing him might bit really be the best remember every marriage has its own challenges

OmoAlata1:
I don't understand why women cheapen themselves like this all because you want to maintain Mrs status and you don't want society to ridicule you. That man has no respect for you at all, and he is doing it because he knows you are not going anywhere. He is very confident he will get his cake and eat it. You think if the case was reversed, he would still be around crying and begging for you to love him.

Please learn to love and fall in love with yourself. Value yourself and instill a lot of self worth in your life. No man is worth dying for, if you die today, he will still enjoy himself.

Get a job, make money and put yourself in a financially stable place. Life doesn't end if a man is not in your life.

Your moniker fits you very well. It is people like you who form adviser outside and endure worse in the closet.

@ miss00000 , pls dont listen to those saying you should leave your husband. Alot of them are still looking for the ideal husband at 35+
Leaving him should only be a last resort. Pls involve your parents and his. May the good lord restore your home.

Strong indicators....the woman may be pregnant. If he showered u gifts and money...stay put. Ho yo your parents and discuss this with them esp your dad. I'm sure hes not igbo so the child can be taken away ....

Divorce the marriage. You are young for this sort of shit. You will meet dm1 else.
.

PS: he loves the other lady more than you

I really don't know what is wrong with all these cheaters. My dear take heart

Pls don’t leave your marriage, 95 percent of men cheat, you got know yours because he’s too poor to hide it from you. This marriage you re into is not different from others, if you doubt me kindly ask a number of truthful friends u have and see their reply .. Your man isn’t battering you, just pray and add more effort to please him whenever he’s home . He will someday be on his kneel to ask for forgiveness.
Those asking you to leave are immature never told you what single mothers passed through, dont just try it hence he’s not Beating you . And please stop going to his phone. You are inviting problems to yourself by doing that, what does it benefit you to find something to make you sad ??
I wish we are close so I can load you with ideas n comfort in how to succeed in your marriage . Good luck.. NEVER YOU LEAVE YOUR MAN FOR ANY WOMAN...

Polygamy is not a small thing o, having to share everything with another woman, if he's a christain and having this kind of thoughts, then its likely she's already pregnant for him, he's planning to change religion etc. I don't think you'll enjoy the marriage so well again, considering that this is just happening one year into marriage, shows he does not have respect or regards for you.

You should do what you need to become independent, since you have the bargaining chip here, ask him to help you set up a good business of your own choice first , then register the business as yours, before you run out of that marriage, peace of mind and sanity is key

Virusnation:
Pls don’t leave your marriage, 95 percent of men cheat, you got know yours because he’s too poor to hide it from you. This marriage you re into is not different from others, if you doubt me kindly ask a number of truthful friends u have and see their reply .. Your man isn’t battering you, just pray and add more effort to please him whenever he’s home . He will someday be on his kneel to ask for forgiveness.
Those asking you to leave are immature never told you what single mothers passed through, dont just try it hence he’s not Beating you . And please stop going to his phone. You are inviting problems to yourself by doing that, what does it benefit you to find something to make you sad ??
I wish we are close so I can load you with ideas n comfort in how to succeed in your marriage . Good luck.. NEVER YOU LEAVE YOUR MAN FOR ANY WOMAN...

See nonsense, if she's your sister, I hope you would offer this same advise.. Man and marriage is not a price, and she never go above your peace of mind and sanity. Can you stay with a wife who is openly cheating on you, is it until he infects her with HIV or worse?

I always tell people. Just because a man is not talking polygamy today when dating doesn't mean he won't years down the line.

A partner not cheating now can cheat tomorrow.

But when I say it here, some people say I am a polygamy apologist. Even though three generations of my family have been monogamous.

I just state reality.

Always just brace yourself for anything.

AuroraB:
Why don't you pray her out of this

Abi o
Any small thing, instead of using the brain that God has provided us we will be shouting at God to help us fix the mess we created.



www.nairaland.com/attachments/4160988_image_jpeg_jpeg6f95b5e7a24ad4fc0808d6698fd37362

Baselm:
Why would any sane person advise her to leave her matrimonial home, because the husband is emotionally attached to another lady?? All these NL oloshos forming feminist advice.
I will advise you to stay in your place and continue with whatever you have going on for you, channel your love to your child and get a job or face your business and continue to pray.
Focus more on your life than the prayers, it should be a side hustle.
If you must, confide in your pastor and parents to pray with you and probably counsel him.
Leave when your life is being threatened, otherwise don't leave, do the things that make you happy, he will come to his senses soon.

If you leave
1) you abandoned your home for someone else to take over. you have made them winners
2) you will deprive your child of the love of both parents.
3) as much as polygamy scares you, have you given having different baby Daddys a thought? or have you given being Single for a large part of your life a thought?

STAY FOR AS LONG AS YOU ARE SAFE AND FOCUS ON PERSONAL IMPROVEMENT, YOUR CHILD AND EVERYTHING THAT MAKES YOU HAPPY

Excellent comment.
Thanks.

jamessonaike:
I will advice you young woman of 26years Old that there is a reason for a season, Don't think too much about it God Almighty is in Control,
Let your husband decide don't go for a divorce its spoils record of a Married Woman.

www.nairaland.com/attachments/4138528_fbimg1471362711749_jpeg32428b294a57b4debde63e3fd7301227

miss00000:
He confessed that he has been dating this lady for over two years and has no plan of leaving her, and theres a possibility he's going to marry her. I'm just 26yo with a one month old baby, I didn't sign up for this.

While growing up, my mum has always warned us against polygamy. although he's promised to be there for me and still wants our marriage to continue, but the thought of my husband being with someone else is killing me. I've tried to reason with him several times but I end up hurting even more. I've been praying but still no change. He's been trying to compensate with gifts and money but thats not what I want. he doesn't want me to tell anyone and I feel reporting him to his family will even worsen the case. We've always settled our issues ourselves without involving anyone. I've tried everything I can just to take my mind off it. I need someone to talk to, prolly a friend or a counsellor. I've been crying for days now, I've not been eating well and I have to breastfeed my child. I never knew my life would be this complicated. I don't know why he got married to me if he already had this in mind. I hate my life right now.

You should urgently seek a psychotherapist to gather and clear your thoughts properly to avoid any serious stress that could be grievous for you and your baby.
Cheers and stay strong.

alexola20:
To be honest,9ja women dey suffer oo.
That's why many of them are witches and cheat like their men.
And few of them that got a very good man and they still misbehave.

Good post spoiled by the bold sentence.
Why

Do not carry this burden alone. It is not your fault that he’s cheating. Always remind yourself of this!

He should not be aided to conceal his atrocities lest you get the major share of blame.

You cannot keep quiet!!! After all you didn’t cause this.

Talk to your parents. They should engage his parents and head of family too and have him confronted in good time. And yes he needs to be confronted by the stakeholders who must now be involved in brokering peace and the way forward.

He needs to be made dance to the music that he is playing, after all, that’s exactly what would have happened, if he caught you cheating or even planning to have another marriage side by side with him.

This is for your sanity and to get necessary help and support. Strive to be independent financially. Join a women group in church, and get counseling and support. Anything and everything that helps you to grow and become more self reliant is welcome.

You are going to need all the support and diversion of your energy away from that man towards other things that give you joy. Be prepared to move out at the slightest sign of hostilities from him. You need to be around people who love you.

Focus on your baby and be very determined to stay not just alive but very healthy for your baby.

Keep praying fervently as other things may be involved too.

May God strengthen you.

Nawaooo. This women called naija women are really suffering in the name of marriage. Chai , all u people advising her to stay and pray, do u ever know what is called emotional trauma. Jess, putting someone who loved u into some emotional stress which is capable of driving her to commit suicide or do something terrible to herself. This is why I love and adore America. Which nonsense man will try such stupidity. Mtchewww, cultural foolishness . OP I won't even advise u because i do not know what to say. Everyone here has been advising u to pray, keep praying and enduring. Na their mentality

If no be Yoruba, who e go be?

Your husband probably had doubts 2 years ago when he met this lady.

However, everyone pressured you guys to tie the knot and now nobody is happy.

Are you guys legally, city, married. If so, see a lawyer and inquire as to how you can take him to the cleaners.

Forget all these idiots telling you to ensure or just pack out.

Courage belle!

akinade28:
Life is full of ups and downs
Please get yourself together for the sake of your baby and your family. Because if you fall sick or die, he will still go about sleeping around, making your child motherless and throwing your parents and loved ones into mourning. Don't let your parents investment into your life come to a waste because of a man.
You can force a guy to be loyal or faithful to you, you can only try your best to be a good wife.
Please leave the marriage, if you can no longer endure it or it is affecting you psychologically.
Your child deserve the best of you.
Don't stay alone, you will just get depressed. Surround yourself with people you can trust and can make you laugh
Please focus on your goals and how to make your life and that of child better
I know it's not going to be easy, but I pray God strengthens you, and you will look back and smile at the end

In all ramifications, all I can say is that "sense is really in your head".You must be beauty with brains,can we be f***nds

Raysleek:
Some men can be so stupid I don't know why. Dropping a diamond to pick stones.

How do you know she's a diamond sir? Don't judge too quick if you haven't heard from both sides.

There are two options here which are mutually exclusive.
(1)Stay married to your husband as he marries more wives if he wants to continue marriage with you if you can sustain the pressure.
(2)Since you cannot sustain the pressure of your husband having another wife,
divorce him and start a new life.
At 26,its too early to have emotional turbulence in married life.

Op the truth is that majority of men are just hopelessly selfish and self centered. Nature didn't design men to be as compassionate and loving as women because men don't need those traits to bear and care for offspring unlike women.


Remove your mind from that insensitive man, forget the gifts he is giving you he will abandon you for that woman if he marries her, with the way he boldly told you he is dating her and wants to marry her less than two years into marriage you will know that he has a lot of love for her. If you have the money and emotional strength then leave him, divorce him.
If you can't divorce him for whatever reason known to you then take your mind off him, try and kill off any feelings you have for him. See him as just your baby daddy, you can't be showing love to an insensitive bastard that is telling you about another woman so soon after you put to bed. Don't be rude to him, just withdraw and become cold and mechanical. And please get a good and stable source of income as soon as you can, it might not be easy since you have a small baby but you can stay with your parents so they can help you with it while you get a job or start a business.

Why are men such heartless bastards? I blame religions for this nonsense, especially Islam and Christianity. When it comes to sacrificing and working hard to make their family comfortable as so called leaders you will never see anything tangible from them. When its time to bark orders around and be naturally polygamous because society overlooks their wickedness that's when you see then active like rabbits jumping up and down to defend themselve and justify bad behaviour.

Get a DSTV remote. Very cheap and affordable

Logobenz3:
if you are pretty,educated and have a job,come to me.
I have money too,educated,handsome,from a good family and smart

Have sense pls,at least for the sake of your unborn kids

He asked you not to inform your family or his and you kept it to yourself, meanwhile you are suffering emotionally. Please that marriage is too young. Go to your parents and talk to them. They should in turn talk to his family, where the both families can discuss with him to know his problem. If after the meeting nothing changes, my sister please leave that marriage. Reach an agreement with him on the welfare of his child and move on with your life before you'll die young. [color=#000000][/color]

Cook well spiced indomie for the bastard. Add plenty sniper. He should marry another over his dead body.