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Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by healthserve(m): 8:08am On Sep 14, 2019 |
Richy4: The summary of everything is he destroyed her ego, esteem, confidence and intact he built the marriage on deceit. The only way to get Op out of this is that he goes back to the basics, foundation and start rebuilding. As of now, the previous template was destroyed. Trust shattered, marriage picture completely done with too The way out is like you pointed revisiting the basics He has a lot of work to do first on her, before the marriage. Word damages, word can rebuild, albeit with time. He's gotta invest energy, words, moments and speak even foolishly how he loves her and wouldn't trade her for someone else, as of the moment her body maybe there, but the psychological effect has dealt a serious blow to her. She's damaged psychologically, and her actions, though mentioned by a few as passive aggressive is not hers, but the aftermath of the broken spirit. Her spirit is broken and needs to be attended to. Dude needs physical,spiritual, thereputic healing for his wife. I recommend he reports he gets both himself and his wife a counselor and then a spiritual aauthirity she won't take offense if he tables the matter to, to help the healing process. If she finds cause to regain her spark in the marriage, then She'll come out of the shock and better. Otherwise the woman in question is to shocked by the event to want to find pleasure and joy again in the relationship. And God help him she isn't planning something beneath the niceities. Dude got himself served big time. Dude has to start all over. The previous marriage ended with those words. 7 Likes |
Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by Acidosis(m): 8:21am On Sep 14, 2019 |
Women say similar thing to men everyday and we get over it. A woman will insult you today, tell you hurtful things but after a while, you get a yes. Some even go to the extreme by giving you a thousand reasons they won't date you. We have seen women who told us they can never date us in this life but turned out as wives (some as one night stand). Some women never thought they could date a short man but las las, they married short men. Your wife needs to come out of that euphoria and embrace the hard reality. Truth is we don't always get that flying specs we all had at infancy. Maturity and experience have played a major role on our choices. This is the message she needs to hear. Words spoken cannot be unsaid but a lot can be done to win her over. This is not a time to beg please. Begging at this point will drive her further away from you. Just tell her that while her type was never your choice years ago, meeting her changed your life and perception for good. Make her realize she made you the man you are today, and you wouldn't wish for any other. When you sink in this kind of message to her subconscious with all sense of seriousness and truth, her love for you authomatically doubles. 16 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by Nobody: 8:28am On Sep 14, 2019 |
healthserve: So the only issue I have with Zielle is that although she is intelligent, she needs to understand that she is human too and can also make mistakes. Thats exactly what I'd tell her if I met her in person.... One day I know I will 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by Nobody: 8:30am On Sep 14, 2019 |
Zielle:This is 2019 babe... the world is just one small playground. Imagine my colleagues at work are in another country and we meet and relate and have meetings every single day.... |
Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by franklingud(m): 8:34am On Sep 14, 2019 |
Na wa ooo! Me that is looking for who to marry, to pamper and settle down one day. While someone got married and is misbehaving. OP you should mind the way you talk next time. A man doesn't say everything he sees. Someone here said you should seek advice from someone she listens to and I say NO. Don't wash your dirty linen in public, I'd rather you start pampering her all over again. Every morning and every night make sure you tell her you love her, no matter what. Stop begging her OP Use kind words, love gestures, show her you still care for her. One day she will understand. 9 Likes |
Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by izzou(m): 8:35am On Sep 14, 2019 |
Acidosis: 9 Likes |
Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by UjuJoan2: 8:38am On Sep 14, 2019 |
healthserve: |
Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by BoboKush(m): 8:39am On Sep 14, 2019 |
Charles1888: You are not mature enough to marry ... Why u told ha to say evil words to u so that it Wil be even 4 Likes |
Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by Acidosis(m): 8:42am On Sep 14, 2019 |
BoboKush:That part shock me. Those are the kind of words we say in primary school 4 Likes |
Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by healthserve(m): 8:47am On Sep 14, 2019 |
calgaryFriend: She doesn't need to be told this. Not like I know her in person though, but there's a soulish side to the person I want to imagine that puts the intelligent part under control. That aside, are you planning a vacation to Cali? |
Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by healthserve(m): 8:48am On Sep 14, 2019 |
Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by xmanco42: 8:55am On Sep 14, 2019 |
My own little opinion . The truth is I will say u are just wasting your time begging her will not heal her pain. So if your wife start talking to you now you will be happy as if everything is alright? She may be quiet now, she will watch your clothes, clean the house even give you sex, (now am wondering how do you manage to have sex with your wife you know she is having a bad feeling towards you) she is doing this because now she is weak. But definitely she will definitely have her revenge. She is waiting for right energy and opportunities. Your wife Age is her insecurity and you are her strength and confidence, but now you are her weaknesses and she will never forget that. If she see another man who will give her that strength, she will definitely cheat on you not because she love him but because just want to get back at you or she will have revenge in other ways. The truth is this marriage shouldn't have take place. All what you said is nothing but the truth. You are human with emotions capable of mistakes and you must accept that and all those who love must accept that. WHAT HAS HAPPENED HAS HAPPENED. My own is call your wife and tell her softly and bluntly that all what you said are nothing but the truth, that she wasn’t type of girl what have in mind that you had seen a young beautiful lady you would have marry her. (yeah that will be harsh and will definitely hurt, after all she would done d same if had seen a rich handsome young man but will be sensitive to say it). Remember after saying this, you have destroyed every love she has for you, she will leave you . And make sure you express your love for love. after some time, she will come back on her own free will. This must have respect feelings and decisions. (and pardon my grammar ) 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by UjuJoan2: 8:57am On Sep 14, 2019 |
healthserve: Before nko . . . Abi na me elect Buhari? |
Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by healthserve(m): 8:58am On Sep 14, 2019 |
Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by UjuJoan2: 9:00am On Sep 14, 2019 |
healthserve: I don't even think his words came as a complete surprise to her. I bet he mish have been displaying this belief in his attitude, and she must have picked up on it. Rather than assuage her fears, he validated them by voicing the words out . . . Confirming her greatest fears. Coming back from that is going to take a lot more than begging and words. . . He needs to change who and what he is. Prove to her that he deserves her 5 Likes |
Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by UjuJoan2: 9:02am On Sep 14, 2019 |
Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by healthserve(m): 9:04am On Sep 14, 2019 |
UjuJoan2: Begging won't work. It isn't completely passive aggression. She's just flowing still paralyzed from the shock waves of the series of events and the scathing words Words to bind her broken spirit and heal her is what's needed for now. He has given himself work to do. The truth is we're all not infallible, but we shouldn't contest for the last words with our woman. This was the foundation of his woes. He's desire to come out victorious in a heated debate, he needs to learn the lessons first, when angry, don't speak forcefully. Walk away. 4 Likes |
Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by healthserve(m): 9:05am On Sep 14, 2019 |
UjuJoan2: Me. I just be dey observe you for a long time o. |
Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by UjuJoan2: 9:13am On Sep 14, 2019 |
healthserve: But it's not just words. He said it himself that he married her because he had something urgent to do and she was the only one available. She wasn't really his choice. Feelings like that have a way of coming across even without being translated to words. If they were just empty words spoken in the heat of anger, his wife may not have taken it to heart. But she's behaving that way because she knows they are his true feelings and belief. Not just empty words. Do you know the things he did while marrying her? Maybe rejecting some marital demands, refusing to travel to meet her relatives, acting like he's some kind of prize? Words are cheap, but actions says it all. She must have senses this his belief, his words only validated them. I truly don't know how someone can come back from all that. 12 Likes |
Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by Nobody: 9:14am On Sep 14, 2019 |
healthserve:That depends on Zielle |
Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by UjuJoan2: 9:15am On Sep 14, 2019 |
healthserve: Don't worry, I'm not 'that bad'. |
Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by healthserve(m): 9:20am On Sep 14, 2019 |
calgaryFriend: Damn. Dude I love your Zest BTW , thought you didn't want anything to do with ladies in the 30s ;DLMFAO Zielle, what say you to the gentleman's proposition? |
Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by healthserve(m): 9:22am On Sep 14, 2019 |
UjuJoan2: Chai Joan, must you paint a gloomy picture with words. I almost threw up after reading through the poignant words you scribbled together. I think lots of people have come up with brilliant ideas on getting our brother out of the tight corner, I feel the Op should speak at this juncture about what he'll do from what everyone has said here. |
Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by healthserve(m): 9:23am On Sep 14, 2019 |
Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by lereinter(m): 9:24am On Sep 14, 2019 |
omotola224: Women don't love unconditionally, don't generalise . There are so many stupid insatiable Nigeria women. 8 Likes |
Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by Richy4(m): 9:30am On Sep 14, 2019 |
healthserve: He was the one that said not so nice things to hurt the wife.. And he was now the one feeling really hurt and remorseful... Could it be that what The Mountain of Fire Church usually chant those days whenever I was crossing the street around their church could be effective.. Back to the sender!!! Back to the sender!!! Just wondering how she managed to send the negative energy back to OP 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by BoboKush(m): 9:31am On Sep 14, 2019 |
Acidosis: I just weak 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by Nobody: 9:31am On Sep 14, 2019 |
healthserve:Zielle is an exception, besides she doesn't look 30 years. If you saw her pix you'd think she was 25years or less sef. Very great smile on her also I must say. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by healthserve(m): 9:37am On Sep 14, 2019 |
Richy4: It issa bewilderment. I suggest he shows the thread to his wife. Than say anything. If she sees the energy behind his desire to reconcile,it may help her reconsider. |
Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by healthserve(m): 9:41am On Sep 14, 2019 |
calgaryFriend: Am I not shocked you can have such a strong desire to want to make a uturn. I wish She'll take your proposition serious. With comments like hers, I don't need a pic to know she'll have a pretty face. CalgaryFriend if she's not taken, she seems decent and knows her guns. Can you afford it I think she got both our attention tbh. I simply backed out though I desired to make the first move due to " skepticism ". How did you manage to get her pic guy? Don't tell me you have friends in Homeland security? I don't need pic for that. On that thread I recalled her sweet but strong words. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by Richy4(m): 9:46am On Sep 14, 2019 |
healthserve: That could be a good idea!! That's after she must have seen bunch of people that have insulted the husband on her behalf |
Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by healthserve(m): 9:48am On Sep 14, 2019 |
Richy4: Hes now operating from a plane of high energy and this way, I want to believe she'll scan thru the pages one by one absorb positive energy from other peoples comment and energy that the words and comments of others will infuse in her. I want to believe the infusion of multiple positive energies from everyone on this thread can JumpStart her heart and thoughts. I hope we're right about this |
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