Hello Nairalanders, greetings. My name is Christopher (pseudonym) from the Eastern part of the country, Imo State to be precise. I'm a man in his early 30's. I have an active account here but I had to sign-up for another account for this thread.
Please pardon my grammatical errors and blunders. MOD please help move to FP.

Few months back, I fell in love with a pretty lady with a beautiful soul. She is 28. Though we are running a long distance relationship but the current in the communication link can power Kanji Dam. Lol!! We can be on calls for hours since the very day I met her. There is a fair share of the feelings, affections, respect and regard for each other. It's not one-sided. Though we have been opportune to be together thrice since the past 10months we met. I have had plans to go about engagement and marriage arrangements this coming festive period though I haven't made this known to her.

She gives me joy, she gives me happiness, she prays for me, she blesses me. There is a part of me she unraveled that I never believed existed. Above all, she gives me peace of mind.

Fast forward to last month, I invited her to a family event. I introduced her to my family as my girlfriend. Instantly everyone fell in love with her. My mum was allover her and she was indeed up and doing. She didn't disappoint me. Not pretence, she has a good home training.

When she left same day after the event, my mum proclaimed her love for her. She said, "Olee ebe isi choota udi nwa nke a?" (Where did you find this kinda girl from?). This made me drop a tear of joy thereafter because I've always prayed for such from her any day I introduce a lady to her. This also happens to be my first time.

Fast forward again to 2weeks later, my dad requested I confirm her community and kindred properly because we happen to come from the same LGA. I didn't even know they have started making inquiries for me even before I asked them to. I confirmed from her and informed my dad. Only for them (my parents) to break the news to me days later that we can't marry from their kindred because they are regarded as Out-Casts (Osu-Cast System). Right now, I can't contend my heartbreak. I'm so devastated and confused.

This has been a long-term tradition that has been for centuries that I don't think it's in my capabilities to do away with it or do otherwise.

My problem now is how do I break the news to her for a breakup because we can't continue like this.

I have never ceased to love her less since the very day I learnt of this. In fact, she gives me reasons to love, cherish and adore her every single day. I still do that to the brim and don't have regrets. Quote me, her type is rare. I love this girl with every breath I take. I just cry myself to sleep every night after our long calls.

Please advise a brother because I'm in a deep state of dilemma.

I thought dis cast system thingy has been abolished?...

uzicuzy:
I thought dis cast system thingy has been abolished?...

It's quite unfortunate my community still takes cognizance of it.

Your belief rule your life. Except you just want to put an unprecedented end to the matrimony prologue.

Pls provide me with her phone # if she's truly interested in a serious n sincere relationship that can lead to marriage. I am Yoruba Osu matter no concern me, in fact God punish the system self.

Christopherrrr:

Sorry old tradition wanna deal a heavy blow to your happiness. You simply gotta let go unless you man enough to brave the consequences should you decide to go along with everything.

You both can choose to elope. Issa common something in India. If u can't, better cut off from her cos any kids she bears you will be termed Osu.

ratracerebel:
Your belief rule your life. Except you just want to put an unprecedented end to the matrimony prologue.

This has nothing to do with his belief though. Many forces will b against that union.

Hmmm...... don't be in a rush to break any news. Yes you alone can't break the system... but you can try to at least crack it by fighting back instead of just rolling over. You are 21st century generation.... do you or your mates support it? Some traditions just need to be dropped... this is one of them. Your parents are deep into it... you can't convince them. I guess they are Christians.... use the Bible to fight them...

He who findeth a wife findeth a good thing

Let them know you found a wife... and they agreed... were happy... so where does the Bible say you should rule her out? For your part.... show depression.... don't eat at home.... say you're not hungry. Don't involve in any conversations unless is about your heartbeat.... just be sitting and staring... and in a few days if no shifting.... then start with basic suicide talk... arrange phone convo with a friend..... let your parents overhear parts of the convo like .....what'sthe point of living if you can't be happy?....and later on.... don't worry...you don't understand... I can't continue like this... when I do what I am planning to do... you will understand.... but that will be too late.

No parent wants to lose their child to suicide... especially when they know they would be the ones responsible. That fear will make them really reconsider their position... and challenge the practice. Don't ever go down without putting up a fight....no fight no change.
After all.... you may get the blessings from your parents... period.... and it would have to be top secret.

It's just barbaric that even youths still hold on to this silly tradition but going by the igbo youths we have here on nairaland, I mean the ipob branch. That tradition is here to stay, cos dem be zombie.

I'm Anambra and I don't give a damn about any osu bullshit. Let me see a girl I like first, heavens can fall for all I care. If any Umunna person wants to stop the wedding because my girl is an outcast, let him board United Airlines and come over here. Nonsense

Ps: If that girl is as good as you claim especially the part of giving one peace of mind, give me her contact let me take her straight to momma.
Osu my black ass.

J111333:
I'm Anambra and I don't give a damn about any osu bullshit. Let me see a girl I like first, heavens can fall for all I care. If any Umunna person wants to stop the wedding because my girl is an outcast, let him board United Airlines and come over here. Nonsense

Ps: If that girl is as good as you claim especially the part of giving one peace of mind, give me her contact let me take her straight to momma.
Osu my black ass.

if you are looking for someone that will give you peace of mind. come, let me show you one. her only fault, she is over 6ft tall. but nice shape humble and very pretty too.

Y'all should arrange a court wedding, when dey're ready for you, you'll do the traditional thing...shey dem set dem mad ni....Bros proceed.

If you break up because of OSU caste or whatever, you should flog yourself.

Don't be deceived please.

Zikora1000:
if you are looking for someone that will give you peace of mind. come, let me show you one. her only fault, she is over 6ft tall. but nice shape humble and very pretty too.

I like this. My joy is to see all women of goodwill married off. But she has to understand that marriage is not Mathematics. Many times she will wish she's not married, but with patience, things will fall back in place.

AwkaetitiBabe:
Sorry old tradition wanna deal a heavy blow to your happiness. You simply gotta let go unless you man enough to brave the consequences should you decide to go along with everything.

You both can choose to elope. Issa common something in India. If u can't, better cut off from her cos any kids she bears you will be termed Osu.

Braving up to bear the consequences isn't just what's involved rather it goes to the extent of affecting my entire household. No one is really gonna follow you go marry the girl in question. Secondly, we are from the same LGA so her origin won't be far fetched..

Issues like these are really dicey, you can either damn the consequences and follow through or just roll over. What are the repercussions in marrying an osu?

cooooooks:
If you break up because of OSU caste or whatever, you should flog yourself.

Don't be deceived please.

Bro, no one is deceiving me. I know of this tradition right from the day I was born till now. It's just so unfortunate I happen to be a victim of it. I know of a family in my community too that their father made the mistake from a far distance community with more than 20-25yrs gone before it was discovered. Him and his entire household was sidelined from all other family dealings to the extent it affected his daughters getting married to people around. They took succor from outside the state as the case was then. It's just the inter-marrying that's the case but can be involved in every other dealings.

Apination:
Issues like these are really dicey, you can either damn the consequences and follow through or just roll over. What are the repercussions in marrying an osu?

The only known repercussion is the idea you're alone and can't be involved in any family dealings or association. They can't call you their own and remember no one is an island. Damning the consequences is a very brutal one as the case may be. They're quite magnitudinous. It's quite fair if it was a mistake than being fully aware and venturing into it. It's indeed a dicey one!!

Christopherrrr:


Braving up to bear the consequences isn't just what's involved rather it goes to the extent of affecting my entire household. No one is really gonna follow you go marry the girl in question. Secondly, we are from the same LGA so her origin won't be far fetched..

Simply tell her the reasons and go ur way. You'll definitely find someone else. Might be as good as this one but then, sometimes life ain't fair.

Upworkwriter007:
Y'all should arrange a court wedding, when dey're ready for you, you'll do the traditional thing...shey dem set dem mad ni....Bros proceed.

You are right. Court is the best. Reason I love western individualistic lifestyle.

Upworkwriter007:
Y'all should arrange a court wedding, when dey're ready for you, you'll do the traditional thing...shey dem set dem mad ni....Bros proceed.

The idea of coming from the same LGA makes it more vulnerable for elders to go make inquiries themselves. Nothing is gonna stop them from doing that. It's called "Iju ajuju" (Asking Questions) in my community. Which they'll in turn send out people to go do the needful with or without my parent's consent. I'm really in the middle of the devil and deep blue sea.

Christopherrrr:


It's quite unfortunate my community still takes cognizance of it.

There is something wrong with you if you break up with her for some ancient, satanic tradition that calls certain people outcast. You have found love not all people can say the same. It doesnt happen over and over, okay. Be a f.ucking me. mess that bias custom and get married. Damn the consequences.
Later, when you dump her, dont come and complain that your current gf is milking you dry. Or that shes this or that.

AwkaetitiBabe:
You are right. Court is the best. Reason I love western individualistic lifestyle.

No matter how to attach the Western individualistic lifestyle, it must definitely come down to the traditional formalities. Like one Igbo proverb says, "Ofu onye anaghi alu nwanyi" (One person doesn't go to ask for a girl's hand in marriage). Even the girl's family must definitely ask questions about my people. The funniest thing about this whole issue is that you don't DARE mention such stigmatization to their hearing. They are liable to fight, destroy, kill and maim because of it. This is an issue I need not throw caution to the wind.

Blackivy29:
There is something wrong with you if you break up with her for some ancient, satanic tradition that calls certain people outcast. You have found love not all people can say the same. It doesnt happen over and over, okay. Be a f.ucking me. mess that bias custom and get married. Damn the consequences.
Later, when you dump her, dont come and complain that your current gf is milking you dry. Or that shes this or that.

Nothing is absolutely wrong with me. Yes I have found love but the consequences are way far beyond me. It's not only gonna affect me alone but every other being from my father's loins. My parents will have a fair share of the consequences same is applicable to my siblings and every other person that involves themselves in a marital way with them. Honestly, I don't wish this for my worst enemy. Damning the consequences is easier said than done in this part of the world. To bad we ain't in the Western world where there is individualistic lifestyle.

Christopherrrr:


The idea of coming from the same LGA makes it more vulnerable for elders to go make inquiries themselves. Nothing is gonna stop them from doing that. It's called "Iju ajuju" (Asking Questions) in my community. Which they'll in turn send out people to go do the needful with or without my parent's consent. I'm really in the middle of the devil and deep blue sea.

When you're in the middle of the devil and the deep blue see, make a devilish decision.... If u go ahead and marry the lady, worse case scenario they will scream for 2 years , after that you're good. ....the decisions are in ur hand....only u and ur family understands how to proceed.....but in case u decide to damn the consequence, make sure u succeed immensely in life, cose success has many family members.

J111333:
I'm Anambra and I don't give a damn about any osu bullshit. Let me see a girl I like first, heavens can fall for all I care. If any Umunna person wants to stop the wedding because my girl is an outcast, let him board United Airlines and come over here. Nonsense

Ps: If that girl is as good as you claim especially the part of giving one peace of mind, give me her contact let me take her straight to momma.
Osu my black ass.

Since you are Igbo and Anambra to be precise, Bro I'll advice now never to throw caution in the air regarding issues like. You can only do away with it if your community doesn't regards such belief. Aside that, even if you are beyond this planet with your wife, your family down here will be victimized. Please endeavour to ask questions when the time comes. #MyAdvice.

Jombom:
Pls provide me with her phone # if she's truly interested in a serious n sincere relationship that can lead to marriage. I am Yoruba Osu matter no concern me, in fact God punish the system self.

Chairman, I dey feel you. Chop knuckle jare. See how weak the guy sounds. Let him goan marry slay queen from his side now. Lol

Upworkwriter007:

When you're in the middle of the devil and the deep blue see, make a devilish decision.... If u go ahead and marry the lady, worse case scenario they will scream for 2 years , after that you're good. ....the decisions are in ur hand....only u and ur family understands how to proceed.

Lol!! 2years you said. If that's the case, nothing could have stopped me. We are talking about something that has come to stay in the family. Even to the unborn. Think about how long you have been hearing about this very issue.

Nukubib:
Chairman, I dey feel you. Chop knuckle jare. See how weak the guy sounds. Let him goan marry slay queen from his side now. Lol

I sound weak you said? Pray never to find yourself in a situation you know nothing to do about it. Just pray!!

You have already made up your mind. What advice do u need again?

Christopherrrr:


Nothing is absolutely wrong with me. Yes I have found love but the consequences are way far beyond me. It's not only gonna affect me alone but every other being from my father's loins. My parents will have a fair share of the consequences same is applicable to my siblings and every other person that involves themselves in a marital way with them. Honestly, I don't wish this for my worst enemy. Damning the consequences is easier said than done in this part of the world. To bad we ain't in the Western world where there is individualistic lifestyle.

i dont get this CONSEQUENCE, you type about. Thats the problem africa faces. We dance to the beat our elder's drum. You are a grown man, make your own choice in life. I think this outcast system of a thing should be abolish. It has no point, its inhumane. Chris, my candid advice, marry her. All those village elders, your parents and co arent going to be the once facing the bitter edge of a loveless marriage

Christopherrrr:
Hello Nairalanders, greetings. My name is Christopher (pseudonym) from the Eastern part of the country, Imo State to be precise. I'm a man in his early 30's. I have an active account here but I had to sign-up for another account for this thread.
Please pardon my grammatical errors and blunders. MOD please help move to FP.

Few months back, I fell in love with a pretty lady with a beautiful soul. She is 28. Though we are running a long distance relationship but the current in the communication link can power Kanji Dam. Lol!! We can be on calls for hours since the very day I met her. There is a fair share of the feelings, affections, respect and regard for each other. It's not one-sided. Though we have been opportune to be together thrice since the past 10months we met. I have had plans to go about engagement and marriage arrangements this coming festive period though I haven't made this known to her.
She gives me joy, she gives me happiness, she prays for me, she blesses me. There is a part of me she unraveled that I never believed existed. Above all, she gives me peace of mind.
Fast forward to last month, I invited her to a family event. I introduced her to my family as my girlfriend. Instantly everyone fell in love with her. My mum was allover her and she was indeed up and doing. She didn't disappoint me. Not pretence, she has a good home training. When she left same day after the event, my mum proclaimed her love for her. She said, "Olee ebe isi choota udi nwa nke a?" (Where did you find this kinda girl from?). This made me drop a tear of joy thereafter because I've always prayed for such from her any day I introduce a lady to her. This also happens to be my first time.

Fast forward again to 2weeks later, my dad requested I confirm her community and kindred properly because we happen to come from the same LGA. I didn't even know they have started making inquiries for me even before I asked them to. I confirmed from her and informed my dad. Only for them (my parents) to break the news to me days later that we can't marry from their kindred because they are regarded as Out-Casts (Osu-Cast System). Right now, I can't contend my heartbreak. I'm so devastated and confused.

This has been a long-term tradition that has been for centuries that I don't think it's in my capabilities to do away with it or do otherwise. My problem now is how do I break the news to her for a breakup because we can't continue like this. I have never ceased to love her less since the very day I learnt of this. In fact, she gives me reasons to love, cherish and adore her every single day. I still do that to the brim and don't have regrets. Quote me, her type is rare. I love this girl with every breath I take. I just cry myself to sleep every night after our long calls.

Please advise a brother because I'm in a deep state of dilemma.

Osu caste system may never leave the Ibo communities this is the reason.
My friend wanted to marry a girl who happens to be nan OSU from unuagwo kindred. They were both medical practitioners.. the whole family of the man went against such Osuic union saying such marraige will only turn there own lineage to osu. The matter was brought to CWO meeting and the leader of the group there is nothing like osu again in this present day. Las las the relationship was dissolved. After a while the leader of cwo that said osu is nothing...her daughter found herself in similar situation. The man she want to get married to happen to be an osu. She was so confident that her mom will support this union since she already know her stand on it....las las the same woman reget it . She said her only daughter cant marry osu.
Rev Father now remind her what she said sometimes ago and also her position as the head of Catholic women organisation that she should lead by example...she said if its her position as cwo will make her pikin marry osuw she no do again...infact she later join winners chapel sef

That is the irony of osu in iboland