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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / 36, With 295k Acct Bal About To Get Married And Have No Accommodation Yet. (3736 Views)
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Re: 36, With 295k Acct Bal About To Get Married And Have No Accommodation Yet. by tobaseye: 11:52am On Sep 26, 2019 |
Zoharariel: Yes, I am married, married at 38, my marriage is less than 2yrs. You hardly think of settling down when you have such responsibilities to carry. Because my marriage is new, I guess my wife is still cool with it. |
Re: 36, With 295k Acct Bal About To Get Married And Have No Accommodation Yet. by Nobody: 11:54am On Sep 26, 2019 |
tobaseye:If you have an issue with their mentality then you might have to take some drastic decisions to address that. I know Nigerians sometimes like to show off which is a terribly flawed mindset. Its one thing not to make enough money, it is another thing to be living above your means. If the latter is the case then you should probably let them realise on time you are not a father Christmas. |
Re: 36, With 295k Acct Bal About To Get Married And Have No Accommodation Yet. by Ishilove: 11:57am On Sep 26, 2019 |
Logobenz:If you cannot read and understand the point I was trying to make then there is something seriously wrong with your mentality. You are the quintessence of the Nigerian youths of today who find it very difficult to read between lines. 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: 36, With 295k Acct Bal About To Get Married And Have No Accommodation Yet. by Nobody: 12:07pm On Sep 26, 2019 |
Ishilove:The only point you made was people like your father should be seen as ideal for achieving stability earlier than others. Keep your sentimental bullshit and you poetry to yourself. Why would a person have to read between the lines to understand a simple message you put out? You be Nelson Mandela? Ide! 12 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: 36, With 295k Acct Bal About To Get Married And Have No Accommodation Yet. by tobaseye: 12:08pm On Sep 26, 2019 |
calgaryFriend: Yes, I am married, my marriage is less than 2yrs though. You hardly think of settling down when you have such responsibilities to carry. Because my marriage is new, I guess my wife is still cool with it. Living too far from his biz location too can add another daily burden on his finances. The cost of transportation from Abule-Egba to Oshodi for example if pooled together will be more than the cost of renting two rooms in Oshodi. (Modify) (Quote) (Report) (Share) |
Re: 36, With 295k Acct Bal About To Get Married And Have No Accommodation Yet. by Nobody: 12:30pm On Sep 26, 2019 |
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Re: 36, With 295k Acct Bal About To Get Married And Have No Accommodation Yet. by Nobody: 12:31pm On Sep 26, 2019 |
Ishilove: Go easy on him. He has discussed his dad on this forum. Apparently the man abandoned the family for some other woman. And his mum had to raise them. May account for some of the more fked up parts of his nature and his strange chauvinist misogyny. Nigga always has something to prove about money 7 Likes 1 Share |
Re: 36, With 295k Acct Bal About To Get Married And Have No Accommodation Yet. by NoToPile: 2:45pm On Sep 26, 2019 |
tobaseye: Let your brother rent a room self contain and a simple wedding, he cant afford that apartment he wants to rent( at least for now) and thats the fact. @Bolded when your own responsibilities begin to increase and you cant do much for your siblings again, its your wife they will blame just have that at the back of your mind. 3 Likes |
Re: 36, With 295k Acct Bal About To Get Married And Have No Accommodation Yet. by ctleurocollege: 3:12pm On Sep 26, 2019 |
Paying rent for 36 years old, smh Contact me if you want to study in Cyprus |
Re: 36, With 295k Acct Bal About To Get Married And Have No Accommodation Yet. by Ishilove: 3:51pm On Sep 26, 2019 |
ornicus:Abajo. His reasoning is strange and unusual, and very fvcked up. He is projecting so much bitterness, anger, self loathing and practically foaming at the mouth. Now we know why. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: 36, With 295k Acct Bal About To Get Married And Have No Accommodation Yet. by Ishilove: 3:53pm On Sep 26, 2019 |
Logobenz:Oponu oloriburuku omo ale, we now know you have daddy issues so I will ignore your childish, petulant ranting. 2 Likes |
Re: 36, With 295k Acct Bal About To Get Married And Have No Accommodation Yet. by pocohantas(f): 3:54pm On Sep 26, 2019 |
Lol... |
Re: 36, With 295k Acct Bal About To Get Married And Have No Accommodation Yet. by Nobody: 4:08pm On Sep 26, 2019 |
Dem Don hijack this thread again, with their collective stupidity.
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Re: 36, With 295k Acct Bal About To Get Married And Have No Accommodation Yet. by Esthered: 4:21pm On Sep 26, 2019 |
Dear OP, you're a generous man and it's evident in how you try to empower your siblings. I think we have to define empowerment and entitlement in African families. Your brother seems to be entitled to your money upon being empowered by you. For those saying Ishilove is insensitive, I feel they've haven't made direct sacrifices for family. I sacrificed my career for my mum and only sibling for about 3 years and hence my slow start but this year, I followed my passion and damned the consequences because if I die, they'll find their way. When you continue to spoon feed an adult, he stops to reason critically on how to better his situation. While I'm awake thinking and strategizing, the said sibling is sleeping with peace of mind that at the mention of the word, he'll get the money. I'll eat the fruit of my labour, do exploits and make impacts. When he's gone, the said sibling will come and fight the wife for the remaining properties. The reason I detest Dependants Allowance under PITA. Accountants will understand. 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: 36, With 295k Acct Bal About To Get Married And Have No Accommodation Yet. by Ishilove: 4:24pm On Sep 26, 2019 |
Esthered:You have said it all. Love covers a multitude of sins, many times to our own detriment. 2 Likes |
Re: 36, With 295k Acct Bal About To Get Married And Have No Accommodation Yet. by Nobody: 5:00pm On Sep 26, 2019 |
Give him if u can afford it. But sound it to him, in fact let the elements bear u witness that u won't give him shishi again. Sometimes tough love is needed for some people to have sense. |
Re: 36, With 295k Acct Bal About To Get Married And Have No Accommodation Yet. by Nobody: 5:02pm On Sep 26, 2019 |
36 is even an adult, abeg free him. All these pull them down family members sef. Very selfish things. 1 Like |
Re: 36, With 295k Acct Bal About To Get Married And Have No Accommodation Yet. by niyoni: 1:20pm On Oct 02, 2019 |
Hi @tobaseye. Sorry for the digression. But if I may ask, what is the nature of your business and does your brother have a different business idea/interest he may want to implement? |
Re: 36, With 295k Acct Bal About To Get Married And Have No Accommodation Yet. by MedicH: 7:31pm On Oct 02, 2019 |
Zoharariel: Best input here man. Local man salutes you. To the op you need to go by what this person said. There's a reason fate placed you before them and it's never by chance but by Providence. Do all you can for him but let your attention be on setting him up to stand on his feet and be able to help others too. I've been there really and I know how it was. Two young guys in the university studying law and me myself just came out of school but saw light before I graduated. I do two jobs in the day time and one at night to make sure they don't lack. Before you give him any money for marriage pls know the kind of woman she's marrying and how she can help in the finance of the home. That money for accommodation and marriage should preferably be put into his business so he can grow from there. Look for people that connect Nigerians to go work in Dubai and send your bro out immediately as they pay better there. Who knows, young man may want to travel. A lot of people have discouraged the good thing you are doing and that's why this forum is not a good place to seek advice because of very toxic people. I read one input by ishilove I couldn't believe somebody could think like that. In all you do for your bro don't forget, he ain't heavy. He is your brother. More strength big bro. 3 Likes 3 Shares
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Re: 36, With 295k Acct Bal About To Get Married And Have No Accommodation Yet. by Mryacks: 11:33pm On Oct 02, 2019 |
calgaryFriend: Very good.... |
Re: 36, With 295k Acct Bal About To Get Married And Have No Accommodation Yet. by naijadrivablog: 9:03am On Oct 03, 2019 |
Your brother seems to be a spender(wasteful), why not start from a cheap self con of 80k? As for marriage, he is old enough but his pocket isnt. |
Re: 36, With 295k Acct Bal About To Get Married And Have No Accommodation Yet. by tobaseye: 11:32am On Oct 03, 2019 |
MedicH: I don't have a problem helping him, but he has to help himself. I wouldn't be in his situation and rented a two-room apartment. you cannot have 295k as a biz man and be shopping for a house of 430k, for him to have come up with such, speaks volume about the way he thinks. He will not move into the house empty. He will finish the 295k even before the wedding and have nothing left for himself and his wife. I lived in a room apartment for years even when I could afford a flat because I wanted to grow my biz; It's my biz first. That is the way I want him to think. 3 Likes |
Re: 36, With 295k Acct Bal About To Get Married And Have No Accommodation Yet. by Gloriousheart(f): 1:18pm On Oct 03, 2019 |
Tobaseye ... You have to help him to help himself. He can't keep overdepending on you. If not, like others say... Your wife and even yourself will become his enemy later if he asks and you can't provide for him. Help but help with wisdom. Reduce your siblings entitlement mentality. So that problems won't arise later. You have done plenty for them. Also, get yourself a car and build yourself a house plus investments while you can. If God forbid your fortunes decline, your brother and family will ask what you did with your money when you had money. You think anybody will buy the excuse that you were only busy taking care of your siblings? Even the siblings will look at you like a foolish big brother who wasted his resources. Continue helping in the way you can, but help yourself too. Set your wife up. Put things in place. Set things in place for your coming kids. Help ooo but remember to help yourself too because nobody or very few will help you if things turn. 1 Like |
Re: 36, With 295k Acct Bal About To Get Married And Have No Accommodation Yet. by tobaseye: 4:07pm On Oct 03, 2019 |
Gloriousheart: Many thanks! |
Re: 36, With 295k Acct Bal About To Get Married And Have No Accommodation Yet. by ibechris(m): 11:11pm On Oct 03, 2019 |
It is only in Nigeria that u will see someone living larger than those who are helping them...I can only ask God to bless u for being a rare one in the family. U will live long my brother. Tell ur brother to marry someone that will add value to the family. Am also from a very disadvantaged family. But I thank God for what he has done in my family today. Wish u the best. 1 Like |
Re: 36, With 295k Acct Bal About To Get Married And Have No Accommodation Yet. by frozen70g(f): 10:56am On Oct 04, 2019 |
tobaseye: Am sorry to be blunt but take my words Your brother may rake you down simply because you are doing fine and he is not Since he wants to marry, bear in mind that you will contribute to his wedding Be straight with your statement that you don't have money and you took loan for doing all the projects you did, it's now affecting your ability to save, the bank is in your neck As for the room apartment he is living where you pay the rent, consider your junior brother and didn't ask others to leave the apartment for him He should be the one to leave the apartment for them Stop giving him every support he needs, if not you will be the one to cater for his family As soon as he gets married, start planning yours if not you won't be able to settle down because you are waiting for others to stand well Let him look for the apartment he can afford to pay the rent without being a burden to you Learn to be standing on your ground, if yare not serious, he will survive his living in you Start planning too because if you are down non of them will give you 10% of what you need to stand up Time waits for no one and there is no time again |
Re: 36, With 295k Acct Bal About To Get Married And Have No Accommodation Yet. by LyfeJennings(m): 10:59pm On Oct 04, 2019 |
calgaryFriend: I'd give a real life situation of what happened to me today going by the bolded. I graduated with a 3rd class in Uni and thankfully, my father was there for me all my life. Luckily I have worked in all sector of the economy and things are looking bright for me after a wasteful period. So I saw this old classmate today. This guy graduated with a 2nd class but mehnn, he is still struggling. Me self dey struggle o but my own struggle na luxury next to this guy. This guy would kill to have my problems. It don't make him lazy. It's just life. |
Re: 36, With 295k Acct Bal About To Get Married And Have No Accommodation Yet. by Nobody: 6:41am On Oct 05, 2019 |
LyfeJennings:Congratulations, but I hope you know it is people like you and your dad that has ensured Nigeria is a shithole that it currently is despite its huge resources. People like you undermine the value of hardwork and sacrifice of others. This makes sure that the right and best people are unable to make it to the critical sectors of the economy effectively ensuring that mediocrity permeates every corner of the country. I am not raining on your parade , I am just letting you know you are also a part of the problems of our great country. 1 Like |
Re: 36, With 295k Acct Bal About To Get Married And Have No Accommodation Yet. by Alfred74: 7:31am On Oct 05, 2019 |
tobaseye: Let him into the wild and pull back, he will sit, he will crawl, he will stand, he will fall, but he will walk , then finally run. Let him into the wild. 1 Like |
Re: 36, With 295k Acct Bal About To Get Married And Have No Accommodation Yet. by Ginaz(f): 7:34am On Oct 05, 2019 |
O.p please take care of yourself , you bro is not considerate of you. It’s just after what you give him. |
Re: 36, With 295k Acct Bal About To Get Married And Have No Accommodation Yet. by LyfeJennings(m): 7:53am On Oct 05, 2019 |
calgaryFriend: Why do U think like an idiot. My pops is a very hardworking man with interest in all sector of the economy. He has NEVER taken any dime from anyone. Not a penny from anyone. He himself was a poor kid who rose to success and lives way below his means. He is Not a politician neither does he do any illegal work so how are we part of the problem of the country. Weyrey wa Lori e gannnnn. U just sat behind Ur keyboard and type shit about people. I wasn't even bragging , we just sharing real life experiences here. Do U know how many billionaires are on this forum. Do U know how many successful people are here. Na because of ediots like U they won't share their success story. Every job I have done, I have excelled well and I deserve the promotion. I work extra hard.. I didn't even start as a boss, I rose thru the ranks. I started as a cleaner in my father's company till I became a logistics manager after 5years. Even when I got in the bank, I worked extra hard. U very stewpid bruh.... Swearugad, how did U just conclude that. So na every rich man dey spoil him pickin? Or na every rich man steal money? Smh!!! |
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