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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Mom Rejects Every Woman I Introduce To Her (30938 Views)
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Re: My Mom Rejects Every Woman I Introduce To Her by Mariangeles(f): 7:50am On Oct 03, 2019 |
johndan103:As long as your father gives you his blessings, you're good to go. Your mum is acting out of selfishness, she's over possessive of you . Just give her lots and lots of grandchildren, then she'll let you be . 3 Likes |
Re: My Mom Rejects Every Woman I Introduce To Her by Mariangeles(f): 7:53am On Oct 03, 2019 |
johndan103:Now I see where the problem lies....you're not strong willed . You're kinda weak and apologetic ![]() Why would you even honour that comment with an explanation ? 3 Likes |
Re: My Mom Rejects Every Woman I Introduce To Her by DukeNija(m): 7:54am On Oct 03, 2019 |
Rosarie: Never marry a woman until your mother gives her consent. this advise is ridiculous because you’ll regret the decision to marry a woman your mom loathes. Keep trying to win her over. |
Re: My Mom Rejects Every Woman I Introduce To Her by AdemolaA2: 7:54am On Oct 03, 2019 |
OlawaleBammie: With due respect .. Okun women of Kogi state are like that ... one needs to be careful with them !!! |
Re: My Mom Rejects Every Woman I Introduce To Her by bekpo(m): 7:54am On Oct 03, 2019 |
The truth is that this man is not ready to marry, using his mother as a bait. Is it ur mum that's going to live with her? Mothers pray for their children choices and not interfair and or influence their choices. If u r ready to marry as u claimed, go ahead and commence ur marriage plans and ur mum if realise u r serious about it will have no other option than to support u. Ur mum may believe u r still that small young man that's yet to b a man, that's can't make a decision of his. Once u show ur mum u r capable of making decisions and b responsible for it, she'll give u her support. Don't break that lady's heart in d name "my mum...." 2 Likes |
Re: My Mom Rejects Every Woman I Introduce To Her by Nobody: 7:55am On Oct 03, 2019 |
Sometimes I wonder why it is necessary for our parents to choose our life partners. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: My Mom Rejects Every Woman I Introduce To Her by kaziblake(f): 7:57am On Oct 03, 2019 |
Your mum is definitely hiding something from you 2 Likes |
Re: My Mom Rejects Every Woman I Introduce To Her by nick50(m): 7:58am On Oct 03, 2019 |
Go ahead and marry the woman of ur dreams ..and make sure u don't live under d same roof with ur parents.. Ur success will force ur mum to accept u back and pls make sure ur marriage us a smooth one..hml in advance bro 4 Likes |
Re: My Mom Rejects Every Woman I Introduce To Her by lolybaby(f): 7:59am On Oct 03, 2019 |
OKUN EGBON..our people hate that tribe with passion,infact some prefer to marry to yoruba instead of igala,beg your mum and then try to do something that can make her happy. |
Re: My Mom Rejects Every Woman I Introduce To Her by Mariangeles(f): 7:59am On Oct 03, 2019 |
Bluehill1051:Shut up! 3 Likes |
Re: My Mom Rejects Every Woman I Introduce To Her by Originalsly: 7:59am On Oct 03, 2019 |
Hmmm..... let me ask.... if you get the blessing of one parent only.... is the marriage blessed? If yes.... work on getting the blessing of your father only. If no... work on getting your siblings to be cold to your mother .....and your father if he does not come off the fence to support you. .... parents vs children. Ask them about their relationship... if their parents matched them..... if the answer is yes... then let them know that was then... the 1900's.... you are a different generation in a different century.... that they should allow you to make that shift... that's not how it works in this 21st century. If no.... then ask them why it was good for them back then and not good for you now?... why it was good for them but would not be good for you? Lay it out to them to make them feel like hypocrites..... then ask if you have no choice in the woman you want to marry?...if it is only for your mother to give you who to choose... who you must love or learn to love by force.... that you have seen so often in the news how such marriages end in divorce or bloodbaths... if that is the risk they want you to take.... that if ...more likely... the marriage doesn't work out if they will be telling you to manage it...because it is your wife?... then ask if such a wife would be yours or your mother's? ...that you can't even understand why any responsible parent would find happiness and peace of mind by shoving the son they claim to love into a marriage he does not want....that you never for a moment thought that your parents can sacrifice their son's happiness and future to fulfill their ego... that their bragging rights is more important than their son's happiness and wish to have a happy family life. In the end... for this session of trying to plaster them with guilt and embarrassment... ask that they write down exactly what is required for them to approve who you can marry. Insist that they write it down... which your mom will not want to do... then focus on finding out why she wouldn't.... get everybody involved in finding out why. As I see it.... it is about she and her friends.... about she wanting to brag that her son has married a doctor... in her generation... doctor or lawyer... nothing else counts.... and that is still in her head.... you are nothing... and will be nothing... and she would fail as a parent if her son does not marry a doctor.... that's what is driving her. Really?... whatever the place where you cannot marry their people..... let her know you were also considering a verrrry good girl with a verrrry good background.... her entire family are all in the medical profession... doctors... and she is about to graduate as a doctor and is sooooo much in love with you... even took you home to visit and her parents were excited and treated you well..... but..... why should you bring her to be embarrassed by your own parents?...and now hearing this.... you already know that relationship can go nowhere. I guarantee you... your mother will beg you to introduce that girl..... then you turn on her.... why the rules change? Bro.... you have to fight for your rights.... your mother cannot be manipulating your life... put your mother against your father.... in different words... question your father as to if he shouldn't be the decision maker in the house?... that in your family... you will uphold the African culture..... you will be the one making decisions.... not your wife.... paint him as a weak man if he can't decide in your favour... if he says his decision is the same as hers... then let him know it was not his... that's hers... he is a messenger...well... you should know how to word it! Bro... fight for your right. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: My Mom Rejects Every Woman I Introduce To Her by Vasgas: 8:00am On Oct 03, 2019 |
I know we have mother's on this forum. it is very hard to see a father trying to influence his son/daughter decision unlike mother's why?? One of their favorite quote is that "unless I did not carry you in my womb for nine months and you didn't suck my breast" My advise for you brother is that you should consider the pros and cons of the decision you are about to take, can you handle it on long run. According to what you posted, I think Hauwa understood that. There is a popular adage in Yoruba language that "you don't only marry your husband but also your husband family ditto your wife also. And also remember that you will be the one to live forever with any decision you take in life. May the Almighty God guide you. Amen 1 Like |
Re: My Mom Rejects Every Woman I Introduce To Her by Nobody: 8:03am On Oct 03, 2019 |
johndan103: Sorry for quoting everything. Your mom is not a bad person, she is just one of those women who like to control their sons forever. You are afraid that something bad will happen if you go ahead and marry without her approval. Well, my elder bro got married 4 years ago, my parents didn't attend cos they did not approve of him marrying outside their church. He is happily married with 2 children. You owe yourself a decision that makes you happy. if marrying hauwa feels like the smart choice, go ahead! If you leave Her, your mom will reject the next woman, and the next, until you at 40. If she doesn't want to bless the marriage, your father will. Let Hauwa warm up to your father and siblings, let them see what you see in her. It will be everyone against your mum. Oh and when you eventually marry, keep your mum and wife as far away as possible. else your mom might be trouble. 4 Likes |
Re: My Mom Rejects Every Woman I Introduce To Her by nick50(m): 8:03am On Oct 03, 2019 |
Finally nuclear family issagoal ..marry hauwa and find an apartment then move out with her n build ur new home...its all about ur happiness and not hers..people will blame u and not her if in the future u have a failed Marriage.. 2 Likes |
Re: My Mom Rejects Every Woman I Introduce To Her by Nobody: 8:03am On Oct 03, 2019 |
johndan103: I can help but I don't want to talk here. I won't ask you to look for me or send me money. I will just tell you what can help if you apply this knowledge correctly. |
Re: My Mom Rejects Every Woman I Introduce To Her by frankobinna(m): 8:03am On Oct 03, 2019 |
To me at my age My mom can't tell me who to marry As far as we have dated and known Our selves well enough to be for ever You see that Hauwa of a girl, don't let her go Try to keep distance with ur mom And stop communicating with her Get the girl pregnant !! Also try to have your own home U are old enough to be away from family house. Blessing or no blessing All that you guys need is Love and understanding ..... 2 Likes |
Re: My Mom Rejects Every Woman I Introduce To Her by SlimzDboss(m): 8:03am On Oct 03, 2019 |
I believe you are already man enough to make decisions on your own. It’s your life and whatever decision you make either good or bad, you gon suffer the consequences alone so go for whatever makes you happy. And pray to God for sense of direction. If you both are meant for each other, everything else will eventually fall in place. 3 Likes |
Re: My Mom Rejects Every Woman I Introduce To Her by olureignforever: 8:04am On Oct 03, 2019 |
[quote author=johndan103 post=82762958]Background I am 28 years old (will be 29 on the 18th Oct) and I am ready to go the family way. I have a lovely girlfirend lets call her Hauwa, she is 28 too (will be 29 March next year) and is emotionally matured and ready to settle down too, but the problem is my mom. Statement of Problem My mom gets irritated when I tell her i am ready to marry. She keeps hoping i dont get married soon saying i am ungrateful for all the care she has shown me. I have a Job and i have promised to do what I should do. But she said i must not marry the person i love. She has rejected every lady I have brought home. In fact she has never approved any relationship I have ever been in. Every lady i date is either a prostitute or a low life according to her. Huh, bro this is thick. It clearly shows that ur mum is not ready to accept any lady now except her choice. Let be be truthful to you, even if you eventually marry her choice, she (ur mum) will still be at logger head with her. My advice, for now, discard the issue of marriage for now while you pray. She didn't want you to get married now, in her head she want to enjoy the fruit of her labour before one woman will come and hijack my son from me. Am talking from experience. If you are rich pamper her and don't discuss the issue of marriage with her and don't let her know ur date/fiancee, she will be the one to remind you of marriage. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: My Mom Rejects Every Woman I Introduce To Her by 24kmagic: 8:04am On Oct 03, 2019 |
You guys are both from Kogi state? Let me not say what's on my mind |
Re: My Mom Rejects Every Woman I Introduce To Her by richieray: 8:05am On Oct 03, 2019 |
Most mothers are like that,they like to control their home and by extension,they surreptitiously like to control that of their children too..well,if it is a risk worth taking, you can go ahead.but be ready to defend Hauwa at all times,because even if she jumps into a pool,your mum will still accuse her of raising dust.. She can never be a good wife before your mother.shalom 2 Likes |
Re: My Mom Rejects Every Woman I Introduce To Her by laiza(m): 8:06am On Oct 03, 2019 |
Young man, you obviously are well read and matured, your family too is according to your statement. Your woman too is of the same intellectual capacity. To be honest no one knows who will be the best person for us, not even us. In my opinion if "Hauwa" is half as good as you painted her then go ahead and tie the knot with or without your mom's consent. Let her know your decision and stand your ground. You don't necessarily need your mom's blessing to decide your choice of a partner and we only do it as mere courtesy and show of respect and appreciation. Ask her one question though....if in the future you and her choice of wife for you don't work out or something happens will she take full responsibility? Secondly, bear in mind that you are responsible for anything that happens in your life, your parents might have brought you this far but you have to start living your life and stop worrying about pleasing her or anyone else. Lastly, your mom won't be around forever, love and respect her for as long as you live and don't sever ties with her no matter what, remember the woman you're marrying will someday be a mother too. All the best 1 Like |
Re: My Mom Rejects Every Woman I Introduce To Her by OlawaleBammie: 8:06am On Oct 03, 2019 |
AdemolaA2: And dat is more reason why our parent detest marrying from another tribe. Hiw can a mother be so selfish to da extent? and u re here telling us ur mother is good pls what is good in this?? a mother dat does nt listen to anybody whatsoever? nawa oh If am the boy i wil just vacate the premises, find somewhere to pray it truly she's fetish about it as Rosarie has said and after dat i arrange my wedding with dos who are ready with me so far my papa put hand, afterall na papa ge the final say. After three years i wil come bak to u to ask for ur forgiveness and blessing. by den u can not kuku pursue my wife away. 2 Likes |
Re: My Mom Rejects Every Woman I Introduce To Her by frankobinna(m): 8:07am On Oct 03, 2019 |
Case like this are not to be discussed Outside the box I mean don't take it to your kinsmen Because if you do, u will give your mom A bad remark |
Re: My Mom Rejects Every Woman I Introduce To Her by luminouz(m): 8:07am On Oct 03, 2019 |
Mariangeles:He is a well behaved,nice gentleman naaaaa Ain't that what you feminists want? ![]() |
Re: My Mom Rejects Every Woman I Introduce To Her by Offpoint: 8:08am On Oct 03, 2019 |
johndan103: Bro, from all I can draw from your story is: Your mom needs a woman she can control and manipulate at will. At 28 you should be man enough to take charge of your life. The era of parents sorting wives for their kids is over. This is 21st century, if you don't show her you're man enough to make your own decisions and ready to face whatever CONSEQUENCIES that might pop up.... she'll keep bending you to her will. She married your dad and they lived happily ever after, let her know this your own life. It's better you go against her will and marry a woman you'll be happy and comfortable with for the rest of your life, than bend to her will and marry a Disaster. Man Up. 3 Likes |
Re: My Mom Rejects Every Woman I Introduce To Her by Mariangeles(f): 8:08am On Oct 03, 2019 |
chii8:Ehn !? If he does this, then the woman will hate the poor, innocent lady the more ... She'll think her son is not married to the lady yet and she's already keeping him away from her. OP, don't ever ignore your mum o ! 2 Likes |
Re: My Mom Rejects Every Woman I Introduce To Her by luminouz(m): 8:10am On Oct 03, 2019 |
lolybaby:Pele Aburo!!! What's wrong with igalas? Is Okun not part of Yorubas? 1 Like |
Re: My Mom Rejects Every Woman I Introduce To Her by Ikem11(m): 8:10am On Oct 03, 2019 |
pocohantas: Must u be wicked with your comment. Lol Anyway you just commented my mind. @op. I am 38 years married to oyibo woman with 3 kids... Let me go straight to the point. Your mom and mine got same mind but yours is over possessive cos I remember when I wanted getting married she always tell me whatever you do never marry any woman that is not Igbo woman. When I met my wife my mom doesn't approve of it somehow cos she always make her stands clear ( marry Igbo woman) when I first got my first child na she dey rush me.. Second child ( please be teaching them Igbo language) Third child ( she came for omugo) So u see, in as much she doesn't like her but the way you handle things proves to her u a matured man who can make decisions and she will relax. So my advice, sit your mom down, allow her to finish her mind and advices to you when she is done, tell her your mind and what makes u happy as a man And by the way, your age is 28 and u marrying 28? I didn't say something is wrong there but trade with caution u will thank me one day. 2 Likes |
Re: My Mom Rejects Every Woman I Introduce To Her by Mariangeles(f): 8:10am On Oct 03, 2019 |
luminouz:To every nairaland males, all females are feminist! ![]() I'm a HUMANIST! 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Mom Rejects Every Woman I Introduce To Her by kingEllah(f): 8:11am On Oct 03, 2019 |
I would advise you to go with your heart. It's obvious your mum doesn't want you to settle down, for reasons *best* known to her. There's something your mum is definitely hiding from you, and if you continue to make her take relationship decisions for you, then you might remain single until 58. I wouldn't disrespect my mum if I were in your shoes, *neither would I get married to a weak and indecisive man, one that can't fight for what he wants* Take your stance, follow your heart. She has lived her life, she should let you live yours peacefully. 2 Likes |
Re: My Mom Rejects Every Woman I Introduce To Her by Ernesthugo(m): 8:13am On Oct 03, 2019 |
Dear hauwa, Mr poster had said it all the right way, Dear poster,u have done ur best.dont ever let hauwa go,what u and hauwa would do is take ur relationship to God,this is the best u had ever been in that is why u cant afford to lose her,take it to ur pastor fast and pray the same prayer points together, God would see u thru in a month,i promise u. Kindly check my signature i have household properties to sell,please follow me i could be ur groomsman thanks stay blessed. |
Re: My Mom Rejects Every Woman I Introduce To Her by Ifysamuel101: 8:14am On Oct 03, 2019 |
please nairaland.i need a job any job.i stay in abuja my phone number is 09033267284 my email address is asopada4@gmail.com |
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