Offpoint:


Bro, from all I can draw from your story is:
Your mom needs a woman she can control and manipulate at will.

At 28 you should be man enough to take charge of your life.
The era of parents sorting wives for their kids is over. This is 21st, if you don't show her you're man enough to make your own decisions and ready to face whatever CONSEQUENCIES that might pop up.... she'll keep bending you to her will.

She married your dad and they lived happily ever after, let her know this your own life.
It's better you go against her will and marry a woman you'll be happy and comfortable with for the rest of your life, than bend to her will and marry a Disaster.

Man Up.

Mariangeles:

To every nairaland males, all females are feminist!
I'm a HUMANIST!

Offpoint:
Bro, from all I can draw from your story is:

johndan103:


You are right on this.

I guess that's why Robert Greene said it's better to be feared than loved.

I will be more assertive about it

luminouz:



Haaaaaaaa....

You can lie o...
Humanist ko...Alienist ni...

luminouz:


But where will he gets the guts to 'man up' from? You? Or you sell some? Because I'm certainly not giving him mine. Guts are hard to come by,you either earn it or are born with it. OP is neither.
His mom is very domineering. The moment he said even his dad allows her to take decisions and let her have her way in the home was when I knew OP is fuqin gone. If he is like his Dad,the poor hauwa babe will suffer if he marries her.

Pity though,here,my mama dey beg me to bring anyone home,even if na from Mars.

midnighter:


Lol the situation is so serious that all the kogis have come out to defend themselves and Offpoint has started commenting On-point

Exc2000:



Oga you are now a man, if you dont put your fits down your mum wont let you be, this happened to my cousin whose mother is from okun yagba west, till now his mother still envies his wife and request for double of what the lady gets as gift or even what the ladiy buys herself, whenever she visits him she make them make pouded yam almost everyday and the woman only eats her own soup

The best thing you can do now is to marry who you love because no matter who you marry your mum wouldnt let go, but if you marry and impregnate huawa , you can always make peace with huawa anytime your mum flares up and with love the two of you can over come your mum's clinginess and even make jokes about it in future when you both love each other

..

Mariangeles:

Excuse you ?
Are we even acquainted ?

THUNDER4real:
Is this a real story? or fiction to entertain us,?

johndan103:



Thanks for your advise.


I will be more firm and stand up to my mom protecting my fiancee and future wife. I have tried to be respectful to my mom but she is interpreted as weakness. I wont allow anyone put my Fiancee down phycologically cos she is a nice person and deserves to be treated right.

Im glad u love hauwa and are ready to standup to ur mum when needed and protect ur wife. If you can do that honestly then fine go ahead and marry your love and be happy and if not il advise hauwa to run as fast as she can cos thats what il do if u are not able to fight and stand ur ground..ur mum has lived her life with kids so u also should live urs..it is u who will live with the woman for ur entire life so choose who u know u love and can tolerate her flaws..whish u goodluck and hauwa stay strong..i can imagine how rejected u will be feeling knowing ur mother inlaw already hates u..but love conquers all..true love.

Check my signature if u looking for a selfcontain
in abuja 140k and also 2apartments for sale 3.9m all in lugbe area of Abj

Please dont ask Hauwa to reconsider, dont scare my baby. I will intensify efforts with different strategies to get my mom to order. Shes making our lovely family appear disfunctional, and it saddens me.

OlawaleBammie:
Truly ur mum might b good to u BUT if u re nt careful might lead u to early grave.. how?? by her choice of partner for u.

Oga ur mama is bad joo, let call a spade a spade jare, all i see in her is self centeredness, selfishness, me and me alone, ITK, and a domineering nature.

A woman who wouldnt listen to anybody, how is dat a...... make i shut up there. BUT I THINK UR DAD IS WEAK SHA.

if truly she's supportive as u claimed, she shouldn't hav problem with ur choice of partner rather she should b showering u with blessing in ur new adventure.

See, i cant say u should continue oo cus i wouldn't want to b disrespectful to my mum as well, maybe u should consider singleness til 37, by den she will b forced to let u hav ur way.

johndan103:
Background
I am 28 years old (will be 29 on the 18th Oct) and I am ready to go the family way. I have a lovely girlfirend lets call her Hauwa, she is 28 too (will be 29 March next year) and is emotionally matured and ready to settle down too, but the problem is my mom.

Statement of Problem
My mom gets irritated when I tell her i am ready to marry. She keeps hoping i dont get married soon saying i am ungrateful for all the care she has shown me. I have a Job and i have promised to do what I should do. But she said i must not marry the person i love. She has rejected every lady I have brought home. In fact she has never approved any relationship I have ever been in. Every lady i date is either a prostitute or a low life according to her.


More Details
She wants to match make for me. She is always talking about her friends daughters, so last year i tried to reason with her and allowed her to send me her choice (this was before my present relationship).
She sent the lady's number and i contacted the lady. Very rude lady who thinks being a medical student is the best thing that has happened since sliced bread. We didnt gel at all cos i feel she's too slow and not my type of woman, she also wasnt digging the match making thingy. The lady eventually told me she is in another relationship and i felt relieved. I told my mom and she said theres another medical student (daughter of another friend) of hers.



My Point of View
I am tired of her trying to match make me with her own opinion of the best choice for me. I love this lady I presently am dating to the moon and I cant see myself leaving a matured, humble and independent woman for another slowpoke i dont even know.

My mom has said if i go ahead I wont have her blessings in the marriage and that i have been jazed. I used to think moms will be happy that their son wants to start a family but mine has made it harder for me. I know parents want the best for their children but this is a tall oder for me.


Hauwa's Point of View
Hauwa is already feeling rejected about the whole saga and has asked me to keep peace with my mom. She says she undestands moms are protective. She handeled it well with maturity. I delibratelty asked her to visit my mom from the begining of the relationship so that they can familiarize with themselves but my mom wont accept her. Hauwa is saying it will be difficult emotionally for us if our relationship and marriage is not accepted.


Mom's Point of View
The first reason my mom gave is that Hauwa is Igala while we are okun (i have introduced my mom to an Okun lady in the past she said our village doesnt marry from Yagba, I also introduced her to another youruba lady she said the lady parents are not together so she wont keep a home).
The second point my mom raised is that the lady is financially independent, makes money and drives a Jeep. (I have asked Hauwa about her financial status and I am convinced runs is not not her way cos she has elaborated on how she affords her lifestyle and its genuine).She also asked for the 4million she loaned me before I talk about marriage which I will. I asked her if she wants cash or a car and she said a benz. My plan is to get her an SUV before end of the year so i can focus on settling down next year. I am very lonely and tired of bachelor life. I want to settle down and start have kids not sleeping around like a fuckboy.


Family point of view
My family is very educated and well travelled so i dont understand why this issue is coming up. I am already processing visa for Hauwa cos i cant keep breaking my heart by ending relationships at her command just to to make her happy. My dad is neutral but he wont want to offend his wife so he might try and reason with her. My sisters have said they will support my chioce but I shouldnt complain if I make the wrong choice even tho my mom will try to convince my siblings not to give me any kind of emotional support.


My Question
What are the repercussions of going ahead with the marriage plans?? Has any man successfully gone against their moms wish and turned out happy??


NB: No one can change my moms mind, not my dad, not pastor, not her sister. on one because she will convince them she is right and tell them I am lying, that she has never rejected anyone except this person.
Please I dont want to give the impression that my mom is a bad person cos she has trained me in the right path and I have never lacked because of her. She is also very supportive and has provided everything and more at all times for all her children.

Please be kind to us cos im sending the link to Hauwa to read matured peoples opinion.

Cheers