Re: My Mom Rejects Every Woman I Introduce To Her by Noblefirstlady: 8:49am On Oct 03, 2019 |
Hauwa my igala sister, please if you are reading this comment never you marry this guy. I'm sorry Op this is the best advice for her.
Hauwa will have a hard time if she decides to marry you, because your mom will be controlling your home from wherever she is.
Op you are a mummy's boy and one day you will be forced to leave Hauwa and take your mum's side.
Anytime you do something wrong, your mum will blame it on Hauwa. It may even turn spiritual las Las.
Please Mr poster if you really love Hauwa, let her go. Save her the trouble, your mom will never accept her no matter how hard she try to be a good daughter in-law. Even your siblings will soon join your mum to fight Hauwa.
Please ladies if you are entering a family that do not like you, do not force it, run for your dear life. Never ever think they will grow to like you one-day. some may even pretend to like you at first and become something else once you are finally married. So please if you sense any form of rejection just run away.
I'm talking from experience. 8 Likes |
Re: My Mom Rejects Every Woman I Introduce To Her by Totibush(m): 8:49am On Oct 03, 2019 |
Go ahead and fix your wedding date with the woman you love.. get your father's blessing and support as well as that of your siblings. Your mom would come around at the long run especially when she sees your stance hasn't changed and the support you getting from other family members. 1 Like |
Re: My Mom Rejects Every Woman I Introduce To Her by Nurumaxy: 8:51am On Oct 03, 2019 |
guy just fashi u mum no be you wan marry d girl abi na she some moms can be hard at times 1 Like |
Re: My Mom Rejects Every Woman I Introduce To Her by virago(f): 8:51am On Oct 03, 2019 |
1 Like |
Re: My Mom Rejects Every Woman I Introduce To Her by NickD(m): 8:53am On Oct 03, 2019 |
johndan103: Background I am 28 years old (will be 29 on the 18th Oct) and I am ready to go the family way. I have a lovely girlfirend lets call her Hauwa, she is 28 too (will be 29 March next year) and is emotionally matured and ready to settle down too, but the problem is my mom.
Statement of Problem My mom gets irritated when I tell her i am ready to marry. She keeps hoping i dont get married soon saying i am ungrateful for all the care she has shown me. I have a Job and i have promised to do what I should do. But she said i must not marry the person i love. She has rejected every lady I have brought home. In fact she has never approved any relationship I have ever been in. Every lady i date is either a prostitute or a low life according to her.
More Details She wants to match make for me. She is always talking about her friends daughters, so last year i tried to reason with her and allowed her to send me her choice (this was before my present relationship). She sent the lady's number and i contacted the lady. Very rude lady who thinks being a medical student is the best thing that has happened since sliced bread. We didnt gel at all cos i feel she's too slow and not my type of woman, she also wasnt digging the match making thingy. The lady eventually told me she is in another relationship and i felt relieved. I told my mom and she said theres another medical student (daughter of another friend) of hers.
My Point of View I am tired of her trying to match make me with her own opinion of the best choice for me. I love this lady I presently am dating to the moon and I cant see myself leaving a matured, humble and independent woman for another slowpoke i dont even know.
My mom has said if i go ahead I wont have her blessings in the marriage and that i have been jazed. I used to think moms will be happy that their son wants to start a family but mine has made it harder for me. I know parents want the best for their children but this is a tall oder for me.
Hauwa's Point of View Hauwa is already feeling rejected about the whole saga and has asked me to keep peace with my mom. She says she undestands moms are protective. She handeled it well with maturity. I delibratelty asked her to visit my mom from the begining of the relationship so that they can familiarize with themselves but my mom wont accept her. Hauwa is saying it will be difficult emotionally for us if our relationship and marriage is not accepted.
Mom's Point of View The first reason my mom gave is that Hauwa is Igala while we are okun (i have introduced my mom to an Okun lady in the past she said our village doesnt marry from Yagba, I also introduced her to another youruba lady she said the lady parents are not together so she wont keep a home). The second point my mom raised is that the lady is financially independent, makes money and drives a Jeep. (I have asked Hauwa about her financial status and I am convinced runs is not not her way cos she has elaborated on how she affords her lifestyle and its genuine).She also asked for the 4million she loaned me before I talk about marriage which I will. I asked her if she wants cash or a car and she said a benz. My plan is to get her an SUV before end of the year so i can focus on settling down next year. I am very lonely and tired of bachelor life. I want to settle down and start have kids not sleeping around like a fuckboy.
Family point of view My family is very educated and well travelled so i dont understand why this issue is coming up. I am already processing visa for Hauwa cos i cant keep breaking my heart by ending relationships at her command just to to make her happy. My dad is neutral but he wont want to offend his wife so he might try and reason with her. My sisters have said they will support my chioce but I shouldnt complain if I make the wrong choice even tho my mom will try to convince my siblings not to give me any kind of emotional support.
My Question What are the repercussions of going ahead with the marriage plans?? Has any man successfully gone against their moms wish and turned out happy??
NB: No one can change my moms mind, not my dad, not pastor, not her sister. on one because she will convince them she is right and tell them I am lying, that she has never rejected anyone except this person. Please I dont want to give the impression that my mom is a bad person cos she has trained me in the right path and I have never lacked because of her. She is also very supportive and has provided everything and more at all times for all her children.
Please be kind to us cos im sending the link to Hauwa to read matured peoples opinion.
Cheers Man up bro. Your life your choice. If she loves you she'll come around eventually. |
Re: My Mom Rejects Every Woman I Introduce To Her by Quincykay: 8:56am On Oct 03, 2019 |
johndan103:
Thanks!!
This is by far the most interesting advise so far. That's because it's the truth. It's your life. Be respectful but FIRM with your mom. Your wife DOESN'T need to have a relationship with her. It's your mom's choice if she wants to be in YOUR future, to hopefully see grandkids. And NEVER discuss your relationship with people you know. Good or bad! 2 Likes |
Re: My Mom Rejects Every Woman I Introduce To Her by Faseyi17: 8:57am On Oct 03, 2019 |
I hardly comment but let me say this. Your mum want someone that she can control coz i guess you are the only male child she hv or the one with the stable source of income.... Jxt assure her that u will surly take gud care of her... Have seen alot of Christian doing wedding without there parents concent... So do whatever rock your ship. Nd be prayerful... |
Re: My Mom Rejects Every Woman I Introduce To Her by nelson86: 8:57am On Oct 03, 2019 |
browseyd22: Take a stand and be a man,ur mom wants a woman she can control so she can control u, she wants u to be under her all ur life and u 're proving her right u say d point, because she's d one has the final word in her home and she is try extend it to her son |
Re: My Mom Rejects Every Woman I Introduce To Her by Nobody: 8:58am On Oct 03, 2019 |
The "I love my mum more than life crew" ![grin](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/grin.png) This is one of the consequences of trying to play the role of a "husband" to your mum excluding the sex part. Mothers like this lack one thing. Love from their husbands. Your dad must have resigned to his fate with her and who knows( might have been pushed to collect outside severally), she ain't getting the love she desires from her husband so she shifted such to her children. U can never be your dad. Ur love for her is a child's love to his mum and nothing else. When u dig the root, the tree will shake. Digging the root means telling your mum boldly to stop seeing you the way she sees your dad. Ur mum will be very shocked to hear this from you and it will change a whole lot in your relationship with her. Most of u guys don't know the damage u do by being to clingy to your parents. She will continue till forever if u don't stop her. Even grandchildren coming will worsen it. Then she will have good excuse to visit your house or will u stop her from coming to see her grandkids? And ur sweet woman can change over night if such continues. There are 3 characters to every lady. The character she displays when she want to win you for marriage, the one u see when she started answering Mrs and her real character after giving birth especially son to those who value sons more than daughters. Let's hope she dont change. And yes, some daughters in law can stop a controlling mum from interfering in her marriage if she feel her husband is a wussie. So if u are the cool type naturally, u need a mad lady( literally)to put your mum in her place else your house will continue to be her football field. 5 Likes |
Re: My Mom Rejects Every Woman I Introduce To Her by Babygal2020(f): 8:59am On Oct 03, 2019 |
pocohantas: E remain make you type reference and appreciation, it'll become a fullblown final year project.
Maybe it is this your grammar that is making her refuse. She is probably not understanding you and your choices. Lol |
Re: My Mom Rejects Every Woman I Introduce To Her by PeacenLove2: 9:01am On Oct 03, 2019 |
Some mothers have control issues and feel threatened when they see another strong woman. Op, if at your age, you take home a woman and your family cannot respect your choice, it says everything about you or your nature. You should command respect as a grown ass man. None of these folks will live with you when you settle down. Your problems will be yours alone as there is a limit another person even closest member of your family will be there for you. Your new family will be you, your wife and children. Having said that, if you end up going against your mom and marrying her, don't ever let it seem as if you made one huge sacrifice for Hauwa because there will certainly be times in your relationship when you will feel your mom was right after all. For Hauwa, if you love this guy and want to be with him, just lay back. Dude loves his mom and won't even admit his mom is a control ... well you know so just keep on being respectful and open but my dear, don't let her bring you down. Don't allow anyone for any reason turn you into a shadow of yourself. Without his mom's acceptance, your relationship will be tough. So have that at the back of your mind and brace for impact always. That should help. I do hope however that OP takes a solid stand except he is second guessing himself. You guys talk, OP talk to your mom again, at least let her be civil even if she cannot be doting towards your wife. Given time, if both women are truly good peoole, the love and respect will come. Good luck, Op. Sorry I called out your mom small sha. ![grin](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/grin.png) 2 Likes |
Re: My Mom Rejects Every Woman I Introduce To Her by Nobody: 9:03am On Oct 03, 2019 |
NickD:
Man up bro. Your life your choice. If she loves you she'll come around eventually. They get worst unless something is done. They are so manipulative that they can be admitted in the hospital for one unknown sickness because of manipulation. Once your mum start telling u" I carry u for nine months"...bla bla bla, she is the manipulative type ![grin](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/grin.png) 3 Likes |
Re: My Mom Rejects Every Woman I Introduce To Her by mayorall(m): 9:08am On Oct 03, 2019 |
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Re: My Mom Rejects Every Woman I Introduce To Her by Nobody: 9:11am On Oct 03, 2019 |
johndan103:
You are right on this.
I guess that's why Robert Greene said it's better to be feared than loved.
I will be more assertive about it I love Robert Greene , I wish you all the best bro |
Re: My Mom Rejects Every Woman I Introduce To Her by Kellydboss(m): 9:12am On Oct 03, 2019 |
Rosarie: My dear women can make or break a man. Stop communicating with ur mom,go into.prayers,ur mom may not have clean hands,give her space,kill communication and see if she will miss you, After a month or two go ahead without her,u love her but she has lived he life.this liife is one,if she had a spiritual contract about u getting married or trade ur life go on ur k need.a woman who does. Not have whom she respects has a deep heart. Go ahead Your mom is very selfish,even devil respects God!
My taught exactly.
|
Re: My Mom Rejects Every Woman I Introduce To Her by frozen70g(f): 9:13am On Oct 03, 2019 |
johndan103: Background I am 28 years old (will be 29 on the 18th Oct) and I am ready to go the family way. I have a lovely girlfirend lets call her Hauwa, she is 28 too (will be 29 March next year) and is emotionally matured and ready to settle down too, but the problem is my mom.
Statement of Problem My mom gets irritated when I tell her i am ready to marry. She keeps hoping i dont get married soon saying i am ungrateful for all the care she has shown me. I have a Job and i have promised to do what I should do. But she said i must not marry the person i love. She has rejected every lady I have brought home. In fact she has never approved any relationship I have ever been in. Every lady i date is either a prostitute or a low life according to her.
More Details She wants to match make for me. She is always talking about her friends daughters, so last year i tried to reason with her and allowed her to send me her choice (this was before my present relationship). She sent the lady's number and i contacted the lady. Very rude lady who thinks being a medical student is the best thing that has happened since sliced bread. We didnt gel at all cos i feel she's too slow and not my type of woman, she also wasnt digging the match making thingy. The lady eventually told me she is in another relationship and i felt relieved. I told my mom and she said theres another medical student (daughter of another friend) of hers.
My Point of View I am tired of her trying to match make me with her own opinion of the best choice for me. I love this lady I presently am dating to the moon and I cant see myself leaving a matured, humble and independent woman for another slowpoke i dont even know.
My mom has said if i go ahead I wont have her blessings in the marriage and that i have been jazed. I used to think moms will be happy that their son wants to start a family but mine has made it harder for me. I know parents want the best for their children but this is a tall oder for me.
Hauwa's Point of View Hauwa is already feeling rejected about the whole saga and has asked me to keep peace with my mom. She says she undestands moms are protective. She handeled it well with maturity. I delibratelty asked her to visit my mom from the begining of the relationship so that they can familiarize with themselves but my mom wont accept her. Hauwa is saying it will be difficult emotionally for us if our relationship and marriage is not accepted.
Mom's Point of View The first reason my mom gave is that Hauwa is Igala while we are okun (i have introduced my mom to an Okun lady in the past she said our village doesnt marry from Yagba, I also introduced her to another youruba lady she said the lady parents are not together so she wont keep a home). The second point my mom raised is that the lady is financially independent, makes money and drives a Jeep. (I have asked Hauwa about her financial status and I am convinced runs is not not her way cos she has elaborated on how she affords her lifestyle and its genuine).She also asked for the 4million she loaned me before I talk about marriage which I will. I asked her if she wants cash or a car and she said a benz. My plan is to get her an SUV before end of the year so i can focus on settling down next year. I am very lonely and tired of bachelor life. I want to settle down and start have kids not sleeping around like a fuckboy.
Family point of view My family is very educated and well travelled so i dont understand why this issue is coming up. I am already processing visa for Hauwa cos i cant keep breaking my heart by ending relationships at her command just to to make her happy. My dad is neutral but he wont want to offend his wife so he might try and reason with her. My sisters have said they will support my chioce but I shouldnt complain if I make the wrong choice even tho my mom will try to convince my siblings not to give me any kind of emotional support.
My Question What are the repercussions of going ahead with the marriage plans?? Has any man successfully gone against their moms wish and turned out happy??
NB: No one can change my moms mind, not my dad, not pastor, not her sister. on one because she will convince them she is right and tell them I am lying, that she has never rejected anyone except this person. Please I dont want to give the impression that my mom is a bad person cos she has trained me in the right path and I have never lacked because of her. She is also very supportive and has provided everything and more at all times for all her children.
Please be kind to us cos im sending the link to Hauwa to read matured peoples opinion.
Cheers Well it's time you start taking some personal decisions, irrespective of who who likes it and who doesn't like it but with respect and regards If you are very sure, she is the one you are settling down with, make sure you don't come back to your family, go ahead If possible pregnant her for her first and other pregnancies Just let it be an agreement between both of you When your mum sees that you are really getting along, she will give up Don't blame yourum for being who she is, at times is like that especially with first sons By doing so, your mum and your wife to be will have your time and attention and she would left with no options |
Re: My Mom Rejects Every Woman I Introduce To Her by wamide042(m): 9:24am On Oct 03, 2019 |
This bros dey lie joor... I watched something similar to his story on African Magic somedays ago.. His exact story .... |
Re: My Mom Rejects Every Woman I Introduce To Her by Alexk2(m): 9:25am On Oct 03, 2019 |
johndan103: Background I am 28 years old (will be 29 on the 18th Oct) and I am ready to go the family way. I have a lovely girlfirend lets call her Hauwa, she is 28 too (will be 29 March next year) and is emotionally matured and ready to settle down too, but the problem is my mom.
Statement of Problem My mom gets irritated when I tell her i am ready to marry. She keeps hoping i dont get married soon saying i am ungrateful for all the care she has shown me. I have a Job and i have promised to do what I should do. But she said i must not marry the person i love. She has rejected every lady I have brought home. In fact she has never approved any relationship I have ever been in. Every lady i date is either a prostitute or a low life according to her.
More Details She wants to match make for me. She is always talking about her friends daughters, so last year i tried to reason with her and allowed her to send me her choice (this was before my present relationship). She sent the lady's number and i contacted the lady. Very rude lady who thinks being a medical student is the best thing that has happened since sliced bread. We didnt gel at all cos i feel she's too slow and not my type of woman, she also wasnt digging the match making thingy. The lady eventually told me she is in another relationship and i felt relieved. I told my mom and she said theres another medical student (daughter of another friend) of hers.
My Point of View I am tired of her trying to match make me with her own opinion of the best choice for me. I love this lady I presently am dating to the moon and I cant see myself leaving a matured, humble and independent woman for another slowpoke i dont even know.
My mom has said if i go ahead I wont have her blessings in the marriage and that i have been jazed. I used to think moms will be happy that their son wants to start a family but mine has made it harder for me. I know parents want the best for their children but this is a tall oder for me.
Hauwa's Point of View Hauwa is already feeling rejected about the whole saga and has asked me to keep peace with my mom. She says she undestands moms are protective. She handeled it well with maturity. I delibratelty asked her to visit my mom from the begining of the relationship so that they can familiarize with themselves but my mom wont accept her. Hauwa is saying it will be difficult emotionally for us if our relationship and marriage is not accepted.
Mom's Point of View The first reason my mom gave is that Hauwa is Igala while we are okun (i have introduced my mom to an Okun lady in the past she said our village doesnt marry from Yagba, I also introduced her to another youruba lady she said the lady parents are not together so she wont keep a home). The second point my mom raised is that the lady is financially independent, makes money and drives a Jeep. (I have asked Hauwa about her financial status and I am convinced runs is not not her way cos she has elaborated on how she affords her lifestyle and its genuine).She also asked for the 4million she loaned me before I talk about marriage which I will. I asked her if she wants cash or a car and she said a benz. My plan is to get her an SUV before end of the year so i can focus on settling down next year. I am very lonely and tired of bachelor life. I want to settle down and start have kids not sleeping around like a fuckboy.
Family point of view My family is very educated and well travelled so i dont understand why this issue is coming up. I am already processing visa for Hauwa cos i cant keep breaking my heart by ending relationships at her command just to to make her happy. My dad is neutral but he wont want to offend his wife so he might try and reason with her. My sisters have said they will support my chioce but I shouldnt complain if I make the wrong choice even tho my mom will try to convince my siblings not to give me any kind of emotional support.
My Question What are the repercussions of going ahead with the marriage plans?? Has any man successfully gone against their moms wish and turned out happy??
NB: No one can change my moms mind, not my dad, not pastor, not her sister. on one because she will convince them she is right and tell them I am lying, that she has never rejected anyone except this person. Please I dont want to give the impression that my mom is a bad person cos she has trained me in the right path and I have never lacked because of her. She is also very supportive and has provided everything and more at all times for all her children.
Please be kind to us cos im sending the link to Hauwa to read matured peoples opinion.
Cheers As an okun guy who most probably come from same lga as yours, I want to say I can't relate with your mum excuses except the "yagba" case. Your mum is only being selfish and unreasonable. You'll have to get someone she respect(like her pastor) to talk to her and if that fails, you'll have to stand your ground and marry the lady you love and understand. Your mum won't be there for you in your marital journey; so be sure to prayerfully choose the one you're convinced of and not mum's choice.....but make sure you look after her after your marriage; that may be what'll finally change her perception. 3 Likes |
Re: My Mom Rejects Every Woman I Introduce To Her by garyaustin(m): 9:28am On Oct 03, 2019 |
I think your Mom is only testing how serious you are and if you truly love the woman you want to marry. Advice: stand firm on your choice. You are the one to live with your wife. The moment your mommy sees the fire of seriousness and firm resolve, she will give her blessings. She will eventually tell you that she never hated anyone. She only wanted to be sure of you. Last line; the problem is you not your Mommy. 2 Likes |
Re: My Mom Rejects Every Woman I Introduce To Her by zyzxx(m): 9:29am On Oct 03, 2019 |
johndan103:
Thanks for your advise.
I would have ignored her if she was not already ignoring me. We had an argument about Hauwa 2 days ago, she hung up the phone and asked me to forget about her if I go ahead with my plans.
I dont want to reach out to her either but shes has already started the ignorance as she usually does. This is not new my brother, there is a common saying in Yoruba " All Mothers want there children to have children but they don't want them to get married' your mum is nice and she is just over protective, you have to let her face the reality, it is your life, your home, your future, 90% of any decision you make you will be responsible for it. so just let your mum be, she should face your dad not your wife... just dis-connect yourself from her, so that she can face the reality that it time you move on. 4 Likes |
Re: My Mom Rejects Every Woman I Introduce To Her by Taduma1(f): 9:31am On Oct 03, 2019 |
Sorry bro, but this our present generation mothers are overprotective, imagine dis kind wedding invitation by mother 2 Likes
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Re: My Mom Rejects Every Woman I Introduce To Her by Thomas333(m): 9:34am On Oct 03, 2019 |
I had a similar issue and I went ahead and married my sweetheart. I went againsty mum and succeeded. If mum has doesn't have a cogent reason for her disapproval, please go ahead with your plans - life's too short for you to live your parent's life. Youst understand that most mothers see their sons as their "boyfriends" and get jealous when the issue of marriage comes up. You have to man up and do what you see as good for yourself. Above all, be you a Christian or Muslim, pray fervently before making your decision for God to guide you. If you are still convinced, go through with it. Eventually your mum will come around, just like mine did. I guarantee it johndan103: Background I am 28 years old (will be 29 on the 18th Oct) and I am ready to go the family way. I have a lovely girlfirend lets call her Hauwa, she is 28 too (will be 29 March next year) and is emotionally matured and ready to settle down too, but the problem is my mom.
Statement of Problem My mom gets irritated when I tell her i am ready to marry. She keeps hoping i dont get married soon saying i am ungrateful for all the care she has shown me. I have a Job and i have promised to do what I should do. But she said i must not marry the person i love. She has rejected every lady I have brought home. In fact she has never approved any relationship I have ever been in. Every lady i date is either a prostitute or a low life according to her.
More Details She wants to match make for me. She is always talking about her friends daughters, so last year i tried to reason with her and allowed her to send me her choice (this was before my present relationship). She sent the lady's number and i contacted the lady. Very rude lady who thinks being a medical student is the best thing that has happened since sliced bread. We didnt gel at all cos i feel she's too slow and not my type of woman, she also wasnt digging the match making thingy. The lady eventually told me she is in another relationship and i felt relieved. I told my mom and she said theres another medical student (daughter of another friend) of hers.
My Point of View I am tired of her trying to match make me with her own opinion of the best choice for me. I love this lady I presently am dating to the moon and I cant see myself leaving a matured, humble and independent woman for another slowpoke i dont even know.
My mom has said if i go ahead I wont have her blessings in the marriage and that i have been jazed. I used to think moms will be happy that their son wants to start a family but mine has made it harder for me. I know parents want the best for their children but this is a tall oder for me.
Hauwa's Point of View Hauwa is already feeling rejected about the whole saga and has asked me to keep peace with my mom. She says she undestands moms are protective. She handeled it well with maturity. I delibratelty asked her to visit my mom from the begining of the relationship so that they can familiarize with themselves but my mom wont accept her. Hauwa is saying it will be difficult emotionally for us if our relationship and marriage is not accepted.
Mom's Point of View The first reason my mom gave is that Hauwa is Igala while we are okun (i have introduced my mom to an Okun lady in the past she said our village doesnt marry from Yagba, I also introduced her to another youruba lady she said the lady parents are not together so she wont keep a home). The second point my mom raised is that the lady is financially independent, makes money and drives a Jeep. (I have asked Hauwa about her financial status and I am convinced runs is not not her way cos she has elaborated on how she affords her lifestyle and its genuine).She also asked for the 4million she loaned me before I talk about marriage which I will. I asked her if she wants cash or a car and she said a benz. My plan is to get her an SUV before end of the year so i can focus on settling down next year. I am very lonely and tired of bachelor life. I want to settle down and start have kids not sleeping around like a fuckboy.
Family point of view My family is very educated and well travelled so i dont understand why this issue is coming up. I am already processing visa for Hauwa cos i cant keep breaking my heart by ending relationships at her command just to to make her happy. My dad is neutral but he wont want to offend his wife so he might try and reason with her. My sisters have said they will support my chioce but I shouldnt complain if I make the wrong choice even tho my mom will try to convince my siblings not to give me any kind of emotional support.
My Question What are the repercussions of going ahead with the marriage plans?? Has any man successfully gone against their moms wish and turned out happy??
NB: No one can change my moms mind, not my dad, not pastor, not her sister. on one because she will convince them she is right and tell them I am lying, that she has never rejected anyone except this person. Please I dont want to give the impression that my mom is a bad person cos she has trained me in the right path and I have never lacked because of her. She is also very supportive and has provided everything and more at all times for all her children.
Please be kind to us cos im sending the link to Hauwa to read matured peoples opinion.
Cheers 2 Likes |
Re: My Mom Rejects Every Woman I Introduce To Her by isokey: 9:34am On Oct 03, 2019 |
Uhmmm...my advise is for hauwa...please think it through and through at this point before taking a step further. Even if you eventually made up your mind to marry Mr Op, be careful not to be put in the family way. Never underestimate what a manipulative and domineering person can do and the way they get it done. It will be your obligation to respect her irrespective of what she says or does without losing your self respect and esteem. Pray and be patient about it. Wish u the best sis. |
Re: My Mom Rejects Every Woman I Introduce To Her by bigtt76(f): 9:38am On Oct 03, 2019 |
Propose to mommsie one day ....she go conform ![cheesy](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/cheesy.png) johndan103: Background I am 28 years old (will be 29 on the 18th Oct) and I am ready to go the family way. I have a lovely girlfirend lets call her Hauwa, she is 28 too (will be 29 March next year) and is emotionally matured and ready to settle down too, but the problem is my mom.
Statement of Problem My mom gets irritated when I tell her i am ready to marry. She keeps hoping i dont get married soon saying i am ungrateful for all the care she has shown me. I have a Job and i have promised to do what I should do. But she said i must not marry the person i love. She has rejected every lady I have brought home. In fact she has never approved any relationship I have ever been in. Every lady i date is either a prostitute or a low life according to her.
More Details She wants to match make for me. She is always talking about her friends daughters, so last year i tried to reason with her and allowed her to send me her choice (this was before my present relationship). She sent the lady's number and i contacted the lady. Very rude lady who thinks being a medical student is the best thing that has happened since sliced bread. We didnt gel at all cos i feel she's too slow and not my type of woman, she also wasnt digging the match making thingy. The lady eventually told me she is in another relationship and i felt relieved. I told my mom and she said theres another medical student (daughter of another friend) of hers.
My Point of View I am tired of her trying to match make me with her own opinion of the best choice for me. I love this lady I presently am dating to the moon and I cant see myself leaving a matured, humble and independent woman for another slowpoke i dont even know.
My mom has said if i go ahead I wont have her blessings in the marriage and that i have been jazed. I used to think moms will be happy that their son wants to start a family but mine has made it harder for me. I know parents want the best for their children but this is a tall oder for me.
Hauwa's Point of View Hauwa is already feeling rejected about the whole saga and has asked me to keep peace with my mom. She says she undestands moms are protective. She handeled it well with maturity. I delibratelty asked her to visit my mom from the begining of the relationship so that they can familiarize with themselves but my mom wont accept her. Hauwa is saying it will be difficult emotionally for us if our relationship and marriage is not accepted.
Mom's Point of View The first reason my mom gave is that Hauwa is Igala while we are okun (i have introduced my mom to an Okun lady in the past she said our village doesnt marry from Yagba, I also introduced her to another youruba lady she said the lady parents are not together so she wont keep a home). The second point my mom raised is that the lady is financially independent, makes money and drives a Jeep. (I have asked Hauwa about her financial status and I am convinced runs is not not her way cos she has elaborated on how she affords her lifestyle and its genuine).She also asked for the 4million she loaned me before I talk about marriage which I will. I asked her if she wants cash or a car and she said a benz. My plan is to get her an SUV before end of the year so i can focus on settling down next year. I am very lonely and tired of bachelor life. I want to settle down and start have kids not sleeping around like a fuckboy.
Family point of view My family is very educated and well travelled so i dont understand why this issue is coming up. I am already processing visa for Hauwa cos i cant keep breaking my heart by ending relationships at her command just to to make her happy. My dad is neutral but he wont want to offend his wife so he might try and reason with her. My sisters have said they will support my chioce but I shouldnt complain if I make the wrong choice even tho my mom will try to convince my siblings not to give me any kind of emotional support.
My Question What are the repercussions of going ahead with the marriage plans?? Has any man successfully gone against their moms wish and turned out happy??
NB: No one can change my moms mind, not my dad, not pastor, not her sister. on one because she will convince them she is right and tell them I am lying, that she has never rejected anyone except this person. Please I dont want to give the impression that my mom is a bad person cos she has trained me in the right path and I have never lacked because of her. She is also very supportive and has provided everything and more at all times for all her children.
Please be kind to us cos im sending the link to Hauwa to read matured peoples opinion.
Cheers 1 Like |
Re: My Mom Rejects Every Woman I Introduce To Her by calyto: 9:45am On Oct 03, 2019 |
Maybe she doesn't trust your choice of women. She may think that you have eyes for mother-inlaw crushers. Those women that their first mission is to neutralize their mother inlaws and have the husband, all for themselves |
Re: My Mom Rejects Every Woman I Introduce To Her by OlawaleBammie: 9:45am On Oct 03, 2019 |
sniperr007:
You sha no get joy. You even involved his dad.
I get joy na, its just dat i detest it wen a leader of d ous is behavin like a mere follower, man is d head of d ous, u re d one saddled with the final say, ur woman has d advice to give u. in our family oo, our women giv our men advice, the show us wat we dont knw if peradventure there is one BUT our men has always had d final say on issues. we re nt weaklings |
Re: My Mom Rejects Every Woman I Introduce To Her by Timbuktuo: 9:49am On Oct 03, 2019 |
The bitter truth is that your mother wants to be controlling you the very same way she’s controlling your father. She’s a control freak 5 Likes |
Re: My Mom Rejects Every Woman I Introduce To Her by bowers(m): 9:51am On Oct 03, 2019 |
Guy follow your heart and marry the love of your life, your mum married her own love too (your dad)..she will die and go eventually and you will be left with the choices she made for you, you are a grown man and I believe you know what you need in your life and the kind of woman you want to build a family with..Hauwa seems like every mans dream given the current crop of ladies our current generation have to offer...I wish you and Hauwa a happy married life in advance. johndan103: Background I am 28 years old (will be 29 on the 18th Oct) and I am ready to go the family way. I have a lovely girlfirend lets call her Hauwa, she is 28 too (will be 29 March next year) and is emotionally matured and ready to settle down too, but the problem is my mom.
Statement of Problem My mom gets irritated when I tell her i am ready to marry. She keeps hoping i dont get married soon saying i am ungrateful for all the care she has shown me. I have a Job and i have promised to do what I should do. But she said i must not marry the person i love. She has rejected every lady I have brought home. In fact she has never approved any relationship I have ever been in. Every lady i date is either a prostitute or a low life according to her.
More Details She wants to match make for me. She is always talking about her friends daughters, so last year i tried to reason with her and allowed her to send me her choice (this was before my present relationship). She sent the lady's number and i contacted the lady. Very rude lady who thinks being a medical student is the best thing that has happened since sliced bread. We didnt gel at all cos i feel she's too slow and not my type of woman, she also wasnt digging the match making thingy. The lady eventually told me she is in another relationship and i felt relieved. I told my mom and she said theres another medical student (daughter of another friend) of hers.
My Point of View I am tired of her trying to match make me with her own opinion of the best choice for me. I love this lady I presently am dating to the moon and I cant see myself leaving a matured, humble and independent woman for another slowpoke i dont even know.
My mom has said if i go ahead I wont have her blessings in the marriage and that i have been jazed. I used to think moms will be happy that their son wants to start a family but mine has made it harder for me. I know parents want the best for their children but this is a tall oder for me.
Hauwa's Point of View Hauwa is already feeling rejected about the whole saga and has asked me to keep peace with my mom. She says she undestands moms are protective. She handeled it well with maturity. I delibratelty asked her to visit my mom from the begining of the relationship so that they can familiarize with themselves but my mom wont accept her. Hauwa is saying it will be difficult emotionally for us if our relationship and marriage is not accepted.
Mom's Point of View The first reason my mom gave is that Hauwa is Igala while we are okun (i have introduced my mom to an Okun lady in the past she said our village doesnt marry from Yagba, I also introduced her to another youruba lady she said the lady parents are not together so she wont keep a home). The second point my mom raised is that the lady is financially independent, makes money and drives a Jeep. (I have asked Hauwa about her financial status and I am convinced runs is not not her way cos she has elaborated on how she affords her lifestyle and its genuine).She also asked for the 4million she loaned me before I talk about marriage which I will. I asked her if she wants cash or a car and she said a benz. My plan is to get her an SUV before end of the year so i can focus on settling down next year. I am very lonely and tired of bachelor life. I want to settle down and start have kids not sleeping around like a fuckboy.
Family point of view My family is very educated and well travelled so i dont understand why this issue is coming up. I am already processing visa for Hauwa cos i cant keep breaking my heart by ending relationships at her command just to to make her happy. My dad is neutral but he wont want to offend his wife so he might try and reason with her. My sisters have said they will support my chioce but I shouldnt complain if I make the wrong choice even tho my mom will try to convince my siblings not to give me any kind of emotional support.
My Question What are the repercussions of going ahead with the marriage plans?? Has any man successfully gone against their moms wish and turned out happy??
NB: No one can change my moms mind, not my dad, not pastor, not her sister. on one because she will convince them she is right and tell them I am lying, that she has never rejected anyone except this person. Please I dont want to give the impression that my mom is a bad person cos she has trained me in the right path and I have never lacked because of her. She is also very supportive and has provided everything and more at all times for all her children.
Please be kind to us cos im sending the link to Hauwa to read matured peoples opinion.
Cheers 1 Like |
Re: My Mom Rejects Every Woman I Introduce To Her by tomju(m): 9:51am On Oct 03, 2019 |
I will advise you thus.1. Marry Hauwa if you love her. 2. Your mom cannot decide who you will marry! It's not her marriage. 3. What she can offer is motherly advice, but you reserve the right to ignore it. Especially when such advice is skewed on bias or selfishness. 4. If she forces you to marry who she desires, your home will be her "extention". Eg. She will decide how many kids you should have. When to build a house, why you should spend money on A,B or C etc. I guess you've been dependent on her! Otherwise, if you are a man of your own pedigree I don't think she can influenced your decision to such a great degree. Go after your heart my friend. You're the one that will make your marriage work and not your mom. You cannot shave a man's head that isnt present physically with you. Think. 3 Likes |
Re: My Mom Rejects Every Woman I Introduce To Her by Nobody: 9:56am On Oct 03, 2019 |
Johndan103
I read every word and I can easily relate to your story. My mum just like yours is the most supportive mum, cares and love her children. She also would rather I marry from her religion which I really don't care about as I am not religious myself.
Fact is, you need to man up and stand your ground on your life partner.
Your sisters saying you will be unable to complain if you end up making the wrong choice, that I understand. But life is about making your own mistakes. If you believe she is the right one for you, Please do not let go because your mum is trying to have her way.
I believe you are financially independent, you don't have to worry if they want to cut you off financially because usually when parents don't have their ways they threaten one thing or the other. If she gets mad, with time she will forgive. She is your mum she would have no choice.
Just don't make a mistake you will regret for the rest of your life. Parents are special but don't let them manipulate you when it comes to life decisions that are yours to make.
I wish you the best! 3 Likes |
Re: My Mom Rejects Every Woman I Introduce To Her by midnighter(f): 10:00am On Oct 03, 2019 |
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Re: My Mom Rejects Every Woman I Introduce To Her by Aleora(f): 10:03am On Oct 03, 2019 |
Honestly,that's what I wanted to write. breadplanets: I only have advise for Hauwa...... Ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun
![](/faces/huh.png) 1 Like |