Omar09:


Make a move. Tell her come over that you are cooking dinner... Then make a move... Lean in for a kiss.

I'm not a typical f**k boy, I'm neither a saint, tho I've got raging hormones. In my previous relationship my girlfriend tried initiating the romance of which didn't really go down too well because I'm kinda spiritual.

Anotii:

U might put her in a situation she doesn't wanna be in...just kiss her straight away in the moment, avoid talks and if it doesn't work out,you are still in the safer side

Is there no other way of winning a girl's heart over without pre-intimacy? I don't want to come off too strong or seem too needy by planting a kiss and she begins to think otherwise or categorise me as a perv... I just have cold feet doing this.

KingErnesto:


I'm not a typical f**k boy, I'm neither a saint and I've got raging hormones. In my previous relationship my girlfriend tried initiating the romance of which didn't really go down too well because I'm kinda spiritual.

Well go on ahead n be the nice guy n watch this on slip away

KingErnesto:

I'm not a typical f**k boy, I'm neither a saint and I've got raging hormones. In my previous relationship my girlfriend tried initiating the romance of which didn't really go down too well because I'm kinda spiritual.

Well go on ahead n be the nice guy n watch this one slip away
Modified

Quit being a pussy boy n tell her how you feel. Dayumm!

*bring out my belt and deliver 24 lashes on your back*

You boys must learn to muster the courage and common sense to handle very simple issues in your relationships and dealings with women without the need to importune nairalanders for advice. If you are this weak, how can you be the head and leader of your household?

Ask her plainly "I like you very much and I want you to be my girlfriend. Do you agree to be girlfriend from henceforth?" She must give you a direct, clear, and unmistakable answer. Her response must be either a Yes or No.

1) If her answer is indirect or ambiguous eg. "Okay", "Whatever", "Very well then" etc. Don't assume it's a "Yes" because she is leading you on and when you regrettably discover that she has just been using you, cheating on you, and draining you off your hard earned cash, she will defend herself, to your dismay, with "but I didn't agree to be your girlfriend." If she gives an indirect and ambiguous answer, press her one more time for a direct answer and if she persists in not giving a direct "Yes" or "No", take it as a "No" and bounce.

2) If she says "No", respect her answer and bounce. Never be desperate and try to force the issue.

3) If she says "Yes", then you have a relationship.

4) If she wants you to give her time, grant her a period of two days to think about it. If she says that 48 hrs is too short a period of time or she insists on a longer time period (definite or indefinite), still insist on that 48 hrs deadline. If her allotted time elapses without any direct answer from her, take it as a "No" and bounce. Never be desperate and try to force the issue.

5) If she ignores you, to any degree, and doesn't want to respond, take it as a "No" and bounce. If she is trying to change the subject or giving you hints that she is not interested or that she is taken, bounce.

Get some spine and sense.



Omar09

Martinez79:
*bring out my belt and deliver 24 lashes on your back*

You boys must learn to muster the courage and common sense to handle very simple issues in your relationships and dealings with women without the need to importune nairalanders for advice. If you are this weak, how can you be the head and leader of your household?

Ask her plainly "I like you very much and I want you to be my girlfriend. Do you agree to be girlfriend from henceforth?" She must give you a direct, clear, and unmistakable answer. Her response must be either a Yes or No.

1) If her answer is indirect or ambiguous eg. "Okay", "Whatever", "Very well then" etc. Don't assume it's a "Yes" because she is leading you on and when you regrettably discover that she has just been using you, cheating on you, and draining you off your hard earned cash, she will defend herself, to your dismay, with "but I didn't agree to be your girlfriend." If she gives an indirect and ambiguous answer, press her one more time for a direct answer and if she persists in not giving a direct "Yes" or "No", take it as a "No" and bounce.

2) If she says "No", respect her answer and bounce. Never be desperate and try to force the issue.

3) If she says "Yes", then you have a relationship.

4) If she wants you to give her time, grant her a period of two days to think about it. If she says that 48 hrs is too short a period of time or she insists on a longer time period (definite or indefinite), still insist on that 48 hrs deadline. If her allotted time elapses without any direct answer from her, take it as a "No" and bounce. Never be desperate and try to force the issue.

Get some spine.



Omar09

Right after I modified my post I just saw yours to be the exact of what I typed. Except mine is shorter and doesn't have the "what to do if she says No."

....

Omar09:


Right after I modified my post I just saw yours to be the exact of what I typed. Except mine is shorter.

I just added a fifth possibility.

Akinbahm:

Brotherly, make I burst ur brain. if u dare open up to her by requesting her hand in relationship she would start manipulating u (capital NO would b her answer) unless she want to tie u down with marriage.
Never u ask her for dating relationship. Just ask her to come over to ur side for lunch, follow d rhythm btw u pple and make move by planting a soft kiss on her lips chill a bit nd read her countenance if she consent to the kissing draw her closer for deep kissing never rush down to her pant step by step make one goes far. From there start acting like her boyfriend with freestyle and don't take it 3 personal till it get to ur advantage...

I don't want to fool myself neither do I want to play games. I feel the emboldened are for those who just want to be sex mates, other than that ,there's no need to define the relationship or ask her to be your girlfriend. A girl that would turn me down doesn't know what she wants or rather doesn't want me. My problem is initiating the convo that would lead defining what we mean to each other... I dont have a problem kissing her, but I don't want things to change between us either , and that's my fear .

Martinez79:
*bring out my belt and deliver 24 lashes on your back*

You boys must learn to muster the courage and common sense to handle very simple issues in your relationships and dealings with women without the need to importune nairalanders for advice. If you are this weak, how can you be the head and leader of your household?

Ask her plainly "I like you very much and I want you to be my girlfriend. Do you agree to be girlfriend from henceforth?" She must give you a direct, clear, and unmistakable answer. Her response must be either a Yes or No.

1) If her answer is indirect or ambiguous eg. "Okay", "Whatever", "Very well then" etc. Don't assume it's a "Yes" because she is leading you on and when you regrettably discover that she has just been using you, cheating on you, and draining you off your hard earned cash, she will defend herself, to your dismay, with "but I didn't agree to be your girlfriend." If she gives an indirect and ambiguous answer, press her one more time for a direct answer and if she persists in not giving a direct "Yes" or "No", take it as a "No" and bounce.

2) If she says "No", respect her answer and bounce. Never be desperate and try to force the issue.

3) If she says "Yes", then you have a relationship.

4) If she wants you to give her time, grant her a period of two days to think about it. If she says that 48 hrs is too short a period of time or she insists on a longer time period (definite or indefinite), still insist on that 48 hrs deadline. If her allotted time elapses without any direct answer from her, take it as a "No" and bounce. Never be desperate and try to force the issue.

5) If she ignores you, to any degree, and doesn't want to respond, take it as a "No" and bounce. If she is trying to change the subject or giving you hints that she is not interested or that she is taken, bounce.


Omar09

Whilst reading this, I had some quick relief... But still, it won't be as easy as I have just read or pre meditated. Nevertheless, I have to summon the courage to do so.

KingErnesto:



I don't want to fool myself neither do I want to play games. I feel the emboldened are for those who just want to be sex mates, other than that ,there's no need to define the relationship or ask her to be your girlfriend. A girl that would turn me down doesn't know what she wants or rather doesn't want me. My problem is initiating the convo that would lead defining what we mean to each other... I dont have a problem kissing her, but I don't want things to change between us either , and that's my fear .

The greatest fear is actually the fear of the unknown. And the beauty of life is exceeding the limits of The Fear of the Unknown. You do not have control over how things work. Man always make the mistake of controlling things that can't be controlled and trying to predict the result of something without actually taking action. Come out of that shell of yours, I'm not saying you have sex with her as you do not want such, all I am saying is stop predicting things, stop having control over things and most of all embrace change. She could say yes to your request but I want to let you know that you yourself will never know unless you try.
If and when you try, place it in your mind, memorize all the time, sing it all day She saying yes does not mean she is irreplaceable, the moment she is not giving you what you want, unto the next one ese

Martinez79

KingErnesto:



I don't want to fool myself neither do I want to play games. I feel the emboldened are for those who just want to be sex mates, other than that ,there's no need to define the relationship or ask her to be your girlfriend. A girl that would turn me down doesn't know what she wants or rather doesn't want me. My problem is initiating the convo that would lead defining what we mean to each other... I dont have a problem kissing her, but I don't want things to change between us either , and that's my fear .

Bro, I understand ur plight u don't want to be seen as a fuckboy u want a more direct relationship(serious one) if so then follow the step that's my post h quoted...

Akinbahm:

Bro, I understand ur plight u don't want to be seen as a fuckboy u want a more direct relationship(serious one) if so then follow the step that's my post h quoted...

Alright bro...Thanks a lot...

Omar09:


The greatest fear is actually the fear of the unknown. And the beauty of life is exceeding the limits of The Fear of the Unknown. You do not have control over how things work. Man always make the mistake of controlling things that can't be controlled and trying to predict the result of something without actually taking action. Come out of that shell of yours, I'm not saying you have sex with her as you do not want such, all I am saying is stop predicting things, stop having control over things and most of all embrace change. She could say yes to your request but I want to let you know that you yourself will never know unless you try.
If and when you try, place it in your mind, memorize all the time, sing it all day She saying yes does not mean she is irreplaceable, the moment she is not giving you what you want, unto the next one ese

Hmmm... Very much logical just as someone told me to read my signature...

Thanks alot...

KingErnesto:




Whilst reading this, I had some quick relief... But still, it won't be as easy as I have just read or pre meditated. Nevertheless, I have to summon the courage to do so.

Why are you being timid? What's the worst that could happen? Call her and tell her or invite her to your place, sit her down, and tell her. It is not hard except you are a weak man. She is just another human being and no more special than you. You will probably be the one doing the spending so why be timid? It's not good for a man to behave the way you are behaving. Man up. When you tell her, get back to me.



Omar09

Those saying u should ask her direct to b ur girlfriend.. Let me ask u dis question in movies av u seen the guy doing dese things..asking her direct.. What day do is just take are out make her feel special and create romance den go for d kiss

Martinez79:
Why are you being timid? What's the worst that could happen? Call her and tell her or invite her to your place, sit her down, and tell her. It is not hard except you are a weak man. She is just another human being and no more special than you. You will probably be the one doing the spending so why be timid? It's not good for a man to behave the way you are behaving. Man up. When you tell her, get back to me[.

Alright bro, I will...

enesi009:
Those saying u should ask her direct to b ur girlfriend.. Let me ask u dis question in movies av u seen the guy doing dese things..asking her direct.. What day do is just take are out make her feel special and create romance den go for d kiss

On a second thought... We've taken the "movies" to be our reality and we forget that these guys are just acting . I think i make her feel special in many ways, other than resorting to kissing her for a start (I don't have a problem with this) . In reality, I've seen relationships that started without a kiss , and eventually waxed stronger.

Not all girls might react the same way. In same movies , some girls will slap the guy for disrespecting her because he reached for a kiss , or things might change between them both. If the atmosphere is set and right ,I know I can't be stopped . I will be bold to the needful when the opportunity presents itself. Thanks although...

KingErnesto:



Alright bro, I will...

No problem. I will be waiting.

KingErnesto:



I don't want to fool myself neither do I want to play games. I feel the emboldened are for those who just want to be sex mates, other than that ,there's no need to define the relationship or ask her to be your girlfriend. A girl that would turn me down doesn't know what she wants or rather doesn't want me. My problem is initiating the convo that would lead defining what we mean to each other... I dont have a problem kissing her, but I don't want things to change between us either , and that's my fear .

Not every kiss leads to sex bro.
Just read your signature.

enesi009:
Those saying u should ask her direct to b ur girlfriend.. Let me ask u dis question in movies av u seen the guy doing dese things..asking her direct.. What day do is just take are out make her feel special and create romance den go for d kiss

KingErnesto, don't listen to this advice. It's an absurd advice. Hollywood and reality are very different. Follow what I have told you and I will be waiting for your feedback.

Brother, abeg, are you a virgin? If not, how come you can't recognize very very bright green light?

You want her to literally ask you to fûck her?

enesi009:
d greatest mistake u do is to ask her out.. Just start acting like d boyfriend... Neva u ask her out and make her invest in u by making luv to her dats d greatest investment ment to own her

So having sex with a lady means you've owned her Lol very funny reasoning though

Newboss:
Brother, abeg, are you a virgin? If not, how come you can't recognize very very bright green light?

You want her to literally ask you to fûck her?

Must everything be about sex with you guys? Don't u know sex spoils stuff?

Sex ain't any validation for relationship pls.

AwkaetitiBabe:
Must everything be about sex with you guys? Don't u know sex spoils stuff?

Sex ain't any validation for relationship pls.

Yeah, sex spoils stuff until a man fûcked a woman and you were born. Sure, sex has spoilt something.

Sex is a beautiful and natural something. Stop making it look "spiritual".

fool.. if you like go ask he out, you will just destroy everything... continue acting like her boyfriend.. and when next she comes, make a move on her.. kiss her and cuddle her

Richnerd69:
Do you love her? If you do then go ahead to ask her out bro...The least she can say is "no". You wont die, Man up.

Please, don't ever ask a woman out in this life. It's the greatest mistake of all time. There is a way to do it 100% nice guys don't know.

I didn't read the op's post, but whatever he does, he shouldn't be a pushover or Mr. Nice Guy.

KingErnesto:



I'm beginning to and i like her alot.

I really appreciate the fact that you Know the difference between love and likeness....
He mean say anything wey i tell u now go sink for ur head......


I will advice you to ask yourself some questions...do u know this lady?....are u cool with the fact that she is older than you?...ask yourself some questions.... be logical...don't jump into her.....
All wat u wrote up there shows he just dey na shakk you just like every other relationship wey spoil but started well.......
Ain't saying u shouldn't ask her out...but be logical rather than emotional...

There is this girl I liked back then in NYSC...but as much as I do like her...I sat myself down to ask some questions....and I noticed there isn't a future for us..even though I liked her ...

Except u just want to chop and run ...abeg think through

iLegendd:


Please, don't ever ask a woman out in this life. It's the greatest mistake of all time. There is a way to do it 100% nice guys don't know.

I didn't read the op's post, but whatever he does, he shouldn't bea push over or Mr. Nice Guy.

I'm neither a fan of asking ladies out. The op seems like he wants a serious relationship, he likely has a code, hence, he wants to define it at first beforehand.

You can elaborate a little more or be a bit explicit with the bolded texts.

Richnerd69:


I'm neither a fan of asking ladies out. The op seems like he wants a serious relationship, he likely has a code, hence, he wants to define it at first beforehand.

You can elaborate a little more or be a bit explicit with the bolded texts.

NEVER YOU (him) define a relationship, it will define itself without saying a single word. In business you need to talk, but in dating, you don't need to talk, but nonverbally project things to desired outcome.

I no longer elaborate things about relationship because I have handled it hundreds of times and have saved thousands of men from friendzone, dating and marriage hell, etc. So, it's kinda boring to me nowadays. One of the reasons I didn't even read what the OP wrote because all these relationship things are simple — I'm tired of solving simple problems.

Luckily, I have put all my wisdom about relationship in books and you can download and read the free version here https://shop.wetclef.com/blog/2019/05/30/download-mr-friendzone/

Starz825:


I really appreciate the fact that you Know the difference between love and likeness....
He mean say anything wey i tell u now go sink for ur head......


I will advice you to ask yourself some questions...do u know this lady?....are u cool with the fact that she is older than you?...ask yourself some questions.... be logical...don't jump into her.....
All wat u wrote up there shows he just dey na shakk you just like every other relationship wey spoil but started well.......
Ain't saying u shouldn't ask her out...but be logical rather than emotional...

There is this girl I liked back then in NYSC...but as much as I do like her...I sat myself down to ask some questions....and I noticed there isn't a future for us..even though I liked her ...

Except u just want to chop and run ...abeg think through

She might not be my dream woman, but I like her enough to want to date her regardless of both our ages . I think the essence of dating is to get to know each other so well, in and out, and that includes compatibility check and our tolerance levels for certain things and each other... Eventually, she could turn out to be the woman I want to spend my life with, but I can't say thesame for her, because things could go sideways and life/sh*t happens too. But I want things to work.

KingErnesto:
We've been friends for 2months now and we've only hung out thrice, at my place only , tho we belong to a mutual association and we often see.

She agrees to come over without hesistation.
when ever i say i want to see her, maybe in 4days time, she would rather make plans to come over the following day ... And she keeps me company for hours without complaining. We gist, eat , laugh and have fun together ...
I never made a move to touch her nor cuddle her for once, i gave her that respect and now i want to define our friendship/relationship...We've hugged a few times and she held me the night i took her out on a eat out and walk .

A certain time, she asked me a question and asked for my take , she painted a scenario where a girl who is older than the guy decides to like him to want to date him for the mean time, and these two belong to a mutual association...
I didn't want to raise or deduce a false impression, but i sensed she was passing a message. I could be wrong. But she's older than i am a little.

On call yesterday, she told me she doesnt keep close friends and she doesnt like much friends, she likes her privacy and all. But she said its not the same with me, and then i moved on to ask her what was i to her , immediately she paused and then stammered for seconds, like she was searching for the right words to refer me, and then she eventually said, "you're dear to me".

Should i ask her out already? Or have i been friendzoned?

What do you do for a living? What does she do for a living ?

Pardon my asking but I have my reasons

Ask her out and she is gone.

Better start acting as boyfriend & mk her invest in u