sweetmelanin:
OP I understand how you are feeling... and trust me, as you get older, it will affect your sex life in devastating ways.
I know the love isn't there anymore but do you at least like him as a person? If so, you guys can still live together in friendship. There are marriages out there like that (mine inclusive)... sometimes it's hard to walk away from a marriage when there isn't a " tangible " reason like domestic violence, cheating etc... society can be so judgemental and it really sucks. I totally get you dear.

thanks sis

Ariza:
I read a thread here sometimes ago where Men were advised to marry and learn to love those who love them and only use and dump those they love.I asked how does one learn to love but my question was left unanswered, the ones who tried to answer only danced around it. No procedure or How to was provided and I laughed. How men bask judiciously in so much ignorance amuse me! They believe women learn to love so they can do it too.But only the wise one would ask how women easily divert this so called love on their children as soon as they are born neglecting the fathers. Was the love ever there?


The truth is you can never learn to love, you can only learn to appreciate.Love is not something you can create but Gratitude, you can. The misconception comes when people mix up love and gratitude. Contrary to what we see movies like a man learning to love the woman he was force to marry, No! he only learned to appreciate and live with the woman after his brain has been reconfigured by a terrible situation that might have caused him to lose the Good woman.

Op, you can't learn to love. You can only learn to appreciate, learn to be with and learn to accept your Man. In this case, look at the positive sides of things, compare his good qualities to what others do not have and accept him. I wish you luck.

How can you be grateful without love ? How can you show appreciation without love? Only he who has encountered love can really be grateful. If a word is being used repeatedly soon it's meaning and implication will be forgotten such is the case of love.
Love is the foundation upon which humanity is created, it is the essence of man. Love is a fruit of the spirit and never a state of mind. It is deeply rooted in our being.
Love is not an emotion but a very state of being......Love is totality, the ultimate truth and the absolute. Love knows no division but unity, everything is unified through love.

The first step towards finding love is self discovery...Watch if your heart is functioning, so many individuals have lost their hearts to the inferior by depending on their minds.When the heart becomes pure only love is what remains. When there is no any dust upon the surface of the heart, love is what happens. The truth is that many of us don't know how to love because we have never loved ourself.

hightempo:
How can you be grateful without love ? How can you show appreciation without love? Only he who has encountered love can really be grateful. If a word is being used repeatedly soon it's meaning and implication will be forgotten such is the case of love.
Love is the foundation upon which humanity is created, it is the essence of man. Love is a fruit of the spirit and never a state of mind. It is deeply rooted in our being.
Love is not an emotion but a very state of being......Love is totality, the ultimate truth and the absolute. Love knows no division but unity, everything is unified through love.

The first step towards finding love is self discovery...Watch if your heart is functioning, so many individuals have lost their hearts to the inferior by depending on their minds.When the heart becomes pure only love is what remains. When there is no any dust upon the surface of the heart, love is what happens. The truth is that many of us don't know how to love because we have never loved ourself.

There is a difference between Love and Gratitude. You can be grateful to a person but does that mean you are in love or you love that person? Gratuity is an expression of gratefulness for something done or help rendered While Love is an expression of endearment towards a being without a natural cause.Feeling grateful is different from feeling in love.Sir, 'I am grateful' is different from 'I love you'.


You are right, Love is the fruit of the spirit , it is the foundation earth was created on.As a matter of fact, God is love.And it takes the presence of God in a marriage for love to be fully experienced. But how many people are connected to the source of Love which is God? May God help us. Dear merit1988 please seek God and invite Jesus into your home.Love will be restored.

merit1988:
i guess u don't understand that when love doesn't flow in a marriage, everything becomes boring

This thinking is why you will keep on opening these threads and not get solutions.

This looks new to me

Does this apply in Polygamous family too??

You know, sometimes 2nd wife spice things up

crackhaus:

This thinking is why you will keep on opening these threads and not get solutions.

ok oh... continue investigating me I'v gotten the advices I need from Wise minds...so I don't think ur sarcasm is needed anyway

PrincessNZ:


You said love is not permanent in any condition and that made your opinion nonsense.

Once more, love is permanent when two people marry for unselfish reasons.

I think what he meant is that you can be filled with so much love and adoration for your husband today, and tomorrow feel such anger and resentment towards him. In that regard, I agree that love is not permanent.

It is unrealistic to think that you are your husbands will be head over heel, for every minute of your marriage. No matter how much in love you are, there will be times you will doubt your decision to marry your spouse. There will be times you will wish you made another choice. WHat is important is that when those times come, remember that the grass is NEVER greener on the other side. Whatever the 'issues' are, they can be resolved with time, patience and understanding.

Marriage is not a fairytale, even if God himself pointed the spouse to you.

merit1988:
most times, it's not how long ,but how well... pple date for years b4 marriage and still end up getting divorced...that's what I'm trying had to avoid

You need to provide more details. People are wondering why you are struggling to find love in your marriage. Did you marry a stranger? Did you marry someone you dated for so long that you began to take somethings for granted and treat him as a boyfriend rather than a husband?

I wonder why you made reference to your virginity? Do you see it as a price? And think you are above any wrong-doing?

Marriage is HARD WORK. . .

Are you working hard to make your marriage work? Or do you think it should be magical because he disvirgined you?

merit1988:
ok oh... continue investigating me I'v gotten the advices I need from Wise minds... so I don't think ur sarcasm is needed anyway

I'm glad... At least there'll be no more threads from you on this same issue.

merit1988:
I got married as a young virgin...probably didnt understand what love was all about then....I've never really felt love or being loved in my marriage..coupled with some other marriage issues..I wear the shoes and I know where it hurts...all I need is advices on how to build my love life and not yabs pls...it's very hurtful

Read books about love. And websites. Start doing deliberate romantic things to your husband, and be patient. He'll gradually begin to reciprocate. Make your presence bring happiness to him. Romantic acts will gradually nurture your love. You're already married to each other so you guys just have to try to make it work. I hope he's also an understanding man and doesn't give you problems. Try to find common grounds and interests where you both gist and laugh. Buy some board games and play. And have sex more. Do these things gradually, don't force them on him. Share his interests too. Remember he may just be comfortable with the way things are now but it's you who's feeling the pain, so don't force and spoil things. Learn to seduce him. And if he's the type that is open to direct talk, without feeling offended, then talk directly about your feelings to him.
And I hope you're not a drama queen, if so just change, it's a total turn off. Also kindly Tell him anything you feel he needs to change about himself. Have your solid reasons ready.

merit1988:
i guess u don't understand that when love doesn't flow in a marriage, everything becomes boring

Simply look for ways to spice up your marriage. Switch things up. Be spontaneous. Dying flames can be re-ignited.

merit1988:
I got married as a young virgin...probably didnt understand what love was all about then....I've never really felt love or being loved in my marriage..coupled with some other marriage issues..I wear the shoes and I know where it hurts...all I need is advices on how to build my love life and not yabs pls...it's very hurtful

You are nothing but a losed woman. After seeking for attention on Nairaland's dating section, you are here claiming that your husband doesn't love you. Your phone number ,is all ,over dating section. You kept cheating on your husband with small kids on this forum. You are a disgrace to woman hood. Your husband deserve a better woman. I pray he send your Olosho Ass parking.
Trash.

crackhaus:

I'm glad... At least there'll be no more threads from you on this same issue.

You dey mind her. It seems she's tactically using the threads she opens all over Nairaland to seek for attention and to market herself. But all the men on Nairaland are wiser. We know a retired Olosho when we see one. . Na her husband I dey pitty self.

Almaigaa:



You are nothing but a losed woman. After seeking for attention on Nairaland's dating section, you are here claiming that your husband doesn't love you. Your phone number ,is all ,over dating section. You kept cheating on your husband with small kids on this forum. You are a disgrace to woman hood. Your husband deserve a better woman. I pray he send your Olosho Ass parking.
Trash.

it's a pity that you can speak to me in such tone.....I have nothing to say to u than THANK YOU SO MUCH

crackhaus:

I'm glad... At least there'll be no more threads from you on this same issue.

yes sir...u can see that I'm no longer commenting... thanks so much for ur concern

merit1988:
yes sir...u can see that I'm no longer commenting... thanks so much for ur concern

struggling with love or struggling with acceptance!!!

Tosinex:
struggling with love or struggling with acceptance!!!

I really don't know what to think sir ...but all will be well hopefully

merit1988:
I really don't know what to think sir ...but all will be well hopefully

You see your life, you are just confused. Abeg, go home and love your husband.

Na wa oo. What's going on here?

Almaigaa:



You see your life, you are just confused. Abeg, go home and love your husband.

I won't reply u again after this....I'm sure you know that I know u too well,with all ur negativity and sentimental posts here.. u can continue to rant.when ur done, u'll give up on my case.. ur opinions doesn't matter to me at all sir....thank you

Bighead9:
Na wa oo. What's going on here?

still the same person...u can't fool me with ur multiple identity..I'm too smart for ur pranks sir... thank you

merit1988:
still the same person...u can't full me with ur multiple identity..I[b]'m too smart for ur pranks[/b] sir... thank you

Madam smart lady, how come you are not smart enough to make your marriage work?

Almaigaa:



Madam smart lady, how come you are not smart enough to make your marriage work?

I'm wondering why my marriage issues is such a big bone in ur throat....ur already crying more than the mourner ...weldone sir...when ur done here,u can go and look for another thread to showcase ur immaturity and stupidity sir.... thank you

Almaigaa:



You are nothing but a losed woman. After seeking for attention on Nairaland's dating section, you are here claiming that your husband doesn't love you. Your phone number ,is all ,over dating section. You kept cheating on your husband with small kids on this forum. You are a disgrace to woman hood. Your husband deserve a better woman. I pray he send your Olosho Ass parking.
Trash.

please take a course on proper speech management.

Mind your speech online ,because not everybody is as tough as you to absolve insults and blames.

If what op typed isn't fabricated,then i must admire her courage in seeking for help.
Coming out open isn't easy.

stinflame:


please take a course on proper speech management.

Mind your speech online ,because not everybody is as tough as you to absolve insults and blames.

If what op typed isn't fabricated,then i must admire her courage in seeking for help.
Coming out open isn't easy.

thanks alot for this ma/sir.....I choose to ignore his sarcasm

merit1988:
I really don't know what to think sir ...but all will be well hopefully

Amen, so shall it be!

Kindly reply your PM. Thanks

CodeBlooded:
Kindly reply your PM. Thanks

I don't attend to random PMs sir...if u HV any advice, drop it here .thank you

merit1988:
I got married as a young virgin...probably didnt understand what love was all about then....I've never really felt love or being loved in my marriage..coupled with some other marriage issues..I wear the shoes and I know where it hurts...all I need is advices on how to build my love life and not yabs pls...it's very hurtful

What is love to you?

What are some of the issues you have?

I believe in romantic, passionate between a man and a woman.

And I believe it can last for ever if properly nurtured and cultivated.

And I do not think the love triangles of zee world are romantic.

Cc: Acidosis

merit1988:
I got married as a young virgin...probably didnt understand what love was all about then....I've never really felt love or being loved in my marriage..coupled with some other marriage issues..I wear the shoes and I know where it hurts...all I need is advices on how to build my love life and not yabs pls...it's very hurtful

All u need is to love urself more

You need to be dominated and at the same time cared for emotionally, what you lack is fire in your lov3 life , you have to search your husbands bearing and see where his attention has veered to and follow up, there are things I can't tell you here but ........