He Cheated And Blames Me - Family - Nairaland
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My Wife Of About 4 Years Blames Me After I Caught Her Cheating / Good or bad parenting: Young Boy Steals Meat And Blames Devil For It / Sex Once In 3 Months, Lasts 30 Secs Yet He Blames Me For Not Giving Him A Child (2) (3) (4)
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| He Cheated And Blames Me by Zainab20198(f): 2:10pm On Oct 24, 2019 |
I recently found out my husband of 5 years has been cheating on me , he accidentally left his Facebook account open on my laptop and I read everything. He told this girl he loves her and want to spend the rest of his life with her, I confronted him and his side of things is I have been pushing him away to care for our very high needs 2 years old triplets sons and my sons needs constant attention , it’s very tiring working , caring for the kids and keeping the house clean with no house help. I know I have my faults , and all my energy goes into the kids and trying to keep the households running , so there isn’t much left at the end of day. I’m always tired and once the kids are sleeping I’m far to tired to do anything ... like sex. He knows all this yet I’m at fault. I feel heart broken , I try to talk to him and he just blames me , even if I’m in wrong , how is cheating justified by what I have done ? I don’t know what to do ? 3 Likes |
| Re: He Cheated And Blames Me by Nobody: 2:21pm On Oct 24, 2019 |
Three posts on this screen shot. On all of them you gave one advice...... Divorce. Follow your advice. Bye 34 Likes 4 Shares
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| Re: He Cheated And Blames Me by StPete: 2:27pm On Oct 24, 2019 |
One thing most women don’t know is that the moment your attention totally shifts to the kids and place them on high priority, you’re gradually losing your husband. The neglect we feel even though society does not expect us to lament is much more than mere words can describe. Always consider your husband first as you both are living your lives while the kids will grow up and live theirs with their own family. 14 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: He Cheated And Blames Me by olabrinks(f): 2:30pm On Oct 24, 2019 |
Well it’s up to you to decide if you want to sit down and communicate with him so he can help you around the house. You are not a machine you cannot cook and clean, take care of the kids all by yourself without help. If he is not willing to compromise and work on his marriage then it’s up to you if want to deteriorate slowly and kill yourself for the sake of the ‘mrs’ title. It takes two to make a marriage work not one. 14 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: He Cheated And Blames Me by olabrinks(f): 2:32pm On Oct 24, 2019 |
Please it takes two to make a marriage work. Women do not have five hands. If you know as a husband, you see your wife stressed out and she’s not giving attention to you as much, please do the needful and help her out. A stress-free woman is a happy woman. StPete: 33 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: He Cheated And Blames Me by StPete: 2:49pm On Oct 24, 2019 |
olabrinks: This is going out of context. Diverting attention to your kids does not necessarily mean been overworked. It simply means your kids appear to mean more than the husband. Most times, these happens to women who consider marriage simply for child bearing. 15 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: He Cheated And Blames Me by Omojudy: 3:24pm On Oct 24, 2019 |
Shibaraba:Relax bro, why your body Dey hot? 7 Likes |
| Re: He Cheated And Blames Me by Omojudy: 3:27pm On Oct 24, 2019 |
Zainab20198:I am sorry for your pain Sis. And congratulations on your triplets, never feel they are anything but good news. Even those that are ttc still have their men cheat on them for one excuse or the other, so know this, it’s not your fault that he decided to take his marriage vows lightly. Moving on, forgive him, pray for him and talk with him. Both of you together can get through this. Lastly what he does or does not do should not define you. Do the right thing by your heart. Talk to me in pm if you wish to. 6 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: He Cheated And Blames Me by UjuJoan2: 3:35pm On Oct 24, 2019 |
Zainab20198: This is heartbreaking. Your husband is supposed to worship you and thank you everyday for all you do for him and the family. . . I wonder what is wrong with men of nowadays. Please never ever blame yourself for his indiscretion. Focus on your kids and try to ignore him. It is well. 6 Likes |
| Re: He Cheated And Blames Me by Jayslicky: 4:18pm On Oct 24, 2019 |
 If you want to divorce, do it. If you want to still stay in the marriage do it, let him continue cheating on you. You are a grown woman, the final decision lies in your hands. 6 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: He Cheated And Blames Me by Uchenaija: 4:19pm On Oct 24, 2019 |
Shibaraba: Lol, guy you're wicked.  FBI, Nairaland branch. It's easy to be the one giving advice Lord. I won't subscribe to divorce, although it's her decision to take. Sometimes it's better to fill up the crack than to pull down a whole building and build a new one. This crack is the man. Is the man willing to change, to be faithful? Then seal the crack and move on. How are you sure the next man won't be the same? Find a man/woman who fears God, he'd give you honour. Sorry, I'm not speaking to you, but to Zainab20198 I just quoted you cos what you said was painfully hilarious. 3 Likes |
| Re: He Cheated And Blames Me by enoqueen: 4:33pm On Oct 24, 2019 |
Shibaraba: Hope you are aware that you are wicked 1 Like |
| Re: He Cheated And Blames Me by 24kmagic: 4:46pm On Oct 24, 2019 |
Your moniker sounds like you're a muslim. If you are, then I don't think there's much you can do cos polygamy is allowed in Islam. You're lucky it's still at the wooing stage, so you can still convince him to let her go, but it might be a little bit difficult. But if you're a non Muslim, just sit down and have some talks with him and you're back to normal. But you sef, try de give am even if na one round. 2 Likes |
| Re: He Cheated And Blames Me by yeyeosoronga: 4:50pm On Oct 24, 2019 |
You should move out of the house for a week to clear your head, and leave the children alone with him. Afterall, he is their father. Let him look after his children too. It's so annoying when I hear men say their wives are focused on their children. The only reason it appears the women are focused on their children is simply because the men don't do anything for these children, and mothers feeling like superwoman will step in and start doing everything. Let him wake up in the mornings to bath them, feed them and get them ready for school too, afterall you both work. Infact, it's better you have a rota on who looks after the children and when. Let everybody be tired and exhausted together. If he knows he's the one picking them from school, and he has to sort out their homework afterwards, he won't have time or energy to keep concubines. Infact, change their school to somewhere close to his place of work so he can drop them in the mornings, pick them up after school and they'll all meet you at home for dinner. My advice to mothers, allow these men do somethings for their children please. Insist they wake up middle of the night to feed the babies, let them bath their children too. The men doing these things in their homes don't have 2 heads. 23 Likes |
| Re: He Cheated And Blames Me by MrBrownJay1(m): 5:15pm On Oct 24, 2019 |
arrant nonsense... no matter how hard wifey's life is/was... if the hubby indeed was pushed away, he could have told wifey what he was about to do...instead of sneaking like a rat to cheat..... and pretending that everything is ok. the only person to blame for his cheating his HIM... divorce the rat! 15 Likes
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| Re: He Cheated And Blames Me by yeyeosoronga: 5:17pm On Oct 24, 2019 |
StPete: It means exactly being overworked. Or do you think the mothers enjoy the children's martinee and all that noise, neediness, fighting amongst themselves etc, when they spend more time with those children? How can you have the strength for anything else if you don't have help with your children and chores? These children are still dependent. Most mothers would love a break where they can go somewhere private with no children, but only few have that luxury. These women are overworked. Screaming after children who are running and scattering everywhere, climbing windows and wanting to jump down from the first floor of the house. Its serious hard work keeping up with children because they can actually harm themselves if unsupervised. D'banj's case comes to mind when he lost his 1st son. This has nothing to do with diverting attention from their father, as you even need extra attention from the fathers to monitor children.These children need to be watched almost 24/7, otherwise they will harm themselves. You clean up after them 24/7 too. How sweet would it be if it wasn't only the mothers doing all this. Won't it be great if the father wakes up early to bath and prepare them for school, ensure they eat, uniforms ironed, shoes polished, lunch bag packed, drop them off at school and then go to his own workplace. Afterwards, he picks them up after school and then they go home together and do their home work. And trust Naija schools, you will wonder at the kind of textbook homework they give children. One main factor the husband was able to cheat na becasue he has too much time on his hands, I swear. Triplets kwa? 19 Likes |
| Re: He Cheated And Blames Me by thorpido(m): 5:32pm On Oct 24, 2019 |
Zainab20198:You are not to blame for the cheating. However,you indulged your husband too much by acting like a superwoman doing almost all chores.He has too little to do. From the beginning,you push chores to him in the house.Let him take care of babies too,bathe them,bottle feed them... Let him make you reserve some energy for the intimacy he wants(let him do henceforth). He has no excuse for cheating.He should have spoken about the lack of attention so you could work something out. It is left for you to decide to forgive him if he is indeed repentant and you both work towards improving the marriage. 14 Likes |
| Re: He Cheated And Blames Me by amtheone(m): 11:36pm On Oct 24, 2019 |
UjuJoan2: Ahh Madam Joan, the man went cheating because he was ignored by his wife. And u still advised her to keep ignoring him. Hmmmmm, u want the man to pack out. Lol. So many people are shouting divorcé. Madam no divorce ur husband. Give him attention that he asks for. 1 Like |
| Re: He Cheated And Blames Me by Nobody: 11:55pm On Oct 24, 2019 |
What a senseless excuse. He should be remorseful and apologetic for cheating and breaking your marriage vows, not shift the blame towards you for something HE CHOSE to do. He is 200% responsible for his actions; do not allow him to blame you for it. 1 Like |
| Re: He Cheated And Blames Me by UjuJoan2: 12:52am On Oct 25, 2019 |
amtheone: That's the point, he didn't cheat because he was ignored. He cheated because he is a weak selfish being. Do you know what it means to care for 3 sons aged 2? Without help. Where on earth is she supposed to find the energy to be looking at his face? I have never seen this level of selfishness and wickedness in an individual. What effort has he made to ensure she's not too tired to spend time with him at the end of the day? Or did she impregnate herself? Did she buy the children from the market place without his consent? Did she force herself to have triplets? Will these little children cater for themselves? Or will she kill herself trying to make him happy? At least I have a husband na, I know how normal men behave. Truly the only thing I can think of is for her to keep ignoring him. No need to bother herself trying to please such a selfish and self centred Peron. 18 Likes |
| Re: He Cheated And Blames Me by Octopusssy(f): 2:01am On Oct 25, 2019 |
Zainab20198:Someone posted screenshots of you advising women to divorce cheating partners. Oya you sef follow the advice you have been giving people. If you don't divorce your husband then you are a very big hypocrite and one of the society's problems. Oya, we are awaiting feedback. Divorce your husband! 9 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: He Cheated And Blames Me by mejai(m): 6:32am On Oct 25, 2019 |
What is going on here? Madam, make out time out of your time and fu,ck your husband. Simple!!! Reduce your work on Fridays and use Fridays night to fu,ck the hell out of him till Saturday morning. Post-sex, both of you can do the remaining chores. As far as I concerned, sex is the problem. It is common with wives of these days to not yield to the sexual demands of their husbands. From pregnancy to taking care of kids, d man should go AWOL, ok o! Plan well!!! A married man within the range of 30- 55 yrs or more still has uncontrollable sexual urge. You want him to understand to keep calm cos u bore kids and working. Maybe na when una reach 70's, una go wan sex. Lol!! Pussy is fuc.king cheap these days. Las Las, get someone to live with u 2 Likes |
| Re: He Cheated And Blames Me by Richy4(m): 6:53am On Oct 25, 2019 |
I'm Sorry for what was going on in your marriage... having a kid is a chore not to talk of 3 @ the same time... though You made it sound like he was a house guest and not a father and member of the family. Doesn't he help out in the house? How did he create a time to chat on FB? I don't know why your man was this insensitive. Why he feels like he's the only one that deserves sex and u don't.. u are equally human and u needed that too but unfortunately he couldn't understand it because a lot of people were naturally selfish... You are a strong person to have found a voice to answer him instantly when he said something that stupid.. . This kinda situation doesn't deserve a response.. the response it needed was a stare.. you should have given him that look that can lower the temperature of the North Pole... If he is sensitive, he will understand... just let him help around the house... If he wants sex share the chores .. with that u will not be so tired to enjoy it too.. 3 Likes |
| Re: He Cheated And Blames Me by genq(m): 7:08am On Oct 25, 2019 |
Wonders shall never end on this forum  Madam OP, are you not the same person below vehemently advising your fellow woman to "divorced" her husband? How come you don't know what to do in your own situation? Smh. Zainab20198: 9 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: He Cheated And Blames Me by genq(m): 7:57am On Oct 25, 2019 |
Come to think of it, are you based abroad? It's very unusual that you don't have help especially with the special needs of your three sons - or is it that you cant afford help? Perhaps the situation of the kids is taking a toll on your husband - hence why he's seeking solace elsewhere (which is wrong I must add) I don't usually advocate for men to get involved in domestic duties, but in your case, your husband should be helpful around the house - raising special needs kids is no joke. Truth is, you cannot divorce him because he's probably responsible for the roof over your heads and you KNOW you cannot sustain yourself and those kids without his financial assistance - sorry if I sounded harsh in my comment above, just that you women like to form bravado online deceiving yourselves and telling other women to leave their husbands for trivial reasons - acting like you don't need a man - but what you the adviser is tolerating at home is much worse. 6 Likes |
| Re: He Cheated And Blames Me by ifyalways(f): 9:28am On Oct 25, 2019 |
You raise triplets and work with no help? You are a superwoman. I had twins and my eye see wiiiiiiiiiiiin however its spelt in their hands with a help. Madam,tell your husband you need a help-: either him or a paid one in the house. You cannot perform your motherly and wifely duties and still work with toddler triplets to boot, na you kill Jesus? Something has to give way. Stress kills. Your husband needs asides, you might break down yourself from stress, biko get a breather for your OWN sake. And there is no excuse for cheating. 10 Likes |
| Re: He Cheated And Blames Me by crackhaus: 10:45am On Oct 25, 2019 |
Shibaraba: Octopusssy: genq:   6 Likes |
| Re: He Cheated And Blames Me by mysticwarrior(m): 12:42pm On Oct 25, 2019 |
Zainab20198: Support your niece and her baby and as for the idiot of your husband, divorced him , yes divorced you , packed your stuffs and leave with your kids. God will provide for you and your children. You will be fine as a single mother than living with an idiot who cannot control his penis. Talking from experience. Message me if you want to chat more You must be a very wicked woman for advicing another woman to divorce her husband, now its your turn we are waiting for you to do the same 2 Likes |
| Re: He Cheated And Blames Me by Fountainofyouth(f): 1:25pm On Oct 25, 2019 |
StPete: Da hell!!! Do you know what it means to have 3 toddlers of same age, doing house chores with no maid and being a working class mother  And you don't see that as being overworked? You like to be biased or you just like to support your gender cos it suits you  she should neglect her triplets and face her horseband squarely abi? It is the same men that will insult the wife if she isn't taking good care of the kids, or if outsiders see how unkept they are, Wtf do you guys want really? Choose one, marriage with no kids so you can have her undivided attention OR marriage with kids who are still tender and needs full attention 7 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: He Cheated And Blames Me by amtheone(m): 1:39pm On Oct 25, 2019 |
Lol This life self. Do madam zainab dey support divorce. Oya na, table donn turn around. But on a serious note, people should be very careful on how they advise others. 1 Like |
| Re: He Cheated And Blames Me by KevinDein: 2:02pm On Oct 25, 2019 |
You just can't make this shiiiit up... LMAO. Can't take the advice they dish out. Who knew? 2 Likes
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| Re: He Cheated And Blames Me by yeyeosoronga: 2:25pm On Oct 25, 2019 |
Please, why are people calling the OP names because she advised another woman to divorce her husband? She has just come here to ask for advice too, and you can give yours eg divorce your husband, work on your marriage, give up your children for adoption so you can face your husband etc She still has the final say about the decision to take, but she just needs counsel and ideas from others. Secondly, circumstances are different.. I would also honestly advice divorce for a marriage where one of the partners sleeps with or gets pregnant for a relative of their spouse. It's a no-brainer, unless of course there are still certain circumstances where divorce may not be feasible. There are boundaries you should never cross, and relatives are one of such IMO so I don't think she's done bad by advocating divorce in such a situation. Every case should be judged individually with the surrounding circumstances at that time 3 Likes |
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