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Then It Dawned On Me, I Died In An Abusive Marriage - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Photo Of The Woman Who Died In A Car Accident While Chasing Her Cheating Husband / Are The Kids Good Enough Reason To Endure & Stay An Abusive Marriage? / Nigerian Lady Narrates How Her Father Saved Her From An Abusive Marriage (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Then It Dawned On Me, I Died In An Abusive Marriage by bukatyne(f): 3:43pm On Nov 01, 2019
mrwonlasewonie:
grin grin

Wickedt woman grin grin

Wetin I do na?

If someone is dying from 'domestic violence' in 2019 with all the awareness, whose fault?

Money? grin
Re: Then It Dawned On Me, I Died In An Abusive Marriage by bukatyne(f): 4:03pm On Nov 01, 2019
yazga:
Because majority of people acquiring the highest judicial position are men themselves. And that education does not guarantee being bereft of patriarchal values. There are core beliefs which are deeply ingrained in you since birth and no matter how much higher position you hold in academic sphere, those still remain ingrained. Moral policing and conservative patriarchal values remains one of them. As per SC criminalizing marital law will hurt the “institution of marriage”.Really?? ! “That women shall use the law for vengeance then!”

I can vouch from real life experiences that a huge majority of Indian women whom I have come across aren’t happy with their marital life. They have no other option or are “forced” to stay in those marriage because

Of societal pressure. They have no choice to decide for themselves.
They have nowhere to go because they are completely financially dependent on their husbands
The didn’t inherit anything from paternal side financially because after marriage girls were supposed to be and still considered “someone else’s property” .
Being almost disowned by family after marriage. Men’s home is her only home now. Her own home now is visitor’s paradise for her now!
Marital rape is being raised with much aggression now because women are now voicing for their rights. When today women have options to move out of abusive, incompatible marriages and self sustain themselves, why shouldn’t today. Today many women have options and hence they are demanding for themselves for what is wrong and right. Saying that in earlier times(probably in 90’s), marriages were more sacred is ignorance to the fullest. Most women had no options then, were reduced to household jobs. It was “thrust upon them , forced upon them”, and not out of “CHOICE”.

I have a brother whose wife despite being a Ph.D. chose to stay home. I never understood and often wondered how an educated person like her could choose to stay at home until I learnt that For whatever reason it is ,it was her “choice”. Having “choice” to decide for yourself and be supported with love and respect by your loved ones for what it true equality means. There is nothing bad in being a housewife if it come of healthy choices and not compulsion.That means if a man chose to stay home and wife works , he is supported with for it with respect(in and idol world!).Because , patriarchy harms as much men as women. See men who stay at home and how much they are catcalled or looked down upon.

Being financially independent doesn’t always mean living through a feminist lens. There have been cases that even being financially independent, women have no love or respect or empathy from their partners at home or in family. The whole idea of equality is to have right to make choices for one’s own life and be loved and supported from the other person unconditionally.

Most Women from 90’s never got this. I have relatives giving mental cancers whenever they open their mouth who believe god has made men more physically strong than women and hence they are superior to women. I have no second thoughts that the women in their lives would mostly be victims of their acts. Not just that. What happens inside bedrooms is a hush hush topic. Whose parents discuss their “sex life”! When did we asked women around and in ours lives if they ever did it unwillingly. “Sex” is a very private thing. Though people among today’s generation are getting open about it amongst each other , talking about it still confided around academic space mostly. I know I can still not talk to my mother about it. I may ever ask about the word “Sex” but not her own life revolving around it.

So it’s downright stupid to say that “it hurts the institution of marriage” until you have all facts , figures and stats in place from proper surveys. Find out how many women are really happy in their lives , was it willingly or forced upon things in their times(which used to be mostly an arrange marriage set up). Your myth will be busted.

I read an article where a girl returns back to her home after 2 months of her arrange marriage because her husband used to force himself on her and when she told it to her mother and sister. And to her surprise her mother rather scolded her that “why else her husband had married her. What does it means it hurts. We all do it. “It hurts us all few times”.It’s no reason to not be intimate with your husband. If you can’t satisfy him , give it to him or satisfy his “needs’, he will go somewhere else and that’s how she and only she and no one else will be responsible for her marriage failure.”(I will edit link of article if I found it) If you see the thoughts process here , elder women might have been meted out similar treatment for they are giving their daughters similar advises!!

If you can’t recognize marital rape , just simply declare that marriage does not something sacred for you as a symbol of love but rather life long sex slavery. Calling it sacrament is simply to fool others. People are more for themselves rather than saving someone else. They are more concerned with what if it’s a false case , blatantly ignoring the woes of those being victimized.

If asking for right and recognition for autonomy over one’s body and dignity hurts the institution of marriage so much , than such institutions should go down in shambles. This is about one’s body and the other person has to take permission before entering it. SC ruling shows how fragile the system it . Many may not like it but it does even matter because this is not about them , this is about those who are being slaved down in bedrooms just because somebody is physically not that strong as compared to other and you lack the basic human empathy to understand what love and consent means.

Chai!

I do long posts but embarassed embarassed embarassed embarassed embarassed embarassed embarassed

This consent goes both ways o!

While I agree that a lot of men and women have abused this, the right approach is not to yap about 'marital rape or whatever.'

It is to teach people the right thing which starts from the family unit.

How are the daughters trained? How are the sons trained?

Painful sex might not even be the husband's fault: it might be a psychological, mental or health issue.

The wife might also not be well lubricated because she is already approaching sex from a point of duty only and not excited about her man. It could also be he has hurt her a lot to get any joy from her.

Besides, women are not the only 'victims'. I know men who disrupted their schedule because their wives needed them sexually especially when they are trying for kids.

I know someone who had to reduce his physical activities cos his wife was complaining that he was always tired. She used to literally drag him then.

Men somehow seems to find a solution and not scream marital rape. undecided

1 Like

Re: Then It Dawned On Me, I Died In An Abusive Marriage by ImaIma1(f): 4:20pm On Nov 01, 2019
yazga:
Because majority of people acquiring the highest judicial position are men themselves. And that education does not guarantee being bereft of patriarchal values. There are core beliefs which are deeply ingrained in you since birth and no matter how much higher position you hold in academic sphere, those still remain ingrained. Moral policing and conservative patriarchal values remains one of them. As per SC criminalizing marital law will hurt the “institution of marriage”.Really?? ! “That women shall use the law for vengeance then!”

I can vouch from real life experiences that a huge majority of Indian women whom I have come across aren’t happy with their marital life. They have no other option or are “forced” to stay in those marriage because

Of societal pressure. They have no choice to decide for themselves.
They have nowhere to go because they are completely financially dependent on their husbands
The didn’t inherit anything from paternal side financially because after marriage girls were supposed to be and still considered “someone else’s property” .
Being almost disowned by family after marriage. Men’s home is her only home now. Her own home now is visitor’s paradise for her now!
Marital rape is being raised with much aggression now because women are now voicing for their rights. When today women have options to move out of abusive, incompatible marriages and self sustain themselves, why shouldn’t today. Today many women have options and hence they are demanding for themselves for what is wrong and right. Saying that in earlier times(probably in 90’s), marriages were more sacred is ignorance to the fullest. Most women had no options then, were reduced to household jobs. It was “thrust upon them , forced upon them”, and not out of “CHOICE”.

I have a brother whose wife despite being a Ph.D. chose to stay home. I never understood and often wondered how an educated person like her could choose to stay at home until I learnt that For whatever reason it is ,it was her “choice”. Having “choice” to decide for yourself and be supported with love and respect by your loved ones for what it true equality means. There is nothing bad in being a housewife if it come of healthy choices and not compulsion.That means if a man chose to stay home and wife works , he is supported with for it with respect(in and idol world!).Because , patriarchy harms as much men as women. See men who stay at home and how much they are catcalled or looked down upon.

Being financially independent doesn’t always mean living through a feminist lens. There have been cases that even being financially independent, women have no love or respect or empathy from their partners at home or in family. The whole idea of equality is to have right to make choices for one’s own life and be loved and supported from the other person unconditionally.

Most Women from 90’s never got this. I have relatives giving mental cancers whenever they open their mouth who believe god has made men more physically strong than women and hence they are superior to women. I have no second thoughts that the women in their lives would mostly be victims of their acts. Not just that. What happens inside bedrooms is a hush hush topic. Whose parents discuss their “sex life”! When did we asked women around and in ours lives if they ever did it unwillingly. “Sex” is a very private thing. Though people among today’s generation are getting open about it amongst each other , talking about it still confided around academic space mostly. I know I can still not talk to my mother about it. I may ever ask about the word “Sex” but not her own life revolving around it.

So it’s downright stupid to say that “it hurts the institution of marriage” until you have all facts , figures and stats in place from proper surveys. Find out how many women are really happy in their lives , was it willingly or forced upon things in their times(which used to be mostly an arrange marriage set up). Your myth will be busted.

I read an article where a girl returns back to her home after 2 months of her arrange marriage because her husband used to force himself on her and when she told it to her mother and sister. And to her surprise her mother rather scolded her that “why else her husband had married her. What does it means it hurts. We all do it. “It hurts us all few times”.It’s no reason to not be intimate with your husband. If you can’t satisfy him , give it to him or satisfy his “needs’, he will go somewhere else and that’s how she and only she and no one else will be responsible for her marriage failure.”(I will edit link of article if I found it) If you see the thoughts process here , elder women might have been meted out similar treatment for they are giving their daughters similar advises!!

If you can’t recognize marital rape , just simply declare that marriage does not something sacred for you as a symbol of love but rather life long sex slavery. Calling it sacrament is simply to fool others. People are more for themselves rather than saving someone else. They are more concerned with what if it’s a false case , blatantly ignoring the woes of those being victimized.

If asking for right and recognition for autonomy over one’s body and dignity hurts the institution of marriage so much , than such institutions should go down in shambles. This is about one’s body and the other person has to take permission before entering it. SC ruling shows how fragile the system it . Many may not like it but it does even matter because this is not about them , this is about those who are being slaved down in bedrooms just because somebody is physically not that strong as compared to other and you lack the basic human empathy to understand what love and consent means.


Such behaviour is usually bourne out of selfishness or a need to dominate or conquer the other person. 'How dare you keep your body from me when I paid your bride price?'.

So many belittle their wives and reduce them to nothing just for the sake of matrimony. The kind of dreadful and condescending words that come from such people will shake you.

Thankfully, women are becoming more aware and outspoken about these things.

There's so much a person can take.

7 Likes

Re: Then It Dawned On Me, I Died In An Abusive Marriage by mrwonlasewonie: 4:50pm On Nov 01, 2019
bukatyne:


Wetin I do na?

If someone is dying from 'domestic violence' in 2019 with all the awareness, whose fault?

Money? grin
do you know whether she's enjoying the rape? wink

She has a choice but she will rather whine and complain to online strangers,ok then,let's all be entertained grin
Re: Then It Dawned On Me, I Died In An Abusive Marriage by bukatyne(f): 5:01pm On Nov 01, 2019
mrwonlasewonie:
do you know whether she's enjoying the rape? wink

She has a choice but she will rather whine and complain to online strangers,ok then,let's all be entertained grin

From the grave grin

Never forget that cheesy

She is in charge of a shop and she couldn't build wealth to disappear if the pain was so much.

No children involved to say I am staying for them

Not a housewife to say she did not have any money.
Re: Then It Dawned On Me, I Died In An Abusive Marriage by mrwonlasewonie: 5:06pm On Nov 01, 2019
bukatyne:


From the grave grin

Never forget that cheesy

She is in charge of a shop and she couldn't build wealth to disappear if the pain was so much.

No children involved to say I am staying for them

Not a housewife to say she did not have any money.
well,she could be a ghost.never say never grin
Re: Then It Dawned On Me, I Died In An Abusive Marriage by Fountainofyouth(f): 7:13pm On Nov 01, 2019
bukatyne:


So a husband has the right to manage the family's resources mean he cannot abuse it?

Do you know the meaning of abuse?

And no, I have never said there is rape in marriage.



You would not know a twisted household if it hits you in the face.

It is the Glory Osei's of this world that fits you lots ranting how she is a strong independent woman while she is married to her co-founder.

Please let us face the thread;

The prospect of a letter from the dead is more interesting than discussing martial sex life.

Perhaps after you get married, we can discuss again. undecided


What has being married got to do with discerning evil from good? What a funny thinking....

If I should get you correctly, you are saying there is sexual abuse in marriage but nothing like rape, so rape is not part of sexual abuse, as in all other things are part of sexual abuse apart from forceful sex? That's what you're saying undecided the things we see on nl.....

Look here, if you enjoy forceful, violent sex in your marriage good for you, but don't come here to preach about what only suits you or makes you comfortable, see the way you typed resources, are we talking about that or sex here? Except of course you are a commodity to your husband, even a layman knows rape is very much part of the types of sexual abuse we have even in marriage, maybe you should Google types of sexual abuse to refresh your memory.

5 Likes

Re: Then It Dawned On Me, I Died In An Abusive Marriage by Fountainofyouth(f): 7:16pm On Nov 01, 2019
ImaIma1:


Such behaviour is usually bourne out of selfishness or a need to dominate or conquer the other person. 'How dare you keep your body from me when I paid your bride price?'.

So many belittle their wives and reduce them to nothing just for the sake of matrimony. The kind of dreadful and condescending words that come from such people will shake you.

Thankfully, women are becoming more aware and outspoken about these things.

There's so much a person can take.


Thanks for this.

2 Likes

Re: Then It Dawned On Me, I Died In An Abusive Marriage by Fountainofyouth(f): 7:23pm On Nov 01, 2019
crackhaus:

Don't be baited too easily cheesy

Can't you see that handle came out of hibernation and complete inactivity for almost two weeks, just to restart an argument she has had with you previously on your thread?

It's an alternate. cheesy


You are a sly, pathetic.

5 Likes

Re: Then It Dawned On Me, I Died In An Abusive Marriage by LordKO(m): 7:49pm On Nov 01, 2019
Fountainofyouth:




Contextually and in principle, there's nothing like rape in marriage because unification automatically takes place the very moment a man and a woman officially/legally contract marriage - the unification remains sacrosanct until the word "couple" changes its form from being a singular noun to a plural one.

So, sexual assault from one half of a couple toward another is, at best, an abuse rather than rape. In the same vein, monetary/resources wastage from one half of a couple toward another is, at best, mismanagement rather than thievery.

You no go win dis logic today, lol.

6 Likes

Re: Then It Dawned On Me, I Died In An Abusive Marriage by Fountainofyouth(f): 8:01pm On Nov 01, 2019
LordKO:


Contextually and in principle, there's nothing like rape in marriage because unification automatically takes place the very moment a man and a woman officially/legally contract marriage - the unification remains sacrosanct until the word "couple" changes its form from being a singular noun to a plural one.

So, sexual abuse from one half of a couple toward another is at best an assault rather than rape. In the same vein, monetary/resources wastage from one half of a couple toward another is at best mismanagement rather than thievery.

You no go win dis logic today, lol.



Lord, let's say, I am your wife, after doing house chores, caring for the kids etc. and very much physically drained and tired, and I just want to sleep, you come to me for sex, I say no and give obvious reasons, you insist, and then there is a struggle, you force me down, insert yourself into my dry self, thereby injuring me in the process, what will you call that scenerio? Be sincere with yourself this time, cos I know you like supporting bukatyne, after that ordeal, what do you think will be my state of mind? Don't you think I will feel violated physically and emotionally? What will you then call it, rape or consent?

4 Likes

Re: Then It Dawned On Me, I Died In An Abusive Marriage by Fountainofyouth(f): 8:03pm On Nov 01, 2019
Rape is part of sexual abuse and assault LordKO, don't try to be politically correct here pls.

6 Likes

Re: Then It Dawned On Me, I Died In An Abusive Marriage by LordKO(m): 8:18pm On Nov 01, 2019
Fountainofyouth:



Lord, let's say, I am your wife, after doing house chores, caring for the kids etc. and very much physically drained and tired, and I just want to sleep, you come to me for sex, I say no and give obvious reasons, you insist, and then there is a struggle, you force me down, insert yourself into my dry self, thereby injuring me in the process, what will you call that scenerio? Be sincere with yourself this time, cos I know you like supporting buka tyne, after that ordeal, what do you think will be my state of mind? Don't you think I will feel violated physically and emotionally? What will you then call it, rape or consent?

Truth is that, an altruistic and conscientious man - a sane person - cannot be caught in such a scenario you painted up there because he'll definitely understand his wife's position/condition. Understanding breeds love.

Meanwhile, an insane man can mete out such inhumane treatment toward his wife and when does, at best/worst, it will be said that he assaulted his wife and will be charged for sexual abuse rather than rape. As you can see, I don't hold brief for an insane man in this case. As for this allegation "I know you like supporting buka tyne" - na two of una I de support.

9 Likes

Re: Then It Dawned On Me, I Died In An Abusive Marriage by Fountainofyouth(f): 8:21pm On Nov 01, 2019
LordKO:


Truth is that, an altruistic and conscientious man - a sane person - cannot be caught in such a scenario you painted up there because he'll definitely understand his wife's position/condition. Understanding breeds love.

Meanwhile, an insane man can mete out such inhumane treatment toward his wife and when does, at best/worst, it's will be said that he assaulted his wife and will be charged for sexual abuse rather than rape. As you can see, I don't hold brief for an insane man in this case. As for this allegation "I know you like supporting buka tyne" - na two of una I de support.



Fair enough.

8 Likes

Re: Then It Dawned On Me, I Died In An Abusive Marriage by bukatyne(f): 8:35pm On Nov 01, 2019
mrwonlasewonie:
well,she could be a ghost.never say never grin

Abi na

Ghostina

2 Likes

Re: Then It Dawned On Me, I Died In An Abusive Marriage by crackhaus: 11:20am On Nov 02, 2019
bukatyne:


I have moved on joor.

A dead woman sending a note sounds more interesting.

[b]Hello, it's me
I was wondering if after all these years you'd like to meet
To go over everything
They say that time's supposed to heal ya
But I ain't done much healing
Hello, can you hear me?
I'm in California dreaming about who we used to be
When we were younger and free
I've forgotten how it felt before the world fell at our feet
There's such a difference between us
And a million miles
Hello from the other side
I must've called a thousand times
To tell you I'm sorry
For everything that I've done
But when I call you never
Seem to be home
Hello from the outside
At least I can say that I've tried
To tell you I'm sorry
For breaking your heart
But it don't matter, it clearly
Doesn't tear you apart anymore
Hello, how are you?
It's so typical of me to talk about myself, I'm sorry
I hope that you're well
Did you ever make it out of that town
Where nothing ever happened?
It's no secret
That the both of us
Are running out of time
So hello from the other side (other side)
I must've called a thousand times (thousand times)
To tell you I'm sorry
For everything that I've done
But when I call you never
Seem to be home
Hello from the outside (outside)
At least I can say that I've tried (I've tried)
To tell you I'm sorry
For breaking your heart
But it don't matter, it clearly
Doesn't tear you apart anymore
Oh, anymore
Oh, anymore
Oh, anymore
Anymore
Hello from the other side (other side)
I must've called a thousand times (thousand times)
To tell you I'm sorry
For everything that I've done
But when I call you never
Seem to be home
Hello from the outside (outside)
At least I can say that I've tried (I've tried)
To tell you I'm sorry
For breaking your heart
But it don't matter, it clearly
Doesn't tear you apart anymore[/b]
Adele.

I know the other side is not the grave but....
cheesy cheesy
Re: Then It Dawned On Me, I Died In An Abusive Marriage by bukatyne(f): 3:41pm On Nov 02, 2019
Fountainofyouth:



Lord, let's say, I am your wife, after doing house chores, caring for the kids etc. and very much physically drained and tired, and I just want to sleep, you come to me for sex, I say no and give obvious reasons, you insist, and then there is a struggle, you force me down, insert yourself into my dry self, thereby injuring me in the process, what will you call that scenerio? Be sincere with yourself this time, cos I know you like supporting bukatyne, after that ordeal, what do you think will be my state of mind? Don't you think I will feel violated physically and emotionally? What will you then call it, rape or consent?

How did I know you would bring up this example? grin grin

First, no sane husband who loves you (it is your duty to choose him, you say yes) will jump on you while you are dry yada yada if these chores are a one time thing. E.g. You deep cleaning on Saturdays might make you tired. If you use the cop out of chores to absconf from your sexual duty daily, fa fa fa fowl!

For an average man to 'force' himself on the wife means she has been giving him this same tired story all the time and some would rather force their wives than commit adultery. Just how the wives spike their husbands' drinks and jump on him.

If a wife is constantly 'tired' as a result of chores, she needs to sit back to review her schedule. Am I focusing on too much necessary stuffs? Are there stuffs I can enlist my husband to be responsible for? Can I outsource these things? Or is it a time management thingy? Or is that I am no longer attracted to my husband because he has served his purpose of delivering me from spinsterhood and given me kids?

After honest accessment, the wife should engage her husband with her findings and they work towards a resolution that suits all the parties.

If it is a mindset thing, she renews her mind to love her husband and accept the gift of his sexuality. Sometimes, the woman is dry because she is not turned on by him or at all. She can tell him to massage her body or give her adequate pre-intimacy to set her in the mood and before she knows it, she is gyrating to his strokes.

Have you ever wondered why most mothers are never tired to attend to the needs and wants of their kids because they see them as priority?

Have you ever wondered why most girlfriends cook, clean and fvck their bfs because they are still looking for the ring?

Sex is God's gift to humanity in marriage. It restores, makes a woman glow, makes a man tender and loving, makes a woman submissive, binds them together, is a form of recreation and multiplication. It is also a major stress reliever (people tired can try it esp. when the partner is gentle), keeps up with unity in marriage, allows for the opening and joining on a physical and soul level.

One of the major ways a man expresses lo e to his wife is that he is always fascinated with her body and he wants to make love to her. One of the major ways a woman expresses love to her husband to receiving his sexual advances with joy and enthusiasm.


The Red Pillers and Pick Up Artists know this and advise husbands and men generally to cheat once in a while so they are not 'addicted' to their wives. Extreme feminists also know this and bring up martial rape and all sorts to tell a wife her body is hers to control in marriage.

And what does LordKO always support me even mean? undecided

P. S.: You don't need to thank me or acknowledge I am right. Just keep these things to heart and practice in your marriage and testify to others.

Remember that the Yam and the Knife are in your hands. You have the power of choice. Choose a sane man who loves you.

4 Likes

Re: Then It Dawned On Me, I Died In An Abusive Marriage by Nobody: 4:17pm On Nov 02, 2019
LordKO:


Truth is that, an altruistic and conscientious man - a sane person - cannot be caught in such a scenario you painted up there because he'll definitely understand his wife's position/condition. Understanding breeds love.

Meanwhile, an insane man can mete out such inhumane treatment toward his wife and when does, at best/worst, it will be said that he assaulted his wife and will be charged for sexual abuse rather than rape. As you can see, I don't hold brief for an insane man in this case. As for this allegation "I know you like supporting buka tyne" - na two of una I de support.

Sane men, no, lots of sane men have been caught in this scenario cos they don't understand their wives positions or conditions.

If u put a little fight, u will be beaten.

The truth is this. Those men who engage in this forceful/ rape thing have a fetish. So bad they met somebody that don't share their ideology.
Cos it baffles me how your prikk will still be erect when your woman is in pain.
Isn't that fetish?

I have said it sometime ago that ladies should endeavour to know if their intended love violence when making love to avoid stories that touch. Some can't be an expert as Christian Gray.

3 Likes

Re: Then It Dawned On Me, I Died In An Abusive Marriage by LordKO(m): 5:14pm On Nov 02, 2019
sassysure:

Sane men, no, lots of sane men have been caught in this scenario cos they don't understand their wives positions or conditions.

If u put a little fight, u will be beaten.

The truth is this. Those men who engage in this forceful/ rape thing have a fetish. So bad they met somebody that don't share their ideology.
Cos it baffles me how your prikk will still be erect when your woman is in pain.
Isn't that fetish?

I have said it sometime ago that ladies should endeavour to know if their intended love violence when making love to avoid stories that touch. Some can't be an expert as Christian Gray.



You ought to know that it's not every man (or woman) who's conventionally assumed sane, who's literally/truly sane. And I was specific about the kind of sane man I mean, the altruistic and conscientious man. There's a thin line between a conventional insane/mad man and a small-minded/inhumane (egoistic and egotistic) man who's conventionally assumed sane. The former is visibly insane/mad to the knowledge of everyone, while the latter isn't - the latter is the insane man I mentioned, even though he's conventionally sane.

Once more, an altruistic and conscientious man cannot be caught in the scenario under discussion, even if his wife is conventionally or unconventionally insane.

8 Likes

Re: Then It Dawned On Me, I Died In An Abusive Marriage by Nobody: 9:43pm On Nov 02, 2019
Graxie:
How can there be no rape in marriage? You mean because of the vow I had with my husband, he can come and have sex with me anytime he wants without my consent? You mean I lost my right to say no, I don't feel like having now. Hmmmm. I am married by the grace of God, 11 years now, thank God for my husband. I will teach my daughter to look for a man like the father that will not pounce on her just because of marriage vows. I know men like that will be available in her generation.


I agree with bukatyne, there’s nothing like rape in an African marriage.
Re: Then It Dawned On Me, I Died In An Abusive Marriage by bukatyne(f): 9:44pm On Nov 02, 2019
Plead:



I agree with bukatyne, there’s nothing like rape in an African marriage.

It is not African marriage thingy sef.
Re: Then It Dawned On Me, I Died In An Abusive Marriage by bukatyne(f): 9:48pm On Nov 02, 2019
Graxie:
How can there be no rape in marriage? You mean because of the vow I had with my husband, he can come and have sex with me anytime he wants without my consent? You mean I lost my right to say no, I don't feel like having now. Hmmmm. I am married by the grace of God, 11 years now, thank God for my husband. I will teach my daughter to look for a man like the father that will not pounce on her just because of marriage vows. I know men like that will be available in her generation.

Your signature shows you are a Christian ma'am.

Read 1 Cor 7 where it talks of both parties losing rights over their bodies.

1 Corinthians 7 King James Version (KJV)
7 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.

2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.

4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.

5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

I think it is mischief and un christianly to paint that everlasting consent only on the wife's end.

5 Likes

Re: Then It Dawned On Me, I Died In An Abusive Marriage by Nobody: 9:49pm On Nov 02, 2019
bukatyne:


How did I know you would bring up this example? grin grin

First, no sane husband who loves you (it is your duty to choose him, you say yes) will jump on you while you are dry yada yada if these chores are a one time thing. E.g. You deep cleaning on Saturdays might make you tired. If you use the cop out of chores to absconf from your sexual duty daily, fa fa fa fowl!

For an average man to 'force' himself on the wife means she has been giving him this same tired story all the time and some would rather force their wives than commit adultery. Just how the wives spike their husbands' drinks and jump on him.

If a wife is constantly 'tired' as a result of chores, she needs to sit back to review her schedule. Am I focusing on too much necessary stuffs? Are there stuffs I can enlist my husband to be responsible for? Can I outsource these things? Or is it a time management thingy? Or is that I am no longer attracted to my husband because he has served his purpose of delivering me from spinsterhood and given me kids?

After honest accessment, the wife should engage her husband with her findings and they work towards a resolution that suits all the parties.

If it is a mindset thing, she renews her mind to love her husband and accept the gift of his sexuality. Sometimes, the woman is dry because she is not turned on by him or at all. She can tell him to massage her body or give her adequate pre-intimacy to set her in the mood and before she knows it, she is gyrating to his strokes.

Have you ever wondered why most mothers are never tired to attend to the needs and wants of their kids because they see them as priority?

Have you ever wondered why most girlfriends cook, clean and fvck their bfs because they are still looking for the ring?

Sex is God's gift to humanity in marriage. It restores, makes a woman glow, makes a man tender and loving, makes a woman submissive, binds them together, is a form of recreation and multiplication. It is also a major stress reliever (people tired can try it esp. when the partner is gentle), keeps up with unity in marriage, allows for the opening and joining on a physical and soul level.

One of the major ways a man expresses lo e to his wife is that he is always fascinated with her body and he wants to make love to her. One of the major ways a woman expresses love to her husband to receiving his sexual advances with joy and enthusiasm.


The Red Pillers and Pick Up Artists know this and advise husbands and men generally to cheat once in a while so they are not 'addicted' to their wives. Extreme feminists also know this and bring up martial rape and all sorts to tell a wife her body is hers to control in marriage.

And what does LordKO always support me even mean? undecided

P. S.: You don't need to thank me or acknowledge I am right. Just keep these things to heart and practice in your marriage and testify to others.

Remember that the Yam and the Knife are in your hands. You have the power of choice. Choose a sane man who loves you.

Wisdom overflow.
Re: Then It Dawned On Me, I Died In An Abusive Marriage by crackhaus: 11:31pm On Nov 02, 2019
bukatyne:


How did I know you would bring up this example? grin grin

First, no sane husband who loves you (it is your duty to choose him, you say yes) will jump on you while you are dry yada yada if these chores are a one time thing. E.g. You deep cleaning on Saturdays might make you tired. If you use the cop out of chores to absconf from your sexual duty daily, fa fa fa fowl!

For an average man to 'force' himself on the wife means she has been giving him this same tired story all the time and some would rather force their wives than commit adultery. Just how the wives spike their husbands' drinks and jump on him.

If a wife is constantly 'tired' as a result of chores, she needs to sit back to review her schedule. Am I focusing on too much necessary stuffs? Are there stuffs I can enlist my husband to be responsible for? Can I outsource these things? Or is it a time management thingy? Or is that I am no longer attracted to my husband because he has served his purpose of delivering me from spinsterhood and given me kids?

After honest accessment, the wife should engage her husband with her findings and they work towards a resolution that suits all the parties.

If it is a mindset thing, she renews her mind to love her husband and accept the gift of his sexuality. Sometimes, the woman is dry because she is not turned on by him or at all. She can tell him to massage her body or give her adequate pre-intimacy to set her in the mood and before she knows it, she is gyrating to his strokes.

Have you ever wondered why most mothers are never tired to attend to the needs and wants of their kids because they see them as priority?

Have you ever wondered why most girlfriends cook, clean and fvck their bfs because they are still looking for the ring?

Sex is God's gift to humanity in marriage. It restores, makes a woman glow, makes a man tender and loving, makes a woman submissive, binds them together, is a form of recreation and multiplication. It is also a major stress reliever (people tired can try it esp. when the partner is gentle), keeps up with unity in marriage, allows for the opening and joining on a physical and soul level.

One of the major ways a man expresses lo e to his wife is that he is always fascinated with her body and he wants to make love to her. One of the major ways a woman expresses love to her husband to receiving his sexual advances with joy and enthusiasm.


The Red Pillers and Pick Up Artists know this and advise husbands and men generally to cheat once in a while so they are not 'addicted' to their wives. Extreme feminists also know this and bring up martial rape and all sorts to tell a wife her body is hers to control in marriage.

And what does LordKO always support me even mean? undecided

P. S.: You don't need to thank me or acknowledge I am right. Just keep these things to heart and practice in your marriage and testify to others.

Remember that the Yam and the Knife are in your hands. You have the power of choice. Choose a sane man who loves you.
Kai cheesy cheesy
All these you're typing is not for the girls you're trying to make sense with.

They see husbands as rivals to wives and as such every issue between spouses becomes another opportunity to prove rights, they are always at war and already plan to continue the war with whoever they get married to...therefore marital rape is possible under these circumstances.

You on the other hand, you're coming from a place of peace and healthy relations between spouses and as such, there can never be any issue of marital rape between couples who are not at war with themselves every other day of the week.

It's all about the mindset.

5 Likes

Re: Then It Dawned On Me, I Died In An Abusive Marriage by yazga: 6:32am On Nov 03, 2019
mrwonlasewonie:
do you know whether she's enjoying the rape? wink

She has a choice but she will rather whine and complain to online strangers,ok then,let's all be entertained grin
ehn?!

1 Like

Re: Then It Dawned On Me, I Died In An Abusive Marriage by BLEMOSEDU: 10:42am On Nov 03, 2019
So where are you typing from? Heaven or hell? Lmao
Re: Then It Dawned On Me, I Died In An Abusive Marriage by yazga: 11:19am On Nov 03, 2019
BLEMOSEDU:
So where are you typing from? Heaven or hell? Lmao
Re: Then It Dawned On Me, I Died In An Abusive Marriage by Fountainofyouth(f): 1:04pm On Nov 03, 2019
Plead:



I agree with bukatyne, there’s nothing like rape in an African marriage.


So there is rape in non African marriages undecided oya judge yourself, did your statement make sense to you?

1 Like

Re: Then It Dawned On Me, I Died In An Abusive Marriage by Fountainofyouth(f): 1:15pm On Nov 03, 2019
bukatyne:


Your signature shows you are a Christian ma'am.

Read 1 Cor 7 where it talks of both parties losing rights over their bodies.

1 Corinthians 7 King James Version (KJV)
7 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.

2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.

4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.

5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

I think it is mischief and un christianly to paint that everlasting consent only on the wife's end.


The bible verse you quoted talks about man and woman in marriage, verse 5 said defraud not.....except be it with consent....meaning there should be consent in marriage, except there be a reason e.g fasting and other things, no one says consent is only for the wife, the fact that women speak more of sexual assault doesn't mean it doesn't happen to men, how many men will come out and say they were raped Stop making it a women thing pls, I speak for women cos I am a woman, men should speak out for themselves too, so stop contradicting yourself.

2 Likes

Re: Then It Dawned On Me, I Died In An Abusive Marriage by Fountainofyouth(f): 1:30pm On Nov 03, 2019
crackhaus:

Kai cheesy cheesy
All these you're typing is not for the girls you're trying to make sense with.

They see husbands as rivals to wives and as such every issue between spouses becomes another opportunity to prove rights, they are always at war and already plan to continue the war with whoever they get married to...therefore marital rape is possible under these circumstances.

You on the other hand, you're coming from a place of peace and healthy relations between spouses and as such, there can never be any issue of marital rape between couples who are not at war with themselves every other day of the week.

It's all about the mindset.


Scared of quoting me? lol mischief much, it seems concluding and assuming things about a person on a faceless forum based on the fact that their thinking and opinion is different gives some people a sense of worth, making them feel like their opinion is 100% right and true, especially when that opinion comes from a female, this is evident with most boys here, so ride on dude since you're one of them, since it obviously makes you feel better.

2 Likes

Re: Then It Dawned On Me, I Died In An Abusive Marriage by Nobody: 1:32pm On Nov 03, 2019
doitforyou:
I did it for the benefit of young impressionable minds that might stumble on this thread. Please post here the sick and warped vows you took that states rape (as long as there’s no physical injury) is allowed in holy matrimony. Your twisted message for your twisted household, should remain in your house not on the internet.
This comment deserves a thousand likes.

3 Likes

Re: Then It Dawned On Me, I Died In An Abusive Marriage by crackhaus: 4:36pm On Nov 03, 2019
Fountainofyouth:



Scared of quoting me? lol mischief much, it seems concluding and assuming things about a person on a faceless forum based on the fact that their thinking and opinion is different gives some people a sense of worth, making them feel like their opinion is 100% right and true, especially when that opinion comes from a female, this is evident with most boys here, so ride on dude since you're one of them, since it obviously makes you feel better.

4 Likes

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