So my wife of 4 years and I decided to confess to each after things went a little sour in our marriage. She told me my friendly taunts that 'babe you're getting old oh, I am sure you aren't getting toasters again' led her to commit adultery. That she actually slept with her old crush who happens to be a lecturer in her former school last year. She told me she was going for a make-up job over the weekend last October, I even gave her money for transport and all. She still used my money to lodge herself and her married lecturer man friend in the hotel and got dicked. She said that was the first time and she regretted it. And that she stopped talking to the man right after the Bleep.

I also told her I had a side chick for about 6 months and had a couple of flings with other girls but quit all after my side chick said she got pregnant and wanted to start blackmailing me. And I later discovered the pregnancy was 'audio' she only just wanted money.

We both felt sorry and forgave each other, but my big question now is, if she dated someone right under my nose and I didn't notice, and she perfectly did it. plus she's this church kinda wifey.

Should I be worried? When she told me I almost fainted as I had always trusted her and could bet my life on it at any shrine she wouldn't do it.

Na lie u dey lie so

Who u think say u dey lie 4?

You're worried about her infidelity when your own was much worse.

though it's very wrong to keep secrets in marriage, yes very bad. You don't need to be worried... Both of you should accept Jesus Christ into your lives , confess all your sins to Him only and never go back to your vomits again. I wish you happy home

I see two imperfect people who messed up but have come to the conclusion that their marriage is worth respecting and worth keeping..

First, you blowed the trumpet of she's not getting toasters anymore and look where it got you guys.

Now you are increasing the volume by engaging in this mind battle..

Uncle, allow peace to flow.. This thing the devil is stirring in your heart will lead to disaster

Look at what married people are doing in secret lord!!!

She will definitely commit infidelity again

thesicilian:
You're worried about her infidelity when your own was much worse.

As in see months of bleeping. If she can forgive him why is he having headache.
My advice to men, stop dishing out what you can’t take it. You didn’t make yourself a man nor will a woman come back to this earth with manly privileges. Na one life each person get irregarding of gender.

Biggty:
She will definitely commit infidelity again

Then so will he over and over again. So she should leave him?

Why are men especially from this country so self righteous? Men not women are the reason why many marriages fail.
To my fellow women don’t cheat, and don’t tell things to your husband of things that happened before you met him.
He will use it against you. No exception, every woman who made the mistake in the past thought her man was the exception.
Ok, I don talk my own.
Nice day you all!

— Sidechick for 6 months.
— Unprotected coitus.
— Numerous sex partners...

Your wife should be the one worried! Not you.

My only issue here is that you were surprised when she confessed to you.
As in, husbands still get surprised when they find out their wives have cheated on them once or twice before?

If only you know wetin we don use awa eyez see wey mouth no fit talk, you won't spend one second being worried about infidelity.

Your question is hypocritical. You both cheated on each other and neither of you "noticed" the other's infidelity. Hers was a one-time thing that she regretted; while yours was 6-month, long-term affair that you wouldn't have stopped had the pregnancy/blackmailing situation not risen + "a couple of flings with other girls". Tell me, who should be worried between the two of you?

harrikoko:
So my wife of 4 years and I decided to confess to each after things went a little sour in our marriage. She told me my friendly taunts that 'babe you're getting old oh, I am sure you aren't getting toasters again' led her to commit adultery. That she actually slept with her old crush who happens to be a lecturer in her former school last year. She told me she was going for a make-up job over the weekend last October, I even gave her money for transport and all. She still used my money to lodge herself and her married lecturer man friend in the hotel and got dicked. She said that was the first time and she regretted it. And that she stopped talking to the man right after the Bleep. I also told her I had a side chick for about 6 months and had a couple of flings with other girls but quit all after my side chick said she got pregnant and wanted to start blackmailing me. And I later discovered the pregnancy was 'audio' she only just wanted money.

We both felt sorry and forgave each other, but my big question now is, if she dated someone right under my nose and I didn't notice, and she perfectly did it. plus she's this church kinda wifey. Should I be worried? When she told me I almost fainted as I had always trusted her and could bet my life on it at any shrine she wouldn't do it.

I guess she should be the one to be worried


'cause your cheating is legendary

Never shame a woman (joke or not) about her age, beauty or body. I don’t know why that is so hard to understand? She will hold those words in her heart forever and do the unimaginable.

I agreed I goofed guys, yes I did confess to her that I did worse and I do pray I find the strength never to cheat on her again. I was only worried because I never believed she could do that shit. Like I stated in the post I can swear anywhere and with anything that she can't cheat? I have forgiven and I do she has forgiven me as well, but my fear is that, there could be more and she's not comfortable telling, because she accidentally let it slipped that if she had done it with her ex our marriage would have crashed long ago as he would prolly blackmail her.
I am just here to seek advice from mature minds on how we can make herself better and how to prove to her that she's still my world. Thanks

olabrinks:
Never shame a woman (joke or not) about her age, beauty or body. I don’t know why that is so hard to understand? She will hold those words in her heart forever and do the unimaginable.

I sure know better now

My only issue was the unprotected sex on your part.I don't know if your wife's was protected.
Please take your health seriously, that your side babe also has several or few sexual partners.

Now let's talk about the infidelity issue, you are worried right?
Nigeria men can't accept half of What they dish out daily to their wives.

Some how i am happy this happened.
For men who think cheating is their birth right , there you have it.

That your unattractive wife (In your eyes) might be knocked by someone else.

The world is crazy right now.

Ah I'm speechless

Gift7428:
My only issue was the unprotected sex on your part.I don't know if your wife's was protected.
Please take your health seriously, that your side babe also has several or few sexual partners.

Now let's talk about the infidelity issue, you are worried right?
Nigeria men can't accept half of What they dish out daily to their wives.

Some how i am happy this happened.
For men who think cheating is their birth right , there you have it.

That your unattractive wife (In your eyes) might be knocked by someone else.

The world is crazy right now.

Like seriously, cheating is bad enough. Wear a condom already! Grouse men, then they will want their wives to give them Mouth Action!

crackhaus:
My only issue here is that you were surprised when she confessed to you.
As in, husbands still get surprised when they find out their wives have cheated on them once or twice before?

If only you know wetin we don use awa eyez see wey mouth no fit talk, you won't spend one second being worried about infidelity.

crackhaus, please, tell us one or two. I want to learn. I'm afraid now sef...starting to have trust issues...not yet married though.

harrikoko:
So my wife of 4 years and I decided to confess to each after things went a little sour in our marriage. She told me my friendly taunts that 'babe you're getting old oh, I am sure you aren't getting toasters again' led her to commit adultery. That she actually slept with her old crush who happens to be a lecturer in her former school last year. She told me she was going for a make-up job over the weekend last October, I even gave her money for transport and all. She still used my money to lodge herself and her married lecturer man friend in the hotel and got dicked. She said that was the first time and she regretted it. And that she stopped talking to the man right after the Bleep. I also told her I had a side chick for about 6 months and had a couple of flings with other girls but quit all after my side chick said she got pregnant and wanted to start blackmailing me. And I later discovered the pregnancy was 'audio' she only just wanted money.

We both felt sorry and forgave each other, but my big question now is, if she dated someone right under my nose and I didn't notice, and she perfectly did it. plus she's this church kinda wifey. Should I be worried? When she told me I almost fainted as I had always trusted her and could bet my life on it at any shrine she wouldn't do it.

Guy, you both are guilty of the same thing. Don't you think she should be worried about your multiple affairs, especially as hers was a one off?

You both did the best thing - boldly talking about it. Now, repent, heal and enjoy your wife. A lot of women will never confess to you no matter what. You wife just wanted to feel attractive again.

I wouldn't expect my wife to tell me her secret, cus if it's so bad i may not recover from the shock and that may be the end of the marriage unless we can both endure to stay unhappy in the marriage forever. If i no catch u dey do am biko Just die with ur secret o .

thesicilian:
You're worried about her infidelity when your own was much worse.

The thing tire me oh...

So you cheated multiple times unprotected?

I think madam needs to complete the cycle so you guys can start afresh.

harrikoko:
I agreed I goofed guys, yes I did confess to her that I did worse and I do pray I find the strength never to cheat on her again. I was only worried because I never believed she could do that shit. Like I stated in the post I can swear anywhere and with anything that she can't cheat? I have forgiven and I do she has forgiven me as well, but my fear is that, there could be more and she's not comfortable telling, because she accidentally let it slipped that if she had done it with her ex our marriage would have crashed long ago as he would prolly blackmail her.
I am just here to seek advice from mature minds on how we can make herself better and how to prove to her that she's still my world. Thanks

Your marriage is sitting on a time bomb. She will surely cheat again. If not now, later.

Ganjafama:
Your marriage is sitting on a time bomb. She will surely cheat again. If not now, later.

Both of them cheated on each other, neither of their infidelity is less before their Creator. Healing in their marriage will take their combined commitment.

Pavore9:


Both of them cheated on each other, neither of their infidelity is less before their Creator. Healing in their marriage will take their combined commitment.

I get your point bro but somethings are better left unsaid. As it is now, it will take more than commitment for that marriage to remain the same. The dude is obviously pained that's why he's here. And he is going to feel pained anytime he his making love to is wife , inspite of the fact that he also cheated. It's the way men are wired.

Ganjafama:
I get your point bro but somethings are better left unsaid. As it is now, it will take more than commitment for that marriage to remain the same. The dude is obviously pained that's why he's here. And he is going to feel pained anytime he his making love to his wife , inspite of the fact that he also cheated. It's the way men are wired.

Many men are weak in processing a woman's truth but he has to deal with it.

I always say if you are cheating on your husband, please oh just take it to the grave or hide it very very well. There’s no amount of ranting or equality that can modify the nature of men. There’s nothing like if ‘I can forgive him why can’t he do the same’? The quicker you accept the realities of life, the easier life will be for you. They simply cannot handle a cheating gf/wife. They just can’t, no matter how much they try. That’s how many women have peace in their homes, they cheat and they cover it well. The only time you should confess is if children are involved.