merit1988:
I got married as a young virgin...probably didnt understand what love was all about then....

I've never really felt love or being loved in my marriage..coupled with some other marriage issues..

I wear the shoes and I know where it hurts...all I need is advices on how to build my love life and not yabs pls...it's very hurtful

merit1988:
I got married as a young virgin...probably didnt understand what love was all about then....

I've never really felt love or being loved in my marriage..coupled with some other marriage issues..

I wear the shoes and I know where it hurts...all I need is advices on how to build my love life and not yabs pls...it's very hurtful

merit1988:
most times, it's not how long ,but how well... pple date for years b4 marriage and still end up getting divorced...that's what I'm trying hard to avoid

merit1988:
most times, it's not how long ,but how well... pple date for years b4 marriage and still end up getting divorced...that's what I'm trying had to avoid

Femsyn:
The OP hasn't given enough info. Expect distorted responses.

merit1988:
I got married as a young virgin...probably didnt understand what love was all about then....

I've never really felt love or being loved in my marriage..coupled with some other marriage issues..

I wear the shoes and I know where it hurts...all I need is advices on how to build my love life and not yabs pls...it's very hurtful

UjuJoan2:


I think what he meant is that you can be filled with so much love and adoration for your husband today, and tomorrow feel such anger and resentment towards him. In that regard, I agree that love is not permanent.

It is unrealistic to think that you are your husbands will be head over heel, for every minute of your marriage. No matter how much in love you are, there will be times you will doubt your decision to marry your spouse. There will be times you will wish you made another choice. WHat is important is that when those times come, remember that the grass is NEVER greener on the other side. Whatever the 'issues' are, they can be resolved with time, patience and understanding.

Marriage is not a fairytale, even if God himself pointed the spouse to you.

Tony142:




We know, but during the dating periods, u should have seen this sign and try to tackle it before marriage, that y I was asking weather ona no date? How old is the marriage?

merit1988:
I got married as a young virgin...probably didnt understand what love was all about then....

I've never really felt love or being loved in my marriage..coupled with some other marriage issues..

I wear the shoes and I know where it hurts...all I need is advices on how to build my love life and not yabs pls...it's very hurtful

MakyavelitheDon:



Seriously this op seems fake, the story is fake.... Are u here just searching for uneccesary attention?
Go siddon for one side o

merit1988:
Sorry to disappoint you sir, if I need attention,I know were to get it

fulaniHERDSman:

Very rude from a woman ... and U senselessly re-echoed my last line.
Now I see why some foolish women go through domestic violence. Online world Shaa.

sweetmelanin:
OP I understand how you are feeling... and trust me, as you get older, it will affect your sex life in devastating ways.
I know the love isn't there anymore but do you at least like him as a person? If so, you guys can still live together in friendship. There are marriages out there like that (mine inclusive)... sometimes it's hard to walk away from a marriage when there isn't a " tangible " reason like domestic violence, cheating etc... society can be so judgemental and it really sucks. I totally get you dear.

LordKO:



Judge yourself, this particular derisive statement "How men bask judiciously in so much ignorance amuse me!" is it palatable/civil to your hearing?

On this "I read a thread here sometimes ago where Men were advised to marry and learn to love those who love them and only use and dump those they love." Well, only a mental parochial and ignorant element will give men such advice - the propagator and practitioner(s) of such school of thought don't represent men in general, at least not sane men.

Love (as a variant of goodness) has never been a woman's forte in relation to romantic/marriage affair, so only an ignorant man would expect love from a woman in this regard - the only thing a woman, a sane one, can give a man is submissiveness which is a variant of goodness in its own form. Both love and submissiveness are actions, not mere words and feelings. For a typical small-minded woman, it's always about herself interest first and sane men know about this, which is the reason a man's first call of duty when entering into such union with a woman is to find out what her interest in him is. Men aren't ignorant as most of you always think. The biggest dummy ever sold to women is that they're smarter than men - smartness isn't female-gender exclusive, you hear. A woman can only be considered sane in this regard if her interest is altruistic, else she's a small-minded woman like many and any discerning man can dissect her, no matter her sly prowess.

Meanwhile, sane people have always loved other human beings unconditionally - of course, this doesn't invalidate conditionality of falling in love and conditionality staying in love. So, small-minded people who don't love can learn to love conditionally since they cannot do so unconditionally.

OP should tell herself truth, the crux of her initial interest towards her husband has either waned or her husband hasn't been able to sustain it, and this is mostly because the interest/condition wasn't altruistic. What small-minded women always divert towards their offspring and deny their husband is interest, and this always happens because such women never had altruistic interest towards their husbands. Maybe you can now see the reason why sane men are always wary of materialistic, and parasitic women because once a woman's interest in a man isn't altruistic, it's a matter of time before she'll ruin him in any possible way intentionally or otherwise. The OP is about to ruin her husband, either by her making or her husband making.

Almaigaa:



You are nothing but a losed woman. After seeking for attention on Nairaland's dating section, you are here claiming that your husband doesn't love you. Your phone number ,is all ,over dating section. You kept cheating on your husband with small kids on this forum. You are a disgrace to woman hood. Your husband deserve a better woman. I pray he send your Olosho Ass parking.
Trash.

merit1988:
i guess u don't understand that when love doesn't flow in a marriage, everything becomes boring

Alexk2:


You need to see the way I carefully read your post like as if it'll pay my bills.... you're not entirely wrong but it is important we correct certain part of it for the sake of those who desire to know the "TRUTH"
1. Love truly exist and some couples are indeed in true love and are happy for it and LOVE is unconditional if it is love and not "LUST"
2. What majority call love is actually lust or infatuation which is very conditional and the day the attached condition is removed, the relationship/marriage will hit the rock.

3. God is "LOVE"; now that is deep and it'll take a whole topic to explain that but every human created by God and who received God's breath(living soul) have this what I'll call inherent attribute to love but God's presence in form of the Holy Spirit makes it evidential in human but then it still comes to our choice whether to display that inherent love from within or not....so, it is not in learning but in doing that is the problem bro.; same thing applies to hatred from Satan.
Time will not permit me to type more that this for now but maybe later I may answer quotes from you if you need more explanation.

Ariza:
There is a difference between Love and Gratitude. You can be grateful to a person but does that mean you are in love or you love that person? Gratuity is an expression of gratefulness for something done or help rendered While Love is an expression of endearment towards a being without a natural cause.Feeling grateful is different from feeling in love.Sir, 'I am grateful' is different from 'I love you'.


You are right, Love is the fruit of the spirit , it is the foundation earth was created on.As a matter of fact, God is love.And it takes the presence of God in a marriage for love to be fully experienced. But how many people are connected to the source of Love which is God? May God help us. Dear merit1988 please seek God and invite Jesus into your home.Love will be restored.

merit1988:
I got married as a young virgin...probably didnt understand what love was all about then....

I've never really felt love or being loved in my marriage..coupled with some other marriage issues..

I wear the shoes and I know where it hurts...all I need is advices on how to build my love life and not yabs pls...it's very hurtful

Mrpsly247:

Love is never a feeling, rather its those little acts that shows we care. Its a personality that goes beyond the ego selfishness in man. The issue with life and most marriages is that spouses are afraid to loose themselves in the relationship and would rather stick to power and passion play than fully commit or admit their unwillingness to fully commit and instead rationalize their actions in relation to their perceived notion of their partners behavior. In essence I am trying to say that love in marriage requires continual acts that elicit fleeting feelings of love, as scientist agree that the basic feeling which attracts in the initial stage which we call love doesn't last past about 3years...

Acidosis:


LOL Can you love someone without expecting love in return? Do you love your spouse because you just want to love him? You don't care about being loved in return? Well, that's the condition.

merit1988:
I got married as a young virgin...probably didnt understand what love was all about then....

I've never really felt love or being loved in my marriage..coupled with some other marriage issues..

I wear the shoes and I know where it hurts...all I need is advices on how to build my love life and not yabs pls...it's very hurtful

Ariza:
Lol Foolish men deserve no civility, if you feel offended by that sentence check yourself. So yes that sentence is civil enough for the audience it was directed at.

Women aren't capable of love in romantic/marriage affairs? Well you may be right, If you have never experienced unconditional love from a woman, what do I type to convince you otherwise? One can only believe what he or she has seen or felt. However I put it to you that you are wrong to put the whole world in a box with the belief that you have seen all in it.

Now on submissiveness and love. These two goes along , Love begat Submissiveness. You can only agree or comply with something you agree with.Neither can you fight or rebel something/someone you cherish. Separating the two is a huge error. Or are you saying it is possible to agree or obey or submit without acceptance? . When you love someone, you do their wish. They are together. Love and submissiveness.


@bolded, if sane people love unconditionally and according to you women don't love unconditionally, then it is safe to assume that women aren't sane. Right?

PrincessNZ:
Nonsense talk.






To the OP,

Either you or your husband or both of you married for selfish reasons. Love is permanent when two people marry for unselfish reasons.