I got married as a young virgin, but I've never really felt love or being loved in my marriage..I wear the shoes and I know where it hurts...it's very hurtful

merit1988:
I got married as a young virgin, but I've never really felt love or being loved in my marriage..I wear the shoes and I know where it hurts...it's very hurtful

Aunty forced you to marry?

Did you not read good relationship books or at least attend relationship seminars or get guided counsel from a mature person to know that marriage is not a DASH

You can still learn to love your hubby, true love is grown, it has nothing to do with horniness.

So don't feel bad because you didn't fall in love rather grow in love.

Read books and do your duty as a humble and wise wife.

Ladylite:


Aunty forced you to marry?

Did you not read good relationship books or at least attend relationship seminars or get guided counsel from a mature person to know that marriage is not a DASH

You can still learn to love your hubby, true love is grown, it has nothing to do with horniness.

So don't feel bad because you didn't fall in love rather grow in love.

Read books and do your duty as a humble and wise wife.

ok... thanks ma...I wasn't forced anyway and I know that u didnt see any thing like "horniness" in my post.. thanks for your advice anyways

merit1988:
I got married as a young virgin, but I've never really felt love or being loved in my marriage..I wear the shoes and I know where it hurts...it's very hurtful

You have never felt loved in the union? Do you want to seek the attention and love elsewhere? Always good for people to take their time before getting married. Why the rush in the first place ? So you start having sex huh . The same thing a colleague of mine in the office will do soon just because his church forbids sex or he lose his position in the church when done outside wedlock .

Privatepart00:
You have never felt loved in the union? Do you want to seek the attention and love elsewhere? Always good for people to take their time before getting married. Why the rush in the first place ? So you start having sex huh . The same thing a colleague of mine in the office will do soon just because his church forbids sex or he lose his position in the church when done outside wedlock .

why isn't it possible to get reasonable comments here.? What's up with having sex early bla bla bla? U have no idea how I got into my marriage so take a chill pill ...it's not compulsory u write pls....I'm only seeking for mature advices on how to handle my situation and not sarcasm.....but u can go on to be sarcastic if u want ... thats ur problem

merit1988:
I got married as a young virgin, but I've never really felt love or being loved in my marriage..I wear the shoes and I know where it hurts...it's very hurtful

Do you have kids?
Have you tried to air your feelings to your husband?

pryme:


Do you have kids?
Have you tried to air your feelings to your husband?

yes I do....... actually there was something he did to me in the past(though I HV forgiven him but it's difficult for me to forget) coupled with some other side issues and behaviors.......so, that has been the reason for my predicament.......all I want is to learn to build the love

merit1988:
yes I do....... actually there was something he did to me in the past(though I HV forgiven him but it's difficult for me to forget) coupled with some other side issues and behaviors.......so, that has been the reason for my predicament.......all I want is to learn to build the love

care to share?

but no matter what you got to fix it ,infact u guys got to fix it,

how is communication between you and your lawfully wedded husband?

no one is perfect, we just gotta tolerate stuff that won't send us overboard

jeff1607:



care to share?

but no matter what you got to fix it ,infact u guys got to fix it,

how is communication between you and your lawfully wedded husband?

no one is perfect, we just gotta tolerate stuff that won't send us overboard

that's another issue entirely.... he's hardly ever around.. communication with an absentee but when he's around,we talk Abit anyway

merit1988:
yes I do....... actually there was something he did to me in the past(though I HV forgiven him but it's difficult for me to forget) coupled with some other side issues and behaviors.......so, that has been the reason for my predicament.......all I want is to learn to build the love

You need closure, seems you have not really gotten over it.
Am sorry but i think the ball is not in your court to make this right, its in his.

pryme:


You need closure, seems you have not really gotten over it.
Am sorry but i think the ball is not in your court to make this right, its in his.

hmmmmm....this is tough

merit1988:
hmmmmm....this is tough

Do you guys talk?
Or you guys expect the other person to must have figured out whats going on?
Sometimes you just have grab the bull by the horns and TALK ABOUT IT with your partner.

You will feel like a load has been lifted off your chest.

pryme:


Do you guys talk?
Or you guys expect the other person to must have figured out whats going on?
Sometimes you just have grab the bull by the horns and TALK ABOUT IT with your partner.

You will feel like a load has been lifted off your chest.

hmmmmm .. thanks alot for this...I'm grateful

I think you shld try to take things easy, free resentment in your mind. Try to forget improve communication with him.
God help us all.

merit1988:
yes I do....... actually there was something he did to me in the past(though I HV forgiven him but it's difficult for me to forget) coupled with some other side issues and behaviors.......so, that has been the reason for my predicament.......all I want is to learn to build the love

hardebounty:
I think you shld try to take things easy, free resentment in your mind. Try to forget improve communication with him.
God help us all.

thanks alot

Communication is important. Try as much as possible to iron out issues amicably. Remember, there is no perfect marriage.
Secondly, you have to forgive and move on, no matter how serious the offence it. Otherwise, you will be hurting yourself. It is not also too good for couples to live far apart if it can be helped.
Above all, try to free your mind of those things that was done in the past that you didn't like. Move on with life. You can actually enjoy your union. You will, however, carefully work it out.

Bolnij2:
Communication is important. Try as much as possible to iron out issues amicably. Remember, there is no perfect marriage.
Secondly, you have to forgive and move on, no matter how serious the offence it. Otherwise, you will be hurting yourself. It is not also too good for couples to live far apart if it can be helped.
Above all, try to free your mind of those things that was done in the past that you didn't like. Move on with life. You can actually enjoy your union. You will, however, carefully work it out.

ur right... thanks so much

spend more tyme 2gether, hang out wen less busy n have fun

All these PMs I'm getting sef

merit1988:
All these PMs I'm getting sef

What do u expect. They see a damsel in distress. Deal with it.

dairykidd:

What do u expect. They see a damsel in distress. Deal with it.

lol

You've forgiven him yeah...but you've not forgotten cuz you both haven't talked about it...sometimes for true forgiveness to happen, talking about the incident helps. Not just brush over with I'm sorry and hope things will get back to normal. Iron it out once and for all.

marksleek25:
You've forgiven him yeah...but you've not forgotten cuz you both haven't talked about it...sometimes for true forgiveness to happen, talking about the incident helps. Not just brush over with I'm sorry and hope things will get back to normal. Iron it out once and for all.

thanks huh

merit1988:
I got married as a young virgin, but I've never really felt love or being loved in my marriage..I wear the shoes and I know where it hurts...it's very hurtful

Ever want to talk outside Nairaland ? Let me know and I'll drop my digits
I am not judgemental and shit, I understand what you're going through too

.

.

Hello,
I sent a DM.
I will like to be added to this whatsapp group

merit1988:
thanks alot