Ahmed0336:
Hehehe tell her and loose her.

Keep her but make sure you stylishly make her quit her friendship with her end time friend

Hope her friend does not have evidence of what happened? As to the size and nature of your dick better find story tell her o. E.g I was sleeping with just boxers and your friend just walked in e.g before she ll use the size of your dick to blackmail you

Don't chat with her on social media even if you must keep it cordial.

I am in no way supporting your act but somethings are better left unsaid

That's a heavy lie but you right just to save the relationship.

franciskaine:
ofcus! The chances of him getting his relationship back after such spill is less than 10%. His cross to carry. We must seek and apply wisdom in all we do. That he even had sex with the said lady more dan once makes his sorry story questionable.

But if she finds out later it would be even worse. How do you expect them to be calm when the woman is her friend??

So they will all be pretending for the rest of their lives or what?

Hope your GF isn't a Nairalander? Cause she just found out

Ariza:
From the guy's story , His Girlfriend is a good lady and one of the attributes of Goodness is Altruism which comes out of trust. People like op's girlfriend give benefits of doubt a lot and sees others like themselves until proven otherwise. Also from the story, the two ladies are very close. So close to the extent of working out their services to be at the same place. That shows a deep form of connection that is hardly found among women these days. There was Trust, Trueness, and love just that it turned out to be one sided.

My heart goes out to the lady who is about to lose the two people she loves dearly.

Lol. there is a difference between trust and total illogicality. That thing she did was very stupid, Im sorry to say

I cant even try such in my own blood sister's house and it doesnt mean that I am not a good person

Human beings and judging their fellow humans like they are the purest of them all. The OP already admitted his mistakes and is only looking for suggestions on how to fix his misdeeds. See castigation and bashing here and there.
Having self control is an attribute only few possess. He wasn't even boasting of the escapade, he's confessing because he doesn't want to loose his woman. Please go easy on him people. It takes a strong man to cheat , admit he did and even feel sorry with the whole patriarchy shit flying around this days.
OP, you have to tell your woman about this and continue to apologise while promising not to do this again. You just have to earn her trust back. If you don't, her friend is definitely going to tell her someday and it might be too late then for explanations and apologies. Your woman ought to have known not to trust women anyhow especially with her man. Safe!

Op if u tell her, ur headache! If u no tell her, ur cup of tea!!!

Why didn't u ask for our opinion(s) before shagging ur girl's best friend, ehn?...after u don enjoy ursef finish u come come here dey form repentance... See no just try us o na Sunday morning be this! Go and carry ur cross!!

Like me friend will always say, Na ur cross, make sure u carry am straight make e no wound another person!!!

midnighter:


Lol. there is a difference between trust and total illogicality. That thing she did was very stupid, Im sorry to say

I cant even try such in my own blood sister's house and it doesnt mean that I am not a good person

You must learn to see things from other people's perspective to understand life. She was naive maybe but not stupid.

That's it.

Ariza:
You must learn to see things from other people's perspective to understand life. She was naive maybe but not stupid.

That's it.

I didnt say she is stupid. I said that her action was stupid

Do you know that in days of old, the whole village will be on fire if you are seen sleeping in somebodys husbands house? So is this supposed to be wokeness or what??

AdeeT:


I've betrayed her trust, I have really hurt her, I wish that I could undo all I've done. But it's too late, and I'm reek of guilt, it's all over me.

I just cheated on a beautiful lady that has stayed with me through thick and thin for years, a wonderful soul that anyone would dream to have. Cheating might be a common thing, but the moment you cheat on a pure soul, an innocent woman that gives you all, WITH HER BEST FRIEND, then it's beyond cheating.

I am charming, good looking working class guy, guys and girls easily comment how good looking I am, my fiancee is so proud of me, and my achievements that she easily shows me off at the slightest opportunity. She attended the same Uni with her friend, and ever since then, they've been a very good friend. They even served at the same place(worked out), to show you how close they her.

Now my fiancee works in the southern Nigeria, we planned to seal things up next year, and live together here in Abuja. Her friend came for a job interview here, and my woman advised that she rather stay with me for the period instead of her spending a lot on hotel accommodations since I live alone in a bedroom flat. I obliged, and she came down here, little did I know that things would get messy. Long story cut short, I fell in to her seduction the second night of her staying after some series of events. We ended up having sex couples of time before she left. I feel terrible now, though she felt nothing, I can't even flow well with my woman on phone again, guilt is all over me. I don't know how I will stand her whenever we meet. Of all girls in the world, she's the least anyone would want to cheat on.

I'm thinking of telling her. Mind you guys, I'm not a weakling, I've never been one. Before I met her some 3 years back, I was on the other end of life. She changed a lot for good for me, and helped stop many bad things, as well as starting several good ones. I don't know what her reaction would be after telling her. Her friend still communicates with her as if nothing happened.

I'm in pain guys. A serious one. I need advices.

I am not saying anything else, but her friend will certainly kill her one day if you don't warn her. I don't know or care about the consequences, but her friend certainly wants everything she has.

What do you mean by that you're not a weakling? Where then lies your strength when you couldn't resist your fiancee's close friend? Now you're shaking and asking us on Nairaland for advice. As if you'll not Bleep her again if the opportunity presents itself again. If you're not a weakling, you won't be posting this. Call your fiancee and tell her everything and prepare for anything. Then will you prove that you're not a weakling.

DONT CONFESS O
U ARE A MAN
DONT LET UR HEART CONTROL UR HEAD
DO NOT
I REPEAT DO NOT CONFESS
STAY AWAY FROM HER FRIEND
AND BE EXTRA NICE TO UR WOMAN

midnighter:


I didnt say she is stupid. I said that her action was stupid

Do you know that in days of old, the whole village will be on fire if you are seen sleeping in somebodys husbands house? So is this supposed to be wokeness or what??

Okay ma.

Guilty? Dude, man up. Men don't cheat. Men fūck hardcore. Just don't fūck an underage.

midnighter:
How can somebody use her own mouth to urge their dude and girlfriend stay together...in a self-contained...and she wont even be there to attend to her friend...

Well, couldnt be me sha..crazy..

Maybe she collaborated with the friend to test you and see if you would fall

most defo this..

midnighter:


Oh she's even sleeping with somebody else's guy herself?

Lol you people should continue oh

My sister,that na their wahala, though personally I have little scruples about miss/mrs A deciding to shag boy/Mr B.
Na elastic tissue dey for those thighs,stretch and contract.
It helped too that my girlfriend now wife was at Abj law sch about 2hrs away,so I knew it would be wahala for me if I misbehaved(both knew about each other and my girl visited once in a while)
The girl in question later confided in a mutual friend that she felt heartbroken that I never considered her for dating/marriage bla bla,and that she'd have made a perfect wife for me bla bla.
Babe is a tomboy,drinks wella like me,smokes wella too.
We go hangout with a group of guys,na only me n am go still sober by the time we'd be going home,to lie down on the same bed(was living in a room and parlour then with only the room furnished,parlor was bare).It was a miracle none of us ever as little as tried but maybe met resistance.
The effect is she trusts me so much now,I have a spare key to her flat so I can sleep over when I'm on call(I now live 1hr away after I got married).
What I'm saying in essence is,no need trying to blame "temptation",in the case of op,both were willing sinners

AdeeT:
Thanks to all for trying to help.

I'm just more confused now than ever. I'll keep this to myself till we meet in December, by then, I pray that God will forgive me, and help me keep this that have nurtured for a long time.

I've learnt my lessons now. Again, thank you all.

Cheating isn’t for your kind. You are a weakling not because you cheated on your girl or that you couldn’t hold yourself but for the chaos in your mind and bringing this to Nairaland.

I’m not going to condemn your deed but I’m angry that you are not man enough to bear the consequences of your action.

It’s done, you regretted your action now shut up and move on. The girl you cheated on your girl with has moved on. She didn’t force you. Accept responsibility and stop blaming anyone.

I wouldn’t tell her if I was in your position since you’ve learnt your lesson, realised your mistake and hopefully made up your mind that it wouldn’t happen again.

You might lose her, you might not but one thing is definite here. If you squeal, your girl and her friend would become enemies. She’ll never ever want to see her again. Shut up about this, the girl hasn’t contacted you since and hasn’t tried to steal you from her friend. Both of you messed up.
As Rihanna said...” just shut up and drive”

I once cheated on two friends the same day. I told no one and the experience was good but I haven’t done it again.

Lots of Nairalanders would cheat and cheat again if the opportunity presents itself. I have. You have and stf up and keep smiling.

wisdomkid:


I am not saying anything else, but her friend will certainly kill her one day if you don't warn her. I don't know or care about the consequences, but her friend certainly wants everything she has.

My thoughts exactly! That friend is on a mission. I believe the op's girlfriend has shared some secret with "this friend" through girls talk. The friend is set out for something bigger than just sex. Op has to open up to save himself and his girlfriend.

funmisticqueen:
She didn't seduce you,, you allowed yourself to be seduced. You couldn't stay faithful for her? Guess she isn't as close to your heart as you thought. And it was more than once. Guess you didn't really know yourself

Come on Funmisticqueen, Don’t over crucify the guy....yes he has fcked up big time but I feel u are wrong to say the lady isn’t close to his heart......and before u climb the horse of feminism by asking how will he feel if the fiancé did same...he has already answered that...he feels bad already...he praised her that she ddnt deserve such.....it’s not love that doesn’t make a man or woman cheat... although love is expected to guide u dealing with ur Partner... but love is never enuf..it takes more than love to build a relationship...it’s only personal discipline that tame fleshy craving..
...the guy is remorseful without being caught...that’s aan indication he knows he has done wrong...some men don’t even care...they see it as their right to cheat..

midnighter:


But if she finds out later it would be even worse. How do you expect them to be calm when the woman is her friend??

So they will all be pretending for the rest of their lives or what?

I neva said he should keep it a secret. Whatever pleases him he should do. There's no single rule to solving this puzzle. What works for A might crash B. Let him do whatever he wishes and hopefully he might get a positive result.

You had sex with her repeatedly, so it wasn't a mistake, it's what you've always wanted,perhaps you've been profiling her for a while now.

Thank you not hiding the stupid man in your thing on seeing her friend because should have found a way to avoid her, the untrusted friend of hers. If you are sincerely sincere you want to give your relationship a name, then, tell her now before her friend spills the bean which call off the relationship with her. Her friend is on the road to ruin your friendship. I repeat, tell your girlfriend today in the presence of your sister or brother who likes her so that the friendship will remain. Delay is dangerous. Who knows, her friend must have come to you with jazz with intention to take you from your girlfriend. if true, then it is deadly as girls are dangerously dangerous now. Tell your girlfriend now if you still want her as delay is bad.

@op you took all the blame or you should be ashamed of yourself,you slept with your fiancée bestie not once or twice but severally before she left your place,you allowed your organ to be your control unit,whatever happens to pulling away and telling the devil off? Na people like you dey sleep with their house maid because the girl is putting on a short skirt or because she’s too busty, Oga open up to your fiancée,seek for her forgiveness,am sure she will forgive if she truly loves you and please stop all your self exaltation which is entering your head(irresistible my foot) and learn to control yourself.

Ajixegun:


What is you guys? Abeg, stop generalizing jare.

Ohh sorry sir since you ain't part of them but most guys are. apologies plzzzzzzzzz

ogbuefi677:

My sister,that na their wahala, though personally I have little scruples about miss/mrs A deciding to shag boy/Mr B.
Na elastic tissue dey for those thighs,stretch and contract.
It helped too that my girlfriend now wife was at Abj law sch about 2hrs away,so I knew it would be wahala for me if I misbehaved(both knew about each other and my girl visited once in a while)
The girl in question later confided in a mutual friend that she felt heartbroken that I never considered her for dating/marriage bla bla,and that she'd have made a perfect wife for me bla bla.
Babe is a tomboy,drinks wella like me,smokes wella too.
We go hangout with a group of guys,na only me n am go still sober by the time we'd be going home,to lie down on the same bed(was living in a room and parlour then with only the room furnished,parlor was bare).It was a miracle none of us ever as little as tried but maybe met resistance.
The effect is she trusts me so much now,I have a spare key to her flat so I can sleep over when I'm on call(I now live 1hr away after I got married).
What I'm saying in essence is,no need trying to blame "temptation",in the case of op,both were willing sinners

Lol. You really tried. Thank God you didnt do it, plus she helped you not to do it. At least you people are seeing the benefit of it now

Ariza:
My thoughts exactly! That friend is on a mission. I believe the op's girlfriend has shared some secret with "this friend" through girls talk. The friend is set out for something bigger than just sex. Op has to open up to save himself and his girlfriend.

Rubbish. Two adults took advantage of a situation. That’s what it is. The girl might be the one who was taken advantage of because of her position, lack of job, lack of accommodation etc. I think this guy exploited her vulnerability.

She’s disadvantaged here in my opinion and this dude saw the weakness in her and exploited it.

AdeeT:


I've betrayed her trust, I have really hurt her, I wish that I could undo all I've done. But it's too late, and I'm reek of guilt, it's all over me.

I just cheated on a beautiful lady that has stayed with me through thick and thin for years, a wonderful soul that anyone would dream to have. Cheating might be a common thing, but the moment you cheat on a pure soul, an innocent woman that gives you all, WITH HER BEST FRIEND, then it's beyond cheating.

I am charming, good looking working class guy, guys and girls easily comment how good looking I am, my fiancee is so proud of me, and my achievements that she easily shows me off at the slightest opportunity. She attended the same Uni with her friend, and ever since then, they've been a very good friend. They even served at the same place(worked out), to show you how close they her.

Now my fiancee works in the southern Nigeria, we planned to seal things up next year, and live together here in Abuja. Her friend came for a job interview here, and my woman advised that she rather stay with me for the period instead of her spending a lot on hotel accommodations since I live alone in a bedroom flat. I obliged, and she came down here, little did I know that things would get messy. Long story cut short, I fell in to her seduction the second night of her staying after some series of events. We ended up having sex couples of time before she left. I feel terrible now, though she felt nothing, I can't even flow well with my woman on phone again, guilt is all over me. I don't know how I will stand her whenever we meet. Of all girls in the world, she's the least anyone would want to cheat on.

I'm thinking of telling her. Mind you guys, I'm not a weakling, I've never been one. Before I met her some 3 years back, I was on the other end of life. She changed a lot for good for me, and helped stop many bad things, as well as starting several good ones. I don't know what her reaction would be after telling her. Her friend still communicates with her as if nothing happened.

I'm in pain guys. A serious one. I need advices.

It's clear you are not a smart person, of all people to cheat with, you chose the best friend, what if she blackmails you in the future, How do you even know you are not being tested. Guy you are truly not smart no offense

AdeeT:


I've betrayed her trust, I have really hurt her, I wish that I could undo all I've done. But it's too late, and I'm reek of guilt, it's all over me.

I just cheated on a beautiful lady that has stayed with me through thick and thin for years, a wonderful soul that anyone would dream to have. Cheating might be a common thing, but the moment you cheat on a pure soul, an innocent woman that gives you all, WITH HER BEST FRIEND, then it's beyond cheating.

I am charming, good looking working class guy, guys and girls easily comment how good looking I am, my fiancee is so proud of me, and my achievements that she easily shows me off at the slightest opportunity. She attended the same Uni with her friend, and ever since then, they've been a very good friend. They even served at the same place(worked out), to show you how close they her.

Now my fiancee works in the southern Nigeria, we planned to seal things up next year, and live together here in Abuja. Her friend came for a job interview here, and my woman advised that she rather stay with me for the period instead of her spending a lot on hotel accommodations since I live alone in a bedroom flat. I obliged, and she came down here, little did I know that things would get messy. Long story cut short, I fell in to her seduction the second night of her staying after some series of events. We ended up having sex couples of time before she left. I feel terrible now, though she felt nothing, I can't even flow well with my woman on phone again, guilt is all over me. I don't know how I will stand her whenever we meet. Of all girls in the world, she's the least anyone would want to cheat on.

I'm thinking of telling her. Mind you guys, I'm not a weakling, I've never been one. Before I met her some 3 years back, I was on the other end of life. She changed a lot for good for me, and helped stop many bad things, as well as starting several good ones. I don't know what her reaction would be after telling her. Her friend still communicates with her as if nothing happened.

I'm in pain guys. A serious one. I need advices.

For the fact that you have a good conscience,n be remorseful of ur sin,it is a right start towards getting u out from this Quagmire.

Humans are bound to make mistakes..Confess ur sins before her..N she accept u..promise not to go back to them again..Ok
Confess n pray to the lord almighty, to cleanse u from this iniquity .....ok..

slam7000:


Rubbish. Two adults took advantage of a situation. That’s what it is. The girl might be the one who was taken advantage of because of her position, lack of job, lack of accommodation etc. I think this guy exploited her vulnerability.

She’s disadvantaged here in my opinion and this dude saw the weakness in her and exploited it.

Could be that way too, but would she have just slept with him like that? at the detriment of her friend who helped her?
Are you saying, if things had happened that way, this thread would still be created? If so for what purpose?

franciskaine:
I neva said he should keep it a secret. Whatever pleases him he should do. There's no single rule to solving this puzzle. What works for A might crash B. Let him do whatever he wishes and hopefully he might get a positive result.

Amen.

slam7000:


Rubbish. Two adults took advantage of a situation. That’s what it is. The girl might be the one who was taken advantage of because of her position, lack of job, lack of accommodation etc. I think this guy exploited her vulnerability.

She’s disadvantaged here in my opinion and this dude saw the weakness in her and exploited it.

But sir, dont you think that somebody who is travelling from Port Harcourt to Abuja should know how they will manage themselves when they get there?

How can you be vulnerable for a planned journey? So why are you going there

How many hours on the Peace mass bus will it take you to realise that you are vulnerable....

Ya'll just talking as if ya'll are saint. Bro, u screwed up bt dat doesn't mean u shuld crucify ur self man...just confess to her nd let everything flow,so u could relieve ur self of de burden...
If she loves u, she will forgive u,it might take time though...but on de long run what is meant to be will definately
So just confess nd take a chill pill

Just tell her. That's the only way if you had and intention of ending up with her.