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Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by Pafoma: 8:09pm On Nov 13, 2019 |
Guys! I need serious, real and honest contributions.. Thanks to all that will contribute. I have a lady whom i am dating. I truly love and care about her but she has been with people that are in my circle and this disturbs me. She didnt used to be a straightforward and totally faithful person but i see that she is making efforts towards being completely honest and straightforward but still i dont have rest in my spirit about taking the decision to marry her. I have observed she is soft with guys and is not firm, although i am aware it takes time for someone used to a particular pattern or lifestyle to adjus. I need help because breaking up with this lady will mean that i have to look for someone else to start the entire circle with again and who knows what if the new one also comes with even worse baggages. My questions are these 1. What do you advice i do? 2. Who has been in similar situation where you fell in love with a lady your friends and circle have been with then married her? What was the experience like including things to look out for.. 3. How can be sure i wont regret the decision to go forward? Please feel free to ask me any question and i’ll answer if they are not sarcastic or jokes.. Thank you. 22 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by izzou(m): 8:15pm On Nov 13, 2019 |
![]() What do you mean by friends and circle being with her? Like they've had sex with her? 116 Likes 5 Shares |
Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by Raddie(m): 8:17pm On Nov 13, 2019 |
Pafoma: Grab a couple of beers call everyone together and a couple of neutrals, have the whole house covered with cams. Don't forget to get high as f**k, a time of your life, relax and roll a blunt. By morning brand new you! 34 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by obi4eze(m): 8:18pm On Nov 13, 2019 |
If you have no rest in your spirit about her then something is wrong. There is something you're yet to find out about her. 288 Likes 10 Shares |
Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by Nobody: 8:28pm On Nov 13, 2019 |
Your fiancée is a free giver na! The economic benefit is that she'll help relieve guys of conji. We can't all be reserved. ![]() 205 Likes 5 Shares |
Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by Skyfornia(m): 8:36pm On Nov 13, 2019 |
Huh...my brother I'll advice you as a fellow brother, leave that lady and preserve your respect. I can't even date any lady I know her ex boyfriend not to talk of dating or marrying one that have dated someone in my circle. Those men will never respect you and your woman... 331 Likes 20 Shares |
Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by tojahh(m): 8:52pm On Nov 13, 2019 |
Every time you have sex with her... You will always think of how others on your circle have had sex with her and wondered if this is how she screams and moan the whole bedroom while doing it. In fact it causes low libido. Just take your share and let her go. 381 Likes 16 Shares
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Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by Pafoma: 9:09pm On Nov 13, 2019 |
izzou:Dated and had sex with her during the period, yes. 25 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by Pafoma: 9:09pm On Nov 13, 2019 |
obi4eze:Hmm! 3 Likes |
Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by Pafoma: 9:13pm On Nov 13, 2019 |
Skyfornia: What if i have detached from these circles even before i met her, we had met and started dating when i found out about them. I mean, what will their respect do for me because we dont belong to the same circle any longer. If she can prove that i will not regret my decision then maybe i might be willing to risk it 21 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by Pafoma: 9:15pm On Nov 13, 2019 |
tojahh: Easier said, feelings are now involved for me! Sigh! 14 Likes |
Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by tojahh(m): 9:18pm On Nov 13, 2019 |
Pafoma: Oga if you truly have feelings for her... You'd heed my advice. 13 Likes |
Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by bukatyne(f): 9:21pm On Nov 13, 2019 |
Pafoma: When you say circle, are you talking of acquaintances you can subtly part ways with or friends like business partners etc. you can't do without? Are you also talking of dating one person, did not work out thingy or casual sex with a number of them? If it is ex, I believe the person should be mature enough to move on and treat you both with respect: if it is causal sex with multiple people in one circle then you might want to move on. Also, you say she is trying to be straightforward: in sexual matters, you are either straightforward aka faithful or not. If she was used to having causal sex in the past and she wanted to change, she knows the situations she should not get into. You might also want to know why she wants to change: her biological clock is ticking and she wants to settle down? She has seen the error of her ways and truly repenting? She wasn't wise enough to discern when she was in a relationship with herself and had sex too soon? She had psychological issues and used sex to fill that need? In summary, if your spirit does not have peace with this lady, move on. While I understand the sentiment behind not wanting to start afresh, a broken engagement is better than a broken marriage. 157 Likes 6 Shares |
Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by Pafoma: 9:44pm On Nov 13, 2019 |
bukatyne: Yes, acquitances and friends i used to be close too. A few of the friends, we just greet but no close bonds any longer although not because of her but i just moved on from an unfocused & unserious lifestyle. Yes, i am talking about both dated and just a few times together.. Straight like she has realised her former lifestyle was foolish. Not exactly having casual sex but but guys that persuade/pester her that they like her or they dated briefly, she had something with them. She realised she was just being used and non of the guys that assured her of their faithfulness were true, they all just did her and moved on.. i am sure you get! 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by Vyolet(f): 9:54pm On Nov 13, 2019 |
You alone can have your woman's back, you alone can give her respect and have others respect her. The most important thing is if she is truly changed and remorseful, is she also ready to be loyal? There are men that married retired sex workers and things work Perfectly, Marriage is like a black-market, you never know what you will meet until you get in there. Since those people are no longer in your circle even long before you met your fiance, then you may go ahead with her, In the end though, follow whatever your heart tells you. 72 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by crackhaus: 9:55pm On Nov 13, 2019 |
Pafoma:I can see you don't value your peace of mind ![]() What in the tomfoolery kind of complicated-as-hell menstrual cycle of friends and acquaintances is this for heavens sake? Are there no other girls? Na wah o It's an unwritten rule that a G must never get married to a woman who has been with any of his friends or acquaintances. It doesn't matter if he is still close to them or not. YOU JUST DON'T DO IT! There are way too many single hunnies available for you to be playing Russian Roulette with one. 118 Likes 5 Shares |
Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by Nobody: 10:01pm On Nov 13, 2019 |
Pafoma: ![]() That marriage you want to rush into I hope you will not rush out of it sha ? How can you even think of dating talkless of marrying someone your friends have slept with ? Do you have an infirmity or something ? Cant you get another lady and build your life with her ? Just know that marriage isnt dating, that sex that is clouding your sense now go clear for your eye after marriage .... 60 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by Fountainofyouth(f): 10:43pm On Nov 13, 2019 |
That lady is shameless and has esteem issues for her to have something to do with you and your former clique... You lack high standard, moral decency, and also esteem issues for you to go for someone who has been passed around by your friends, you lack class, Your faults, Were you blind or deaf that you didn't know all these revelations before starting the relationship with her and falling in love? How come it is now that you want to dump her you remember that she was once a free sample? You are now having second thoughts but you don't want your conscience to judge you that's why you came here to rant so you won't feel and be perceived as a terrible person for wasting her time all this while abi? And then you remembered a tale that was long forgotten cos you are tired and bored of her and need a stupid ass reason to break up with her right? Clap for yourself mister man, we will tell you what you want to hear, break up with her and let her be, but know this, I assure you that the next woman you meet will have evil, deadly baggages as high as Mount Everest that you will never know till you are both married, and I pray by that time, it will too late for you, I so pray it will really be too late, nonsense. 21 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by Kendumazy(m): 10:49pm On Nov 13, 2019 |
Hmmmm. |
Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by Ogbunigwe2018: 11:57pm On Nov 13, 2019 |
The devil you know is better than the angel you don't. I see you as a very complicated human being, if not you won't be entangled in this hullabaloo. My advice is to proceed with the marriage, cos if you had the balls to date her in the first instance, then what's the worst that can happen ![]() 25 Likes |
Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by izzou(m): 1:43am On Nov 14, 2019 |
Pafoma: Everyone has a past bro If you had dated and had sex with her friends, I'm sure you would want her to still stick with you. But then, it's your call. If you know your emotions won't be able to stand this heat, take it outta the kitchen. She may have genuinely changed, but your friends haven't 47 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by baby124: 1:49am On Nov 14, 2019 |
Then why did you chase her and maintain a relationship with her if you knew these things were important to you? If she did not give you a chance now, you will claim that women don’t like good guys. You think you are doing her a favor by dating her? When you are just occupying space in her life. You are still a small boy. Please and please tell her you cannot date someone you know the men she has been with. Then kindly let her go abeg. I am sure a man that loves her has been trying to get her attention, but you are just there blocking it. I also hope for her sake that she has options, so that it will do you like film trick when she marries and you go on and start a #new# relationship. ![]() Never take decisions based on friends. I know a lot of people that have regretted this! Friendships mostly do not last and the person they will influence you to marry, you may just detest the person. Always go with your own choice. 19 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by Pafoma: 2:34am On Nov 14, 2019 |
Vyolet: Thanks for your contribution, these were my exact thoughts when I decided to continue with the relationship especially as i started seeing changes in her but my mind but despite the changes and improvement my mind does not just still have peace no matter how much i try to make it have peace. I have tried many different ways of sparking up the relationship but something just keeps putting doubt and worry on my mind.. The guys are no longer in my circle but i still see them and it will always be like that because we have alot of mutual friends and interwoven circles. I totally get your point but for lack of peace that i have to take that step with her. 5 Likes |
Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by Pafoma: 2:37am On Nov 14, 2019 |
crackhaus: I agree with you but feelings are involved. Believe me, there are way too many ladies i agree but how many are marriage material? We the bachelors know what attains in the market!! 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by Pafoma: 2:41am On Nov 14, 2019 |
Ogbunigwe2018: I didnt know all these when i met her, feelings were already involved before i found out. 1 Like |
Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by Pafoma: 2:43am On Nov 14, 2019 |
izzou: This is my fear, my friends have not changed. Only her and myself so dont want to be dealing with unnecessary stuff after marriage and my story being discussed jokingly over some bottles of beer amongst alcoholics. 25 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by Pafoma: 2:45am On Nov 14, 2019 |
baby124: Don’t quite get this but thanks for your contribution 5 Likes |
Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by izzou(m): 2:56am On Nov 14, 2019 |
Pafoma: Maybe you should let her go. But if you love her, you'll bear the cross(Dont know how to put it) Nobody loves being judged by the past. I'm sure you would love a second chance But it's your call bro. 11 Likes |
Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by mysticgal(f): 5:12am On Nov 14, 2019 |
It saddens me that some people are condemning this lady. Okay, if this was the reverse case I.e a man, would you all allow the lady to marry the man? SMH. From all the op said, it wasn’t casual sex, she at one point ‘Dated’ them but it was foolery so exactly how is this a problem? Besides, he says that the guys and himself are no longer friends. Okay let’s imagine if he doesn’t marry her and he marries someone else, how are you sure op, that people who know the girl wouldn’t talk about you and your spouse over drinks, except she’s a FARGIN . The only problem with I am having with this whole talk is you being restless. If you are, please forget it and let her go too. find someone else. And anybody who is said to be matured ,who has sex with someone wouldn’t talk about shit because that’s what maturity is all about. 19 Likes |
Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by Yinibixema: 5:33am On Nov 14, 2019 |
[s] mysticgal:[/s] Ever heard of okafor’s law? 44 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by crackhaus: 6:28am On Nov 14, 2019 |
Pafoma:Feelings ![]() Baba no do oo. You are not a rehabilitation center. Enough said. 25 Likes |
Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by crackhaus: 6:43am On Nov 14, 2019 |
baby124:Although he stated that he didn't know about it when they first started dating, but even if he knew, nothing wrong with collecting his own share. But on marriage? Bad idea. I don't know the kind of relationships you've been forming all your life for you to boldly claim that friendships mostly do no last. Perhaps this is true with ladies, no surprise there...but definitely not with men. 27 Likes 2 Shares |
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