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Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by Pafoma: 6:49am On Nov 14, 2019 |
mysticgal: Yes no longer friends with the guys but my concern regarding this is that i will from time2time see and meet at some of these guys at events, places or function due to mutual friends,family &circle that still exist. It steals my peace and maybe some-part of my confidence. I am finding it difficult to let her go because i have genuine feelings for her. You and I know that not many guys are discreet and mature about this sex thing, they will spill and spill to boost their ego even about stuff they did not do. The most concern for me is just whether i wont regret the decision to carry on with her or whether she will not one day dissppoint me or herself to let her guards down or get involved with anyone at that. 8 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by Pafoma: 6:50am On Nov 14, 2019 |
crackhaus: Hmm! Had any similar experience? 1 Like |
Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by Pafoma: 6:52am On Nov 14, 2019 |
crackhaus: Yes, the possible talks of ‘na because of woman you ditch you guy and blah blah talk.. because we just grew apart but no fights, beef or arguments with them. Sigh!!!!!! |
Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by Skyfornia(m): 6:57am On Nov 14, 2019 |
Pafoma: How do you think she can prove it and remain steadfast after wedding? Do you have any assurance? Honestly, there is a way men look down on any guy dating their ex, especially when the said ex is someone they didn't value or someone with negative experience. I'm not trying to discourage you, you can go ahead if you think or sure you won't use her past to judge her, or feel unease anytime you remember so so and so person had explored your wife's Bermuda triangle. 5 Likes |
Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by crackhaus: 7:03am On Nov 14, 2019 |
Pafoma:Wait, please give us the details: How did you find out about her history with your friends? How many of these friends has she been with exactly? 4 Likes |
Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by Pafoma: 7:09am On Nov 14, 2019 |
crackhaus: I found out about the guys when i found out she was speaking to one guy that they were involved but hiding it from me after we started dating. The rest of the guys, she told me herself. About 7 guys i know but not all of them i was close to but some are friends of friends. |
Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by baby124: 7:23am On Nov 14, 2019 |
crackhaus:Lol. Friendships don’t last. Male or female. You base your decisions on friends then you are not ready for a serious commitment. Like him, you shouldn’t get into such relationships in the first place. Even if you didn’t know. Once you are aware then you call it quits immediately. Not pretend to the girl and come on NL forming most valuable when she would rather not deal with such immaturity. You are immature. Let me tell you! Many men have married their so called best friends ex! When you see a girl that you want, that you truly love, all these petty and what will the world say trash will not matter. 8 Likes |
Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by mysticgal(f): 7:28am On Nov 14, 2019 |
Yinibixema:That’s the most stupid law that has existed in humanity. A lot of you Nigerians are so good at generalizations it has killed you people, have you met a hundred people who has ever had sex with their ex’s while in a relationship or not? I mean met not I heard. Well, I have met 20 who would never go back or have sex with their ex’s even with guns to their heads...21 if I include myself so drop that stupid law and face reality. Okafors law lo, okorie’s rule ni. When I get to a hundred I would quote this thread. 17 Likes |
Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by baby124: 7:31am On Nov 14, 2019 |
mysticgal:Don’t mind them. Very stupid. They say it with all authority because they are rapists. No normal person will have the guts to beat their chest that they can manipulate or forcefully have sex with an ex. That means they have not moved on and are still obsessed with these girls. Forming all sorts of tactics to sleep with them. Jobless and immature twa*ts. 8 Likes |
Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by mysticgal(f): 7:34am On Nov 14, 2019 |
Pafoma: You have already over analyzed this thing, please let this go. I meet people who I have rolled with and there is no sort of awkwardness. However, I acknowledge the diversity in people so yea, your concern is valid. But then, if I were in your shoes, if I liked this girl, I wouldn’t let her go because first, we all have pasts and ex’s and that shouldn’t bother me, whether his or her ex’s were my friends. But since it takes away your peace, mahn, let her go. Just let this lady go. 4 Likes |
Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by Yinibixema: 7:36am On Nov 14, 2019 |
mysticgal:So you expect those people to tell you that they will go back to their ex? It’s just like when men say they will never cheat on their wives no matter what but end up cheating. Talk is cheap It’s one thing to say sonething and do another thing 12 Likes |
Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by mysticgal(f): 7:39am On Nov 14, 2019 |
baby124:I mean I wondered where the whole law comes from and it made me realize that it is a movie. A Nigerian movie that people has gunned to their subconscious, of all movies, Nigerian movie. Why would I want to have sex with an ex I left. why is the word ex there for. These men on this forum are just....God ![]() 7 Likes |
Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by crackhaus: 7:39am On Nov 14, 2019 |
Pafoma:As a matter of fact I have two personal ones. First one, I was in your position. I dated a chic whom my closest buddy from secondary school used to sleep with, he even introduced us because he wanted me to employ her to work with my organization back then. By the time we started dating, I deliberately informed my old buddy and he told me about their sexual past (he initially claimed they were only friends but finally opened up, and she confirmed it). Well I immediately knew it wasn't a relationship that would lead anywhere and it didn't. The chic even had a bad habit of keeping in touch with exes and I value my peace of mind. ![]() Besides, woman cannot make me and my boy create distance between ourselves. Second one, I was in the position of the friend. A chic I used to have a fling with is now married to another friend. Actually all three of us know each other from secondary school (same secondary school with my closest buddy from the first story). All of us have managed to maintain contact all these years, these are people I have known since 1998. Well, these two got married and I know about every fight and argument they have because she tells me and always threatens her husband with divorce. Meanwhile, her husband (like you) is never at peace anytime he hears her talking to me over the phone or texting me. She actually told me that he constantly suspects her and uses every little opportunity to bring up my name in their conversation during an argument - this is my guy who knew about my history with her before he married her oo, yet he is not at peace. I even had to tell him straight up to stop having crazy ideas, because she and I are done for ever and ever, amen. Sometimes she deliberately mentions me just to manipulate the guy into doing things her way because she knows of his insecurity - they are a funny couple. ![]() See dude, like I said in my first comment, it's all about peace of mind. If you value it, you will avoid complicated stuff like this. But if you feel you can handle it, go ahead. 40 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by baby124: 7:43am On Nov 14, 2019 |
mysticgal:This shows you how shallow in thought they are and how much generalization goes into it. Also why you should not take such labels seriously. 4 Likes |
Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by mysticgal(f): 7:43am On Nov 14, 2019 |
Yinibixema: That is where you are wrong. You’ve already had a concept in your mind and you are acting it out. You already believe that all men cheat so why not, it normal to cheat. Quit the excuses and be a person, normal one for that matter. And no, I don’t expect them to tell me they went back to their ex’s but then these people have standards which a lot of you lack and that’s why you can scream okafors law everywhere. People are called ex’s for a reason, they’ve exited the relationship, the romance, the sex. Just because a few people you heard did it doesn’t mean everyone does. Quit the whole excuses mahn. 2 Likes |
Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by mysticgal(f): 7:43am On Nov 14, 2019 |
baby124:The labels are outrageous, your una people use too much oil, Igbo people like too much money, Hausa people make too much noise. Stupid labels 1 Like |
Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by LordKO(m): 7:44am On Nov 14, 2019 |
It's obvious that her weakness emanates from innate emotional vulnerableness, and not from greed - this means that she's not consciously expedient, despite being susceptible to promiscuity. Her condition isn't curable, but it's very manageable subject to circumstances and provided that she isn't conceited. 6 Likes |
Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by baby124: 7:45am On Nov 14, 2019 |
mysticgal:Labels like Okafor’s law and other crazy generalizations. 1 Like |
Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by mysticgal(f): 7:47am On Nov 14, 2019 |
baby124:Thank you. |
Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by Yinibixema: 7:47am On Nov 14, 2019 |
mysticgal:You know they have standard because they made you believe they had standard. I have seen okafor’s law applied to so many people 5 Likes |
Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by crackhaus: 7:47am On Nov 14, 2019 |
baby124:Story story, normal emotional banter without substance. Leave the immaturity for those of us that don't want anything to do with a friend's ex. Na your immaturity? ![]() I can tell you for a fact that male friendships last because I have those kind of friendships with married and unmarried alike. Speak only about your own reality which is filled with broken friendships here and there, not about anyone else. ![]() Keeping friendships does not mean you will see everyday or hangout every weekend - it simply means keeping in touch such that whenever you meet, it always feels like you never stopped seeing the person. You won't understand what you don't experience anyway. 25 Likes |
Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by izzou(m): 7:50am On Nov 14, 2019 |
Pafoma: Oh bro, you're complicating issues by explaining too much This girl has had flings with your circle in the past. She never denied it, your hommies didn't either. If you love her, and you truly know she's changed, wife her. If you know your don't trust her anymore, or you'll care so much about what your friends think or say, let the babe go. It's that simple Maybe you never loved her that much initially. 13 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by crackhaus: 7:54am On Nov 14, 2019 |
Pafoma: ![]() Now do you see the resemblance of this to that scenario in the second story I shared? These women will still be keeping in touch, that's even the major problem. 21 Likes |
Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by baby124: 7:55am On Nov 14, 2019 |
crackhaus:If all you do is hang out at beer parlour with men that are consumed with sex and reminiscing over sexual encounters, then you need another job or a hobby. It’s actually disgusting to think of. Let me tell you, guys have snatched me from their friends before right from secondary school when we were not giving sex sef. Guys actually don’t care and they are very selfish, much more than girls once they find a girl they like. In fact they can compete and cut off the world to have that girl. Which is really how nature works! ![]() Let me confess here sef, I was kind of snatched as a wife and hubby has changed his circle the moment I agreed. ![]() ![]() ![]() Your wife is probably being paraded by one idiot right now, who she knows she can’t marry. And is using him to pass time. 7 Likes |
Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by Vyolet(f): 8:00am On Nov 14, 2019 |
Pafoma:If all these keep coming to your mind and you are not at peace in your heart, then let her go, get someone else and start all over, you don't want to wake up beside someone you see your friends banging everyday. Cheers. |
Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by crackhaus: 8:02am On Nov 14, 2019 |
baby124:Wetin you dey talk about beer parlor and beer biko? Did I mention anything about beer parlor or having sex gists, you just type anything that enters your head because you want to make a point. I don't even step into beer parlors, drink beer, or have friends with whom to be discussing sexual encounters. Regarding your last paragraph - Don't kid yourself, if your hubby changed his circle after marrying you, then he and those guys were never quite that close to start with, probably just surface friendships. Hot cake ko, Hot manna from heaven ni ![]() 22 Likes |
Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by crackhaus: 8:19am On Nov 14, 2019 |
baby124:Relax, my wife is already with me ![]() 9 Likes |
Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by Pafoma: 8:25am On Nov 14, 2019 |
crackhaus: Thanks for your contribution 3 Likes |
Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by Samyj247: 8:29am On Nov 14, 2019 |
Pafoma your sixth sense is telling u to leave her but ur coconut brain is telling you not to fall her hands because of ur friends, who have been sexing her and gingering her to be good and melow down so u can marry her and then de continue with their nacking secretly. U better get small sense now before it's had I know time. 4 Likes |
Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by Savvywriteprene(f): 8:37am On Nov 14, 2019 |
baby124: Thank you! When you truly love someone, their past or mistakes wouldn't matter to you. Oga, if you love this woman, then proceed with your plans with her and turn dear ears to whatever is been said about her. 1 Like |
Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by Pafoma: 8:41am On Nov 14, 2019 |
Savvywriteprene: And what will you do if you were me and you marry her, fast forward to the future... she gets into a secret relationship, rekindles an old flame especially from any of the guys or just throws all caution to the wind and becomes something else! Dont forget by then, you both will be married with children then... Kindly share, what you will possibly do apart from divorce.. 4 Likes |
Re: Indecisive About My Fiancée That Dated People I Know by cococandy(f): 9:17am On Nov 14, 2019 |
Your crowd must be very interesting for her to have dated a good number of you. I’d advise you to leave her alone so that someone who won’t feel like there’s something odd about the relationship can be with her. You might love her. But not enough for those things not to matter to you. It doesn’t make you or her a bad person but people are different. Make sure you don’t knowingly go into a situation that you won’t be happy about in the near future. 14 Likes |
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