Hello Nairalanders,

I am really in disbelief and in shock hence am writing this here for all to advice me on what to do.

I am a man of 35yrs old and have been dating a lady for three years now and told her this December 2019, my people will come for the traditional marriage having gone for introduction earlier.

After two months of introduction, she became worried and started feeling unease. I told her ok to make things easier and for you to believe I will marry you, I transfered 1.5m into her account for the traditional and white wedding, promising to add more wen we finally draw up the full list.

Then the unexpected happen, we plan going to Aba to get the traditional marriage items last Saturday, which we later purchased but to my utmost disbelief she had accepted another guy by Thursday in case am not serious!

Am shock because during the week of us going to Aba, I had sent 100k into her account by Wednesday to hold for the journey only for her to accept or tell another guy to come. Then by Sunday after the items have been bought, she sent the new guy a txt that she doesn't want again.

My question is, should I continue with her since she could act like this? Should I go ahead with the marriage or call it Off? Pls I need advice.

Please Front page

Tell her to return your 1.5 million immediately or use every means possible to collect it...

I wonder why they love a situation whereby they can eat their cake and still have it SMD

Mumu

This matter strong oo. In isoko boy's voice :"who does that?"

Your fiancee is limping on two opinions. She's very very unstable.

They don't like putting their eggs in one basket. They think they are wise. They end up losing everything. If I were you, I will just leave her. She's not reliable

Is this real or fiction? Your woman is bad oh. Why are you just giving out money to her like that? Are you not suppose to plan together.? You're using money to assure her of your commitment, whereas she was using you as maga. She will only marry you for money and not love, and in marriage, she will use your money to cater for her boyfriends. Better be wise.Only money can't give happiness in marriage.

SmellingAnus:
She has made her choice... she prefers the other guy... Tell her to return your 1.5 million immediately or use every means possible to collect it...

I wonder why they love a situation whereby they can eat their cake and still have it SMD

I doubt if you understood his story.

This is a critical issue that needed to be addressed, have you made any research to know what has transpired bw your girl n the said man ? What attracts her to the man?
For me, I think she needs marriage more than love, and it's very much possible she's hidding her main character from you...

Wow... She already had a replacement for you just in case you don't appear...
Bros pls just move on with your life to avoid an early demise.

Hmm.This is a hard knock to crack.three years is not bad for a courtship leading to Marriage but I may want to ask how old is your woman to feel unease even after introduction has been done and she holding out 1.5.
Though money does not quarentee marriage but she having the 100k for items to be bought by Saturday and thereafter accepting a guy by Thursday speaks volume.
Thank God the items have been bought, am begging for her.forgive her and still go ahead with the Marriage plans.They say the devil you know is better than the Angel you don't know.
Thanks.

zeenaman:
They don't like putting their eggs in one basket. They think they are wise. They end up losing everything. If I were you, I will just leave her. She's not reliable

I guess she experienced something similar and dont want to put all her eggs in one basket or she is being pressured to marry coz of age.

Either ways, what she did is bad.

You have an unstable girl.Not good for your future.
You guys have been together for 3 yrs and she's still not sure where your relationship is going even after introduction?Seems she has trust issues.

You could go ahead to marry her but you will have to deal with her believing you on many issues.
Is the girl that old that she's just desperate to get married?

She don tell the guy say she no want again

Go ahead and marry her bro

Even if you drop her today next lady you're going to meet might be worst than her
They're no perfect person

Beside she didn't sleep with him she only accepted to marry him it might just be a normal chat

For allowing you to see the chat self maybe she just want to let you know say she's hot cake other people are seriously in need of her so that you will fasten up
Me no see it as big deal sha

Bro this kind lady go deh loyal to you las las I mean it

[quote author=infonet247 post=84287147]Hello Nairalanders,

I am really in disbelief and in shock hence am writing this here for all to advice me on what to do. I am a man of 35yrs old and have been dating a lady for three years now and told her this December 2019, my people will come for the traditional marriage having gone for introduction earlier.
after two months of introduction, she became worried and started feeling unease....I told her ok to make things easier and for you to believe I will marry you, i transfer 1.5m into her account for the traditional n white wedding,,promising to add more wen we finally draw up the full list.
Then the unexpected happen, we plan going to Aba to get the traditional marriage items last Saturday, which we later purchase but to my utmost disbelief she had accepted another guy by Thursday incase am not serious!
Am shock because during the week of us going to Aba, I had sent 100k into her account by Wednesday to hold for the journey only for her to accept or tell another guy to come.....then by Sunday after the items have been bought, she sent the new guy a txt that she doesn't want again.
my question is, should I continue with her since she could act like this? should I go ahead with the marriage or call it off?Pls I need advice.

Mynd, Lala....Please Front page[/quote) in relationship, I always advocate for a situation where the lady loves the guy more and the guy have more trust more than the girl. Here you love your girl more and she trust you more, are you suffering from inferiority complex why monetizing your relationship.

IneedSugarMumy1:
She don tell the guy say she no want again

Go ahead and marry her bro

Even if you drop her today next lady you're going to meet might be worst than her
They're no perfect person

Beside she didn't sleep with him she only accepted to marry him it might just be a normal chat

For allowing you to see the chat self maybe she just want to let you know say she's hot cake other people are seriously in need of her so that you will fasten up
Me no see it as big deal sha

Bro this kind lady go deh loyal to you las las I mean it

bro, you talk my full mind here. make the bros let go. she will be loyal las las and maybe she dey feel say things dey go slow and want to hasten the whole process.

Collect the remaining money and return the things you guys have gotten so far to avoid had i know in future

valentineuwakwe:


bro, you talk my full mind here. make the bros let go. she will be loyal las las and maybe she dey feel say things dey go slow and want to hasten the whole process.

Exactly bro

Despite all the introduction,,,,sending of 1.5 mil ooo
Even planning on going for shopping together......she is still not sure....awwww......
She doesn't trust,,,,.
Come to think of it ,she accepted anoda man immediately .throwing ur 3 years friendship to d dust.
U can't kill itself on top woman matter,
1.use a smart and cunning way to collect ur moni first.
2.ask to marry the oda guy...since she can't trust up till this moment.
3.don't allow mumu emotions ,and feeling override ur thinking faculty.....marriage is really a long time to be dealing with an unstable woman that don't know wat she wants
I too dey talk shaa...kpele

Why not sit her down and ask her questions.. The answers you will hear from her will tell you your final say

For me, I think you should go on.

She already has you in mind and also a plan B in case if you disappoint her .

The question here should be, " what if you had disappointed her, what would she feel? "

She has made her choice since she's seen you are serious with the marriage.


Marry her, go on, you have nothing to worry about.

Quoting the Great lyrics of Meatloaf for the oldies

"I would do anything for love, but I won't do that
No, I won't do that"

Mr Man if know what is good for you go and collect ur 1.5m bcuz d lady in question is not trust worthy

One fact is very clear the lady doesn't love you one bit and if you go ahead with the marriage and probably you encounter any little probs after that she won't stay by you cos it's obvious she always have a back up plan in case of any eventuality..

She made sure she had a backup till the very end, a very smart but crafty woman I must add.

I don't disrespect women and I hate to be disrespected. For keeping a side nigga as a backup plan, I will feel disrespected by my woman but I don't know about you bro. It's your call.

valentineuwakwe:
They say the devil you know is better than the Angel you don't know.
Thanks.

This saying is meant for those who are willing to settle for less

This is a serious issue.

But I think one step that can be taken to solve this problem is to sit your fiancee down and ask her some questions. She has some explanations to make.

The two main areas of which she should be asked questions is;

Why would she do such a thing?

Secondly, who is that guy? When did she meet him and how? What has transpired between them until the point that the guy would propose and she would accept?

As for why your fiancee would do such a thing? It could be that she's an unstable and not trustworthy woman who's looking for the BBD (bigger better deal) or who's looking for man who ticks most of the boxes of what she wants in a man (not only money) and then after assessment, she found that man in you or she was influenced by advisers to leave the other guy so as to save herself from shame and what people will say when they get to know what she did.

If this is the case, then you will still be put in a dilemma for you do not know why she eventually cancelled the other guy's proposal.

- Is it that she truly wants you and want no other?

- Or she cancelled it because you have got the money (BBD) and you carry more than that guy even though her heart may be with the other guy?

- Or is it that she accepted you after advice from her people or warnings from her parents asking her not to put their family to shame but her heart is still with the other guy?

If the case is the first one (she truly wants you and no other), then it's quite safe for you to carry on.

But if the case is any of the last two, then you must RUN. Because these are sometimes the cases where you hear that a certain woman was still seeing and having fun with an ex after getting married.

But Secondly, even though it is somewhat a foolish thing to do and this idea itself is somewhat a foolish one to believe, considering how much seriousness and commitment you've shown already, it could be that she was trying not to put all her eggs in one basket and doesn't want to lose out in the end because she so much desires to be married at her age.

This act could be borne out of experience or out of fear. Yes, it is somewhat stupid to do that. But who knows whatever factors could have influenced the psychology of your fiancee and pushed her to do such a thing. Has she been jilted before or has someone promised her marriage and he failed? Or has she had friends or family that such has happened to and it caused her to be in fear and sceptical of your proposal? Or could it be that society, family and friends have said a lot and she's become so desperate to get married?

believe me, the way humans react to things are different. And there are some people that get so touched by incidents that it toils so much with their brains and push them to do stupid things.

So your fiancee needs to be sat down and engaged in a serious conversation so as to discern the truth about her actions.

Then who is that guy? that is another dangerous area.

for the guy to have proposed marriage seems like something has been happening already (not necessarily sex) between them before it got to that stage. And that could mean that while she was dating you, she was also dating the other guy.

And that's a dangerous thing for it shows that your wife has cheating in her character and she could continue with that after you get married especially if her heart is with that guy and not you.

So don't hasten to cut off that engagement, I advise. rather sit your fiancee down and ask her series of questions to discern the truth.

And while doing this, make sure you open your mind and use your sense and not let emotions cloud your judgment.

I repeat, USE YOUR SENSE!!!

My piece!!!

infonet247:
Hello Nairalanders,

I am really in disbelief and in shock hence am writing this here for all to advice me on what to do. I am a man of 35yrs old and have been dating a lady for three years now and told her this December 2019, my people will come for the traditional marriage having gone for introduction earlier.
after two months of introduction, she became worried and started feeling unease....I told her ok to make things easier and for you to believe I will marry you, i transfer 1.5m into her account for the traditional n white wedding,,promising to add more wen we finally draw up the full list.
Then the unexpected happen, we plan going to Aba to get the traditional marriage items last Saturday, which we later purchase but to my utmost disbelief she had accepted another guy by Thursday incase am not serious!
Am shock because during the week of us going to Aba, I had sent 100k into her account by Wednesday to hold for the journey only for her to accept or tell another guy to come.....then by Sunday after the items have been bought, she sent the new guy a txt that she doesn't want again.
my question is, should I continue with her since she could act like this? should I go ahead with the marriage or call it off?Pls I need advice.

Mynd, Lala....Please Front page

When I read posts like I wonder if you guys seek the face of God before taking marriage decisions.

From ur post it is obvious ur lady is dating someone else.
I don't know what to say because such a lady can't be trusted.

A person that struggles to make decisions can be a problem.
Use ur head Bro.

she does not love u.... She only wants to get married.

I don't know how people think, but OP what other sign do you need before you know God is trying to save you from calamity. Tomorrow you'll come here to disturb our peace.

This woman doesn't have any atom of love for you, simple and short.

You did introduction, still sent her 1.5M, yet she is in touch with another. And you're still deliberating if you can spend the rest of your life with this type of partner.

Most ladies only ask for engagement.

My advice, if you go ahead with this marriage, you'll surely regret it. Why? Because, this woman doesn't respect you which means you're liable to die young ones you marry a woman that doesn't respect. Respect is the basic factor that keeps a relationship.

My 2cent, ogwucha ka oha m no unu.

This is a MISTAKE you are about Committing with your eyes widely open.

Save your self years of misery.

When trust is dead ,it can't be restored.

Let her go ,take your time search for another.

Everything happens for a reason and you just dodged a bullet be grateful.

Oyah, see brother, brother 2x
brother where mumu