baby124:
Why can’t you go with her? Don’t you guys plan your holidays You mean you want her to completely forget her roots because of marriage. Well...
If there is enough money then you can plan to go as a family now. Imo and Anambra are not that far. You can spend time in each other’s village and come home together. I don’t see the big deal in all this if this is what you both are into?

how does not travelling during Xmas make you forget your roots,some people in overseas are more culture-oriented than some of you who wine and dine in the village,you people believe na una Sabi everything,those in the city are legbere abi?.. continue

ogawisdom:
Op I don't know why this should be a problem. U seem too clingy why not use the opportunity to enjoy bachelor life again and spend more time with your friends ie if u have any

U sound like a loner really who is clingy

he wants to spend time with his wife and kids during Xmas...any problem with that?

akpunda86:


Anambra z fun during xmas so is my villa infacr iv warned her after this year i no wan hear i wan go xmas for my villa.she is free to go see d mum and siblings but not every xmas.she can go bf the holidays.besides our newborn just six months.infact she is not going anywhere.
I regret marrying from imo state their culture pissing me off now.

Mindfulness:


Yeah, after one year in a foreign country where you have been occupying a little apartment with five other friends, you come back to demonstrate your power shagging someone else's wife feeling like a king for one month to go back to live a life at the bottom of a society for another 11 months so that you have some Naira for Christmas.

PuZZyNegro:


My friend, you are whining.

If your wife traveling to her hometown is the reason you're regretting marrying from IMO state, then you have a problem of not having problem.

It is expected that she travels to her village this season. Reason being that, this is the period her other siblings, cousins, friends, extended family, old school classmates, etc., usually come home. So, a great opportunity to meet with people she has not met for a long time.

In my family, we usually create a year that everybody would travel home including both my married sisters.

Mind you, my brothers married from the same state yet their wife spend the festive period in their fathers' house and we don't have problem with that.

You have her from January to December, it's just this few days that she wants to get refreshed and rejuvenated from the years worth of hard work before another hectic year begins that you know it's harmattan

Enyi a, behave yourself there

most people are missing the point, imagine every person going back to his fathers home for xmas, it means your own mother would also go back to her own fathers place but thats not the case hence this is not balanced

as it been said by someone, the couple should create their own memories of xmas with their own kids, meaning once in while they should have more memories of their xmas with his family not extended family

am not anti visit, one's family be it husband or wife's but dont let be year after year you are spending xmas at your father's house thats a NO

create your own new memories with your wife/hubby kids and new friends your have made your marriage journey and life

@Op enjoy the Christmas with your family. I understand Imo people can jaiye far more than anambra peeps but common, be a man and stand for what you feel ain't right.

You guys ought to be together and kiss on new year.

armyofone:
What is the big deal going to hers or your papa village for Christmas?? Can't y'all stay in your home to celebrate Christmas and new year and create your own memories and legacy ?? Nigerians sef always making a thang out of nothing!
Answer to your question: No- you guys must not travel but stay at home and build your own memories with the kids.

Is this for him, or for his wife?

akpunda86:
Shez 32 sometimes i feel shez not yet matured for marriage.leaving a matured man all alone in d house with d harmattan cold.sometimes i wonder if her village is more important than her marriage.im just watching cos if she cant adapt after 7 yrs of marriage she better think twice. Im from anambra shez imo.

Mtchwww

akpunda86:


Anambra z fun during xmas so is my villa infacr iv warned her after this year i no wan hear i wan go xmas for my villa.she is free to go see d mum and siblings but not every xmas.she can go bf the holidays.besides our newborn just six months.infact she is not going anywhere.
I regret marrying from imo state their culture pissing me off now.

Mtchwwwwwwwwww

akpunda86:


Nwoke leave matter for matter.i wear the shoe so knows where it pains me.my friend married from imo state.the way the woman adapted to our culture.joined all women group hardly u know z from imo.Im a titled chief a title my father conferred on us when we were young.

Why do we basterdize marriage.all thru my life iv nvr seen my mum leave my dad during xmas.she can go to her maternal home everyday but nvr skips food time for dad.This days Honey egwusi soup in plastic microwave it when hungry.
Guy im not happy.

Marry your mum na

You are just creating problems for yourself oga.

Shebi you see this marriage thing ehen, it's a diy thing.
Do it yourself, for yourself and by yourself.

U are creating problems for yourself by looking at how your friend and his wife do their thing.
Whatever works for you and your family, do it.

What you will do is, call ur wife and talk to her about how you would like you all to spend Christmas together.

It will be hard for her to adjust bcuz she's probably used to traveling to the village every Christmas.

Marriage is not by puffing muscle o, communication,love, respect and understanding is key.

akpunda86:

Im not yet sure i wanna go villa.i want to spend time with the kids..She has started asking all her brothers and sis in town when they are travelling.have told me wanna join them.Is not a must ill travel to my village but to me a must that i stay with my family.
IS ALWAYS HAPPY NEW YEAR I HEAR FROM MY WIFE FROM FONE ON NEW YEARS.

Does she travel with the kids or she leaves them in Lagos?

cococandy:
You guys should have Christmas together as a family.
How do you have joy when you’re not together during the most festive time of the year?

In my opinion, if you must travel, then once in a while, travel together to one family for the holidays and then alternate to the other family the next year.

But for the most part , you guys ought to be together as one.

Normally, this is how it's done; u travel as a family to your hometown. By 27, u drive your family to your wife's house. Stay with them that day and go back to your town for various meetings. The wife will attend the ùmùada meeting(home and abroad), between that period, some marriage functions or any other she is obligated to and mostly hang out with family and friends of old.do family meeting etc. A married woman is a formidable force in her fathers house. Settle disputes. Lots of things u will not even finish in few days.
By 31st, u will come for them and go spend the new yr with them at your home town.

crackhaus:

Is this for him, or for his wife?

Don't try to defend that guy at all. He don't know his bearing. Imagine leaving a man in this cold weather,, bla bla bla.

Very annoying. Hate men who whine like old people

You guys should be able to share it out....... for me I follow my husband home and after one week , we will travel to see my mum as well

sassysure:


Don't try to defend that guy at all. He don't know his bearing. Imagine leaving a man in this cold weather,, bla bla bla.

Very annoying. Hate men who whine like old people

Relax, I wasn't even trying to defend him...that comment felt like she was advising him to do what he already wanted to do - which is to spend time with his wife and kids.

Personally I wouldn't make this a big deal, as long as she's not forcing me to go with her.
Heck I'll probably welcome the free time if my woman decides she wants to be with her family during the festivities - maybe I will just end up with my own family & siblings (or friends too) if I get bored, afterall everyone has their roots & I'm no bastàrd, lmao..

crackhaus:

Relax, I wasn't even trying to defend him...that comment felt like she was advising him to do what he already wanted to do - which is to spend time with his wife and kids.

Personally I wouldn't make this a big deal, as long as she's not forcing me to go with her.
Heck I'll probably welcome the free time if my woman decides she wants to be with her family during the festivities - maybe I will just end up with my own family & siblings (or friends too) if I get bored, afterall everyone has their roots & I'm no bastàrd, lmao..

Year in, year out is very unreasonable.

bukatyne:


Year in, year out is very unreasonable.

Even a blind bat would know this without having to read a thread of this nature - this shít is common sense.

crackhaus:

Even a blind bat would know this without having to read a thread of this nature - this shít is common sense.

Which is not common

bukatyne:


Which is not common

At all...

akpunda86:


Anambra z fun during xmas so is my villa infacr iv warned her after this year i no wan hear i wan go xmas for my villa.she is free to go see d mum and siblings but not every xmas.she can go bf the holidays.besides our newborn just six months.infact she is not going anywhere.
I regret marrying from imo state their culture pissing me off now.

See as you dey rant. Simple matter but you men will always escalate it. Are you not meant to love your wife and make her happy? if she loves visiting her family why can't you give her joy by letting her enjoy them during Xmas. You too can visit your own family and both of you can see each other during the period. Nigerian men you guys are too difficult.

ornicus:


You are wicked

Occasionally

See question

crackhaus:

Is this for him, or for his wife?

armyofone:
See question

Valid question, I was confused.

Why does nairaland breed these folks (op and his ilk)?

Very primitive.