Apination:
The simple things in life are usually what gives lasting happiness. You are setting the wrong standards for yourself, what if your Mr accomplished becomes the opposite tomorrow, would he automatically become unattractive? Life is not a Zee world telenovela, wake up and face the reality, there are no made men according to anyone's fantasy anywhere

SouthSouth1914:


I am sorry to say, maybe you were once an undercover call girl. You need to realize men do not owe women anything, same way you have your standards!

I think you are just being addressed the way you carry yourself- A call girl.

PS: Any insult therein is non intentional and hope you don’t take offense!

daviddelly:
after getting married to an ambitious man ,later he will more obsessed about his ambition without giving u love or being there for d kids when u need him ,u will also be d one to open a new account to complain.most guys are poor today because of how the society (Nigeria)is,everyman or guy has an ambition.just hope for a man who will always be dia for u money is not everything true love is.

Harlequeen:
I'm very average in looks, but full of self esteem. Some nairalanders even think i am ugly,but they are entitled to their opinion and poor taste.

pryme:


These are the kind of women am worried about,
Those that think they are perfect.

In other words you will be doing the man a favor by being in his life.
That's a red flag with bright colors.

lilwetdick:


so men living in highbrow areas dont hurt women, they dont chop and run..lol

dennel:
Hi Op! I just think you’ve read n listened a way too much to those relationship talks n all...

Always know dt there’s always a diff btwn theory and reality... ask people who attends motivational speeches (Ts way of the same attributes with relationships and marriage talks) it’s sounds too good but not always real because what works for Mr A may not work for Mr B.

I saw whr you wrote you maybe single @35, adopt n all... well if dts what you wished for yourself, you can have it!

A lot of women will deprive themselves of the joy of marriage bcus of pride, over pompous, ego, and all we do hide under self esteem and respect plus your so called specifications and attributes!

You all forgetting that the country is hard; so if you re lucky to have a silver spoon background why not assist a man you love up instead of giving them names!

My piece: pray n trust God, rebuild your h@ n mind to loving again (delete those blivs and what you read), fall in love, and men 10yrs older won’t make you feel so loved, so you may not really know what’s good for you...

All da best

Laurene:
I'm sure you are one of those online feminists. Are you Poco? Karma don catch up with you.

Harlequeen:
i do not want to make that mistake of helping a man grow up, most men that have that kind of assistance from women resent it on a primal level. Men love women to see them as leaders, not in their weak and broken state. It is why their taste will change when they suddenly make it. I don't want to be coddling a man. I have seen the previous generation make that mistake too many times and ended back to square one, once a man throws them out of the house and marries another. Besides, i did that in my former relationship and experienced for myself that it always ends badly for the woman because she will be pained that she invested so much. I am not saying i won't assist. But he has to make it on his own without financial help from a mere lover.

DanDeeBoss:
Lol..... I told her to try it coz her friends suggested it....

healthserve:



Valid points. But what about the bigger picture and the obvious mistake thats glaring for " us " ( being others ) to see in your assertions Madam?. There's massive flawed logic with your considerations thats blinded to you because of your by-stance approach of handling issues.

Harlequeen:
I don't understand

healthserve:



You're making some very obvious mistakes that has been corrected/addressed so many times on this forum. But, I think I should get out of your thread for " obvious reasons ".


Best of luck

zed7:

Actually, there is a thin line between high self esteem and narcissism. Whilst we think we are the best thing to sliced bread, others may just see us as shíít and avoid us. Learn to be a bit humble, respect all irrespective of whether he is your spec or not.

My elder sister worked in a multinational, was doing good, pretty and all but kept looking for the right man like you. She was very friendly with this semi educated guy who admired her so much. One day he told his cousin about her. He introduced them and he ended up being her dream guy. Even 'fuckboys 'have their purpose.

Do not drop your standards but also realize that sometimes what is good for us is not always what we think is good for us. You are young, don't put pressure on yourself. Just enjoy the company of guys casually. To be honest, I can boldly say you don't understand men yet.

A question to ask is, the people we want, do they want us in return? The best gifts sometimes come in unattractive packages. Stay safe.

Harlequeen:
i do not want to make that mistake of helping a man grow up, most men that have that kind of assistance from women resent it on a primal level. Men love women to see them as leaders, not in their weak and broken state. It is why their taste will change when they suddenly make it. I don't want to be coddling a man. I have seen the previous generation make that mistake too many times and ended back to square one, once a man throws them out of the house and marries another. Besides, i did that in my former relationship and experienced for myself that it always ends badly for the woman because she will be pained that she invested so much. I am not saying i won't assist. But he has to make it on his own without financial help from a mere lover.

luminouz:
Some of these comments got me laughing.


OP...give yourself time and you will find your diamond in the rough.


GrabHi.sBalls babe, I sight you. Hope you good.

dennel:



Good... but rembr there’re guys who re just setting their plans n ambition; I mean you meeting them when they’re not buoyant yet but setting their lives: seen the movie Acrimony before? Let’s forget his worst side spending the woman money n let’s fig out how he was working so hard on the engineering tns n focused; he was broke, broken n at the same time loved... check out the ending story, the whole faults rested on the woman... he never changed all thru

So I’m saying, you need God, you only need an ambitious, balanced n cool man (you won’t c his interest and ambitions from afar), get to know him, be sure he loves you n you love him too...

Table turns; you don’t know! Guys cruising Benz today may become beggers tomao while the broke n broken today wud be in a G wagon supporting the old rich nigga you all are running after today...

God n wisdom is highly needed in situations like this bcus this is an issue dt can may or destroy life! Pls be wise

Harlequeen:
you only see one side of the argument. Remember that acrimony was a very controversial movie, and i do not think her character was wrong. What that man did is enough to make any woman run mad. The man was just not loyal,he didn't see her as worth fighting for when he made it.No matter how focused he is, taraji's mistake was financially assisting and feeding a full grown man for 20 years.

dennel:



Always know dt people will get to their destinations with or without anyone seeing his/herself as their messiah; I think you need more of Jesus right now

GrabHisBalls:
Yeah, how are you?

Harlequeen:
BUT THEN,when you forget the people that made your journey worthwhile, what type of person does that make you.

luminouz:

Lol, I'm fine ooooo...
Been a while.

dennel:


He tried every humanly possible tns to get her back but she was alrdy broken n chosed another path...

Do you even know that when we fixed seeing the bad out of anyone you’ll be blindfolded to the goods?! I think dts one of your challenge now; the first Tn dt will help you is resetting your mind

Harlequeen:
he didn't try every humanly possible thing. He only thought she was good enough for him when he was broke and homeless. How.about coming to get her when he made it. Acrimony is the sad ending that wait for any person who plays the role of come up woman.

GrabHisBalls:
I know. I was busy with exams.

dennel:



Well dts for movie analysts... ain’t one! Only made a close example

healthserve:
While the title of this thread states I don't know what my problem is, has anyone observed that the Op has answers to almost every comments on here. How can one have the answers to their issues and then still don't know their problem!

Guys, stay woke. If the Op comes to the intuit phase knowledge will make itself her guide. For now, I struggle to agree the Op is ready to make adjustments/find out what her problem is. Allow me recommend a professional therapist as someone to speak with ....


Cc Dennel GrabHisballs


And BTW, so many people will get to their destinations without having anyone standing as their messiah in their lives.

Harlequeen:
i sincerely thanked some people for their advice, i didn't answer everyone. I also did say that if anyone had questions or clarifications, that i would answer them and that is what i have been doing. People have given conflicting advice here. It's just discussion. That i am answering people does not mean i am not processing their feedback. Stay woke.

healthserve:



The Op has deeper psychological issues bro. Don't bother. Nothing here or counsel from here would easily work. Some problems cuts deep into psychological, spiritual levels, not to forget deep flawed logic that leads people on a self-assuned path of safety till it cost them more than they realize. This isn't someone you can influence easily as they'll see themselves as hardly wrong, and yes not open to make needful corrections to lead a happy life!



Trust me I know this one. This is purely a psychological issues with the possibility of deeper spiritual background issues and then the obvious " habit " issues, habits that has been applied for so long that has formed the basis of how they apply themselves to life, hence they won't see their actions as wrongs cause over time it has evolved into their embelmic-actions