Sultan5:


Correction, clean closure isn't the way, it is your way. But there are merits to your argument granted. But to insinuate that your way is the only way just sounds off to me.

Not everyone one wants clean closure. And surprise surprise not everyone needs it. There are times you've just had enough and don't really care why they did what they did. As in they have broken a trust so strong and real that it has utterly diminished their importance and reasoning.

You can't toy with people's heart upandan. There's a breaking point where it's just doesn't matter what you have to say. As no excuse no matter how big is enough to absolve you of your misconduct.

Everyone must not react the way you want them to. Just because they don't, doesn't in anyway make them any less right. While you crave closure, the op doesn't care for it as his mind is made up. Learn to step out of your own point of view and try understanding others point of view. You don't have the monopoly as to the right way to do things.

No one could have predicted what she did. And you don't know how it would have played out if he had gone for closure. Knowing the op will refused to take her back. She could have come with poison to threaten him. Claiming to take her own life if he doesn't take her back. Am sure the op wouldn't take her back. Causing her to carry out her threat exposing the op more to legal action than he currently is.

There are many right ways to climb a mountain. But there are mountains that will push the boundaries of your skills. Doesn't mean your strategy is wrong. Just means you're on a challenging mountain.

Thank you..

To be honest Midnighter is a very confused girl and it has become apparent to every single male here.

I engaged her and educated her and she gave up in a matter of speaking.
See here: https://www.nairaland.com/5547427/broke-up-double-dating-girlfriend/24#84396493

I thought it had ended there only to come and see that she is still making threads here.

It is clear. She is doesn't like the OP for ignoring the girl.
She always ends up blaming the op for the actions of the girl.

She has blamed him for the girl cheating on him.

midnighter:


I didn't say that he must have done something wrong, or that it was a justification for cheating. I said that it is possible that he has done something wrong, which she responded to by cheating. In fact I said that twice already, so I don't understand why you keep repeating it.
.

midnighter:


I mentioned it as part of a wider point about closure, which you decided to seize on. I said that he should find out what drove her to do what she did, a possible reason being his doing something wrong. That's just one thing she might say.

She has also blamed him for the girl drinking poison and attempting to kill herself.
It's funny because she acknowledges that the girl is stupid and manipulative but somehow ends those posts where she acknowledges the foolishness and manipulative nature of the girl by blaming the guy for not seeking her definition of closure.

See an example here:

midnighter:


This has nothing to do with being nice or generous.

If he had confronted her and reported her to their family members in the first place he wouldn't be wasting his time visiting her in hospital.

The woman has been whining him with stupid behaviours since he caught her with that guy and he just allowed her continue until the whole thing ended with him and her father in the police station. Is it not the biggest pile of rubbish you have ever heard of

How can the stupid girl show up at your sisters house without informing you after clubbing all night with a strange man and you have nothing to say about it

He couldn't even answer the sister who has been buying clothes for her since, as her baby in-law. Very soon he will bring a new girl without even explaining WTF happened to this one. So your sister should keep buying clothes every time you change girls without any explanation right

No serious person behaves like that. He was just being dramatic to entertain himself and you people giving him morale, simple!

She also makes my point here about being unhappy that the OP is ignoring the girl. She has called the action of the OP ignoring the girl Childish and Infantile. She has called it Cheap Revenge.

midnighter:

The whole thing was extremely childish and totally pointless! He messed up

midnighter:
just devising ways of seeking cheap revenge that will still come back to bite him later.

A man was cheated on. He decides to ignore the girl and move on with his life quietly. Yet, his action which brings no harm to anyone is being called Cheap Revenge. Are we not seeing that there is an agenda here?

The same person has alluded that there is a possibility that his actions might have pushed the girl to cheat on him.

If any of you have seen a comment where Midnighter held the girl responsible or accountable for her own actions post it here.
But she wants the OP to go and talk to her to Hold her accountable in the name of closure

midnighter:

That's the point of talking to her, to hold her accountable for her actions. How do you hold somebody accountable unless you get their points

midnighter:

Advise somebody maturely you people won't...just keep encouraging the wrong thing until he gets himself into more trouble

A man was on his own facing his life and his hustle, nursing a broken heart from a cheating girlfriend. The girl is on her own deciding to cause commotion and confusion and yet, He is the one getting himself into more trouble.

See more evidence here.

midnighter:

Your logical reasoning is lacking, I'm sorry to say.

You want me to salute you for landing yourself in a police station like all the confused nwokoro on this thread, I won't!

Once again she is blaming the OP for the girl's actions.

midnighter:

Instead of you to cut yourself off from the vindictive woman you're here swallowing empty praises from unconcerned bystanders who don't care what happens to you either way.

If she had died from all that rubbish she was doing you wouldn't be here to talk to all your fans and admirers so please humour me!

She wants him to cut her off. He did that

Respect55:
My sister had no answers to these questions and I asker her to call the girl at my presence. She did and told her that I still stand my ground that it is over between us. The phone was actually put on loudspeaker so I could hear her at the other end.

In the presence of his sister no less. Yet Midnighter still blames him for her subsequent actions.
How can she be suggesting that he cut her off and yet she still wants him to go and meet her for closure?

See this midnighter babe is mad confused.

She has an agenda and she blames the respect55 for every single thing that has happened. She wants to influence him to take her course of action and she is covering up her attempt at manipulation under the guise of Logical thinking and seeking closure.

Once again here she is blaming Respect55 for the girl's infidelity

midnighter:


The girl said he did something and instead of him to go and find out what it is he's here discussing with hundreds of people who don't even know them!

How can you say you "don't remember" whether you did something or not How can you know if you have offended somebody unless the person tells you?

Of course he would say he doesn't remember, human beings naturally like to paint themselves in a good light and forget their shortcomings.

Go and find out is different from the cut her off she was suggesting earlier. So which is it?

Once more. More blame for the OP

midnighter:

You can't embarrass me into not saying what I think, OP messed up, kpom kwem! Nobody acts like that, he is not serious!

The challenge is still open. Find me a post where Midnighter held the girl herself accountable for her actions. I'll wait.


She wants the OP to follow her suggestion and she is very sure that her suggestion would have prevented the whole thing. When it comes her way, she is completely sure of the girls actions.

midnighter:

She wouldn't have tried all that if all if this was out in the open. Because he didn't air the issue on time is why she had the guts to spoil his name everywhere.

But how can she be so sure that the girl won't continue the manipulation or still go ahead to drink poison when she sees that the OP is refusing to change his stand, when she has admitted the following before

midnighter:


Am I the two-timing woman Do I know why she may or may not have done what she did?

Someone even replied her and told her that

Sultan5:


Correction, clean closure isn't the way, it is your way. But there are merits to your argument granted. But to insinuate that your way is the only way just sounds off to me.

Even repeated what I said above

Sultan5:

No one could have predicted what she did. And you don't know how it would have played out if he had gone for closure. Knowing the op will refuse to take her back. She could have come with poison to threaten him. Claiming to take her own life if he doesn't take her back. I am sure the op wouldn't take her back. Causing her to carry out her threat exposing the op more to legal action than he currently is.

Guess what. She never replied him.

See at this point, it should become clear to everyone that there is no Logic and reasoning here from Midnighter.
Only an agenda and an attempt to coerce and shame the OP into taking responsibility for actions that are not his and to do something that is not in line with his values.

dannybrasky
I888
Korllami007
tejiri4
rs172
jamesfadairo

WackyJ1 Hahaha. You'd better edit that last part, since that person wasnt talking to me. Then your stupid thesis will be complete

midnighter:
WackyJ1 Hahaha. You'd better edit that last part, since that person wasnt talking to me. Then your stupid thesis will be complete

You have been championing for clean closure since.

The man's statement applies to you as well.

WackyJ1:


You have been championing for clean closure since.

The man's statement applies to you as well.

Youre trying so hard to sound smart and failing. You wrote "Someone even replied her and told her that" and "Guess what. She never replied him" when the person quoted somebody else and not me.

Instead of correcting yourself, youre trying to cover up.

Thats why I cut the conversation short in the first place, because you werent making sense.

WackyJ1:
To be honest Midnighter is a very confused girl and it has become apparent to every single male here.

I engaged her and educated her and she gave up in a matter of speaking.
See here: https://www.nairaland.com/5547427/broke-up-double-dating-girlfriend/24#84396493

I thought it had ended there only to come and see that she is still making threads here.

It is clear. She is doesn't like the OP for ignoring the girl.
She always ends up blaming the op for the actions of the girl.

She has blamed him for the girl cheating on him.





She has also blamed him for the girl drinking poison and attempting to kill herself.
It's funny because she acknowledges that the girl is stupid and manipulative but somehow ends those posts where she acknowledges the foolishness and manipulative nature of the girl by blaming the guy for not seeking her definition of closure.

See an example here:


She also makes my point here about being unhappy that the OP is ignoring the girl. She has called the action of the OP ignoring the girl Childish and Infantile. She has called it Cheap Revenge.



A man was cheated on. He decides to ignore the girl and move on with his life quietly. Yet, his action which brings no harm to anyone is being called Cheap Revenge. Are we not seeing that there is an agenda here?

The same person has alluded that there is a possibility that his actions might have pushed the girl to cheat on him.

If any of you have seen a comment where Midnighter held the girl responsible or accountable for her own actions post it here.
But she wants the OP to go and talk to her to Hold her accountable in the name of closure




A man was on his own facing his life and his hustle, nursing a broken heart from a cheating girlfriend. The girl is on her own deciding to cause commotion and confusion and yet, He is the one getting himself into more trouble.

See more evidence here.


Once again she is blaming the OP for the girl's actions.



She wants him to cut her off. He did that


In the presence of his sister no less. Yet Midnighter still blames him for her subsequent actions.
How can she be suggesting that he cut her off and yet she still wants him to go and meet her for closure?

See this midnighter babe is mad confused.

She has an agenda and she blames the respect55 for every single thing that has happened. She wants to influence him to take her course of action and she is covering up her attempt at manipulation under the guise of Logical thinking and seeking closure.

Once again here she is blaming Respect55 for the girl's infidelity


Go and find out is different from the cut her off she was suggesting earlier. So which is it?

Once more. More blame for the OP


The challenge is still open. Find me a post where Midnighter held the girl herself accountable for her actions. I'll wait.


She wants the OP to follow her suggestion and she is very sure that her suggestion would have prevented the whole thing. When it comes her way, she is completely sure of the girls actions.



But how can she be so sure that the girl won't continue the manipulation or still go ahead to drink poison when she sees that the OP is refusing to change his stand, when she has admitted the following before




Someone even replied her and told her that


Even repeated what I said above


Guess what. She never replied him.

See at this point, it should become clear to everyone that there is no Logic and reasoning here from Midnighter.
Only an agenda and an attempt to coerce and shame the OP into taking responsibility for actions that are not his and to do something that is not in line with his values.

dannybrasky
I888
Korllami007
tejiri4
rs172
jamesfadairo

U have all the times in ur hand.

WackyJ1:
To be honest Midnighter is a very confused girl and it has become apparent to every single male here.

I engaged her and educated her and she gave up in a matter of speaking.
See here: https://www.nairaland.com/5547427/broke-up-double-dating-girlfriend/24#84396493

I thought it had ended there only to come and see that she is still making threads here.

It is clear. She is doesn't like the OP for ignoring the girl.
She always ends up blaming the op for the actions of the girl.

She has blamed him for the girl cheating on him.





She has also blamed him for the girl drinking poison and attempting to kill herself.
It's funny because she acknowledges that the girl is stupid and manipulative but somehow ends those posts where she acknowledges the foolishness and manipulative nature of the girl by blaming the guy for not seeking her definition of closure.

See an example here:


She also makes my point here about being unhappy that the OP is ignoring the girl. She has called the action of the OP ignoring the girl Childish and Infantile. She has called it Cheap Revenge.



A man was cheated on. He decides to ignore the girl and move on with his life quietly. Yet, his action which brings no harm to anyone is being called Cheap Revenge. Are we not seeing that there is an agenda here?

The same person has alluded that there is a possibility that his actions might have pushed the girl to cheat on him.

If any of you have seen a comment where Midnighter held the girl responsible or accountable for her own actions post it here.
But she wants the OP to go and talk to her to Hold her accountable in the name of closure




A man was on his own facing his life and his hustle, nursing a broken heart from a cheating girlfriend. The girl is on her own deciding to cause commotion and confusion and yet, He is the one getting himself into more trouble.

See more evidence here.


Once again she is blaming the OP for the girl's actions.



She wants him to cut her off. He did that


In the presence of his sister no less. Yet Midnighter still blames him for her subsequent actions.
How can she be suggesting that he cut her off and yet she still wants him to go and meet her for closure?

See this midnighter babe is mad confused.

She has an agenda and she blames the respect55 for every single thing that has happened. She wants to influence him to take her course of action and she is covering up her attempt at manipulation under the guise of Logical thinking and seeking closure.

Once again here she is blaming Respect55 for the girl's infidelity


Go and find out is different from the cut her off she was suggesting earlier. So which is it?

Once more. More blame for the OP


The challenge is still open. Find me a post where Midnighter held the girl herself accountable for her actions. I'll wait.


She wants the OP to follow her suggestion and she is very sure that her suggestion would have prevented the whole thing. When it comes her way, she is completely sure of the girls actions.



But how can she be so sure that the girl won't continue the manipulation or still go ahead to drink poison when she sees that the OP is refusing to change his stand, when she has admitted the following before




Someone even replied her and told her that


Even repeated what I said above


Guess what. She never replied him.

See at this point, it should become clear to everyone that there is no Logic and reasoning here from Midnighter.
Only an agenda and an attempt to coerce and shame the OP into taking responsibility for actions that are not his and to do something that is not in line with his values.

dannybrasky
I888
Korllami007
tejiri4
rs172
jamesfadairo

She just want to the OP to feel guilty and nothing else.

Manipulative girls generally have that trait.

midnighter:


Youre trying so hard to sound smart and failing. You wrote "Someone even replied her and told her that" and "Guess what. She never replied him" when the person quoted somebody else and not me.

Instead of correcting yourself, youre trying to cover up.

Thats why I cut the conversation short in the first place, because you werent making sense.

Loool.

Now you're just flat out lying.
You stopped the conversation because I pushed you to the Logical point and you had nothing else to say.

I have pointed out all the flaws in your arguments thus far on this thread and exposed your true position.

Your only rebuttal is that I made the mistake of attributing a reply made to someone else to you.

Even though you agreed with the person and accepted the compliments the person showered on you.
And even though what the person said can be directly applied to any of your comments thus far of this thread as far as they concern "Closure". Which you yourself cannot deny mentioning, several times for that matter.

I am here and available if you have any other Logical counter to any of the other points I have mentioned.

Let's see the full extent of your Logical capabilities here.

WackyJ1:
You stopped the conversation because I pushed you to the Logical point and you had nothing else to say

Nah...I stopped the conversation because you were literally quoting me and just writing whatever you felt like, without reference to what I had told you before. I realised from your replies that you were totally incapable of debate, so it was pointless to continue with you.

Anybody who follows that link you posted will be able to see that my dear. I'm glad you posted that one first. Thank you

WackyJ1:
Your only rebuttal is that I made the mistake of attributing a reply made to someone else to you.

Yeah, and my rebuttal is completely reasonable but for some reason, you are still unable to understand it. Funny According to you I am "confused" and have an "agenda", yet you refuse to remove a glaring fallacy from your own post, just to serve your own agenda! If you are confident in what you have written, there is no need to lie or misrepresent facts.

But because you want to appear "intelligent" to all those people you tagged, you wont go back and correct your error. So you just keep digging yourself into a deeper hole even though we both know that there is no justification for lying that I refused to answer somebody when I didnt.

According to Your Royal Highness I should show you the full extent of my logical capabilities, when you yourself have shown repeatedly that you are hopelessly unable to digest any form of logic.

WackyJ1:
Now you're just flat out lying.

WackyJ1:
To be honest Midnighter is a very confused girl ... She has an agenda and she blames the respect55 for every single thing that has happened. She wants to influence him to take her course of action and she is covering up her attempt at manipulation under the guise of Logical thinking ...

Writing lies, defending them when confronted and manipulating facts in order to influence the audience, but still rushing to accuse somebody else of doing just that. I guess you must be aiming for a career in politics.

Too bad youre too incompetent to engage in a debate, but I guess that never stopped any of them

I888:


She just want to the OP to feel guilty and nothing else.

Manipulative girls generally have that trait.

They are not hard to identify. She has been blaming op for every single action the girl takes from the onset.

Samcent:

I thought I was the only one that saw that.
However, my mind is telling me something oh...

Meanwhile, Respect55 did I read that her mum said a short prayer for you?
E be like say the babe family even commend your maturity. Family begging things might also be in the package for you.
Please, maintain a peaceful and cordial relationship with her family.



Much respect to you. Cheers!

I strongly disagree. Cut all relationships - cordial or otherwise with the family. If not, it will hunt all your future relationships. Close that chapter in your life and move on. That which you don't intend to eat, do not savour the aroma.

I am angry that the girl never addressed her betrayal and cheating, she never took responsibility, but only gave a general "I'm sorry for everything". That's an insult. This further convinced me that the whole suicide thing was an emotional manipulation attempt.

@respect55

if you check my initial post, i advised u never to go back.
But after going through the whole thing, i think is time to return to her.

Bro, that girl is your wife. forgive and marry her immediately.
she comes from a good home. u have to forgive her.
i have zero tolerant to a cheating lady.
This girl love you and from good family, and u genuinely love her too.
Forgiveness will make your home a perfect one.
is difficult to find a good girl nowadays.

i think she has learnt enough lesson.
i plead on her behalf. Don't worry, the love will return.

frankike1:
@respect55

if you check my initial post, i advised u never to go back.
But after going through the whole thing, i think is time to return to her.

Bro, that girl is your wife. forgive and marry her immediately.
she comes from a good home. u have to forgive her.
i have zero tolerant to a cheating lady.
This girl love you and from good family, and u genuinely love her too.
Forgiveness will make your home a perfect one.
is difficult to find a good girl nowadays.

i think she has learnt enough lesson.
i plead on her behalf. Don't worry, the love will return.

What evidence do you have of all these your assumptions - that she truly loves him or that she comes from a good family? Is it because of her attempted suicide.

You guys have no idea how manipulative some girls can be, especially desperate ones. I have had a girlfriend stab her own hands with a kitchen knife, after I insisted the relationship was over. I had tie the hand and took her to a chemist for dressings and treatment. I did not mistake that as love but emotional blackmail. I had to scheme how to leave the relationship safely. It was not easy.

I have not seen evidence to show that the lady was truly in love with respect55. Maybe if he gave further details on the nature of the relationship, but from what is written here, I have not seen sacrifices made by the lady.
Love must involve sacrifice on both sides.

frankike1:
@respect55

if you check my initial post, i advised u never to go back.
But after going through the whole thing, i think is time to return to her.

Bro, that girl is your wife. forgive and marry her immediately.
she comes from a good home. u have to forgive her.
i have zero tolerant to a cheating lady.
This girl love you and from good family, and u genuinely love her too.
Forgiveness will make your home a perfect one.
is difficult to find a good girl nowadays.

i think she has learnt enough lesson.
i plead on her behalf. Don't worry, the love will return.

You are spot on. I think the Op should forgive her and give her a second chance. We all deserve a second chance if you asked me.

Respect55, I take back what I said pertaining to not checking what happened with the lady/ not reporting to family/sister on what happened. I didnt remember this until WackyJ5 brought it up (Though what he wrote to me in that link he posted https://www.nairaland.com/5547427/broke-up-double-dating-girlfriend/24#84396493 was still wrong, because that conversation happened before you got back to us later on and said this) :

Respect55:
Back to my thread. I went to see my elders sis this night too after which she assured me that she had come and gone because I told her that I won't come if she was there. When I got there, she is gone truly.

My elder sis narrated everything she confessed to her and she kept it real . Kudos to her for that. Then my sister told me that we were to get back to her this night to know what I'm still saying . That she told her that that particular day was the first she did that and she never knew I would meet them there. My sister told me as well that she was the one that chose outside instead of going to the guy's house. That the guy has been asking her to come to his house.

I told my sister not to believe her. Was she not the one that gave the guy her number?
Why didn't she tell me that someone was asking her out?
Why would she go for a date without my notice?
My sister had no answers to these questions and I asker her to call the girl at my presence. She did and told her that I still stand my ground that it is over between us. The phone was actually put on loudspeaker so I could hear her at the other end.

Immediately my sister told her my stand, she could say anything again. I was sure she broke down, or so I thought. My sister shouted "hello" for few times but there was no response. So I took my leave

My grouse was you not giving your girlfriend a chance to explain herself, her side of what happened that day or what her problem/reasons were, which you actually did and she didnt take it.

The bolded satisfies my conditions; she could have aired any issues she had in mind at that point, but she failed to which led to your actual break-up and not an open-ended fizzling out of your relationship, which is what I thought it was.

Such is what irritated me with you and the other posters; I thought they were just coddling you without urging you to go and clear up the issue while she continued with her antics (which some of them were, prior to your update).

I apologise for missing this information in my further comments on your situation on Saturday, starting from here:

https://www.nairaland.com/5547427/broke-up-double-dating-girlfriend/25#84486798

midnighter:


She is just trying to manipulate the situation, how can they report him to the police when he hasnt done anything? Did he tell her to go and drink poison

When I said that he should calmly disentangle himself from this girl you people were on my neck...now look at it.

What effrontery, the dad even said he should tell it to the police lol. They want to start rubbish this December now

That comment (precisely the bolded) and subsequent comments were written in error, assuming that you just left the relationship like that without following up on the girl or going over the situation with your family/sister, which you did.

This was the closure I was angling for; consequently the girl's recent behaviour cannot be attributed to the way you handled her indiscretion and your present stance on the matter is justified.

Once again, I apologise and will go back and modify my comments accordingly in due course.

WackyJ1:
To be honest Midnighter is a very confused girl and it has become apparent to every single male here.



See at this point, it should become clear to everyone that there is no Logic and reasoning here from Midnighter.
Only an agenda and an attempt to coerce and shame the OP into taking responsibility for actions that are not his and to do something that is not in line with his values.

dannybrasky
I888
Korllami007
tejiri4
rs172
jamesfadairo

Bro.. 1 thing I've learnt girls in this cheating game is that, the girls always support eachother and feel no remorse in their actions, they believe they shouldn't be any reaction from the male side to their actions,and the man should be able bear their mistakes, that why you see that dunderhead(midnighter) suggesting closure.

midnighter:
Respect55, I take back what I said pertaining to not checking what happened with the lady/ not reporting to family/sister on what happened. I didnt remember this until WackyJ5 brought it up (Though what he wrote to me in that link he posted https://www.nairaland.com/5547427/broke-up-double-dating-girlfriend/24#84396493 was still wrong, because that conversation happened before you got back to us later on and said this) :



My grouse was you not giving your girlfriend a chance to explain herself, her side of what happened that day or what her problem/reasons were, which you actually did and she didnt take it. The bolded satisfies my conditions.

I apologise for missing this information in my further comments on your situation on Saturday, starting from here:

https://www.nairaland.com/5547427/broke-up-double-dating-girlfriend/25#84486798



That comment (precisely the bolded) and subsequent comments were written in error, assuming that you just left the relationship like that without following up on the girl or going over the situation with your family/sister, which you did.

This was the closure I was angling for; consequently the girl has no excuse and your present stance on the matter is justified.

Once again, I apologise and will go back and modify my comments accordingly in due course.

being observing this thread......I applaud u 4 taking back ur words.......silence is a fatal weapon use it wisely.....op I stan

WackyJ1:



Guess what. She never replied him.

See at this point, it should become clear to everyone that there is no Logic and reasoning here from Midnighter.
Only an agenda and an attempt to coerce and shame the OP into taking responsibility for actions that are not his and to do something that is not in line with his values.

dannybrasky
I888
Korllami007
tejiri4
rs172
jamesfadairo

It is unnecessary to waste your time on such people. No matter how glaring it is even for the blind to see that the girl in question is an emotional disaster in the life of the o.p.
The supporter of iniquity is quite disappointed o.p hasn't gone on hunger strike,or gnashing his teeth in pain due to the situation on ground. Different strokes for different folks. People handle situations differently,some catch their ladies in bed and still choose to forgive and move on,when some people see them as mumu,some see them as heroes. As for me,o.p is a legend abeg. I have been there done that,ex cheated on me 3 times I forgave her after trying to commit suicide and professing her yeye love with cries and mucus sweating and crying under the sun on the street in the midst of the public.Guess what? Aunty still left me to go marry,leaving me shattered like a mug. With many conditions,high heart rate,high blood pressure,internal bleeding with couple of sleepless weeks.
Ever since then,I don't even need to see it,all i need do is just smell CHEAT and I'm gone. My heart is extremely precious,A CHEATER WILL REMAIN ONE,SAME APPLIES TO A THIEF. If she truly loved him like the supporter of iniquity has been hammering,why cheat on him in the first place? Ignore the devil's advocate,birds of a feather always flocks together.

O.p your ex is a manipulator,run for your life,they don't change believe me,you might not be lucky to catch her in the act any longer. It wasn't flesh and blood that revealed her atrocities to u,it was God. ( SHALOM)

Respect55:
The mum called me few minutes ago that she has been discharged from the hospital and is doing pretty fine. I said thank God. She asked me to hold on that she wants to talk to me, i kept my cool becuase I don't like disrespecting me elders.
She:Hello dear,
Me:Hi
She:I'm back from the hospital. I'm sorry for everything.
Me:No problems
She: So tell me, when are you coming to our house?
Me:There will be no need for that.
She: Really?
Me: Sure.
(The line went dead at the other end)
After some second ;
She: Can I come to your house?
Me: Don't worry about that. It won't be necessary either. You know this.
She stopped talking so I waited for like few seconds and ended the call.

I think that will be all.

women!!!!!! still called im dear just bcuz u tried to commit suicide he has forgiven u?
ya sorry 4 everything. ...OP just leave dis one...I blive she would do better in her next relationship. ...gracias

dannybrasky:


It is unnecessary to waste your time on such people. No matter how glaring it is even for the blind to see that the girl in question is an emotional disaster in the life of the o.p.
The supporter of iniquity is quite disappointed o.p hasn't gone on hunger strike,or gnashing his teeth in pain due to the situation on ground. Different strokes for different folks. People handle situations differently,some catch their ladies in bed and still choose to forgive and move on,when some people see them as mumu,some see them as heroes. As for me,o.p is a legend abeg. I have been there done that,ex cheated on me 3 times I forgave her after trying to commit suicide and professing her yeye love with cries and mucus sweating and crying under the sun on the street in the midst of the public.Guess what? Aunty still left me to go marry,leaving me shattered like a mug. With many conditions,high heart rate,high blood pressure,internal bleeding with couple of sleepless weeks.
Ever since then,I don't even need to see it,all i need do is just smell CHEAT and I'm gone. My heart is extremely precious,A CHEATER WILL REMAIN ONE,SAME APPLIES TO A THIEF. If she truly loved him like the supporter of iniquity has been hammering,why cheat on him in the first place? Ignore the devil's advocate,birds of a feather always flocks together.

O.p your ex is a manipulator,run for your life,they don't change believe me,you might not be lucky to catch her in the act any longer. It wasn't flesh and blood that revealed her atrocities to u,it was God. ( SHALOM)

You de mind those that say she love him that's why she wants to commit suicide. They no nothing.

Prazo1:


women!!!!!! still called im dear just bcuz u tried to commit suicide he has forgiven u?
ya sorry 4 everything. ...OP just leave dis one...I blive she would do better in her next relationship. ...gracias

I have already wished her well

Korllami007:


You de mind those that say she love him that's why she wants to commit suicide. They no nothing.

They know nothing at all.
forgive a cheating partner but yes she must go,if you really love me you will not hurt me and hurt my feelings.

Op cut all ties with the families of the silllly girl,change church and move on with life.

Yes hussle i mean hussle well and make money because anytime she sees you she will always be miserable and guilt will eat her up.
my only concern is she may attempt suicide and this time she might not be lucky ciao

KiidaACE:
Reading this just made me feel so angry for you bro ...
I've always had a serious problem feeling and returning affection.. I'm like so distant emotionally, Most times end up driving everyone away with my attitude..

Reading stories on this forum and now yours also?
I'm really starting to believe i don't have a "problem".. The way I'm wired might probably be my biggest blessing from God..

I honestly don't know how you feel right now but one thing I can say is you're one very matured dude.. You handled it like a real gee should..

Believe me, it would've been way more easy for her if you'd just blown up right there and then but the "silence" and "walk away" shit? Meehnn, you best believe her status about wanting to commit suicide cause the sound of silence in matters like this is most times deafening..

Just cheer up okay?? There are still good ones out there.. You dodged a bullet, take that as a positive..

KiidaACE:
Everyone's mind is wired differently and react to shock differently also..
Some people tend to let the pain,fear or whatever out immediately whilst others just become rooted to the ground and outright speechless..

He was the last person she'd ever expect to see there and according to the op, she was shell-shocked, speechless and rooted to the ground..

If you've ever watched the CBS show CHEATERS, you'll know that they most times act on the offensive or do outright nothing and try to minimize the shame as much as possible by running away from the wronged partner..

Her seeing him there and the guy introducing her as his girlfriend, meant she knew she was fvcked already.. She might probably tell herself ;"fvck him, my new guy is better" but this is definitely a way to water down the fire of shame burning in her and believe me, such fires can't be quenched completely.. It just requires a "getting home with a sober mind", a "lying on one's bed" and "reflection on previous happenings" to let all the emotions flood right out..

If they both truly had good memories, and the op honestly didn't wrong her in any way or did right by her in the entire relationship, then be rest assured she's devastated hence her status update on suicide should def be taken seriously..

I still think the other guy planned it though.. He probably found out and decided to humiliate the op.. Dude was most probably laughing inside when he introduced her .. Trust me, people can be real petty..

Hey bro @ Respect55..
Just recently saw your recent updates and had to bring my previous posts back.. I said to take her threats of suicide very serious even before it happened and that is because I know how this always ends..

Silence is a very dangerous weapon when used in certain situations, way way way more deadly than violence.. It causes the wrongdoer zero peace of mind and that bro is torture in itself.. This fear of the unknown or in your girlfriend's case;"total regret", accumulates with each passing thought and makes the person emotionally unstable especially if he/she shared something very deep with the person he/she wronged and this most times leads to suicidal thoughts on the very weak minds. Their reason is majorly to grab the attention of that person they wronged.. That is how broken they are..

Now, there are certain people that wouldn't be bothered even with your silence which can never be the case for a person that truly felt something for you or care about you.. Your ex girlfriend no matter how stupid she might have been in all this, feels something big for you and that is why she's so devastated..
Only a certain kind of closure which emanates from dialogue Can water down these emotions which was what '@midnighter" was trying to say, though she probably wasn't going at it the right way..

I love your maturity in all this though and if you want nothing to do with her ever again, nobody has the right to say anything to you.. It's your life and your sanity, how you handle it should be no one's business..

In all this though, I noticed you have forgiven her but haven't gotten down to having that dialogue with her at the moment.. I understand..
We're humans and most of us do things we will never be proud of. We're all prone to making mistakes one way or another and if you decide never to have anything to do with her cheating ass ever again, nobody, I repeat; nobody has the right to question you.. It's your life.. We can only chip in our own piece of advice in the end and you can choose to take it or ignore it, it's totally fine either way..

My own last piece of advice would be; Try and sit with her and have that dialogue.. Though her actions might have been manipulative but it just goes to show how weak her mind is.. She should've summoned the courage to come immediately after that shit happened and have this dialogue with you but she didn't and that is where I have a problem with her..
You must have really loved her and this must have really hurt you bad but you can end this by having that dialogue with her and hear what she's got to say for herself..
She attempted to kill herself, that is as bad as it can get so do it for her sanity and for yours also..
Do it not for the purpose of taking her back but for the reason that we all are humans and should watch out for each other if its within our power..
I shouldn't be saying this last part though because I've left so many myself that I'm certainly not proud of due to my gigantic ego but try not to leave a broken soul in your wake,if you can..
Goodluck bro

frankike1:
@respect55

if you check my initial post, i advised u never to go back.
But after going through the whole thing, i think is time to return to her.

Bro, that girl is your wife. forgive and marry her immediately.
she comes from a good home. u have to forgive her.
i have zero tolerant to a cheating lady.
This girl love you and from good family, and u genuinely love her too.
Forgiveness will make your home a perfect one.
is difficult to find a good girl nowadays.

i think she has learnt enough lesson.
i plead on her behalf. Don't worry, the love will return.

I can forgive any other thing but cheating.If a girl I'm moving out with catches me cheating too, I won't even go to ask for forgiveness, I know Roth there that that is it.
I have already taken my stand long ago. There is no going back there.

wirinet:

What evidence do you have of all these your assumptions - that she truly loves him or that she comes from a good family? Is it because of her attempted suicide.

You guys have no idea how manipulative some girls can be, especially desperate ones. I have had a girlfriend stab her own hands with a kitchen knife, after I insisted the relationship was over. I had tie the hand and took her to a chemist for dressings and treatment. I did not mistake that as love but emotional blackmail. I had to scheme how to leave the relationship safely. It was not easy.

I have not seen evidence to show that the lady was truly in love with respect55. Maybe if he gave further details on the nature of the relationship, but from what is written here, I have not seen sacrifices made by the lady.
Love must involve sacrifice on both sides.

I won't give any further information on that because it's not why I posted this. But to fair to her, she had sacrificed her own little way. I will say the relationship was heavenly prior to this. If it were not, would I have talked of settling down with her?

bayulll011:



They know nothing at all.
forgive a cheating partner but yes she must go,if you really love me you will not hurt me and hurt my feelings.

Op cut all ties with the families of the silllly girl,change church and move on with life.

Yes hussle i mean hussle well and make money because anytime she sees you she will always be miserable and guilt will eat her up.
my only concern is she may attempt suicide and this time she might not be lucky ciao

At bolded.
It's even worse in the case of op. The man she's claiming that she loves; another guy introduced her as his girlfriend in the presence of her lover, but she acted as if nothing happened and went to club with the guy, slept over in his place. Abeg, which kain love be that? If she truly loves him, conscience won't let her spend another minute with the other guy. What I see here is that she has already seen op has a weakling in which op is far from it. She believed whatever happened, she would still find her way back to op's heart but op na Mr. No nonsense.

Your last paragraph is what I will suggest for op to do.

KiidaACE:


Hey bro @ Respect55..
Just recently saw your recent updates and had to bring my previous posts back.. I said to take her threats of suicide very serious even before it happened and that is because I know how this always ends..

Silence is a very dangerous weapon when used in certain situations, way way way more deadly than violence.. It causes the wrongdoer zero peace of mind and that bro is torture in itself.. This fear of the unknown or in your girlfriend's case;"total regret", accumulates with each passing thought and makes the person emotionally unstable especially if he/she shared something very deep with the person he/she wronged and this most times leads to suicidal thoughts on the very weak minds. Their reason is majorly to grab the attention of that person they wronged.. That is how broken they are..

Now, there are certain people that wouldn't be bothered even with your silence which can never be the case for a person that truly felt something for you or care about you.. Your ex girlfriend no matter how stupid she might have been in all this, feels something big for you and that is why she's so devastated..
Only a certain kind of closure which emanates from dialogue Can water down these emotions which was what '@midnighter" was trying to say, though she probably wasn't going at it the right way..

I love your maturity in all this though and if you want nothing to do with her ever again, nobody has the right to say anything to you.. It's your life and your sanity, how you handle it should be no one's business..

In all this though, I noticed you have forgiven her but haven't gotten down to having that dialogue with her at the moment.. I understand..
We're humans and most of us do things we will never be proud of. We're all prone to making mistakes one way or another and if you decide never to have anything to do with her cheating ass ever again, nobody, I repeat; nobody has the right to question you.. It's your life.. We can only chip in our own piece of advice in the end and you can choose to take it or ignore it, it's totally fine either way..

My own last piece of advice would be; Try and sit with her and have that dialogue.. Though her actions might have been manipulative but it just goes to show how weak her mind is.. She should've summoned the courage to come immediately after that shit happened and have this dialogue with you but she didn't and that is where I have a problem with her..
You must have really loved her and this must have really hurt you bad but you can end this by having that dialogue with her and hear what she's got to say for herself..
She attempted to kill herself, that is as bad as it can get so do it for her sanity and for yours also..
Do it not for the purpose of taking her back but for the reason that we all are humans and should watch out for each other if its within our power..
I shouldn't be saying this last part though because I've left so many myself that I'm certainly not proud of due to my gigantic ego but try not to leave a broken soul in your wake,if you can..
Goodluck bro

I appreciate all your care and concern. I really do. Now let me clarify somethings :
1. If she had valued me more than that boy, she wouldn't have sat down there and watch me leave without standing up and following me. I'm talking of the night I saw them. The whatsapp Pic and videos the guy did was after I had left and she actually posed-negating the fact she was disturbed I caught her.
2. I stopped taking midnighter serious the very time she started abusing me and others Asa way of driving home her points. Who does that?
3.Midnighter posited that there is the possibility that I wasn't doing something right or that she was keeping silent enmity with me that made her do what she did. But all along, there is nothing like that. All she asked for is for forgiveness that she wronged me, not that I did something bad.
4.All along, she haven't said who the boy was to her. It was even the last time the guy came to get Pam slippers that I got to know that he is from same state with the girl.
5. Some mistakes aren't just mistakes, they live with us for ever.
6. How come no one is talking about my healing process and my state of mind amidst these troubles? I feel lonely and devastated and people still have the mind to make me feel worse.

I have heard you, but I'm sorry.

Prazo1:

being observing this thread......I applaud u 4 taking back ur words.......silence is a fatal weapon use it wisely.....op I stan

midnighter:


Nah...I stopped the conversation because you were literally quoting me and just writing whatever you felt like, without reference to what I had told you before. I realised from your replies that you were totally incapable of debate, so it was pointless to continue with you.

Anybody who follows that link you posted will be able to see that my dear. I'm glad you posted that one first. Thank you



Yeah, and my rebuttal is completely reasonable but for some reason, you are still unable to understand it. Funny According to you I am "confused" and have an "agenda", yet you refuse to remove a glaring fallacy from your own post, just serve your own agenda! If you are confident in what you have written, there is no need to lie or misrepresent facts.

But because you want to appear "intelligent" to all those people you tagged, you wont go back and correct your error. So you just keep digging yourself into a deeper hole even though we both know that there is no justification for lying that I refused to answer somebody when I didnt.

According to Your Royal Highness I should show you the full extent of my logical capabilities, when you yourself have shown repeatedly that you are hopelessly unable to digest any form of logic.





Writing lies, defending them when confronted and manipulating facts in order to influence the audience, but still rushing to accuse somebody else of doing just that. I guess you must be aiming for a career in politics.

Too bad youre too incompetent to engage in a debate, but I guess that never stopped any of them

Listen. I made a mistake in at that post.

Fine. The error was that I said Sultan5's reply was to you when it wasn't.

I have admitted that error but I maintained that since you and that person he was referring to shared the same point of view, agreed with one another and even exchanged compliments that what he wrote applies to you.

I refused to change it because the mistake had been made already and you've seen it.
The mistake did not detract from my point not the general logic of my comment, so it changes nothing whether I leave it there or not.

In the entire post pointing out your...
confusion,
incoherence,
subtle manipulation,
blaming the OP and
Contradictions

Which I buttressed with facts and examples of your previous comments in This thread.

The only thing you have continued to point out is that I made a mistake which I admitted to.

It means you have nothing against the other things I wrote there and have only chosen to look at the weak link.

Which only makes you look weak.

You have replied every single guy here but when it comes to me.

midnighter:


Nah...I stopped the conversation because you were literally quoting me and just writing whatever you felt like, without reference to what I had told you before. I realised from your replies that you were totally incapable of debate, so it was pointless to continue with you.

Looks like someone who is defeated.

I am happy that you have seen where I also pointed out a comment that you missed where he clearly told the girl off in the presence of his sister.

Good to see that you had already apologised.

While also admitting that you were insulting the OP based on incomplete facts because you were not observant enough to read all his replies.

But agenda must agend

Korllami007:


At bolded.
It's even worse in the case of op. The man she's claiming that she loves; another guy introduced her as his girlfriend in the presence of her lover, but she acted as if nothing happened and went to club with the guy, slept over in his place. Abeg, which kain love be that? If she truly loves him, conscience won't let her spend another minute with the other guy. What I see here is that she has already seen op has a weakling in which op is far from it. She believed whatever happened, she would still find her way back to op's heart but op na Mr. No nonsense.

Your last paragraph is what I will suggest for op to do.

God will bless you. She indirectly chose the guy over me by allowing him do the introduction without reacting. If she had valued me, she wouldn't even mind interrupting the guy and correcting him that she just went on a date with him that I am the boyfriend. She never did that.
No one is talking about that

Respect55:

God will bless you. She indirectly chose the guy over me by allowing him do the introduction without reacting. If she had valued me, she wouldn't even mind interrupting the guy and correcting him that she just went on a date with him that I am the boyfriend. She never did that.
No one is talking about that

Bro.

We are on your side. Shebi finally after 200 years midnighter has finally seen that the girl she was defending could not open her mouth to say anything in your presence.

Yet was pushing the blame of her actions into you. And was calling your actions "Childish".

200 years.

Please do whatever it takes to heal.

Take care of yourself.

Your mental health is important too.

The emotional and attention vampire tried to take all the attention for herself with her stunts but good thing they haven't worked.

My prayer is that in the future, you won't run into such girls again

Damn!!! This is my first time of commenting on NL.... OP, na man u be ooo.... Am a lady and honestly u av really tried..... Move on with your life ooo, God will be with you.... I salute you..