freecocoahubby:


Thank you! I'm so sick of women's double standards and victim playing.

The woman kept following her husband up and down like a mad dog, shouting and insulting him - and he's expected to just sit there and keep silent like a veggie?

He is a human being and he reacted just like most people would... so annoyed that he was begging her sef, like she's some diety. Nonsense!

did the wife make him bleed? Or what are you comparing? You wouldn't say this if she fell dead. Or maybe you would. You would want to hear his side of the story that justifies drawing blood or murdering her. I hope if a woman drew blood you would agree and not say she took it too far and lacks "respect."

Guy, is this the first time Youre beating her? If yes...my brother leave her alone, she has been looking for an opportunity to leave....her parents no better.

Ekene161829:
I did something I really regret. My wife and I have an amazing marriage, 2 years of marriage and we are blessed with a 7-month-old baby girl.

She is 28 and I almost 33. Last Saturday I got invited to go out by some of my work friends , I got home late 2am, so madam wasn't happy. She was yelling at me, throwing hands and screaming at me. I ignored her and left the room to the living room but she followed me and I asked her to leave me alone but she kept going which made me angry.

I took the back of my hand and gave her a slap on the mouth. She cried out and held her face and started crying and her lips was bleeding. I didn't intentionally hurt her, I just wanted to calm her down since ignoring her was not working. I said sorry, and I was literally on my knees begging her. I tried to hold her but she refused.
The rest of the night was me repeating apology or i didn't mean to hurt you. She ignored me . She went into our room and locked the door.

She was in there for a long time and the next morning, her mother and older brother was at the house and she came out of the room with her and our baby stuff and she said she was leaving me for good. I told her how sorry I was but her mother told me to get out of their faces and they left the house.

I feel so ashamed and I've never done anything like this before and I never thought I would. I don't want to loose my wife and baby. I need both of them back. Should I attempt to contact her?

What do I do?

Start paying child support and move on with your life.

Guy, is this the first time You are beating her? If yes...my brother leave her alone, she has been looking for an opportunity to leave....her parents knows better.

patjane:
Mr man go beg ur wife.. if you take all this useless single faceless men talk here you’ll regret it later....

since you want to play the upper hand card, what does a divorced, single dad have to regret in r/ship market. if op & his wife are to remarry today who has a higher chance.

LilMissFavvy:
How would you have felt if it was your wife who hanged out with her friends and came back by 2am? Any married man or woman who does things without considering the other partner is immature or simply wicked. Your wife's brother should have slapped you back, or is he a weak man? He should have slapped you ensuring that you bleed from your mouth and nose. As for your wife, continue to call her, send messages, give her more time, she will heal and return to you. It's very shameful that her brother was there and did not defend her, by slapping the st-pi---y outta your brains.

How about him receiving a slap to calm him down?

Ladycewhy:
these ones here are willing to throw their own sisters under the bus to maintain their bro code just so you know.

We don't have a sister with obvious anger problem or a spoilt brat. You choose not to assimilate where she was throwing her hand @ OP or where she turned to a dog barking, following him everywhere even when he left the room for the sitting room ( a sign of maturity). I do not support domestic violence and I do not pray to be in such situation.

spencekat:
Yes,the woman was wrong by provoking him,but he would not have slapped her.

Yes, I said that in my post.

He shouldnt have slapped her at all!! But

- He has already apologised. At the end he cannot take the slap back, all he can do is apologise some more. So why not accept the apology or refuse to accept it UNTIL he agrees not to stay out until 2AM again instead of throwing the baby out with the bathwater?

- Is she actually going to tell her mother and brother what transpired or will she just tell them that "we were arguing and he slapped me"? Because she too will be ashamed of herself if her family really gets to hear the story

- Your mother and brother will still eventually come to see your presence as an irritation and ask you when youre going back

The genesis of the problem is that he stayed out until 2AM and left her with the baby and NOT that he slapped her! At the point when he came back late, she was totally blameless and she should have kept it that way if she knew she was going to involve her family in their issue. I would have accepted it if she reported him to her family over that alone if it were a repeat occurrence.

The golden question is, who pursued who here ? Did he go and look for her to slap her or did she go looking for slap

And people saying that "she could have fallen, she could have died" etc yeah! And he could have developed hypertension from constant nagging and shouting. Thats why they should both apologise to each other and keep each other alive mbok

Dear Op, sorry for the phase you are passing through.

Firstly, you are wrong for hitting her. women know how to push you to hit them either through their mouth or they come physically to challenge you.The ability to hold yourself in such circumstance makes you the bigger winner. The moment a woman start their excess and quarrel or wants me to engage them with words I will just tell you that you have won already, no need for battle.

If I were in your shoes I would have quietly leave the house and go to a nearby hotel to sleep till the next morning. I love my peace of mind and I would never trade it for anything. When coming back the next day I will buy her ice cream/Sharwama/barbeque fish to plead to the gods(my wife). If she rejects it I will eat everything without blinking my eyes. I am sure this will get to her.

You still need to apologize to her once more, but trust me this is the best time to lounge in your house. lol. For the fact that the mother and the brother came to move her outta my house i will not go to their house to apologize.

Women should should take it easy on men. You need to be out there in the street to pick the money. I have made good contacts(CEO's, decision makers, business men/women) playing snooker in some corporate bar/settings. For me staying out late sometimes is not bad, what is bad is making it a lifestyle or habit. Staying at home won't pay pilling bills; she will also be the one to abuse you and tell you how useless you are as a man. If you are a baller, let her know and understand that.

Cheers!!!!

RisenPhoenix:
You have apologised more than enough. I would advise that you forget her mother and go and explain yourself to her father with your dignity intact (don't grovel like you did with your wife). Ask him for his verdict and let him give you a timeline to come back for his response. Let him do all the work. If they decide that she is to come back, tell her in the presence of her family that you do not expect her to ever again call them into any disagreement in your home. Also inform her that as a man, you have a right to bro time once in a while and she should never again disrespect you by yelling and shouting at you as if you are a small child. If she has a problem with anything you do, she should learn how to express it in a mature manner.
Meanwhile, if she decides that she wants a divorce; as she seems to be somewhat childish; give it to her amicably and take care of your responsibilities towards the child.

By the way, having said that, I also think that 2 am is a bit excessive for a responsible married man to be coming home. And you should not ever hit your wife again no matter the provocation. If she follows you around next time, just leave the house for her and go stay in a hotel overnight, that will be the last time she would ever do it (from experience).

how do you know the apology is enough when it was not you whose mouth was hit and bleeding? I'm sure you wouldn't say this if it was the man whose face was hit.

Ladycewhy:
Have you heard of the term "blood boil"?that is a rush and its called adrenaline and it can become consistent with pattern of behavior.


I strongly disagree, so let me rephrase your comment "any one can get angry but not everyone reacts violently".

Lets even the steps that led to the back hand slap.

The op went out, it was getting late, a responsible man who is not in the habit of staying out late will definitely inform his wife about the development, i am sure they both have phones, i am assuming he should have called to let his wife know he will be staying out that late ,atleast if it were me i am sure i will be worried sick about my husband and be checking in every 30mins cos i personally hate staying out late, too many dangers lurking in the dark. If this aspect was sorted i doubt she will be that upset ,infact na gist for follow .


Now he came home ,she was upset,yes i know it can be difficult to calm a situation like that down,but instead of addressing it he decided to ignore ,wishing it will go away, when he saw it didn't work out he decided to use physical assualt.


This is the pattern i am concern about,that op ignored and switched to physical assault, until he learns to stop ignoring issues and seek for solutions before he looses his temper this pattern will continue.

You make nice points but blood boil happens to everyone once in a while and while not everyone lashes out violently, they still react in some ways.

I agree OP should have called his wife. To tell her he would be late. Lemme tell you a scenario that happened to me. I had this babe who was pretty,big assed and everything. But she smokes and drinks. I never knew on time. When she came to stay with me for a week, na when kasala burst. She went out one day and came back oozing of alcohol and shisha. I was disgusted and yelled at her. She went mad. Raised her voice and was shouting my house down. Looking at her with disgust, I left her. She followed me around the house and hooked my shirt(which was a taboo where I come from). I never knew when I pushed her away from me and she fell on the bed. She came right back at me under the influence of alcohol and screamed she would kill me. For the first time in my adult life,I almost beat her but I remembered my strength and I knew I may seriously wound her plus the fact that she wasn't in her right senses and left her in the room, slept in another room.

Next day,she came to knock on my door and she was on her knees begging. I just smiled and gently told her to pack her stuffs and leave my house. She has been begging me since. I realised the logical thing was to let her go because a girl like that could potentially push me to beat her one day. Nobody would get my side of the story because I'm a man. Yet she came back drunk 3 times already,begged and I forgave her. The scenario I told you of, was the 4th time.

I know OP gave her a slap and he was wrong but she did wrong too by inviting her mum and brother,not to reconcile but to leave the marriage. Two wrongs never make a right.

Guy go and talk to your wife's father...

nairalanduseles:


And you think that is right.....that you have no self control .......you need to re evaluate your life.......fear or intimidation does not amount to respect.......I have kids and I have NEVER hit them ......and they respect and love me genuinely........do not let the society u live in make u act like an animal.....you Will be ashamed of yourself when you start talking w/o civilized people...

my parents correct me with the cane and I respect them. no one have the right to behave the way they like. this modern practice of making kids feel too special has ruined this generation. we know have selfish kids who are too lazy, too stupid and too proud to succeed in life. today kids have no regards for rules and superior authority.
some people are now taking the stupidity they inherited from their parents house to marriage. it is now okay to behave the way they like.


I forgot to add those with self-control don't nag aggressively

speed99:
Hmmm. this is tough
Thing is more of an altercation, a wrangle, a one-off loss of decorum. It can happen, perhaps under the influence of alcohol and pent-up anger. Your wife should know better. Again, more disturbing is the speed at making decision, a decision to exit the house with your child.
Have you made a mistake, Yes. Did you show remorse? is this error habitual? How can your in-laws invade your home and just take decisions?
Be a man, show love and support, but their daughter should be with them for a while, till everyone learn their place

You're the man nikka
How about henny this weekend? Bills on you tho

[s]

OgaBuhari:
na u dey fucck freecocoa?

[/s]

Ekene161829:
I did something I really regret. My wife and I have an amazing marriage, 2 years of marriage and we are blessed with a 7-month-old baby girl.

She is 28 and I almost 33. Last Saturday I got invited to go out by some of my work friends , I got home late 2am, so madam wasn't happy. She was yelling at me, throwing hands and screaming at me. I ignored her and left the room to the living room but she followed me and I asked her to leave me alone but she kept going which made me angry.

I took the back of my hand and gave her a slap on the mouth. She cried out and held her face and started crying and her lips was bleeding. I didn't intentionally hurt her, I just wanted to calm her down since ignoring her was not working. I said sorry, and I was literally on my knees begging her. I tried to hold her but she refused.
The rest of the night was me repeating apology or i didn't mean to hurt you. She ignored me . She went into our room and locked the door.

She was in there for a long time and the next morning, her mother and older brother was at the house and she came out of the room with her and our baby stuff and she said she was leaving me for good. I told her how sorry I was but her mother told me to get out of their faces and they left the house.

I feel so ashamed and I've never done anything like this before and I never thought I would. I don't want to loose my wife and baby. I need both of them back. Should I attempt to contact her?

What do I do?

From your write up, you have apologized but the truth is that your wife went too far, hitting a woman is a no no no. But right now she is very very angry. Let me equally remind you that you married an immature lady,she would have handled that situation since it's the very first time. Subsequently becomes abuse,so she went too far.
Let her be for this week, don't call or text her,what you will need to do is by Monday or so, call her and apologize again and tell her about the sweet memories you both have shared.
If she truly loves you,the anger would have melted,she will accept. If you have some change on you,get her one of the things she loves most, please next time never you raise your hand on any woman, good luck

emeijeh:
Your wife went too far for calling her people (after your very first slap)
What happened to the "no third party interference" sermon on your wedding day?

But Op, are you sure you have not hit or beaten her before that day?

Just keep apologizing.
She has to come back.

Thats d trash that has sent alot of women to their untimely grave, no 3rd party my foot..pls tell anyone that needs to hear..same applies to husbands..tell anyone u feel needs to know so as to intervene

Dupalmer:
In as much as I don't support domestic violence, your effort at apologizing and sincerely promising not to repeat it is more than enough to make you guys come back to normal if she's a reasonable woman.
don't call or beg her anymore else she will see a good stance to manipulate your sorry ass forever.
She will come back in a matter of days if you ignore her but if she doesn't, find a way to make yourself happy. You can't kill yourself over a trouble she ignited. She will loose if she tries to make it a hard or competitive game.

There are many ladies young and old with very good character that will be willing to marry as second, third and even fourth wife.

hi,plz where can I see these good character ladies willing to marry.I am ready and ripe for marriage.

Seriously Bro u are wrong and u should continue to apologise what if she hits her head and die would u have the opportunity to type here? No....so please continue to apologise to your wife (real men do that). Don't listen to people telling you to leave her cos u will end up regretting it for the rest of ur life, as for your wife she shouldn't have involve your inlaws whatsoever happens between couples should be resolve between em....unless the wall is cracked, the lizard can not go in....May God restore your home....remember, never raise your hand on your wife again.

Mod which kain confusing front page topic is this, am having headaches reading it

maryjames9:


Off course Blue film. You don't have real relationship. Na only for on top your laptop you dey ease yourself.

Exactly!!!

Is it not better than entertaining nagging bitches all the time?

[quote author=niaralandtopuser post=84953947]my parents correct me with the cane and I respect them. no one have the right to behave the way they like. this modern practice of making kids feel too special has ruined this generation. we know have selfish kids who are too lazy, too stupid and too proud to succeed in life. today kids have no regards for rules and superior authority.
some people are now taking the stupidity they inherited from their parents house to marriage. it is now okay to behave the way they like.


I feel sorry for you
So you think you have the right to hit anyone
It is assault
It is criminal
You think there is no law in Nigeria till u get arrested and charged to court
Spend all your money in court and end up in jail
Your life will so turn for the worst
A word is enough for the wise

[quote author=freecocoahubby post=84941418]

Thank you! I'm so sick of women's double standards and victim playing.

The woman kept following her husband up and down like a mad dog, shouting and insulting him - and he's expected to just sit there and keep silent like a veggie?

He is a human being and he reacted just like most people would... so annoyed that he was begging her sef, like she's some diety. Nonsense! [/quote
It could be he didn't even tell her

crackhaus:

Will this be after you have written your own undertaking to never raise your voice to shout, scream, or yell at your husband?

does shouting, screaming or yelling(not physical) equate to slapping/punching and drawing blood(physical violence)? In your haste to justify domestic violence, don't forget to use proper situations that are similar.

midnighter:


Yes, I said that in my post.

He shouldnt have slapped her at all!! But

- He has already apologised. At the end he cannot take the slap back, all he can do is apologise some more. So why not accept the apology or refuse to accept it UNTIL he agrees not to stay out until 2AM again instead of throwing the baby out with the bathwater?

- Is she actually going to tell her mother and brother what transpired or will she just tell them that "we are arguing and he slapped me"? Because she too will be ashamed of herself if her family really gets to hear the story

- Your mother and brother will still eventually come to see your presence as an irritation and ask you when youre going back

The genesis of the problem is that he stayed out until 2AM and left her with the baby and NOT that he slapped her! At the point when he came back late, she was totally blameless and she should have kept it that way if she knew she was going to involve her family in their issue. I would have accepted it if she reported him to her family over that alone if it were a repeat occurrence.

The golden question is, who pursued who here ? Did he go and look for her to slap her or did she go looking for slap

And people saying that "she could have fallen, she could have died" etc yeah! And he could have developed hypertension from constant nagging and shouting. Thats why they should both apologise to each other and keep each other alive mbok

Good counsellor.

Sammiejokes:


We don't have a sister with obvious anger problem or a spoilt brat. You choose not to assimilate where she was throwing her hand @ OP or where she turned to a dog barking, following him everywhere even when he left the room for the sitting room ( a sign of maturity). I do not support domestic violence and I do not pray to be in such situation.

oh well i guess you do have irresponsible brothers and violent beasts in your family like the op then, the ones who instead if calling their wives and informing them of the development of them staying out late will lock up, i am sure the wife must have be calling his phone and he refused to pick time he got home at 2 am, when he showed up at the door was smelling of alcohol, i mean the op didnt stay out late to be drinking coca cola or fanta ,lol. In a state of partial or full drubkeness he probably felt he didnt owe his wife any explanation and she didn't have the right to be upset,hence he kept ignoring her and when he couldn't bear the yelling he dicided to shut her up with physical assualt .

freecocoahubby:
The woman kept following her husband up and down like a mad dog, shouting and insulting him - and he's expected to just sit there and keep silent like a veggie?

Thank you! So where did the slap materialise from if not that she went and looked for him..mtchew!

Two things would happen if she didn't react that way;

1. You would make it a habit to hang out with friends and come back home at odd hours thinking its cool.
2. It will become NORMAL to raise your hand on your wife. Na so e take dey start, (someone said "just a slap", the next time na beating e go be.


Give her some time and try visiting her and talking things through with her. As a matter of fact, you owe her family an apology.

Ekene161829:
I did something I really regret. My wife and I have an amazing marriage, 2 years of marriage and we are blessed with a 7-month-old baby girl.

She is 28 and I almost 33. Last Saturday I got invited to go out by some of my work friends , I got home late 2am, so madam wasn't happy. She was yelling at me, throwing hands and screaming at me. I ignored her and left the room to the living room but she followed me and I asked her to leave me alone but she kept going which made me angry.

I took the back of my hand and gave her a slap on the mouth. She cried out and held her face and started crying and her lips was bleeding. I didn't intentionally hurt her, I just wanted to calm her down since ignoring her was not working. I said sorry, and I was literally on my knees begging her. I tried to hold her but she refused.
The rest of the night was me repeating apology or i didn't mean to hurt you. She ignored me . She went into our room and locked the door.

She was in there for a long time and the next morning, her mother and older brother was at the house and she came out of the room with her and our baby stuff and she said she was leaving me for good. I told her how sorry I was but her mother told me to get out of their faces and they left the house.

I feel so ashamed and I've never done anything like this before and I never thought I would. I don't want to loose my wife and baby. I need both of them back. Should I attempt to contact her?

What do I do?

There's no need blaming you, the deed has been done, learn from your mistake.
Is your wife a nagging type?

If I were you, I would ignore my wife and her mother, at least you apologize in their presence. Maybe she's her role model. Is your father Inlaw alive? Is he still with your mother Inlaw?

Ignore your wife and her mom, find a way and contact her brother that came with them and hear what your wife told them. Plead with the guy. If that guy didn't say anything when they came and if after contacting him he still refer you to her mom then know that your mother Inlaw is a big time manipulator.

It's unfortunate that they have drawn a battle line in your home.

[quote author=nairalanduseles post=84954029][/quote] not many people go to jail in Nigeria just for hitting someone and there must be many Nigeria rules you are breaking

spencekat:
Good counsellor.

Thank you sir

niaralandtopuser:
not many people go to jail in Nigeria just for hitting someone and there must be many Nigeria rules you are breaking

Am not in Nigeria and I am happy I dont live with people like you who think it's ok to hit people ....it is sickening