Once I know I'm an option,im walking out... On
God!

If I sense I am falling for a girl too much, I run because that means I would be at her mercy.

I always prefer for the balance of power to me in my favor always. Chase money, never chase a bitch.

Women will fvck you up if they sense that you love them.

OP, run away from that relationship & hug your hustle.

You my friend is one desperate Fella!

There is no way you will win over a guy who
- agrees to a no sex relationship
- has houses and cars
- lives abroad
- who has already captured her attention and that of her Mom & Sisters (Dads no get problem)

Bro even your own sister cannot leave such guy, you are fighting a lost cause!

Your emotions are getting a hold of you because you come in contact with her at the office daily.

That abroad guy will beat you to this game bruh, Your heart break is coming soon

Some guys Sha. I don't know what is wrong with some guys this 2020.

You dey see red light, u still dey put head.

You came to seek advice on NL to break up with your ex, now you are back for more advice on whether you should move ahead with a new girl

You will still return for advice when you want to break up with this one, and furthermore when you want to get engaged, and even more advice when you want to get married, it is still NLers that will tell you when to impregnate your wife and when to enroll your child in school

If you are not mature enough to think for yourself, without seeking the advice of total strangers on your life decisions, then you are not mature enough to date at all.

Like someone said, grow a pair and stop running to the internet for validation. Your Ex doesn't know what God did for her to remove such an adult baby from her life. When she finds a real man that doesn't need validation from virtual people, she will be thankful.

I hope you have smashed her? That girl is going back to her man and you're just one brother wey.....

I just feel at the end you gonna lose all the 3points not even a draw. when you see someone physically and communicate regularly there is this affection that starts developing and this i think is happening between both of you. if she can still be so much affectionate about a guy she has not seen for years believe me you the moment they both set their eyes on each other the narrative will change and you'll just become a passer-by

chukzyfcbb:
You my friend is one desperate Fella!

There is no way you will win over a guy who
- agrees to a no sex relationship
- has houses and cars
- lives abroad
- who has already captured her attention and that of her Mom & Sisters (Dads no get problem)

Bro even your own sister cannot leave such guy, you are fighting a lost cause!

Your emotions are getting a hold of you because you come in contact with her at the office daily.

That abroad guy will beat you to this game bruh, Your heart break is coming soon

I can’t even date any girl in the same place I work.

How do people do that sh!t?

The OP is playing a losing game as that girl will smash his heart. OP is just an option. I can never give anybody the pleasure to have me as an option, I must always be the “prize”—even if the girl is from the village.

Erediauwa:
"She had told me she has a guy outside the
country who she said want to marry her, she
loves him but then, she doesn't know what is
going on because she can't seem to get over
me and she said she knows it's not infatuation."
















This is simply the "betrayal of trust" and a bitchy attitude from her.





Didn't she know that the dude hustling abroad was uneducated before saying "yes" to him?

And you Op, you're still putting your big head into another man's compound with the hope of chasing him out?

Damn dude, she sees you as the assistant technology boyfriend.

"Commot your hand for soldier man salary"

Erediauwa I don't know who gave birth to you but I'm happy for them, they gave birth to an intelligent man


I don't know why educated and learned guys fall in the hand of these disloyal dogs. just imagine a lady had a date but want to leave the guy for you, then what give you the confidence she won't later leave you for someone else
?

MrHighSea:
I read sm1 saying, "guard her", " be territorial".
Kai.

I pray mek bizness boom because of girl.
Ekwensu bu onye iberibe.

Girl carry me put for list and I agree to stay,
Mbanu
Tufiakwa

Guy, I don't know you, u sound educated but a crucial Manly attribute is lacking.

PLEASE, no matter how pretty, rich, educated, connected, virtuous, lovely a girl is, your self-worth is far more impt. Imagine 23yrs old undergraduate. Dont compete for a girl's hand in marriage. This is not 1820 Africa. Keep ur logical insights abreast.
Damn niggar.

YOU EVEN KNOW SHE HAD 8 PPL ON THE 4KING LIST.

Well, mek una wed, IV me i go still chop rice.

Better Talk, Don't be an Option!
If things go haywire,you won't like yourself.
Love,but use your head

Once again,Don't be an Option, Be smart.

Be a Man

Mr Brother, Should I call this a self esteem issue or what. How do guys still go for ladies who tell you they have someone on the sideline? Why would you chose to be an option. Bros when and if the obodo oyinbo brother comes around this babe who follow forget all this your she lobe you I love am....

Yes she ticks all your boxes but calm down she also had made a choice earlier on with the obodo brother and her family is aware of the choice. With her actions its very clear you can't put this goat in your house cause when she sees another yam she would chow(I could be wrong sha ooo) or you also don't plan on going on courses or travelling that could cause distance between you both.

Oga take a step back lemove lobe from your eyes and think deeply. The person that spoil another person own so his own would be better hmmnn I don't know the outcome oooohhjj

safarigirl:
You came to seek advice on NL to break up with your ex, now you are back for more advice on whether you should move ahead with a new girl

You will still return for advice when you want to break up with this one, and furthermore when you want to get engaged, and even more advice when you want to get married, it is still NLers that will tell you when to impregnate your wife and when to enroll your child in school

If you are not mature enough to think for yourself, without seeking the advice of total strangers on your life decisions, then you are not mature enough to date at all.

Like someone said, grow a pair and stop running to the internet for validation. Your Ex doesn't know what God did for her to remove such an adult baby from her life. When she finds a real man that doesn't need validation from virtual people, she will be thankful.

You completely avoided the subject at hand & adviced him not to seek advice on NL from his brothers who will never lead him astray. Why now? Is it because you know that guys here will not lead him the slaughter house that you girls always want guys to go to?

Men are not robots who derive pleasure in getting hurt by women all the time. Let us all advice the OP objectively.

NL is the best place to get advice on matters of the heart—excluding of course, delicate marital matters.

Huchennar:
I just feel at the end you gonna lose all the 3points not even a draw. when you see someone physically and communicate regularly there is this affection that starts developing and this i think is happening between both of you. if she can still be so much affectionate about a guy she has not seen for years believe me you the moment they both set their eyes on each other the narrative will change and you'll just become a passer-by

Bless YOU,bless You.

The way the girl go break your heart without thinking twice en,fear go catch you.

Women no get joy,even if you give them heaven and Earth., dem fit discard you anytime, anyhow.

Forget love,we have seen it all.

Nawa

Sikay19:

This is too much for me to read this morning. I will comment when i get the summary of the whole story from the comments section. Btw, try to proofread your post next time, too many typo errors herein, good morning.

If only u point out the errors and made corrections I would have love it , u claimed u didn't read it how come u are seeing errors? U got the message the dude is trying to put across anyway, beside I don't see much errors which can prevent one from not being able to peruse the write up, u have people who studied English on this platform and I believe u didn't , so stop the over sabi. U can never speak the language like the original owners nor will the original owner claim to be a professional in it , language we are meant to understand is dynamic English inclusive. If u know what's speech art theory and register in language u will learn not to pull people off their feet . The president of US Donald Trump made a mistake when it comes to his language usages which is English , if u claim ignorance of it I will bring it on this platform because I once did.

Bros leave all those yarnings, there's no crime in loving another person's gf, after all, u don't know or have any relationship with d supposed Yankee bf, no girl is single, if she's not in a relationship, she must have someone she admires or one who makes her happy without responsibilities. If ur feelings for her is genuine all u need do is dissuade her from further communications with d other guy, who knows if he even has her in his plans. Go and do introduction first if u can afford it, when she graduates in less than 1yr u tie d knots, by then your finances should have soared high like u want, I'm sure her parents would prefer u to d other 'invisible' bros and u have prospects that wouldn't take long to materialize. I've a pastor who is celebrating 14years of blissful marriage to a lady who was engaged to another man when he met her. He "disengaged and reengaged" her. Lol. Invite me to your wedding bros.

Lamanii22:



Amen... Amen... In Jesus' name... You're very much welcome..

I think you're the one for me.. I just feel it deep down.. Can I contact you privately?

So people like you dey spoil the girls wey we de hope to marry for naija mind, after we don invest and take care of them your type go just start telling them that we have other girls and the whole a bird in hand worth a million in the Bush nonsense.

Let me advice you to advice the girl. Tell her to stay away from you and you do same if you claim you love her.

The guy is younger, built houses, has a business, lives abroad that means he can take her abroad after marriage, their children lives are certain unlike the uncertainty in Nigeria. The guy is not as educated but I am sure he has some education and I bet my balls he is more exposed than you because he has seen the world and and how diverse it is, that alone pass that your IT degree or java that anyone can learn on YouTube.

My guy you don't stand a chance against the guy except the girl na mumu or here village people dey on her case.

Nigeria and this I am very educated nonsense. Se na those Nigerian universities una de call school or those yeye secondary school. Higher education is specific to a career can a doctor build bridges? So you sabi IT him sabi business that does not make you more educated.

Only advice I have for you is in the ten commandments.. Leave another man wife alone

uninspired07:


You completely avoided the subject at hand & advices him not to seek advice on NL from his brothers who will never lead him astray. Why now? Is it because you know that guys here will not lead him the slaughter house that you girls always want guys to go to?

Men are not robots who derive pleasure in getting hurt by women all the time. Let us all advice the OP objectively.

NL is the best place to get advice on matters of the heart—excluding of course, delicate marital matters.

NL is filled with children, premature boys that think everybwoman is out to get them and their imaginary money.

Most people on this romance section especially, are teenagers. Anybody looking for petty advice on Romance Section multiple times, is not old enough to be in a relationship. So, he does not have anyone offline he can confide in, it is strangers that barely know the intricacies of the relationship that will tell him what to do?

I did not even read most of his rubbish, and woe betide me I waste advice on such a clueless person. The rest of you can keep forming Dr. Phil, he obviously needs all the attention he can get

I didn't read all the story but from the little I red so far,I came to a conclusion that the girl is naïve.

Uniquekriss:
Bros leave all those yarnings, there's no crime in loving another person's gf, after all, u don't know or have any relationship with d supposed Yankee bf, no girl is single, if she's not in a relationship, she must have someone she admires or one who makes her happy without responsibilities. If ur feelings for her is genuine all u need do is dissuade her from further communications with d other guy, who knows if he even has her in his plans. Go and do introduction first if u can afford it, when she graduates in less than 1yr u tie d knots, by then your finances should have soared high like u want, I'm sure her parents would prefer u to d other 'invisible' bros and u have prospects that wouldn't take long to materialize. I've a pastor who is celebrating 14years of blissful marriage to a lady who was engaged to another man when he met her. He "disengaged and reengaged" her. Lol. Invite me to your wedding bros.

Will the OP will be able to cope when the girl starts disturbing him or acting funny after she finds out that OP is not as rich as her abroad based bobo?

The issue with these girls do not end even after marriage. They will keep tormenting men till we die. The only marriage you can enjoy is one where your woman surrenders to & respects you naturally, not one where you had to fight for her attention before marriage. That means you will be fighting for the rest of your life.

The lifespan of men is short when he has to keep living up to the expectations of his wife.

uninspired07:


I can’t even date any girl in the same place I work.

How do people do that sh!t?

The OP is playing a losing game as that girl will smash his heart. OP is just an option. I can never give anybody the pleasure to have me as an option, I must always be the “prize”—even if the girl is from the village.

.
He already revelaed to the girl that he needed marriage after a few visits, now the babe is using him to play ball....She heard the word marriage and put up the good girl mode and now a brother can't think clearly.

I am sure he can't identify her flaws and see if it's something he can live with, he saw a lady who shares the same interest with him in Tech and felt he had seen an angel.

It will end in tears, lol

Carson110:
Let me give you one advice. Sleep with her like 2 or 3 times then go about your normal ambition don't focus your attention on her, don't treat her as important, treat yourself as important and she will be the one chasing you. Once you don't have sex with her she will have the will power and can forget you easily. Tip girls have 3 list.
List of guys they used
List of those that saw her unclothedness
List of those she had sex with.
They never forget the last list and will do anything for the last list. Be on that list and let her be the one chasing you afterwards.

lol, see advice.

This is the advice some people are looking for here, sleep with her two or three times, that is how your daughter will be slept with and dumped by an idiot.

Later, one unfortunate woman will procreate with this one. God help women

ultimate77:
Hi guys... It's been a while. I hope y'all enjoying the new year and the winter. I practically sleep with my fan on and without cloth, I bath with cold water as well. Before you say I should go to jos and try it, I was born in Jos, plateau state and lived most of my life all in the north.

THIS WILL BE A LONG READ SO BUCKLE UP AND ENJOY THEN PUT MOUTH.

To my story. So I was able to do away with my ex as you guys advised me to, 2 years ago. After 3 months of the break-up, I got a good job and left the city. I wasn't posting any picture on my WhatsApp status neither do I post on Facebook. She was always viewing my status which are usually my poetry write ups. After a year, she called to apologise saying how I am the only best guy for her in the whole world, how I am the only guy who knows how to treat her well. Well, truth of the matter is I tolerated a her excesses and my guy just asked me to so I can learn how to handle any other woman.

I was celibate for the whole year before she came back begging and my guy asked me not to be rude, I should tell her it's ok, let's try again but I should just watch her for a month. Men and brethren, I was cautious enough not to allow us meet because she not someone you can easily come by and you will go without your JT responding to stimulus.... She had a way of getting my pants down. So I did everything so we don't meet.

So she told me how she had missed me, the love, the care, the outings, the foods I make for her and the sex most of all. She admitted she has within the year dated 2 other guys and still broke up with them.

Note: the longest relationship she has had was the one I and she had which lasted for 3 miserable years... But I learnt much lessons so I do not regret.

Refusing to meet her after we agreed, I was giving her excuses that I was busy with work this made her start showing that her attitude again.. I already had become immune to all those behaviours of her. I just ignored her and that was how it slid. I was happy we went silent on each other again.

So, mid last year, I was at work and one of my bosses brought this young beautiful lady to my office and requested that I help connect her to the company's wireless. I didn't even act as if he was talking to me neither did I respond to any of them, on that day, I was so furious about the job I gave my boys to do which they did not complete. So the man asked my colleague to help her do that. I was really not interested in connecting anyone to the network until I resolve the downtime. However, I really don't give face to female young chaps at the company because I know myself.. Someone might just fall in love with me and I can't even deal.

Fast-forward a month later, my colleague has started taking and chatting with the new lady, she actually Came for her industrial attachment. They were always chatting and she'll come visit him in my office during break hours. All the while, I only respond to her greetings but sometimes, I listened to their conversations while working on my system. She seemed to be a great personality as I noticed she barely get angry, each time she speaks, she made sense. She responds to any question you ask her. After 2 months, I asked my guy where the girl is from. He told me. I kept quiet. 2 days later, my colleague told me that the girl said she wanted to learn Java and he told her he doesn't know how to but that I can help her. He brought her to my table and I told her she was going to pay me 50k so I'll teach her all she needs to know. She bargained and we agreed on 40k. She came the first day during break period, I had to interview her and I was amazed at her responses.

Work wouldn't let her concentrate so we cancelled classes till when she's done. A day Came she just came to my office and that was a day for just chats. I led through the conversations and she clearly opened up to me to say.. In her words "you know what? The day that man asked you to connect me to the network, the moment I saw you, I had a very strong feelings for you and since that day I couldn't help it but I was scared you might bounce me. But I said to myself 2 things must happen. It's either I make this guy fall in love with me by my actions or I tell it to him... But you were not just interested." I was smiling. She told me everything she feels... I already had within two days thought of asking to date her and marry her because she possess 80% of all I want in a woman especially her common sense and love for technology.

She had told me she has a guy outside the country who she said want to marry her, she loves him but then, she doesn't know what is going on because she can't seem to get over me and she said she knows it's not infatuation. I knew it wasn't either. I loved the girl like mad within 3 days. I knew I would. After 2 weeks, I told her I want us to date and I want to marry her I know she will too. She couldn't say a word so I let her.. Fact is, she can't stay off my path. I developed strong feelings for her that I could just do anything for her. As the days go bye, it was becoming stronger and stronger.

She decided to start acting weird to see if she's really fooling herself at that point I realised and decided to take a chill pill and have a break.. But after 2 days, we hooked again. Things happened and we finally decided to stay with each other and marry when the time comes. I know I shouldn't beg a woman to marry me as a man but guys, marrying that girl is in my own interest because she will preserve my home and everything that has to do with me. She marrying me too is in her own best interest because she will have a man who is worthy to be called a husband.

Now the challenge is... This guy outside the country is younger than I am and just 2 years older than she is.. She is 23..and I am 7 years older than she is. The guy has built houses, has cars and has a business but not educated as I am, not sensitised as I am.. Just anything academics and social and otherwise.. Most especially I have a profession and yea, he has a business but has achieved more than me.. The lady Has weighed the both of us and is still very confused as she keeps saying both of us are just perfect for her. On her list of 8 guys, she had deleted 6 it's just left the two of us and that she really wish she can delete him but the guy is too good to be deleted like that. She hadn't had sex with him because she said "the guy said they should skip sex till marriage because of how much he loves her" and me in the other hand, I don't have a house built yet, my business is in it's pitching stage and I don't own a car or cars too but that isn't my biggest worries now.

I had told her, before the year ends before she wraps up her 500 level, my business should have been set up and running and since she loves my profession, that will be a plus for her and she will as well know and be proud that she was and is a part of my/our success story. She was sick about the whole thing and finally decided she'll settle for me and I advised she shouldn't tell the guy until he comes back to the country so you guys can talk and you can kindly tell him. Though I feel the pains this guy will go through receiving this news.. But it has to be done.

We now talk more often, as I am planning to marry her this year hopefully after her studies because I am certain the money will be available even to buy her all she needs. She had read my vision and seen a headway and how I strive to make them come alive. She has been quiet supportive with her advice and love. However, at some point, I fear she might just change her mind and return to the guy. You know how inconsistent some ladies can be na. She told me the guy had visited her mum and her elder sister who is married and they all liked him but her father hasn't seen him yet.

My aunt rarely accepts girls I show her but then moment all my family members saw her picture, they all accepted her and asked that I bring her. Me on the other hand, I had only spoken to her mum just ones and that was because I needed to help them do a payment and we've not met. Most of the men at the company are asking the girl to marry them as she shows me the whole conversation.

Guys, at some point I feel she won't leave me at a point I feel threatened by the communications between her and the guy though it doesn't last longer than 5 minutes but we speak like 40minuites over the phone. On free days 2 hours sometimes. And I am not scared that she might leave or maybe that I can't get another. Nada! There are many options but she's number one and I know I love her more than any one else. She has other options too but I can't speak for her.

Guys, anything I can do to secure this girl? Even though I know I got her at angle 90° for now not even 45° because @45° there won't be much distractions. I hope no body comes to tell me to go acquire what the other guy has acquired because I'm in the process.

I just need a few words guys.

Please help

hope u av Bleep the girl,if nt forget it o,bcus that guy that as everything, if he Bleep her b4 u then Oyo lowa

safarigirl:
NL is filled with children, premature boys that think everybwoman is out to get them and their imaginary money.

Most people on this romance section especially, are teenagers. Anybody looking for petty advice on Romance Section multiple times, is not old enough to be in a relationship. So, he does not have anyone offline he can confide in, it is strangers that barely know the intricacies of the relationship that will tell him what to do?

I did not even read most of his rubbish, and woe betide me I waste advice on such a clueless person. The rest of you can keep forming Dr. Phil, he obviously needs all the attention he can get

While you might be right in some of your submissions, it is undoubtedly true that what most Nigerian women look out for in relationship is money. We can’t shy away from that.

And contrary to your beliefs, it’s not all members of the romance section that are teenagers or young people.

kazyhm:
23 years old girl won't marry you with such an option at her disposal......and again you shot yourself in the leg by encouraging she keeps communication with the other guy normal..........that's a cap in hand approach


Love is deceiving you..........that I know because you're not ready for marriage yet........it only her beauty that is boosting your attraction to her.


How do guys start a relationship with marriage topics ? I Bet you, you know nothing about her yet

This voyage is very risky.....stop investing in a deal you don't have 60% control over and 95% assurance its yours because whatever that can go wrong always go wrong.

@ bolded, biggest mistake a guy can make, she will "act" 'wife material' for you till you guys get married and then permanently 'retire' from acting.

Sometimes she might not even be playing you intentionally, but human subconscious has a way of taking the wheel once desire is attached, desire here is marriage

chukzyfcbb:
.
He already revelaed to the girl that he needed marriage after a few visits, now the babe is using him to play ball....She heard the word marriage and put up the good girl mode and now a brother can't think clearly.

I am sure he can't identify her flaws and see if it's something he can live with, he saw a lady who shares the same interest with him in Tech and felt he had seen an angel.

It will end in tears, lol

He should run away. He shouldn’t even try to sleep with the girl. He should just run & go secure the bag while looking for a less beautiful & more homely girl. Unless, he wants to keep fighting for her love the rest of their marriage.

bolayei:
So people like you dey spoil the girls wey we de hope to marry for naija mind, after we don invest and take care of them your type go just start telling them that we have other girls and the whole a bird in hand worth a million in the Bush nonsense.

Let me advice you to advice the girl. Tell her to stay away from you and you do same if you claim you love her.

The guy is younger, built houses, has a business, lives abroad that means he can take her abroad after marriage, their children lives are certain unlike the uncertainty in Nigeria. The guy is not as educated but I am sure he has some education and I bet my balls he is more exposed than you because he has seen the world and and how diverse it is, that alone pass that your IT degree or java that anyone can learn on YouTube.

My guy you don't stand a chance against the guy except the girl na mumu or here village people dey on her case.

Nigeria and this I am very educated nonsense. Se na those Nigerian universities una de call school or those yeye secondary school. Higher education is specific to a career can a doctor build bridges? So you sabi IT him sabi business that does not make you more educated.

Only advice I have for you is in the ten commandments.. Leave another man wife alone

no be only another man wife. So many notable Nigerians school here and prosper too, life isn't all about so much money, happiness matters, d abroad bf may not know her too well and may be unable to balance their differences cos they didn't really court, if this IT guy actually was celibate for 1year, bros, he's a husband material for any good woman, na ur type dey dump woman here for donkey years and she gets to her thirties then later disappoint her. If u have a woman u are planning with and u are over there, once u make small money, send home so your people can marry her on your behalf and she meets u over there if not, facebook love is your case. (Matchmaking)

The abroad guy is a built man. On the other hand, you are a guy with a promising future. She's faced with the fact that she has a man that would give her anything she wants but her happiness and future is at stake to some extent while you are a man yet to be established (from her view) but her happiness and future is 100% with you in her life.

Should you do anything extra like getting a car to impress her?? Nopes, don't even dare. Let her love you for who you are.

Is she going to leave you?? Well, there's a 50% chance she will leave you for the other guy and her excuse will be that she doesn't want to hurt him after all the years.

What do I think you should do?? Be yourself, the best version of yourself. Love her genuinely. Don't go extra to win her over(buying her things to impress her). And also, prepare for a hard landing cause your plane could come crashing if the guy returns anytime soon but in the case your love grows with your girl and the said man is not back to take her for himself, do the needful. Propose marriage to her. Love comes at some cost.

Ifakiland:
I didnt need to read your long story to know you're a weak ass pvssy controllable nigger....grow a pair, watch power or empire and focus on how the two lead actors carry and handle themselves. All these your stories ontop woman matter no worth am.

true talk my niggi.....ghost (lead actor in power) taught me alot of life lessons......hw he handled women was especially impressive..... o.p you shud watch n learn......women aint worth all dese hassle.....peace bro