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My Experience With A Nigerian Girl - Romance - Nairaland

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My Experience With A Nigerian Girl by DNSPro: 9:55pm On Jan 04, 2020
In order to add a voice to the thread by milemimi93 in the link below, I will like to share an experience I had with a Nigerian girl some time ago.

https://www.nairaland.com/5613647/first-date-2020-lady-paid

The lady in question is someone I met here on Nairaland and at that point, you can easily feel I was hurting from a severe and chronic post trauma heartbreak.

I hated women in general and nothing seems to interest me about them. All my nairaland post was riddled with so much bile and invectives towards women but this girl didn't stop to caution me and advice me.

In those days, I also had little patience for ladies. It was quite easy for me to give up on you within 72 hours or a week if I notice any "shakara". I can never forget the advice I received from unknown handle back then. In Quote : "If you close your eyes because you do not want to see the devil, you will not know when an angel will pass", which I ignorantly and arrogantly dismissed as soon as I read it.

Well, somehow, I and the lady started communicating offline and after going through most of her post, I was drawn towards her. I have a strong affinity for intelligent ladies with good dose of hustling spirit and he she had it.

After her NYSC, she took up apprenticeship in a salon to learn hairdressing, while still searching for a job. She applied to so many, so so many jobs and one almost took her life.

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Re: My Experience With A Nigerian Girl by DNSPro: 9:56pm On Jan 04, 2020
That babe dey hustle die...

Well, I asked her out eventually to which she was a bit evasive with spurious attempt to discourage me from proceeding as I later found out. Since we were only communicating with just phones and yet to see, she her words were that I may not be what she wants lol. We were fresh grads... I tried for like 3 more times to convince her within same week and it was still same thing as previous.

And due to my impatience at that time, I gave up trying, "After all girls are same and they have nothing to offer", I retorted undecided. I even went for weeks without calling her again and out of the blue, she called me. I was surprised to receive her call and it was around 7-8pm.

We exchange pleasantries during the call and after while, I asked her purpose for calling and she said it was just to check up on me. I thanked her for the call and ended it. About a week later, she called again as before to check up on me. At this stage, I had no idea the main purpose of the calls...

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Re: My Experience With A Nigerian Girl by DNSPro: 9:56pm On Jan 04, 2020
Anyway, my interest had waned and I didn't bring up the dating talks since I gave it up but we still kept in touch.

Then I had to attend a burial in the village in the East, which I informed her and coincidentally, she was working at Ozubulu at that time. She requested we meet and I obliged her.

On getting there, she took me out to a nearby restaurant, ordered for some plates of goat meat and drinks. She asked if I take alcohol and I told her nope, I do not and asked why, to which I responded that I am not used to it even though most of my relatives and siblings drank alcohol.

Here is what shocked me. It was time to pay for the items and she paid for it. That was the first time a girl would do that and I became uncomfortable. Ii knew I had let something I have always wanted slip because of previous bad experiences.

After I left her presence, I told her I wanted to discuss something with her and she listened. Though it was late, I did tried to reignite the conversation about dating her and she told me it was not possible because she is now with someone else. I was adamant, and kept trying for some weeks, even to a few months but it was all futile at the end.

Then the words from that unknown handle rang in my head once more: "If you close your eyes because you do not want to see the devil, you will not know when an angel will pass"... damn... it hit me hard this time, I was broken. It also became clear to me that those calls she made where to find out if I was still interested in her.

She eventually told me she never expected me to be soft and this romantic grin considering how tough I spoke online. She said she does not need anybody to tell me I was serious about her but it was too late and there is nothing she can do about it.

I had to move on painfully, though hard but I didn't have a choice. That experience humbled me and I have never had a girl spend on me after that lol... but I am not complaining.

I have to admit that the experience is what still gives me hope when most girls I encounter forks things up with their attitude. So yeah, there are girls who spend money on a guys but very FEW, VERY VERY FEW... plus, girls from poor homes are often HARD find in this bracket.

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Re: My Experience With A Nigerian Girl by Nobody: 10:05pm On Jan 04, 2020
Awww lemme plan your wedding ceremony ok. I can tell you've fallen for her like crazy. Just take it one step at a time... she's yours. Trust me smiley

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Re: My Experience With A Nigerian Girl by DNSPro: 10:24pm On Jan 04, 2020
justnock:
Awww lemme plan your wedding ceremony ok. I can tell you've fallen for her like crazy. Just take it one step at a time... she's yours. Trust me smiley
it was a tragedy and a fault from my end. I have completed the story grin grin

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Re: My Experience With A Nigerian Girl by Cutehector(m): 11:02pm On Jan 04, 2020
Very matured and enlightened lady. cool

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Re: My Experience With A Nigerian Girl by praz001(m): 11:12pm On Jan 04, 2020
Lesson learnt.....

And I hope some wailers won't call you weak for admitting....




Lemme wait for the NL kids who will still not learn from this

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Re: My Experience With A Nigerian Girl by Legionx: 12:47am On Jan 05, 2020
Please guys, learn that there is a difference when a girl spend on you because she wants to date you, sees you as a romantic partner and when she spends because she sees it as a friendly outing with a guy in the friendzone

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Re: My Experience With A Nigerian Girl by Funkyswagzz(m): 1:31am On Jan 05, 2020
Interesting
Re: My Experience With A Nigerian Girl by Prec1ous(m): 6:16am On Jan 05, 2020
I do not know why this does not intrigue me.

I feel she just wanted to prove a point to you, make your feel like you missed or lost alot by giving up on her. This purpose, sh has achieved properly.

How do I know? Because, like you stated, you tried bringing up the relationship issue again. So she really got you and must be feeling so great too.

Stop looking for a lady that will spend on you, just get one you want. Along the line, she may learn to spend on you even if it is not her money. She will spend yours on you.

Cheers.

21 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Experience With A Nigerian Girl by Contumely: 7:37am On Jan 05, 2020
Every girl is now paying for guys at restaurants.

Same girls have their phones bad, house rent expiring, mum sick, have no data, no airtime to call, no money for cream etc.


This nonsense should not start this year oo.

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Re: My Experience With A Nigerian Girl by Jodha(f): 7:44am On Jan 05, 2020
Nurse yhur wounds oga...

Yhu are the cause of yhur problem....

Where are those bitter nairaland guys....y'all should come and see this...
Yhur bitterness will land y'all in a tunnel y'all will regret one day..

Op do not lose all hope...if she's truly meant for yhu...y'all will be together las las... I'm glad yhu learnt yhur lesson the hard way..

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Re: My Experience With A Nigerian Girl by DNSPro: 7:52am On Jan 05, 2020
Legionx:
Please guys, learn that there is a difference when a girl spend on you because she wants to date you, sees you as a romantic partner and when she spends because she sees it as a friendly outing with a guy in the friendzone
who is talking of friend zone. If I must admit, na me friendzone her until that point.

Whether as friend or dating, the girl spent money, which is rare among Nigerian girls and speak volume about this girl in particular. Some will invite you and expect you to spend your own money.

One thing is clear, Nigerian men or most Nigerian men appreciate it, contrary to what a lot of Nigerian girls think, when a lady spend money on them, even if it's just 1000.

Please do not twist a message of the thread to massage your ego.

Thank you.

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Re: My Experience With A Nigerian Girl by DNSPro: 8:01am On Jan 05, 2020
Jodha:
Nurse yhur wounds oga...

Yhu are the cause of yhur problem....

Where are those bitter nairaland guys....y'all should come and see this...
Yhur bitterness will land y'all in a tunnel y'all will regret one day..

Op do not lose all hope...if she's truly meant for yhu...y'all will be together las las... I'm glad yhu learnt yhur lesson the hard way..

I learned o. It was a painful experience. The girl is pretty, intelligent cos she often discusses politics here on nairaland and a go getter.

During those days, I used to speak tough on nairaland but she experienced the opposite off-line when I decided to open up to her. She saw a soft romantic dude with heart that cared, and not one that hated women.

The guy she was dating quickly married her within a year lol. So that door is completely closed.

She still gives me hope even though I have not met one that is close to what she had since then.

An average Nigerian girl is selfish and self centered and they do not hide it, but my faith lies in the fact that a few are good after my encounter with this girl...

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Re: My Experience With A Nigerian Girl by DNSPro: 8:07am On Jan 05, 2020
Prec1ous:
I do not know why this does not intrigue me.

I feel she just wanted to prove a point to you, make your feel like you missed or lost alot by giving up on her. This purpose, sh has achieved properly.

How do I know? Because, like you stated, you tried bringing up the relationship issue again. So she really got you and must be feeling so great too.

Stop looking for a lady that will spend on you, just get one you want. Along the line, she may learn to spend on you even if it is not her money. She will spend yours on you.

Cheers.
All I see is ego ego ego ego speaking Mr know it all.

She didn't prove anything...

Who is looking for one to spend on me? Am I so dependent mentality? Dude, whatever I do not sweat for financially I do not appreciate it much.

Look for one you want who will spend on you after a while? You can't give what you do not have. 80% of Nigerians are selfish and self-centered and they do not hide it.

If she doesn't give initially, she wouldn't give anytime even if you married her. One thing is certain, how you start with a Nigerian girl is how it will continue to be. Nothing will change. So if you start by spending, you will be foolish by thinking she will turn one day and give you a dime.

1 Like

Re: My Experience With A Nigerian Girl by Prec1ous(m): 8:20am On Jan 05, 2020
DNSPro:

All I see is ego ego ego ego speaking Mr know it all.

She didn't prove anything...

Who is looking for one to spend on me? Am I so dependent mentality? Dude, whatever I do not sweat for financially I do not appreciate it much.

Look for one you want who will spend on you after a while? You can't give what you do not have. 80% of Nigerians are selfish and self-centered and they do not hide it.

If she doesn't give initially, she wouldn't give anytime even if you married her. One thing is certain, how you start with a Nigerian girl is how it will continue to be. Nothing will change. So if you start by spending, you will be foolish by thinking she will turn one day and give you a dime.

Your first paragraph was not necessarilyneeded. I am wondering why you went on the defensive.

But all in all, in our different perspectives, we are right. So you are too.
Re: My Experience With A Nigerian Girl by Jodha(f): 8:20am On Jan 05, 2020
DNSPro:


I learned o. It was a painful experience. The girl is pretty, intelligent cos she often discusses politics here on nairaland and a go getter.

During those days, I used to speak tough on nairaland but she experienced the opposite off-line when I decided to open up to her. She saw a soft romantic dude with heart that cared, and not one that hated women.

The guy she was dating quickly married her within a year lol. So that door is completely closed.

She still gives me hope even though I have not met one that is close to what she had since then.

An average Nigerian girl is selfish and self centered and they do not hide it, but my faith lies in the fact that a few are good after my encounter with this girl...

Eyah ...

Keep searching at the right places... I'm sure yhull find someone even better..

1 Like

Re: My Experience With A Nigerian Girl by DNSPro: 8:42am On Jan 05, 2020
Prec1ous:


Your first paragraph was not necessarilyneeded. I am wondering why you went on the defensive.

But all in all, in our different perspectives, we are right. So you are too.
I am not being defensive bro but I am a realist.
Re: My Experience With A Nigerian Girl by DNSPro: 8:44am On Jan 05, 2020
Jodha:


Eyah ...

Keep searching at the right places... I'm sure yhull find someone even better..
yeah, sure.
Re: My Experience With A Nigerian Girl by BigJoe19: 9:58am On Jan 05, 2020
Jodha:
Nurse yhur wounds oga...

Yhu are the cause of yhur problem....

Where are those bitter nairaland guys....y'all should come and see this...
Yhur bitterness will land y'all in a tunnel y'all will regret one day..

Op do not lose all hope...if she's truly meant for yhu...y'all will be together las las... I'm glad yhu learnt yhur lesson the hard way..
If this story is true, I know it can never be from the active and popular female nairalanders, because the comments we see from active female nairalanders is nothing but disappointment.
Re: My Experience With A Nigerian Girl by Kevsmart88(m): 10:18am On Jan 05, 2020
It takes some level of maturity to put forth such submissions and not exonerate urself of all blames...In short I'm so proud of you. Trust me bro, U will find a lady of such ilk soon. The problem with most guys on nairaland is this so called fallacy of generalization prolly due to bitter experiences in retrospect. I'm still of the opinion that there exists good Nigerian ladies albeit in very limited quantity, all we have to do is just keep our options open. Thanks for the piece,quite enlightening.

1 Like

Re: My Experience With A Nigerian Girl by Just2endowed2(m): 10:24am On Jan 05, 2020
Jodha:


Eyah ...

Keep searching at the right places... I'm sure yhull find someone even better..

Not in Nairaland undecided
Re: My Experience With A Nigerian Girl by Megfrivolous: 10:39am On Jan 05, 2020
DNSPro:
it was a tragedy and a fault from my end. I have completed the story grin grin

bro do you do server stuffs ??
Re: My Experience With A Nigerian Girl by Kevsmart88(m): 10:40am On Jan 05, 2020
BigJoe19:
If this story is true, I know it can never be from the active and popular female nairalanders, because the comments we see from active female nairalanders is nothing but disappointment.
Do not be in a haste to conclude...They are here on nairaland..Forget these ones claiming feminists online, they are lovable creatures outside these forum

1 Like

Re: My Experience With A Nigerian Girl by Theenchanter2: 10:47am On Jan 05, 2020
Lalasticlala, mynd44

Frontpage pls..... let d guys know that life is real than whats happening on d internent.
Re: My Experience With A Nigerian Girl by MJBOLT: 10:56am On Jan 05, 2020
the guy promised her marriage,you had nothing to offer,she chose the better option.i see nothing special here.

DNSPro:


The guy she was dating quickly married her within a year lol. So that door is completely closed.

4 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Nigerian Girl by Nobody: 12:37pm On Jan 05, 2020
Prec1ous:
I do not know why this does not intrigue me.

I feel she just wanted to prove a point to you, make your feel like you missed or lost alot by giving up on her. This purpose, sh has achieved properly.

How do I know? Because, like you stated, you tried bringing up the relationship issue again. So she really got you and must be feeling so great too.

Stop looking for a lady that will spend on you, just get one you want. Along the line, she may learn to spend on you even if it is not her money. She will spend yours on you.

Cheers.

I had same thought, ladies do this a lot. They want to make you feel you lost out. He wasn't smart enough to decode the message.

I wouldn't have brought the relationship topic. Thank God for the gift I have, I can read you from your actions.

1 Like

Re: My Experience With A Nigerian Girl by Nobody: 12:40pm On Jan 05, 2020
DNSPro:


I learned o. It was a painful experience. The girl is pretty, intelligent cos she often discusses politics here on nairaland and a go getter.

During those days, I used to speak tough on nairaland but she experienced the opposite off-line when I decided to open up to her. She saw a soft romantic dude with heart that cared, and not one that hated women.

The guy she was dating quickly married her within a year lol. So that door is completely closed.

She still gives me hope even though I have not met one that is close to what she had since then.

An average Nigerian girl is selfish and self centered and they do not hide it, but my faith lies in the fact that a few are good after my encounter with this girl...

If she liked you why didn't she say yes when you were asking her out back then. She just wanted you as a friend.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Experience With A Nigerian Girl by Jodha(f): 1:09pm On Jan 05, 2020
BigJoe19:
If this story is true, I know it can never be from the active and popular female nairalanders, because the comments we see from active female nairalanders is nothing but disappointment.

Yhu could have easily made yhur point without quoting me...
Re: My Experience With A Nigerian Girl by Jodha(f): 1:10pm On Jan 05, 2020
Just2endowed2:


Not in Nairaland undecided

I said "right places"
Re: My Experience With A Nigerian Girl by Originalsly: 1:35pm On Jan 05, 2020
DNSPro:


All my nairaland post was riddled with so much bile and invectives towards women but this girl didn't stop to caution me and advice me.


Hmmm.....so you were one of the pioneers who began persecuting the ladies who dared to post a comment . Now most of the ladies are just readers in the background. But it is good for you to open this thread to confess how wrong you were in your belief that women are pretty much no good. Life has a way of making you eat your words.... most do so silently. Yes you missed a great opportunity... and you would always regret this one.... a good wife is hard to find..... not impossible... just hard to find. Are there more like her?...no doubt... and if you ask me.... right here on NL.... just don't ask me how I know.
Good luck.

1 Like

Re: My Experience With A Nigerian Girl by Prec1ous(m): 2:02pm On Jan 05, 2020
BiggyB242:


I had same thought, ladies do this a lot. They want to make you feel you lost out. He wasn't smart enough to decode the message.

I wouldn't have brought the relationship topic. Thank God for the gift I have, I can read you from your actions.

Well, he called me an egoist and know it all for stating this to him.

If you are the only one who sees this from my perspective, I am satisfied. He is yet to really understand women and he did not get her message sadly.

Regards, my man!

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