She just finished her secondary school education, she got entangled with a lover and she got pregnant amidst your warnings and sex education. what would you do?. will you chase her out like a mean parent would do?

Hmmm

popsy2:
Hmmm

Any opinion?

My opinion

If the pregnancy is detected earlier enough, we we will abort the foetus, if I have the money, I would send her abroad to continue her education and since she has the tendency to get wayward (atleast being pregnant in a saner clime other than Nigeria is preferably) Or she could learn her mistakes staying back in the country, deal with it, Get her a pep talk coach to set her life straight.

On the other, if the pregnancy is late to be aborted, She would have the baby, life goes on(Being a babymama isn't a sin) but I would still help achieve her dreams but always remind her of her mistakes for sober reflection. And love her equally.

A serious challenge, but you can't reject her. Help her through this period..She could turn out to be the best, irrespective of what happened. Maybe, you could take her to a distant relation (who understands and is willing to help) where she would stay till she gives birth. You will be visiting and supporting her financialmy. Most time, it is better to change environment when such a thing happens. It's going to be a long work for the parents involved, but all is not lost with her future.

A305:
My opinion

If the pregnancy is detected earlier enough, we we will abort the foetus, if I have the money, I would send her abroad to continue her education and since she has the tendency to get wayward (atleast being pregnant in a saner clime other than Nigeria is preferably) Or she could learn her mistakes staying back in the country, deal with it, Get her a pep talk coach to set her life straight.

On the other, if the pregnancy is late to be aborted, She would have the baby, life goes on(Being a babymama isn't a sin) but I would still help achieve her dreams but always remind her of her mistakes for sober reflection. And love her equally.

abortion I wouldn't do that cause its a risk to her health. and it seems you are one of those who think aborting the foetus is not murder.

Schoolshoe:
abortion I wouldn't do that cause its a risk to her health. and it seems you are one of those who think aborting the foetus is not murder.

well that's you. My opinion is what has been aired. Keep in mind, I said; Abortion will be done if the pregnancy is detected in its early stage to avoid health complications.

You could call it murder or whatever, How many times did you visit the motherless baby's home to spend time with them last year?

is not possible

A305:
well that's you. My opinion is what has been aired.

You could call it murder or whatever, How many times did you visit the motherless baby's home to spend time with them last year?

thank you for airing your opinion sir.

That means I have probably not done my home work well. Anyway, she'll give birth and continue school after she has weaned the baby.
Hopefully she has learnt her lessons and would make better choices. Gone are the days of shame, she would live with me and so will my grandchild.

zed7:
That means I have probably not done my home work well. Anyway, she'll give birth and continue school after she has weaned the baby.
Hopefully she has learnt her lessons and would make better choices. Gone are the days of shame, she would live with me and so will my grandchild.

I wouldn't do different. with some children you do your home work well or not they will still go wayward.

What else is to be done than to scold her, ground her, and then accept the unborn baby?
After all, that's my grandchild.

My major issue is the kind of boy she got pregnant for, this is even the bigger disappointment.
Teenage girls hardly ever pick the most responsible boys to date & shag, its always the worst of the pack - the type you'll see and you look at your daughter and wonder if she was switched at birth for not having your sensible genes.

@bolded

As in ehn

I've rarely seen a teenage girl get pregnant for a good guy who is comfortable and 100% committed to her. Maybe it's because guys that are sensible, mature and financially buoyant have no business with despoiling virgins like most of the NFAs teenage girls end up being babymamas for.


This is why I will be very disappointed if my daughter gets pregnant in her teenage years...it's even too painful to contemplate and I don't think I'll still love such a child a 100%.

Yes I'll accept her and her pregnancy but I don't think I'll ever get over my disappointment at her behaviour

crackhaus:
What else is to be done than to scold her, ground her, and then accept the unborn baby?
After all, that's my grandchild.

My major issue is the kind of boy she got pregnant for, this is even the bigger disappointment.
Teenage girls hardly ever pick the most responsible boys to date & shag, its always the worst of the pack - the type you'll see and you look at your daughter and wonder if she was not switched at birth for not having your sensible genes.

Amanee:
@bolded

As in ehn

I've rarely seen a teenage girl get pregnant for a good guy who is comfortable and 100% committed to her. Maybe it's because guys that are sensible, mature and financially buoyant have no business with despoiling virgins like most of the NFAs teenage girls end up being babymamas for.


This is why I will be very disappointed if my daughter gets pregnant in her teenage years...it's even too painful to contemplate and I don't think I'll still love such a child a 100%.

Yes I'll accept her and her pregnancy but I don't think I'll ever get over my disappointment at her behaviour

You took that right out of my mind.
I was going to add it to my comment earlier, but chose not to crowd my thoughts.

Truly, I rarely see, hear, or come across a teenage girl who got pregnant out of wedlock for someone responsible.

crackhaus:

You took that right out of my mind.
I was going to add it to my comment earlier, but chose not to crowd my thoughts.

Truly, I rarely see, hear, or come across a teenage girl who got pregnant out of wedlock for someone responsible.

yeah it rarely happens. unless there are of agemates that's when there is still a probability of responsibility in the father I.e it happens as a result of their teenage lust. but when the age gap is not close, the father would be an irresponsible person since a well behaved person can't be shagging a teen to the extent of getting her pregnant.

lalasticlala can you move this

Schoolshoe:
yeah it rarely happens. unless there are of agemates that's when there is still a probability of responsibility in the father. but when the age gap is not close, the father would be an irresponsible person since a well behaved person can't be shagging a teen to the extent of getting her pregnant.

lalasticlala can you move this

Even in situations where they are age-mates or classmates, it's still almost always the low-value boys that get them pregnant.

The high-flyers who are serious about their grades are certainly not spending valuable time dating and fvcking girls, they are focused and taking their studies seriously.

crackhaus:
What else is to be done than to scold her, ground her, and then accept the unborn baby?
After all, that's my grandchild.

My major issue is the kind of boy she got pregnant for, this is even the bigger disappointment.
Teenage girls hardly ever pick the most responsible boys to date & shag, its always the worst of the pack - the type you'll see and you look at your daughter and wonder if she was switched at birth for not having your sensible genes.

@bold:

I believe if parents properly train their kids and ensure they have healthy self esteem, the girls would be able to choose guys who are responsible because they have respect for themselves.

When I see a lady (teen, young, old) with a man who is irresponsible and doesn't respect her, I automatically know that the lady doesn't respect herself or think she deserves something good.

@Topic:

She has the baby.

Apart from the sin of abortion and the attendant conscience pricking, I feel abortion would make the girl loose and unguarded.

She would feel if she gets pregnant again, she will just abort it.

bukatyne:


@bold:

I believe if parents properly train their kids and ensure they have healthy self esteem, the girls would be able to choose guys who are responsible because they have respect for themselves.

When I see a lady (teen, young, old) with a man who is irresponsible and doesn't respect her, I automatically know that the lady doesn't respect herself or think she deserves something good.

@Topic:

She has the baby.

Apart from the sin of abortion and the attendant conscience pricking, I feel abortion would make the girl loose and unguarded.

She would feel if she gets pregnant again, she will just abort it.

Reading the above now, it actually does make sense.
I mean, when has having a successful abortion ever made young girls become celibate?

Regarding the effect of parents training kids properly to have a healthy self-esteem, yes that helps. But there's only so much parents can do especially when it involves teenagers (girls & boys).
If I didn't know better, I would have held the opinion that teenage girls with good parental training ALWAYS make better choices, but alas, it's still not always the case - peer pressure is a big deal at that stage in life.

I personally know a girl, she must be going to 18 this year. I know her parents quite well, the type that are very hands on and quite protective of their daughters. If you saw this girl Bukatyne and she tells you her age, you would scratch your head because she has that Joselyn Dumas kind of build. Her ass is so massive you could sit a glass of water on it comfortably and it won't spill.
Now even with all the good, responsible, and christian upbringing, the moment she got admitted into University, she began hanging around Gboys (Yahoo). Even featured in a music video for one of them upcoming artistes and all she's doing in it is of course showcasing that her massive ass. All this, while still in her first year.

I remember telling her sometime mid last year when she posted a snippet of the video on her stories, I was like Eliza if you are not careful with the company you keep, you will lose your focus in that school and start amassing carry-overs, or you will get pregnant, or worst case, you will be gang-raped, and any of this can break your parents' heart.
I like to think she paid attention to that, but I'm not holding my breath - person wey wan spoil go spoil.

crackhaus:

Reading the above now, it actually does make sense.
I mean, when has having a successful abortion ever made young girls become celibate?

Regarding the effect of parents training kids properly to have a healthy self-esteem, yes that helps. But there's only so much parents can do especially when it involves teenagers (girls & boys).
If I didn't know better, I would have held the opinion that teenage girls with good parental training ALWAYS make better choices, but alas, it's still not always the case - peer pressure is a big deal at that stage in life.

I personally know a girl, she must be going to 18 this year. I know her parents quite well, the type that are very hands on and quite protective of their daughters. If you saw this girl Bukatyne and she tells you her age, you would scratch your head because she has that Joselyn Dumas kind of build. Her ass is so massive you could sit a glass of water on it comfortably and it won't spill.
Now even with all the good, responsible, and christian upbringing, the moment she got admitted into University, she began hanging around Gboys (Yahoo). Even featured in a music video for one of them upcoming artistes and all she's doing in it is of course showcasing that her massive ass. All this, while still in her first year.

I remember telling her sometime mid last year when she posted a snippet of the video on her stories, I was like Eliza if you are not careful with the company you keep, you will lose your focus in that school and start amassing carry-overs, or you will get pregnant, or worst case, you will be gang-raped, and any of this can break your parents' heart.
I like to think she paid attention to that, but I'm not holding my breath - person wey wan spoil go spoil.

Trust me, what we call training here is not training. It is reaction to lack of training and mumbo jumbo rules that the parents cannot even explain.

Just like God when He facilitated the New Testament (relationship with Him & empowering us to do the right thing through the Holy Spirit) through the birth and death of Jesus because rules (Old Testament) cannot do it, parents must realize that they need to know their kids individually and tailor training, discipline and coaching to suit them.

They must also recognize the individuality of that child and celebrate it.

Looking back now, my mom tailored her training to suit us. When I was much younger, it was 'avoid boys so you don't get pregnant'. One day, I told her that I was no longer interested in hearing that since she wasn't talking to my brother (in retrospect, I have no idea. My brother was also not there when she was talking to me) and she switched the narrative to 'I am beautiful and intelligent. I should be patient and get a man that would complement me. I am made for great things and a bad decision can ruin it'.

Different things, same results.

Obviously, when I met my husband, it was will he help me achieve my dreams? I wanna do great things

I find that a lot of parents cannot balance boundaries and freedom. It is either the children feel caged or are left loose like wind.

The idea is individualistic 'freedom' within the boundaries so they can express themselves and explore else they are lured by the illusion of 'freedom' going with their peers bring. They also do not discover themselves so they do anything for acceptance.

It is a lot of rewarding work.

I seriously pray it doesn't happen, but if it does I will accept the baby while she continues schooling. it's not the end of the road for her,she can still be whoever she wants to be irrespective of her past.

I will never have her abort unless it's medically necessary..

kids need to be very close to their parents esp the mum. if she tells you everything I mean everything i'm sure it won't get to that stage

bukatyne:


Trust me, what we call training here is not training. It is reaction to lack of training and mumbo jumbo rules that the parents cannot even explain.

Just like God when He facilitated the New Testament (relationship with Him & empowering us to do the right thing through the Holy Spirit) through the birth and death of Jesus because rules (Old Testament) cannot do it, parents must realize that they need to know their kids individually and tailor training, discipline and coaching to suit them.

They must also recognize the individuality of that child and celebrate it.

Looking back now, my mom tailored her training to suit us. When I was much younger, it was 'avoid boys so you don't get pregnant'. One day, I told her that I was no longer interested in hearing that since she wasn't talking to my brother (in retrospect, I have no idea. My brother was also not there when she was talking to me) and she switched the narrative to 'I am beautiful and intelligent. I should be patient and get a man that would complement me. I am made for great things and a bad decision can ruin it'.

Different things, same results.

Obviously, when I met my husband, it was will he help me achieve my dreams? I wanna do great things

I find that a lot of parents cannot balance boundaries and freedom. It is either the children feel caged or are left loose like wind.

The idea is individualistic 'freedom' within the boundaries so they can express themselves and explore else they are lured by the illusion of 'freedom' going with their peers bring. They also do not discover themselves so they do anything for acceptance.

It is a lot of rewarding work.

You seem like someone who was brought up in a Deeper Life home, or is it Mountain of Fire, or Jehovah's Witness. Which one?

Schoolshoe:
She just finished her secondary school education, she got entangled with a lover and she got pregnant amidst your warnings and sex education. what would you do?. will you chase her out like a mean parent would do?

Having warned her several times and she lost it, it's either she follows the guy or I will keep her, let her pass through it and see what she did to herself

Before I tell you what I will do, I pray it never gets to pregnancy before I know she is screwing

She won't be a Nigerian first of all so abortion won't be illegal. I will opt for an abortion. She's a minor and I can decide for her so I have all rights to do that.

To me abortion is not a sin if done at the earliest stage (1 - 3) months being pregnant.

God forbid, but if It happens I will not kill her , I will encourage her and take care of her and after one year she will go back to school

Never will I send my child away... She's gonna give birth to that baby.. And fucking go back to school...

I had a neighbor who was pregnant at 16.the parents bashed her as typical African parents will but forgave her and parented her child while she went back to school ( after nursing the child)

Now the lady has a PhD and works in a research institute the daughter is so grown and cute when she invited me for her PhD convocation party and I saw the daughter's joy on her face,goshhh...I was so happy.she said "so you're my mother and jumped to hug her mother". apparently her grandparents just told her the truth.so in life you don't write anybody off just because they made teenage mistakes


Even as adults we make careless mistakes and begin to ask ourselves in our quiet time that "but I know better than this"

Schoolshoe:
She just finished her secondary school education, she got entangled with a lover and she got pregnant amidst your warnings and sex education. what would you do?. will you chase her out like a mean parent would do?

I'm the multiple liker, nice diary....
Keep keeping it real....

Tochex101:

I'm the multiple liker, nice diary....
Keep keeping it real....

thanks bruh. When will you start yours ?

Schoolshoe:
thanks bruh. When will you start yours ?

Soon... I'll keep you on the know.

Hi Schoolshoe .... How are you doing? Kindly quote this with your handle so that I'll know it's you that sent the text.. Thanks

Let her be the adult she so badly wants to be.

A305:
My opinion

If the pregnancy is detected earlier enough, we we will abort the foetus, if I have the money, I would send her abroad to continue her education and since she has the tendency to get wayward (atleast being pregnant in a saner clime other than Nigeria is preferably) Or she could learn her mistakes staying back in the country, deal with it, Get her a pep talk coach to set her life straight.

On the other, if the pregnancy is late to be aborted, She would have the baby, life goes on(Being a babymama isn't a sin) but I would still help achieve her dreams but always remind her of her mistakes for sober reflection. And love her equally.

Being a babymama, according to Nl men, is a sin. No one wants to marry a babymama but here you are encouraging a lady to be one. Will you marry her when men start rejecting her cause of her baby?