Good day all, I'm a new member here. I have a question that I'd love enlightened and sensible people help answer.
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I've noticed this trait in my partner and I want to try nip it in the bud before we get married. Whenever issues happen between us, he hardly call for resolution. When I do, he doesn't express his grievances, instead he says he isn't bothered about it. Yet he keeps malice, doesn't call or chat.. I apologise again and again, he will tell me he isn't bothered and there's no need to apologise yet he doesn't stop with the attitude. Fast forward to few days later before he eventually say what's on his mind. This has been recurring.

Please how do I make him better?

Some people are like that. Be patient with him, study him very well and get his password. You will enjoy him later

No woman can make a man better aside his mum. You can only try.

Some girls believe saying ‘I’m sorry’ would make everything better hence they engage in silly acts. No dear, it doesn’t work that way any longer. Men are getting wiser day by day. Do the right thing so you won’t have time to say ‘I’m sorry’ every time.

Dalu.

It is just as if I am the one question.

Hi,I believe you should keep laying emphasis on where you need him to improve, nothing beats communications when sorting out issues.

Since he wants to be committed he has to put in the work.

Davash222:
No woman can make a man better aside his mum. You can only try.

Some girls believe saying ‘I’m sorry’ would make everything better hence they engage in silly acts. No dear, it doesn’t work that way any longer. Men are getting wiser day by day. Do the right thing so you won’t have time to say ‘I’m sorry’ every time.

Dalu.

It isn't like I say sorry every time. No relationship is perfect but ours is "near perfect" safe for this attitude. Let me give you a scenario.
Sometimes back I was on the phone with a guy we served together. We were catching up and I didn't realize that we had spent over 20 minutes on the call. When the call ended I called him and he started giving one word answers. I figured that he had been trying to call me and explained to him that I got carried away thus spending so much time on the call.
He replied that he doesn't care who I talk to afterall it's my phone. Still, I apologized and the call ended. He didn't pick my calls/chat or call for two days. The third day he called and started with "what were you guys discussing so much that you got carried away and forgot that someone would be trying to call you."
That's what I'm talking about.

phemy36:
Some people are like that. Be patient with him, study him very well and get his password. You will enjoy him later

Thank you. I believe in a relationship there's nothing bad in calling for conflict resolution. But what happens when I get tired of begging and begging?

JaneJaneJane are you an Igbo girl?

Because I heard most Igbo girls are prostitutes?

Charleys:
JaneJaneJane are you an Igbo girl?

Because I heard most Igbo girls are prostitutes?

Haba, respect yourself. this is 2020, by now I thought that should have been a bygone with 2019

Whenever he keeps malice and wouldn't let you know what the problem is, just stand in front of the door and don't allow him go out for work in the morning. Say this to him:

"Baby I know that I've wronged you so much but you not talking to me is causing me depression and I'm dying of boredom in this house, remember we don't have kids yet and you're my best friend but look now you ain't talking to me and I feel so bad. I love you and seeing you this moody shatters my heart into pieces


I promise never to repeat such again, never. Thanks for forgiving me" then kisses and the rest is history


Whenever he's vexed make sure you confront him and tell him things that'll touch his heart. My dad was a very difficult sadist but my mum sabi em trick well well

I inherited it from my dad too but when one asks for forgiveness from their heart I do forgive and forget immidiately

extol1:

Haba, respect yourself. this is 2020, by now I thought that should have been a bygone with 2019

This is still 2019 only the date in the calendar changed

JaneJaneJane:
Thank you. I believe in a relationship there's nothing bad in calling for conflict resolution. But what happens when I get tired of begging and begging?

Hummmm.. it's easier said than done my dear. Don't start what you can't stop.. marriage is for eternity, think twice

JaneJaneJane:
Good day all, I'm a new member here. I have a question that I'd love enlightened and sensible people help answer.
.
.
I've noticed this trait in my partner and I want to try nip it in the bud before we get married. Whenever issues happen between us, he hardly call for resolution. When I do, he doesn't express his grievances, instead he says he isn't bothered about it. Yet he keeps malice, doesn't call or chat.. I apologise again and again, he will tell me he isn't bothered and there's no need to apologise yet he doesn't stop with the attitude. Fast forward to few days later before he eventually say what's on his mind. This has been recurring.

Please how do I make him better?

move on

Be completely submissive, learn the things he doesn't like and don't give him issues. That is the bud that you need to nip off, not his appropriate response to your bad behaviour. It is yourself you need to make better.

Keep wasting your time with an over grown kid.

Some people are like that.... you can't change that. Accept that's the way he is.... at least you did well to know when he is upset about something... and he would not share what it is until a few days later. Don't try to learn what it is by force. How upset he is... how angry he is... you don't know. Some people when things upset them... they can explode at any moment.... maybe he is one such person... like a pressure cooker... he waits until he calms himself down.... then he can open up and discuss with you without blowing his top. No one is perfect..... the same way you want him to open up right away... the same way he wants you to stay away.... so whose way should it be?..... See this as Lesson One in Compromise . If this is a lesson you can't manage.... then marriage is not for you.... this is not a problem when it comes to marriage..... small potatoes!

JaneJaneJane:
Good day all, I'm a new member here. I have a question that I'd love enlightened and sensible people help answer.
.
.
I've noticed this trait in my partner and I want to try nip it in the bud before we get married. Whenever issues happen between us, he hardly call for resolution. When I do, he doesn't express his grievances, instead he says he isn't bothered about it. Yet he keeps malice, doesn't call or chat.. I apologise again and again, he will tell me he isn't bothered and there's no need to apologise yet he doesn't stop with the attitude. Fast forward to few days later before he eventually say what's on his mind. This has been recurring.

Please how do I make him better?

I'm a guy, I have someone like that who's dating my friend, female.. Let's just we are friends.
The girl has her flaws and attitudes also, but the guy ain't innocent either. His biggest flaw is exactly your man's biggest.
They'll keep quiet for a while, but will be mad at what you did.
They'll tell you apology accepted and stuffs, but later they'll let you know how they feel regarding the same situation they promised you is forgotten.
And people like that have high tendencies to be very jealous and they have problems seeing someone else have too much attention of their partners.
My friend found a way to curb my guy's own, when he's in that mood, she gives him the space to express himself, after calling n probably asking why you do this why you do that, if she tries to explain n he keeps saying his mind, she just keeps quiet n in the end, but “I've apologized you, what dyu want me to do” na him dey end am pass.
These two, they love each other very much.
You either learn to accept and find a way to curb your man's flaws or you move on so you don't come back telling us you regret settling with him

JaneJaneJane:
It isn't like I say sorry every time. No relationship is perfect but ours is "near perfect" safe for this attitude. Let me give you a scenario.
Sometimes back I was on the phone with a guy we served together. We were catching up and I didn't realize that we had spent over 20 minutes on the call. When the call ended I called him and he started giving one word answers. I figured that he had been trying to call me and explained to him that I got carried away thus spending so much time on the call.
He replied that he doesn't care who I talk to afterall it's my phone. Still, I apologized and the call ended. He didn't pick my calls/chat or call for two days. The third day he called and started with "what were you guys discussing so much that you got carried away and forgot that someone would be trying to call you."
That's what I'm talking about.

stop things that make him angry which is almost impossible or you try to be patient with him. I don't see this as a potential threat to your marriage. some people just don't like dragging issues . just be patient and sometimes remind him it will be better if he improve

funmisticqueen2:
move on

she doesn't want to be single like you

vincentjk:
Whenever he keeps malice and wouldn't let you know what the problem is, just stand in front of the door and don't allow him go out for work in the morning. Say this to him:

"Baby I know that I've wronged you so much but you not talking to me is causing me depression and I'm dying of boredom in this house, remember we don't have kids yet and you're my best friend but look now you ain't talking to me and I feel so bad. I love you and seeing you this moody shatters my heart into pieces


I promise never to repeat such again, never. Thanks for forgiving me" then kisses and the rest is history


Whenever he's vexed make sure you confront him and tell him things that'll touch his heart. My dad was a very difficult sadist but my mum sabi em trick well well

I inherited it from my dad too but when one asks for forgiveness from their heart I do forgive and forget immidiately

she is talking real life solution not movies or imagination

Sidan there dey date pikin. More than two billion men in this world, sis.

Hand over everything to God and Pray all the time,God will touch him one day

JaneJaneJane:
Good day all, I'm a new member here. I have a question that I'd love enlightened and sensible people help answer.
.
.
I've noticed this trait in my partner and I want to try nip it in the bud before we get married. Whenever issues happen between us, he hardly call for resolution. When I do, he doesn't express his grievances, instead he says he isn't bothered about it. Yet he keeps malice, doesn't call or chat.. I apologise again and again, he will tell me he isn't bothered and there's no need to apologise yet he doesn't stop with the attitude. Fast forward to few days later before he eventually say what's on his mind. This has been recurring.

Please how do I make him better?

your guy loves you just learn to stop doing those things he doesn't approve of, I see him as a jealous person and he doesn't want to be taking for granted, be more sincere with him so that he can trust you the more

Lostz:
she doesn't want to be single like you

is being single not better than being in a situationship

Ceenelly:
your guy loves you just learn to stop doing those things he doesn't approve of, I see him as a jealous person and he doesn't want to be taking for granted, be more sincere with him so that he can trust you the more

Don't mind this guy, na wash o

funmisticqueen2:
is being single not better than being in a situationship

she understand there is no perfect relationship. that is why she is looking for ways to sort things out.


it will be better if you are single by choice not by circumstances

JaneJaneJane:
Good day all, I'm a new member here. I have a question that I'd love enlightened and sensible people help answer.
.
.
I've noticed this trait in my partner and I want to try nip it in the bud before we get married. Whenever issues happen between us, he hardly call for resolution. When I do, he doesn't express his grievances, instead he says he isn't bothered about it. Yet he keeps malice, doesn't call or chat.. I apologise again and again, he will tell me he isn't bothered and there's no need to apologise yet he doesn't stop with the attitude. Fast forward to few days later before he eventually say what's on his mind. This has been recurring.

Please how do I make him better?

I'm like that, is he an introvert?

When I'm offended, I just bone you... my anger doesn't last than an hour.

but hey, I just don't wanna talk about what happened...

Lostz:
she understand there is no perfect relationship. that is why she is looking for ways to sort things out.


it will be better if you are single by choice not by circumstances

I am single by choice.

Good night

funmisticqueen2:
I am single by choice.

Good night

there would have been no need for that matchmaking thread you created a few months ago if this is true.

you are allowed to lie to yourself sha

When he is at his normal state of mind, talk to him heart to heart, let him know how his behaviour is affecting your and that you want him to change. If possible, create a kind of project for this talk, such as asking him days before when he will be free, and that you want the both of you to visit a cool location, that you have something really important to tell him.

This will establish an idea that the matter at hand is of seriousness and importance. When the day finally arrives, look him straight in his eyes and tell him just exactly how you feel, it helps if you're good with words, to articulate your thoughts so he can feel your pain through your speech.

I am convinced that if he loves you, he will change. Also, try to see if it's a personality thing.

Don't start what u can't finish.
You are not the Holy Spirit, that's His work; to change people.