That's why we are men.

faithfull18:
Men will always be men.

Foolish void of truth.

papaejima20199:
This is my first time posting NL , although I've been reading a lot in the last few months . I'll try to be as detailed as possible. I don't even know if I'm asking a question, or advice, or what. I just have to get some things out of my brain.

I’m 36 and my wife is 32. we've been married for 12 years and have two children, twins age 1. I would say happily married. As in, we don't fight, , never any abuse of any kind, no major life disagreements. I love my wife. She is a great mother, a great provider for the family, and we make a great team when it comes to raising our kids. However, she leaves me feeling undesired. Sexually, just intimacy in general, not feeling wanted or desired, missing that flirtatious quality that we all enjoy in a relationship. Our sex life has been on a steady decline, honestly since we got married. Less and less and less every year, and yes, kids make that even more difficult (and provide very easy excuses)

About 2 years ago, I was close to cheating. There was a girl at work that I flirted with often. We started hanging out , and we always seemed to end up talking, touching innocently, flirting, but nothing ever happened between us. The feeling this girl gave me inspired me to tell my wife how I was feeling, what I was missing, etc. I told her how important sex was to me, asked her what I could change, or if she needed to change something. Her response was that she "just didn't really think about it like you do" and that she would try to work on it. Well she didn't work on it, at all.

The flirty girl didn't work with me any more, and I lost that "flame" with her and let it go, and went about life as usual. I've been working a lot of hours over the last six months. I fell into this flirty relationship with one of my coworkers 22 and we just would have a lot of fun with one another. Mad sexual tension. A few months back things happen and she blows me. Its great. Best sex of my life. We set up plans to meet up off work hours and we do.

My coworker is in perfect shape. Its like my perfect woman. I love the way she loves me. She appreciates me, she satisfies me, she matches my sexual drive, and even exceeds it. She is everything I was missing in life, and I'm as happy as I've been in a long time. She is also crazy about me which feels unbelievable. Its been a while since someone has just wanted me to be happy and wanted to please me. I now consider her my girlfriend.

I don't wish to hurt my wife. But I do wish to be happy.

I do not wish for my children to grow up in a home with divorce. I want them to grow up with myself and my wife still being the team we've been so far, doing equal parts to take care of them, and always be there for them.

I realize a lot of what I'm saying are things that can't go together. I want to be with my girlfriend, I don't want to hurt my wife, and I don't want my kids to suffer . I can't have it all. Now I feel stuck

I need help because I can't seem to go through with this alone, and I have no one close enough with the time and level of trust that I can confide in, so I would really appreciate it if you'd offer me some advice.

Thanks for reading

There is the problem; you married a girl too young to know what marriage is all about.

Guys stop forcing young naive girls into marriage.

Marry mature ladies already fantasizing how to keep their home forever sweet, not girls still wearing their panties upside down

many men today don't deserve to grow to adulthood


many men have side chic outside and never do they disrespect their woman or contemplating of quitting marriage with the mother of their kids


I just hope this your post won't give some reasonable ladies negative thought about men


Op, you're not a real man, you're expected to try within your capacity to reinstate the sex you enjoy in the relationship with her, back to her


I'm so disappointed in this your post, because of sex? that babe you want to leave your wife for will soon do some fraud on you or even give you STD/HIV then your eyes will open

men with side chic are vulnerable to danger, yet this dunce want to quit his marriage. nonsense

I thank all sincere comments and I'm happy no one has clicked like to the op's comment

Op I don't hate or judge you, you've done wrong, repent and ask for forgiveness from God and your wife.

That your girlfriend is a strange woman and will kill anyone else after her who comes into your life, because I assure you that other women/girls will come.

The same woman who maliciously wants to take you from the wife of your youth? You married at 24 to a 20 year old according to your write up, even if it seems one kind that you said your ejima are just one year old.

High libido is not a sign of love or sexual attraction. The day you can't match her drive, she will cheat on you and prove to you that one of you is a plain nymphomaniac.

I pity your situation and pray you come out and God restores your marriage and life.

Every mature person here in NL especially those married for 5, 10, 15, 20, 25 years upwards would tell you that se.x is not all about marriage and marriage is not all about se.x.

May God help you op and each and everyone of us in Jesus name, amen

Oion Oion you're not doing well at all..

Foodqueen:
You've been with your wife for 12yrs and your kids are 1.
Two years ago, u started having fling
I don't understand, I really don't

Was it that you waited for 11yrs or what
Address the main issue gan-gan.

The issue gan gan is that their sexual life is boring and sex is important to him. We may not have solution for him but don't blame him either for flirting. God help you bro.

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You don't need help. Enjoy yourself, be ready to accept the consequences when your indiscretions get know. You know, just be happy for as long as you can be.

papaejima20199:
This is my first time posting NL , although I've been reading a lot in the last few months . I'll try to be as detailed as possible. I don't even know if I'm asking a question, or advice, or what. I just have to get some things out of my brain.

I’m 36 and my wife is 32. we've been married for 12 years and have two children, twins age 1. I would say happily married. As in, we don't fight, , never any abuse of any kind, no major life disagreements. I love my wife. She is a great mother, a great provider for the family, and we make a great team when it comes to raising our kids. However, she leaves me feeling undesired. Sexually, just intimacy in general, not feeling wanted or desired, missing that flirtatious quality that we all enjoy in a relationship. Our sex life has been on a steady decline, honestly since we got married. Less and less and less every year, and yes, kids make that even more difficult (and provide very easy excuses)

About 2 years ago, I was close to cheating. There was a girl at work that I flirted with often. We started hanging out , and we always seemed to end up talking, touching innocently, flirting, but nothing ever happened between us. The feeling this girl gave me inspired me to tell my wife how I was feeling, what I was missing, etc. I told her how important sex was to me, asked her what I could change, or if she needed to change something. Her response was that she "just didn't really think about it like you do" and that she would try to work on it. Well she didn't work on it, at all.

The flirty girl didn't work with me any more, and I lost that "flame" with her and let it go, and went about life as usual. I've been working a lot of hours over the last six months. I fell into this flirty relationship with one of my coworkers 22 and we just would have a lot of fun with one another. Mad sexual tension. A few months back things happen and she blows me. Its great. Best sex of my life. We set up plans to meet up off work hours and we do.

My coworker is in perfect shape. Its like my perfect woman. I love the way she loves me. She appreciates me, she satisfies me, she matches my sexual drive, and even exceeds it. She is everything I was missing in life, and I'm as happy as I've been in a long time. She is also crazy about me which feels unbelievable. Its been a while since someone has just wanted me to be happy and wanted to please me. I now consider her my girlfriend.

I don't wish to hurt my wife. But I do wish to be happy.

I do not wish for my children to grow up in a home with divorce. I want them to grow up with myself and my wife still being the team we've been so far, doing equal parts to take care of them, and always be there for them.

I realize a lot of what I'm saying are things that can't go together. I want to be with my girlfriend, I don't want to hurt my wife, and I don't want my kids to suffer . I can't have it all. Now I feel stuck

I need help because I can't seem to go through with this alone, and I have no one close enough with the time and level of trust that I can confide in, so I would really appreciate it if you'd offer me some advice.

Thanks for reading

Because of sex you want to leave a woman that you call the mother of your children?
Because of sex you want to leave a woman you shared vows with?
Because of sex you want to leave a woman that have stood by you through tick and thin?
All because of 5mints pleasure..

How do some men think??

franchasng:
There is the problem; you married a girl too young to know what marriage is all about.

Guys stop forcing young naive girls into marriage.

Marry mature ladies already fantasizing how to keep their home forever sweet, not girls still wearing their panties upside down

yvelchstores:
Stupid fake story. U supposedly married at 24 and your wife at 20. Then you have twins, age 1.
If u have been childless for 11 years, one year is too quick to kill all your joy from father hood to embrace cheating.

I am suspecting nl now hires ppl to post captivating but FAKE stories cos the kind of stories I see these days, are playing with my intelligence.

Suspecting? Something that has been going on for long. To drive traffic.

Omar09:


Before it used to be women who are always this emotional. You'd be surprised that 22yo is just scheming. That girl don't love you. With that said, let's now talk about the problem here, YOU. That sexual desire you are getting from that your side chic, you can get that from your wife. You lack the skills to get what you want from your wife. You see women conform to the present environment, so she being cold about sex could be you are cold about sex around her. You've gotten too comfortable and is she. She might be waiting for you to make the move. Just come back from work, lay on the bed in your room naked and when she walks in, tell her to show you what's she's got, she should make you climax. Of course she will be off guard and all, she might not do it, she might do it. She does it, fine, build on it, always put her up for work. Always make her do the sex thing... Arouse her in weird ways. Then if she didn't oblige to it which I'm 50% sure she won't, then tell her she's driving you outside. And watch the spark return.

Don't ever wife that 22yo girl, you'd realize you made a mistake if you do it.

To you first I will go back to that guy later.
As a woman you are I'm 100% choice you are a single lady, because no married woman will tell me she is not fed up with sex. That lady the guy is after today will later turn restricting him of sex later.

papaejima20199:
This is my first time posting NL , although I've been reading a lot in the last few months . I'll try to be as detailed as possible. I don't even know if I'm asking a question, or advice, or what. I just have to get some things out of my brain.

I’m 36 and my wife is 32. we've been married for 12 years and have two children, twins age 1. I would say happily married. As in, we don't fight, , never any abuse of any kind, no major life disagreements. I love my wife. She is a great mother, a great provider for the family, and we make a great team when it comes to raising our kids. However, she leaves me feeling undesired. Sexually, just intimacy in general, not feeling wanted or desired, missing that flirtatious quality that we all enjoy in a relationship. Our sex life has been on a steady decline, honestly since we got married. Less and less and less every year, and yes, kids make that even more difficult (and provide very easy excuses)

About 2 years ago, I was close to cheating. There was a girl at work that I flirted with often. We started hanging out , and we always seemed to end up talking, touching innocently, flirting, but nothing ever happened between us. The feeling this girl gave me inspired me to tell my wife how I was feeling, what I was missing, etc. I told her how important sex was to me, asked her what I could change, or if she needed to change something. Her response was that she "just didn't really think about it like you do" and that she would try to work on it. Well she didn't work on it, at all.

The flirty girl didn't work with me any more, and I lost that "flame" with her and let it go, and went about life as usual. I've been working a lot of hours over the last six months. I fell into this flirty relationship with one of my coworkers 22 and we just would have a lot of fun with one another. Mad sexual tension. A few months back things happen and she blows me. Its great. Best sex of my life. We set up plans to meet up off work hours and we do.

My coworker is in perfect shape. Its like my perfect woman. I love the way she loves me. She appreciates me, she satisfies me, she matches my sexual drive, and even exceeds it. She is everything I was missing in life, and I'm as happy as I've been in a long time. She is also crazy about me which feels unbelievable. Its been a while since someone has just wanted me to be happy and wanted to please me. I now consider her my girlfriend.

I don't wish to hurt my wife. But I do wish to be happy.

I do not wish for my children to grow up in a home with divorce. I want them to grow up with myself and my wife still being the team we've been so far, doing equal parts to take care of them, and always be there for them.

I realize a lot of what I'm saying are things that can't go together. I want to be with my girlfriend, I don't want to hurt my wife, and I don't want my kids to suffer . I can't have it all. Now I feel stuck

I need help because I can't seem to go through with this alone, and I have no one close enough with the time and level of trust that I can confide in, so I would really appreciate it if you'd offer me some advice.

Thanks for reading

bros ur head correct at all
You mean u wanna leave ur wife for a lash pussy cos of say she fuccck u well?

A slay queen u don't know how many boyfriends she get? Probably she blows u for ur money.

Na so ur village people want take useless u

Bro sleep well and wake up then think again

Sex is not really a big deal neither is it life sustaining...

Sit with your wife, and have a talk with her. It's quite natural for most women's libidos to shrink with hormonal changes as they age or birth children... There are therapeutic approaches to help remedy this.

Jumping ship at this point is not in any way manly, and highly wicked knowing fully well you have infant kids... This is nothing but selfishness!!!

The grass always looks greener on the other side.
Stick to your wife as she is a good woman, what Everyman prays to have.
The side chick can take care of your other needs, though there is nothing like family.

viceddy95:

So, is because of sex you want to leave your wife ,who has given you two beautiful kids for a young girl who is in her flirting and hoeing period because she dy give you different styles....

You see how devil is using you to manipulate yourself because of sex you can get from olosho house and still be at peace with your wife.....

OP you have your answer.
You can have good sex life
And still keep your boring wife.

When u started having sex with ur wife it was fun but ur dick in now use to her pussy it's no longer fun. U meet new pussy it's like heaven on earth. U get confuse. U wish urs was like it. U don't guide the taught,u r led to think of divorce. My brother ur girl is never better than ur wife. Many of us cheat but we can never replace the mother of our children with side chick. Side chick r like government car,u ride n cruise with it after sometime u return it back to govt. Don't mk the mistake u will regret. You will not forgive urself,ur family will have reservations about u,ur children will not forgive u,ur friends will not trust u,I personally will call u a fool. If only u know how many dick she has rejected for 12yrs just to ride urs

She's everything you've been missing, is she everything you also have in your wife?

Good luck. Seek a divorce first.

Well. I don't see the rationale divorcing your wife for this new girl. Trust me, your feelings for her will pass. Just give it time.

Your kids are just one year of age and twins at that. Your wife must be so stressed out trying to ensure their well being. Why don't you wait? Exercise a little patience and give your wife time to recharge?

In the mean time, do what you must with this girl (it isn't my duty to preach to you since your conscience is enough) but don't make the mistake of destroying your young family especially when they have done nothing to you to deserve it.

I cant help but think that there are a group of writers out there who have made some bet to see who can churn out the most commented made up story on nairaland. Well, if that is the case here, well done. This looks real enough.

So many fake stories that doesn't add up in NL now

Compliant:
@op you no well

Very soon you will understand that sex is not everythin
Better hold on to your family OR YOU END UP LOSING ALL

A WORD IS ENOUGH FOR THE WISE

It is a lie. You are putting fear in the guys mind. Sex may not be everything but telling him he will loose all is not true. He just need to keep talking to the wife and she must commit to improve also.

If the love dies in that marriage, everything is lost already.

APCNig:


Girlfriends are just there to put spice into your sex life, nothing more. Just fucck for some months and move on to the next victim. Despite the fact that adultery is bad, very very bad, but the reality of life is that men get bored of their wives and want to spice up their sex drive once in a while, that is what side chick are there for. Never ever marry a side chick. If you do the mistake of marrying her, after few years, you will get tired of her and look for another girl to spice up your sexual appeal. A side chick should remain a side chick until you are done with her and move to the next.

I don't like your username but I love your comment because it is the reality that everyone is finding difficult to accept

With all the qualities you stated that your wife has, she is very perfect for you, work on her show her in practical what you want, you will arouse her feelings. Do not go to your girlfriend because of sex because at some point you will regret it. Never ever think of leaving her because of sex so that you will not regret or destroy your self. That is the type of woman many men are looking for as wife and you want to attach your self to one Olosho because of sex, be guided. Please get her a househelp to relieve her of some domestic job that keeps her busy and tired after work

Wow, the way u spoke almost touched me. I even felt like telling u to keep both, cos u made me feel sorry for you. But truth is, u are in the wrong. Thank God that u know ur wife is special, then u can do this,that is, make ur marriage work. Yes, u can totally have it all in ur wife.
First of, get her a help, so much housework dampens a woman sex drive. Spend quality time and money on her, if she looks good,u will want to have constant coitus wit her,lol. Help wit the house and kids, maybe she will rest enough to remember sex. Most important, pray together. Devil has a way to kill a marriage slowly simply by giving u a hot babe who won't stand when it gets red.

Foodqueen:


The entertainment this days eeh..,.no be small thing.

There's nothing new under the sun.. These things happen in life and you know it. It might be different with individuals

How do I say this politely?

Well...you being a foool. Not that you are yet..but you will if you go down this part. You enjoy the mad rush. But leaving your wife for a girl of 22. With no life experience or pressure to boast of my guy. Sex may be crazy but give it time.

A responsible single lady wunt go for a married man,what's the assurance that she wunt leave you for another married man ?

yvelchstores:
Stupid fake story. U supposedly married at 24 and your wife at 20. Then you have twins, age 1.
If u have been childless for 11 years, one year is too quick to kill all your joy from father hood to embrace cheating.

I am suspecting nl now hires ppl to post captivating but FAKE stories cos the kind of stories I see these days, are playing with my intelligence.

I smell foul play here could be true but other way round I think he needs to adapt or withdraw from this kind of life.. He is a guy who loves sex wife no that kind of person... The whole story is cooked up from my POV