donstan18:
We so much cherish and value new things more than old ones thinking they are the best, forgetting that the new ones will still turn old.

Bruv, don't ever leave your good wife for a side chick because of sex. Sex is something any lady can offer, but not all ladies possesses wifely attributes.

Kindly keep your wife and do whatever that will bring you sexual happiness in a reasonable way without hurting your wife and family.

donstan18:
We so much cherish and value new things more than old ones thinking they are the best, forgetting that the new ones will still turn old.

Bruv, don't ever leave your good wife for a side chick because of sex. Sex is something any lady can offer, but not all ladies possesses wifely attributes.

Kindly keep your wife and do whatever that will bring you sexual happiness in a reasonable way without hurting your wife and family.

Jman06:
It is the duty of the wife to make herself sexy and appealing to the man. Some ladies just lose their attractiveness once they're married and give birth.
What else would a lady be doing in marriage if she can't at least be on top of her sex game Worse of all if she is not working and shouldering some financial responsibilities in her home. What is she doing that would stop her from taking care of her body and making her matrimonial bed alluring to the husband?

Must the man do everything

Blissbath:
D older d marriage,d lesser d sex.Dnt divorce ur wife but keep d oda lady as ur sex mate.Divorce children are d cause of juvenile deliquency.Protect ur marriage

k2money:

To you first I will go back to that guy later.
As a woman you are I'm 100% choice you are a single lady, because no married woman will tell me she is not fed up with sex. That lady the guy is after today will later turn restricting him of sex later.

esthervera:
U have married for many years,is wen u make love 2 a young girl b4 u know,ur wife is not satisfy u,y cant u teach her, u guys can watch porn together to learn new style and understand wat u really mean but instead u want to end ur marriage and stay with ur girlfriend.i hope after few years with ur new girl u won't start 2 see d opposit of her,because many couple face much more challenge than this in there union and they get over it together.i guess u are ungrateful husband that always think about himself alone.

Do not worry. When his new se.xx mate annoys him, he will report her misbehavior to his wife.

cRobo:
can we blame ur village people already

Foodqueen:
You've been with your wife for 12yrs and your kids are 1.
Two years ago, u started having fling
I don't understand, I really don't

Was it that you waited for 11yrs or what
Address the main issue gan-gan.

yvelchstores:
Stupid fake story. U supposedly married at 24 and your wife at 20. Then you have twins, age 1.
If u have been childless for 11 years, one year is too quick to kill all your joy from father hood to embrace cheating.

I am suspecting nl now hires ppl to post captivating but FAKE stories cos the kind of stories I see these days, are playing with my intelligence.

chronique:
@OP: you described your wife as a fantastic partner and said so many lofty things about her. That to me, is a lot of good news. Do you know why so many of us are still single? It's because we have spent several years of our lives searching for the kind of partner you have but are/were unlucky to meet one. You see that woman who gives you priceless peace and joy at home, she's worth more than a thousand pussies that gives you the best sex styles outside. What you have is what a lot of people are dying to have. I understand that as men with healthy libido, we always need mind blowing sex to keep us sane and relaxed and all that but the truth is, you should never trade that for a partner who gives you peace. Keep talking to your wife and let her know that the lack of good sex between you guys is killing things. You can subtly ask her if she would prefer you paying sex workers to satisfy you so you don't stress her. Listen to her and watch her body language. I'm very sure she would nearly bring hell down. Then let her know she has to seat up and be up and doing. Sex is an integral part of any union be it just a relationship or a marital union. Don't let anybody try and downplay the importance of this to you. However, you need to apply wisdom and maturity in dealing with this situation but leaving your wife for that small girl is not even an option worth thinking of. It's a very silly idea and I don't blame you cos we all sometimes, think really stupid things. However, acting it out is what determines if we are foolish or not.

SeedofDavid:

He didn't, he had just one. Even Abraham had one wife at a time... Barring sleeping with Ishmael's mum, he didn't remarry till Sarah was dead. Besides, isn't the headache of monogamy sufficient for a man?

AshiraWealthy:
Have you tried to juxtapose your wife's duties with that of your girlfriends? I'll quicly do that for you so you'll know how inconsiderate and selfish you are.

Your wife takes of the kids, cooks, does the chores, prolly school runs is on her and she still goes to work for money to support you in the home front. Does a mental calculation of how to satisfy everybody. while all your girlfriend does is take care of herself only. Eats out, (She can decide not to Cook for months) does laundry for only one prolly once a week.
So she has all the energy and time in the world to flirt with you and give you all the satisfaction. Mentally shes not worrying about what the children will eat, wear, and take to school which can be very draining on its own.

Now... how do you expect your wife, after doing all those energy draining activities to still have the energy to flirt or be all over you like your girlfriend?
This is pure wickedness against that innocent woman. Considering all she has sacrificed for this marriage.

Men.....

AshiraWealthy:
Have you tried to juxtapose your wife's duties with that of your girlfriends? I'll quicly do that for you so you'll know how inconsiderate and selfish you are.

Your wife takes of the kids, cooks, does the chores, prolly school runs is on her and she still goes to work for money to support you in the home front. Does a mental calculation of how to satisfy everybody. while all your girlfriend does is take care of herself only. Eats out, (She can decide not to Cook for months) does laundry for only one prolly once a week.
So she has all the energy and time in the world to flirt with you and give you all the satisfaction. Mentally shes not worrying about what the children will eat, wear, and take to school which can be very draining on its own.

Now... how do you expect your wife, after doing all those energy draining activities to still have the energy to flirt or be all over you like your girlfriend?
This is pure wickedness against that innocent woman. Considering all she has sacrificed for this marriage.

Men.....

OlawaleBammie:


Better tell ur wife the real gist to make her sit right and u guys should work more on ur sexuality and attractiveness.

But wait, is divorce the solution to everything? cus me i dont understand oo

Me i cant divorce oo, i would rather go polygamous... Anybody that tell me polygamy is a sin should also tell me if David, Solomon, Abraham, Job, Jacob, Mohammed and the rest are currently in hellfire., If u cant tell me dat den shut whatsoever in ur mind up...

bukatyne:


How people never understand this is beyond me.

I like the OP, he is looking for a permanent fix by marrying the side chic

It is the ones cheating while they still want to maintain the marriage with wife/husband that amuses me.

Omar09:


My point exactly!

GODWIN78:
instead of cheating i,think he should legalise it by taking her as second wife,instead of cheating .

Xclusiveme:
Why do some married men think marriage is all about satisfying your sexual feelings. Its way beyond that. That's why the perfect age for marriage for men is 30. You are already a man

LANRYUS:


Apart from being a Muslim that I am, polygamy is part of our culture as Africa. I don't seems to understand this doctrine of "one man one wife" in the midst of all these plenty girls.

papaejima20199:
This is my first time posting NL , although I've been reading a lot in the last few months . I'll try to be as detailed as possible. I don't even know if I'm asking a question, or advice, or what. I just have to get some things out of my brain.

I’m 36 and my wife is 32. we've been married for 12 years and have two children, twins age 1. I would say happily married. As in, we don't fight, , never any abuse of any kind, no major life disagreements. I love my wife. She is a great mother, a great provider for the family, and we make a great team when it comes to raising our kids. However, she leaves me feeling undesired. Sexually, just intimacy in general, not feeling wanted or desired, missing that flirtatious quality that we all enjoy in a relationship. Our sex life has been on a steady decline, honestly since we got married. Less and less and less every year, and yes, kids make that even more difficult (and provide very easy excuses)

About 2 years ago, I was close to cheating. There was a girl at work that I flirted with often. We started hanging out , and we always seemed to end up talking, touching innocently, flirting, but nothing ever happened between us. The feeling this girl gave me inspired me to tell my wife how I was feeling, what I was missing, etc. I told her how important sex was to me, asked her what I could change, or if she needed to change something. Her response was that she "just didn't really think about it like you do" and that she would try to work on it. Well she didn't work on it, at all.

The flirty girl didn't work with me any more, and I lost that "flame" with her and let it go, and went about life as usual. I've been working a lot of hours over the last six months. I fell into this flirty relationship with one of my coworkers 22 and we just would have a lot of fun with one another. Mad sexual tension. A few months back things happen and she blows me. Its great. Best sex of my life. We set up plans to meet up off work hours and we do.

My coworker is in perfect shape. Its like my perfect woman. I love the way she loves me. She appreciates me, she satisfies me, she matches my sexual drive, and even exceeds it. She is everything I was missing in life, and I'm as happy as I've been in a long time. She is also crazy about me which feels unbelievable. Its been a while since someone has just wanted me to be happy and wanted to please me. I now consider her my girlfriend.

I don't wish to hurt my wife. But I do wish to be happy.

I do not wish for my children to grow up in a home with divorce. I want them to grow up with myself and my wife still being the team we've been so far, doing equal parts to take care of them, and always be there for them.

I realize a lot of what I'm saying are things that can't go together. I want to be with my girlfriend, I don't want to hurt my wife, and I don't want my kids to suffer . I can't have it all. Now I feel stuck

I need help because I can't seem to go through with this alone, and I have no one close enough with the time and level of trust that I can confide in, so I would really appreciate it if you'd offer me some advice.

Thanks for reading

tyup:


come down to the north......I'll give you lots of decent husband stick hajias

Foodqueen:
You've been with your wife for 12yrs and your kids are 1.
Two years ago, u started having fling
I don't understand, I really don't

Was it that you waited for 11yrs or what
Address the main issue gan-gan.